


Good Times, Bad Times

by Mi_chan



Series: Good Times, Bad Times Arc - Jimbert AU [1]
Category: Led Zeppelin
Genre: Alternate Universe - Prostitution, Alternative Universe - Sex Worker, Anal Sex, Anger Management, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood, Blood and Injury, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Healing, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Injury Recovery, Internalized Homophobia, Lace Panties, M/M, Major Character Injury, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Prostitution, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Recovery, Religious Conflict, Rimming, Serious Injuries, Sex Work, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Trust Issues, anger management issues, hustler Jimmy, rich robert, yes there IS fluff here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-10-02 01:53:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 23
Words: 92,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17255387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mi_chan/pseuds/Mi_chan
Summary: Robert picks up a young, poor, dirty, homeless sex worker in the streets of London. Somehow, the boy manages to wriggle his way under Robert's skin with his cheeky charm, but of course things aren't that easy.~Present day, modern times Hustler!Jimmy/RichGuy!Robert AU~This story is set in 2018, Robert is about 30, Jimmy just turned 20 (yes, I know. I know. It’s all wrong. Bear with me.). It takes place in London. Led Zeppelin doesn’t exist in this universe.- There is no graphic description of rape in this story. Only of the injuries sustained by it, the crime itsself is only mentioned.





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Well, happy new year, everyone! :)
> 
> I decided to try something different for a change and write a modern times Jimbert AU! I've never written an alternative universe before, this is my very first time, so please be gentle with me!
> 
> So, I hope Jimmy Page never finds this because if he does, he'll sue my ass... lol. Of course this is only fiction and the characters in this story were just losely based on real life people!

~Present day, modern times AU~  
This story is set in 2018, Robert is about 30, Jimmy just turned 20 (yes, I know. I know. It’s all wrong. Bear with me.). It takes place in London. Led Zeppelin doesn’t exist in this universe.

 

“Ow... fuck... stop, please, you’re hurtin’ me...” 

Robert stopped dead in his tracks and listened closely. The little whine came out of the filthy, nasty looking side alley he’d just walked past. He heard more of the pitiful whimpers and now, they were being joined by grunts and gasps. 

“Please, it hurts so much...” A little sob followed the plea and Robert sighed.

He’d had a long day, it was cold, it was raining, the meeting with his client had taken way longer than expected and he just wanted to go home, take off the ugly, brown suit he was wearing (it made him look much older than he was, he thought), shove a pizza in the oven and watch the newest episode of Lucifer on Netflix, but he couldn’t just ignore this, could he? 

Robert sighed again and squared his shoulders. He turned around and peered into the little alley. Of course he couldn’t see a thing, it was pitch black, so he fished his phone out of the pocket of his coat and switched on the flashlight. 

Sure enough, behind some trash cans, he spotted two silhouettes, a short, balding man with a huge beer belly, and the much skinnier frame of a boy bent over in front of him. 

“Oi! Let go of him!” Robert called and straightened up, trying to look as tall and threatening as possible. The older man’s head snapped around and he grunted again as he stumbled backwards, away from the boy. “Don’t make me call the police!” 

“Bloody hell...” The man cursed, closed his pants hastily and tossed something on the ground next to him. He then glared at the boy in front of him, who looked genuinely confused and hadn’t yet registered what was happening.

“I’m not paying if I don’t get to finish!” He spat and snatched the little bundle of bills from the boy’s hand, shoved him back against the wall and took off. 

“Wha-...? Fuck! No, wait! I’m sorry!” The boy called after the man, but he was already gone, around the corner, out of sight. The boy slowly turned around to glare at Robert, pulling up his pants. “What the fuck, man? You just lost me enough money to last me the rest of the bloody week!” He said and crossed his arms in front of his chest. 

Robert blinked at him as realisation dawned on him. This wasn’t a robbery or even rape, he’d walked in on a prostitute and his suitor. 

“But... he was hurting you...” He said slowly. “I just wanted to help.”

“Aww, my knight in shining armor, aren’t you just fucking adorable...” The dark haired boy cooed, sarcasm dripping heavily from his voice as he rolled his eyes. “D’you really think he could hurt me with a dick that fucking tiny?” He laughed humorlessly and glared at Robert again. “He paid for this! He wanted me to act like that! He go off on pretending to hurt me! I was doing perfectly fine!”

The blonde stared at him in bewilderment, the little whimpers and whines had sounded so real, he’d believed that the boy was in pain right away, but it had just been an act, he’d been putting on a show for his suitor.

“Well, you were pretty fucking convincing.” Robert huffed and raked a hand through his wet, blonde curls. “Look, I’m sorry. I had no idea... how much did he owe you? I’ll pay for it.” He said and took his wallet out of his coat. 

The skinny boy eyed him suspiciously, his eyes darting from the wallet in his hand to his face and back several times before he spoke up again. 

“200 quid and you owe me an additional 50 because that bloke is never coming back. You lost me a damn good customer.” He said angrily. Robert shrugged and started counting the bills in his wallet. He had a sneaking suspicion that the boy hadn’t asked for that much from the older man, it seemed like a lot of money for a quick fuck in a filthy alley, but he didn’t really care. 

The boy needed the money a lot more than Robert did, if this is what he’s doing for a living. The blonde shuddered in disgust at the very thought and sighed.

He counted 300 pounds and reached out to give it to the hustler. He felt awful for losing the boy money and scaring off a customer, even though he didn’t approve of the way he was making money. He was still being eyed suspiciously even as the boy inched a little closer to quickly snatch the money out of his hand. He immediately took a few steps back again. 

“Again, I’m sorry. I didn’t know and I just wanted to help.” Robert repeated, raising his hands to show he didn’t mean any harm. He watched the younger one quickly count the bills, his eyebrows rising on his forehead. 

“You rich or sumthin’?” He asked, obviously still suspicious over how easily Robert had handed over that amount of money. The blonde shrugged.

“I’m doing pretty well, let’s leave it at that.” He said with a sigh. “Look, I don’t live too far from here. You look like you could use a warm meal and a shower. Some dry clothes, maybe.” He offered. He almost wanted to punch himself, this boy screamed trouble, but he just couldn’t help himself. The need to help others had always been strong in him. 

“Oh, no no no no.” The boy laughed, shaking his head. “I’m not gonna let some bloody psychopath lure me into his lair to murder me!” 

“Psychopath?” Robert asked, frowning.

“Well, yeah! You come barging in here, scare off my customer, then you give me more money than I asked for and now you want me to come home with you! All of that screams psychopath, in my opinion. Why would I trust you?” He asked, still glaring. Robert shrugged, the boy had a point, he had no reason to trust a stranger.

“Alright, you don’t have to. It was just an offer.” He said softly and turned around to leave, tucking his walled and his phone back into the pockets of his coat.

When he turned to leave the alley and get back on the main street, he heard footsteps behind him. 

“Oi... dude, wait.” The boy’s soft voice made him smile. Someone like him shouldn’t sound so angelic. “I guess I could use a shower...” He added. The fact that Robert hadn’t been pushy and tried to convince him to come along had obviously made him realize that the blonde really didn’t mean any harm. 

“Alright. Let’s go then.” He said and waited for the boy to fall into step next to him. The wind and the rain picked up soon and Robert cursed under his breath. “You know what, let’s take a cab.” Once they were sitting comfortably in the cab and Robert had given the driver his address, he turned to look at the boy. 

He couldn’t see his face right now, it was hidden almost entirely behind a curtain of thick, wavy black hair that hung messily down way past his shoulders. The clothes he was wearing were old, worn and dirty and he could smell him all the way from the other side of the cab. It wasn’t a pleasant smell. At all. Robert didn’t think he’d ever seen such a filthy human being before.

He was so skinny, he barely filled half of the seat in the cab. The little bit of skin Robert could see was incredibly pale and pasty, he looked like he hadn’t had a meal in a while. He only carried a small backpack with him, but it was filled to the brim. Robert had the horrible suspicion that those were all of his possessions.

“Well, that kinda explains the money.” The boy commented after he heard Robert’s address and raised his head a little to glance at Robert. His hair shifted for just a moment as he did, letting Robert see his face for a split second before he hid it again. Damn, he had a pretty face. “If you can afford to live in Kensington, you must be filthy rich.”

“Well, as I said, I’m doing pretty well for myself.” Robert said with another sigh. He hated talking about money, it made him feel uncomfortable. 

“What do you do?” The boy asked, a hint of curiosity in his voice. 

“I’m a publisher and an editor.”

“Really? You read bloody books for a living and you make that much?” The boy huffed, shooting him a glare. “Some people really have it easy.” 

“I know. It’s not fair.” Robert said, earning himself a surprised look from the boy. “I know what you mean. I get to do something I love and make money off of it. It’s not fair. I was lucky.” He shrugged, it wasn’t like he wasn’t aware of just how privileged he was.

He didn’t mention that most of his money went to various charities rather than indulging himself. 

They stayed silent for the rest of the way to his place, until the cab pulled up in front of Robert’s house. Granted, it was way smaller than the other houses in the neighborhood and had only cost half as much, but it was nice. Robert liked it. He quickly paid the driver and walked around the car to open the door for the boy, out of habit, but the other had already gotten out of the cab. 

He gave Robert a funny look as he almost walked into him and the blonde apologized. The stared at each other for a brief moment before Robert gestured towards the house and led the way. He unlocked the door and let the boy enter, followed him and closed the door. 

“Robert, huh?” The boy said as he looked around the hall and the blonde blinked in surprise. He didn’t remember telling the boy his name. “The doorbell?” The brunette suggested as he noticed Robert’s surprised face and laughed. 

“Ah. Yes.” Robert said as he took off his coat. “What’s your name, then?”

“Whatever you want it to be...” The boy answered and Robert shivered at the way his voice changed. That was obviously the voice he used on his customers and Robert hated it. 

“Alright, Mr. Mysterious, let’s get you a towel and some dry clothes...” He sighed and went upstairs. He rummaged through a few drawers before he found some soft sweatpants and a shirt that would still be way too big on the skinny body, but at least it probably wouldn’t slip of his shoulders. He grabbed some underwear and socks as well, then fetched a fresh towel.

When he left his bedroom, he found the boy admiring the paintings on the wall in the hallway between the bedroom and several of the guestrooms. 

“Hey... here you go, some clothes and a towel. Let me show you the bathroom.” He said and thought about handing him the things he’d just gathered, but changed his mind. They’d just get dirty anyway. The boy followed him into the main bathroom and gasped audibly.

“Holy fucking shit, this looks like... some kinda spaceship or something!” He said as he looked around. Now that Robert could see his face properly, he took a moment to admire him. He had beautiful features and now, in the light of the bathroom, he could tell that his eyes were green. He was scarily thin and almost as tall as Robert. 

Robert hated himself for finding him attractive. He didn’t want to have anything in common with those men who paid for the boy’s... services. He tore his eyes away from him and glanced at the futuristic shower.

“It does, doesn’t it? Does all sorts of fancy shit, steam, massage, rainfall, it plays music and has mood lights, too.... even though I don’t think I’ve figured out all the buttons, yet. ” He grinned. “It does the job, though. There’s shower gel, shampoo and conditioner in there already, but there’s more in that cupboard there, if you don’t like the scent. Use whatever you like. There’s a hairdryer there, too.” He offered and put the clothes as well as the towel down on top of said cupboard.

“Thanks...” The boy said and walked over to the shower. “I don’t even know how to use this, man...” Robert chuckled and joined him, quickly explaining how to adjust the temperature, water pressure and other settings. He couldn’t help but crinkle his nose and lean away from the boy a little as he explained, and of course he noticed.

“Look, I’m sorry I don’t smell like flowers, dude.” He huffed and glared at Robert. “Not everybody has it as easy as you do.” 

“I’m sorry... I didn’t mean to insult you.” Robert sighed. “Wanna give me your clothes? I’ll wash them and put them in the dryer... so you don’t have to put them back on all dirty and smelly when you leave.”

“Won’t that take too long?” 

“You can stay the night. You can pick one of the guestrooms. I don’t mind. They’ll be dry and fresh tomorrow.” Robert offered and the boy eyed him suspiciously again. “I promise I don’t have ulterior motives. It’s still raining and I’d rather not sent you back out there tonight. Have a pizza and watch some Netflix with me instead.” He chuckled. 

“Alright, then. Thanks.” He finally agreed after studying Robert for a moment longer and started chucking off his clothes. Robert made a surprised noise and turned away quickly and the boy laughed. “Don’t worry, I’ve got nothing you don’t have!” He said, amused, and tossed his clothes at Robert, who caught them and quickly left the bathroom. 

He couldn’t help but smile to himself as he went to put the boy’s clothes into the washer. It was nice to hear him laugh, a real, genuine laugh at that. He added a generous amount of detergent and switched the washer on before going to wash his hands. He didn’t even want to know what kind of filth was on those clothes, they smelled like something died in them.

Only now did he notice that his shirt was still wet, the rain and soaked through his coat. He sighed to himself, maybe he could use a shower as well. Luckily there was a guest bathroom that also had a shower, so Robert quickly hopped under said shower, too.

He put on his pyjama and went downstairs into the kitchen to prepare two of the frozen pizzas he kept stockpiled in his freezer. Sometimes, meetings with his clients took longer than expected, just like today, so he liked to have some convenient food, that he could just stick in the oven, around. He switched on the oven to allow it to heat up and put the pizzas on a tray. 

When he left the kitchen, he heard the hairdryer upstairs in the bathroom, so at least his guest for the night was done with his shower. He went to the living room and switched on the huge TV there, selected the Netflix app and chose the latest episode of Lucifer to watch over dinner. 

The oven was hot by the time he got back to the kitchen and he put the pizzas in. 

“Frozen pizzas? Really?” He turned around to find the boy standing in the doorway of the kitchen, an amused look on his face. He blinked at the sight of the boy in his clothes, they were way too big even though Robert had chosen the smallest ones he could find. 

The shirt totally did slide off one pale, boney shoulder and Robert couldn’t stop staring at the exposed patch of skin that was now slightly pink-ish, due to the hot shower. He could tell that the pants were almost slipping off the skinny hips as well, but the shirt was long enough to cover that easily. 

His long hair, that had been so matted and tangled before was now freshly washed and dried and it was gorgeous and shiny. He shook himself out of it and grinned at the boy.

“Don’t judge me. They’re convenient. I don’t always have time to cook and ordering takes ages because there’s literally not a single place that delivers anywhere close to here, so stuff is always cold when it gets here if I do order. This is easier.” He shrugged. 

“You’re an odd one.” The boy sighed and shook his head. “You dress like a grandpa, you live in this super fancy place, yet you have long hair like some kinda hippie and you eat frozen pizza.” Robert shrugged.

“Maybe I’m just... me. I told you, I was just lucky when I published someone’s novel a few years back and it kinda blew up. Made me a lot of money. I had no idea that would happen when I chose to open my own publishing house at 25.” He explained. “Come on, let’s go to the living room, these will take a few minutes.” 

He led the boy to the living room and told him to get comfortable. He chose the spot right next to Robert on the sofa and it made the blonde smile. Apparently, the ice had been broken, at least a little.

“So... you’re still not gonna tell me your name, huh?” He asked gently, glancing over at the younger man. 

“I’d rather not.” He said, shifting uncomfortably.

“You’re also not gonna tell me your story, hm? Why you’re out there, doing... that?” He prodded and watched the boy get even more uncomfortable. He shook his head. “Alright. That’s ok.” He said, deciding to end the interrogation. He grabbed the remote and started the episode. 

“What’s this about?” The boy asked after a while.

“Well... Lucifer got bored of hell, so he left. He moved to LA and ran into this detective, so now they’re solving crimes together.” He explained. “It’s based off of a comic book.”

“You read comics?” The brunette asked, surprised. “I thought you’re more the... literature type of guy.”

“Comics are a type of literature, aren’t they? In a way. They’re entertaining, I like them.” Robert sighed. “You really have a completely wrong picture of me. Maybe you shouldn’t judge people so harshly.”

The boy huffed and glared at him.

“Right. Like you’re not judging me, for what I do. You can’t even talk about it.” 

“I’m not judging you for it. You’re doing what you have to do. I don’t like that you’re doing it, because it’s dangerous and I’d rather see you safe, but... I’m not judging you for it. I’m sure you have good reasons for it.” Robert said and looked over at the boy. 

“Well, I don’t need your pity either.” He glared and crossed his arms in front of his chest again. 

“I don’t...” He trailed off when he realized it would have been a lie. He did feel sorry for the boy, he couldn’t help it. “I... I think the food is done.” He said and got up to take the pizzas out of the oven. 

They spent the rest of the evening eating their pizzas, drinking coke and laughing at the show. Robert actually had a really good time, it was nice to share this with someone. After he’d broken up with his girlfriend a year ago, he’d almost become somewhat of a recluse.

When the episode was over, the dark haired boy looked over at him and batted his eyelashes. Robert raised an eyebrow at the look.

“So... want a blowjob?” The boy asked and Robert stared at him in disbelief.

“W-what?” He asked dumbly.

“A... blowjob? You know? Like this?” He moved his hand next to his mouth and poked his tongue into his cheek in an obscene gesture. “I give pretty good handjobs, too, if you prefer that...” He slowly put his hand on Robert’s thigh and moved it upwards seductively.

“I... I know what a blowjob is! Bloody hell! No! I don’t want a blowjob! Or a handjob! What the fuck?” Robert almost yelled. He cringed when the boy flinched and moved away from him. He felt horrible for losing his temper and apologized. “Sorry... I didn’t mean to raise my voice. Why would you even offer that, though?” 

“I thought... you’ve been so nice to me, you gave me all that money, clothes, a shower, food... I thought... you must be doing this to get something in return, right?” He sighed and glared at Robert again. “But I guess my filthy whore mouth isn’t good enough for you!”

Robert sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He could feel his temper rise again and he didn’t want to yell at the other yet again. The boy was obviously not used to someone just being nice to him for the sake of it and he was confused. He didn’t understand why Robert would do all this without getting anything in return and he wanted to repay Robert the only way he knew how.

“Look... you mockingly called me a knight in shining armor, earlier, remember? Yeah, I’ll admit it. I like helping people. Just for the sake of helping them, without getting anything in return. Well, it does make me feel good, too, I guess.” He shrugged. “I’m not perfect, I know I probably shouldn’t do this and I’ll get myself in trouble one of these days, but I can’t help but feel sorry for you when I see you all wet and cold and filthy. If I can make it just a little better, even just for one night, why wouldn’t I?” 

“Helper syndrome, huh?” The boy sighed. “I guess I understand. But... I also don’t. I saw the way you looked at me, earlier, in the kitchen. Why don’t you want me to suck you off?”

“Because... that’s not something...” The blonde struggled to find the right words. “I don’t want to do these things with someone who does them because they think they have to.” Robert said wearily. “I wanna do that with someone who wants to because they like me.” 

“Ah, you’re one of those. A true romantic.” The boy laughed and shook his head. “Sorry, can’t relate.”

“No, it’s not like that. It doesn’t have to be about love or romance. But... at least for me, it shouldn’t be about an obligation, either. Or money.” He explained. “I’m sorry I yelled at you, ok? I’m not mad at you.” 

“Ok. So... I still get to stay the night?” The boy asked and Robert nodded. 

“Of course. Come, let’s go upstairs, I’m sure I have a spare toothbrush somewhere... I’ll get one of the guest rooms ready for you while you get ready for bed.” He said and get up from the sofa. They put their plates and cutlery into the dishwasher and went upstairs. A spare toothbrush was found quickly, and Robert made the bed in the guest room next to his own bedroom. 

“Thank you, again. Night night.” The boy said, oddly shyly, as he entered the room.

“You’re welcome. Sleep well.” Robert answered and watched him smile once more before he closed the door. He felt a pang in his chest when he heard the door being locked and he wondered what happened to this young man to make it so hard for him to trust. He was glad he could provide a safe place, clean clothes, a full belly and a warm bed, at least for this one night.

He made sure the boy’s clothes would be warm and dry by the time he woke up, taking them out of the washer and chucking them into the drier, setting the timer for them to be done in the morning.

When Robert woke up the next morning, the guest room was empty, as was the rest of his house, the clothes in the drier were gone. He wasn’t quite sure why that made him so sad, he should have expected that, probably, but he couldn’t help himself. 

Later that day in the supermarket, he noticed his wallet was missing another 100 pounds. He sighed and shook his head, it was his fault for carrying so much cash on him in the first place. He couldn’t really blame the poor boy.


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert meets the boy again, finds out a little more about him and... starts to develop feelings for him. Just when he's almost ready to admit those (at least to himself), something horrible happens.

The next few weeks were but a blur for Robert. One event followed the other, book signings, release parties, he even had to be at the opening of a little bookshop in the neighborhood. 

He got into a fight with Maureen, his ex, over some records she allegedly left at his place. She claimed she bought them, while Robert was pretty sure they were his. In the end, he let her have them, he didn’t even care all that much. He just wanted the silly quarreling to end. 

They had parted on good terms, mostly, promising each other to stay friends, but of course neither of them had made an effort to reach out and talk to the other once Maureen had moved out.

Having her over at his place again, when she picked up the records, reminded him of how lonely he felt recently. His house felt too big and too empty and while he usually was too busy to really feel lonely, sometimes I’d catch up on him. 

Especially at night, when he woke up in his big bed, all alone, and he’d listen to the strange sounds the old house would make at night, a loose floorboard creaking here, a rusty pipe gurgling there, a weird scratching sound coming from the walls from time to time.

It wasn’t like he was afraid of the dark, but he longed for someone to snuggle up to in those moments, hold them close and feel their warmth, listen to their breathing instead of the ugly sounds the old house made and slowly fall back asleep.

His thoughts kept drifting back to the dark haired little menace he’d helped a few weeks ago, wondering what he was doing, if he was alright. He found himself going back to that street where he’d met him, several times, but usually the boy was nowhere to be seen, except for one time.

Once, he spotted the boy with another suitor, an equally dirty, raggedy looking older man. He watched as the guy gave him a single, small bill and the boy reached into his pants with a forced smile. Robert quickly turned away, he didn’t really want to see any more of that. 

He rounded the corner to find an ATM. Things obviously weren’t going all too well for the hustler, so Robert thought he’d help out a little again. Just like last time, without scaring off a customer this time, though. 

When he got back, he found the boy leaning against a wall underneath a street light, waiting for the next suitor. His eyes widened as he saw Robert approaching him and he pushed himself off the wall, making to run away.

“Hey! Wait! It’s alright, I just...” Robert called gently and the dark haired boy stopped, turning to look at him warily. “I just wondered if you wanna... spend the night at my place again?” He finished and fished a few bills out of his pocket. “I’ll pay for your company. Just your company.”

The younger man stared at him in disbelief, his mouth slightly agape. He blinked a few times and took a deep, steadying breath. 

“I... I stole from you. How come you’re not mad?” He asked. Robert shrugged.

“You needed it far more than I did and I know you couldn’t just ask for more. You felt bad enough about getting all that from me without giving me anything, right? I knew that. It’s alright, you took what you needed.” He said. 

“Bloody hell, you’re weird.” The boy breathed, taken aback. “You’re gonna get yourself in trouble like that, one day. You’re way too trusting and naive.” He added and Robert shrugged again. The boy had a point, but what was the worst thing that could happen? He could steal some more money, maybe something from Robert’s house. The blonde really couldn’t care less.

“Probably. But for now, I’m fine, right?” He smiled. “Come on, don’t leave me standing here like this, take it.” He thrust the wad of cash in the boy’s direction again. Reluctantly, he came closer and took it. 

“Alright, I guess... don’t blame me for taking advantage of you, though.” He warned, a teasing little smile on his lips. Robert chuckled and shook his head. He noticed the brunette was wearing newer clothes and he smelled nowhere near as bad as he did the last time, so maybe that cheap handjob he’d witnessed earlier wasn’t the usual business.

“I won’t. Promise. I blame only myself.” He said with a flourish, offering the boy his arm. The brunette laughed at his antics and accepted, falling into step next to him. This time, it wasn’t raining and it wasn’t as late as the last time, so Robert would have liked to walk with the boy for a bit, but this time, he had come into town with his car. 

“Seriously? A Prius?” The younger one laughed, shaking his head. “I thought you’re rich.” 

“Doesn’t mean I have to flaunt it.” Robert said and opened the door to the passenger seat. “Besides, this one is environmentally friendly.” He added and grinned as the boy rolled his eyes. 

“This is starting to feel like Pretty Woman.” He commented once they were both seated and Robert had driven off. The blonde laughed.

“Come on, I’m not that old!” He argued, a fake-wounded expression on his face.

“Granted, and I’m much prettier than Julia Roberts.” The boy said cheekily and wriggled his eyebrows at Robert, making him laugh again.

“You sure are, I bet you’d look amazing in that red dress.” He teased, earning himself a hard glare before the younger man laughed again.

They drove to Robert’s place in a comfortable silence. Once inside, the brunette flopped down on his sofa and glanced at him, a calculating look in his eyes. He was probably thinking about just how much he could get out of Robert tonight.

“Can I use your shower again?” He asked.

“Of course.”

“Can you wash my stuff again?”

“Sure.”

“Can you wash some other things, too?” He continued, glancing at his backpack that looked even fuller this time. Robert nodded.

“Yes, of course. Just give me whatever you want washed, I’ll take care of it.” He said. 

“Will there be food?”

“Yes, I’ll start cooking as soon as you’re in the shower and your clothes are in the washer.”

“What are you getting out of this again?” He asked suspiciously and Robert sighed.

“Knowing you’re safe, clean and warm.” He said. “Also, I may or may not be a tad bit lonely and I may just enjoy your company.”

“How come? You’re not ugly, don’t you have a wife? Or a boyfriend, I guess? Are you even gay?” The boy asked with a little frown, as if he couldn’t quite figure Robert out. The blonde was amused, ‘you’re not ugly’ almost counted as flattery, coming out of this boy’s mouth.

“I thought you noticed the way I looked at you?” Robert teased with a wink and grinned as the brunette blushed a little. “I’m not gay. I’m very much into women and until about a year ago, I had a girlfriend. We broke up and I’ve been a little out of the loop since then.” He sighed.

“Sorry to hear that.” The boy mumbled. “So, you’re straight, then why did you ogle me like that?” 

“I said I’m not gay. I didn’t say I’m straight.” Robert said. “I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.”

“Oh. It’s ok, you didn’t. I know how to deal with guys wanting me, you know, like that. I’m not sure how to deal with someone being nice to me just like that.” He said, fidgeting nervously. 

“Well, just take it for what it is. Come on, let’s get your clothes in the washer.” Robert said, not wanting to make the younger man even more uncomfortable. He turned to make his way up the stairs when the boy spoke up again.

“Jimmy.” 

Robert turned around again, raising an eyebrow in surprise.

“My name. Jimmy.” The boy repeated, staring at the floor between his feet and Robert smiled widely. 

“Well, nice to meet you, Jimmy.” He said warmly, happy he trusted him enough to finally tell him his name. He was pretty sure it was his real name, too. He smiled to himself softly, James was a mighty big name for such a young, skinny boy, but Jimmy was... oddly fitting. 

They went upstairs and Jimmy gave Robert everything that needed washing. It wasn’t a lot, two spare shirts, a spare pair of pants and some underwear, as well as the clothes he’d been wearing. Robert took care of it while the boy showered, then went downstairs to start cooking. He actually had quite some time to prepare the food, Jimmy seemed to really enjoy his shower this time. 

By the time he joined Robert in the kitchen, the food was almost done. He was wearing an oversized Metallica hoodie that the blonde had dug out from his wardrobe and a pair of Robert’s pyjama pants. He looked utterly adorable.

“Can I help?” He asked, peering into the oven and into the pot on the stove curiously. 

“Well, it’s pretty much done. Did you enjoy your shower?” Robert grinned teasingly. The brunette blushed again. That seemed to happen a lot today and Robert hated himself a little for enjoying it.

“I... yeah. I tried some of the other settings... it’s really nice.” He admitted as he fiddled with the hem of the hoodie. “Sorry if I took too long.”

“You didn’t, I’m glad you enjoyed it.” Robert assured him. “Care for a glass of wine?” 

“Wine? Seriously? Trying to get me drunk already?” Jimmy grinned and Robert rolled his eyes.

“You’re impossible.” He said as he shook his head. “So, do you want some or no?” 

“A sip won’t hurt...” The boy said, hopping to sit on the counter next to the fridge. Robert grabbed two wine glasses and poured a little bit of white wine into each of them, passing one to Jimmy. 

The brunette raised the glass and swirled the liquid around a little, then sniffed it a little, before taking a sip. He savored it for a while. 

“Hmmm, very nice, light and airy, not too sweet... do I detect a hint of raspberry?” He mused, then grinned at Robert flirtily. The blonde laughed and tossed one of his oven mitts in the boy’s general direction.

“You’re full of shit.” He said, amused. He couldn’t help but worry at the sudden surge of affection he felt for the younger man. 

“Well, I’m sorry, but if you want a real opinion on the wine, you shouldn’t give it to a boy whore.” Jimmy said and poked his tongue out at Robert. The blonde felt his temper flare once more, he didn’t like the way the boy talked about himself. “Uh-oh.” Jimmy said when he saw Robert’s expression darken. 

“Nevermind.” Robert huffed and put his glass down. He turned to the stove and checked on the food.

“I didn’t mean to make you angry.” Jimmy said softly. “But you can’t change who... what I am.” 

“I know. I’d just rather not think about it.” Robert said curtly. “Come on, food is ready. Grab some plates and help me set the table, would you?” He saw the sad, hurt expression on Jimmy’s face as he turned around, but he ignored it, afraid he’d lash out at the poor boy if he talked about it now. 

The very thought of Jimmy out there, selling his body, letting all those guys touch him and do all sorts of things to him... infuriated Robert to no end. It infuriated and disgusted him and he wanted it to end, but he knew it wasn’t that easy. 

He knew his temper was a problem, he lashed out easily when he was upset, often over the smallest little things. It was the reason Maureen had decided to break up with him and Robert had made a conscious effort to try and control himself ever since. He thought he wasn’t doing too badly.

They took the food to the living room, deciding to watch some more shows on Netflix at Jimmy’s prompt. The poor boy probably didn’t get much entertainment usually, so he took his chance now that he was at Robert’s place.

In no time, Robert’s anger was forgotten and they were laughing and joking, sitting on the big, comfortable sofa, thighs touching, still sipping their wine. 

After two more glasses, Robert had half a mind to slip the boy some more money and ask for more than just his company, but the surge of self hatred and disgust that very thought conjured up inside him stopped any such inclinations very quickly. He really did not one to be one of those guys, no matter how lonely he got. 

He didn’t want to go to bed either, though, he wanted to keep talking to Jimmy, he wanted to keep seeing him laugh at the series they were watching, the adorable little giggles warmed his heart, but he knew that the evening would have to end at some point. The thought made him sad. 

Soon, both of them were almost falling asleep on the sofa, so Robert suggested they go upstairs, to bed. Jimmy agreed with a yawn. The wine had obviously made him sleepy as well and it was pretty late. 

“You don’t have to... disappear again, tomorrow, you know. You can stay for breakfast and... if you need anything else...” Robert trailed off and shrugged. Jimmy actually smiled at him.

“I know. Thank you.” He said sincerely and moved in to give Robert a quick hug. “Night night...” He said, just like last time, and disappeared into his room. Robert almost laughed at himself for thinking of the guest room as Jimmy’s room, but he couldn’t help it. 

“Night night.” He whispered, more to himself, still a little shocked at the sudden display of affection. He wasn’t quite sure if it was the wine or something else, but Jimmy had obviously relaxed a little more around him this time, he felt comfortable and safe.

He shook himself out of it and went to bed as well. When he woke up the next day, the door to Jimmy’s room was still closed and his backpack was still next to the sofa downstairs, so he hadn’t left like the last time. Robert smiled to himself and started to prepare breakfast. 

He almost melted when a very sleepy Jimmy showed up quite a while later, lured downstairs by the smell of bacon and eggs. His hair was a huge mess, his clothes wrinkled and in disarray and he was rubbing his eyes sleepily. Robert wanted to hug him and tuck him back in. 

“Good morning, sleepyhead.” He grinned, trying to ignore the warm, fuzzy feeling swirling in the pit of his stomach. 

“Morning...” Jimmy yawned and stretched. His hoodie slid up a little and bared a pale hipbone where the pyjama pants had slipped. Robert cursed himself for staring and turned away, pretending to be busy with the coffee machine. He felt guilty for feeling like this about the boy, this was the last thing he needed. Robert sighed and poured two cups of coffee. 

“Did you sleep well?” He asked and cringed at the way his voice came out, clipped and cold.

“Yeah... are you angry again?” Jimmy asked, gingerly accepting the cup of coffee.

“No... well, not at you, anyway.” Robert answered, deciding to be honest. The boy eyed him curiously as if trying to figure him out once more and took a sip of coffee.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself.” He said, finally, and hopped on the counter again, just like last night. A part of Robert wanted to yell at him for making him feel these things, tell him to fuck off, get out of his life and never come back, another part of him wanted to ask him to stay. He couldn’t do either of those things. 

“I’m trying... I have a long way to go.” He said instead and took a sip of coffee as well. “Hungry?” 

“Yeah... very. Haven’t slept this long in ages.” Jimmy admitted with a little smile. “Or this well.” 

“That’s good, though...” Robert said and started shoveling eggs and bacon on two plates. He quickly grabbed some cutlery and handed one of the plates to Jimmy, then hopped on the counter next to him. They ate in comfortable silence and Robert felt his mood drop further. He wasn’t ready to let the boy go yet. 

When the time had come and Jimmy left, Robert felt ready to murder someone. He hid behind his work, reading and editing all day without even a break for lunch or dinner.

He didn’t seek Jimmy out again for a few weeks. He was afraid of what he was feeling, the warm, fuzzy swirls of affection inside him every time he thought of the boy scared him more than anything. He wasn’t ready to fall in love again, especially not with Jimmy. That would never work out anyway, Robert knew that much. 

One evening, the urge to see Jimmy again got too much and Robert made his way into the center of town, where he knew the boy would be hanging out, but he couldn’t find him. He walked through several of the streets he’d known Jimmy to work in, he even asked a few of the other boys if they’d seen him. Of course they had seen him around, as usual, but for some reason, none of them had seen him today. Robert sighed and went back home, going to bed.

He was woken up in the middle of the night, sometime around 3, by the shrill ringing of his doorbell. Woken up with a start, he cursed and went downstairs to yell at whoever dared to wake him up at that hour. He opened the door and-

“Jimmy?” He said, surprised. Sure enough, the boy was standing right in front of him. 

Actually, he was leaning against the doorframe, holding himself up with one arm, the other arm was slung protectively around his waist. It seemed to dangle at a strange angle, though. He looked even paler than usually and the part of his face that wasn’t obscured by his hair looked dirty, bruised and... bloody? He was breathing heavily and trembling.

“Robert... help...” He wheezed weakly and coughed. Robert heard the blood splatter on the tiles in front of his door as he coughed before he even looked down to see it. 

“Fuck! Oh my god, Jimmy!” He gasped and just so managed to catch the boy in his arms as he passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so (not) sorry... :P  
> whether or not there'll be another chapter depends entirely on whether or not I'll get feedback on this one :)


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert panics, he doesn't know what to do, how to help Jimmy. Luckily, he has a friend who can help. He finds out what happened to the poor boy.

Panic gripped Robert tightly and he didn’t know what to do. He quickly dragged Jimmy inside and kicked the door shut behind him.

The boy had coughed up blood and some part of Robert’s brain remembered, even in his panicked state, that putting him on his side would be his best bet for now, so he carefully lowered Jimmy to the floor and lay him down on his side. Robert quickly grabbed a few of the big sofa pillows and propped them up behind the boy so he wouldn’t roll on his back again and choke.

He stumbled backwards and stared at the motionless, unconscious body on his floor. He had no idea how to act or what to do, he’d never been in a situation like this, he’d never even seen an injured person before in his entire life. He had half a mind to try and wake Jimmy up, somehow, but he didn’t know how and he was too afraid to cause any more damage.

Of course, calling an ambulance was the first thing on his mind, but they’d take a while to be here and... Jimmy would get arrested, for prostitution and most likely, drug possession as well, Robert knew the scene a little after all, he’d seen enough. He probably wasn’t the only person Jimmy had stolen from, either. 

His thoughts were spinning out of control rapidly, going from thinking about how to help the boy to how this could have possibly happened and who could have done this to him and why. 

All of those thoughts happened in a split second, but it felt like eons to Robert as he stared at the crumpled form on his floor, trying to pull himself together enough to finally act. He squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath, he couldn’t lose his mind right now, Jimmy needed his help.

Another thought entered his mind, searing hot and sudden, and he gasped. Of course. John. He needed to call John.

Frantically, he started looking for his phone. He almost dropped it when he found it, opened several other apps before finally finding the actual phone app, scrolled past the number he was looking for a few times, before he pressed the ‘call’ button. His hands were shaking so badly he could barely hold on to the phone as it dialed his friend’s number. 

John Paul Jones had been the only person in the neighbourhood who hadn’t treated him like vermin when he moved here. All of the other pompous rich gits had thought very little of the young publisher as he moved into the neighbourhood and they didn’t even try to hide it. John had been different, he’d been nice and welcoming right away. He quickly became a good friend and, more importantly, at least right now, he was a doctor.

“Please pick up, please pick up, please pick up...” Robert whispered frantically, like a mantra and glanced over at Jimmy. A bit of blood had dripped from his mouth, onto the wooden floor. There were bloody patches all over his clothes, especially on his chest from where he’d coughed it up, and his pants seemed to be soaked in it. Robert inched a little closer to check on him and he saw that the boy was breathing. Shallowly, but he was breathing. It reassured him just a tiny bit.

“Robert?” The blonde almost jumped out of his skin at the sleepy voice coming out of the speaker of his phone. “What the fuck...? It’s the middle of the night!”

“Jonesy! Fuck, you have to come over, right now! Please! I need you over here, right away!” Robert babbled in his panic, providing no explanation whatsoever. 

“What...? Robert, calm down. What happened?” His friend asked, sounding wide awake after hearing the state his friend was in.

“Can’t explain, oh god, please, HURRY! He’s bleeding, he coughed up blood, he’s gonna die and I don’t know what to do! Please!” Robert cried. 

“WHAT?! Who? Fuck. I’ll be right there.” Jonesy cursed and hung up. He lived almost right next door to Robert, he’d be over in no time, faster than any ambulance and Robert knew that much. He tried to calm himself down with that thought. He almost flung himself against the door with how quickly he wanted to open it when John rang the doorbell.

“Holy shit, there’s blood all the way up the driveway! What the fuck happened??” He asked and Robert pulled him inside, pointing at Jimmy’s unconscious body on the floor with a shaking hand. “Robert, who is this?” 

John immediately rushed to the boy’s side, put his bag down and knelt down next to him. He brushed the messy black hair out of his face and checked his pulse, then he pulled up his eyelids to look at his eyes. Robert could see now that his bruised face was beginning to swell up already.

“A... a friend. He just... showed up, like this, just now. I don’t know what happened!” Robert babbled. 

“He coughed up the blood, you said?” John asked as he opened his bag, taking out all sorts of bandages, syringes and tools as well as a bunch of things Robert didn’t even know and put on a pair of gloves. 

“Yeah...” He confirmed with a shudder. “Is there anything I can do to help, anything I can get you?”

“I’ll have to check for internal bleeding... his lungs might be punctured... uhm... go get some towels and a bowl with warm water.” He told Robert and the blond quickly sprinted up the stairs to do just that.

By the time he got back downstairs, John had turned Jimmy on his back and cut open his shirt. His torso was covered in dark bruises that seemed to grow darker by the minute. The doctor had already cleaned and closed some minor wounds and he was now using a stethoscope to listen to the boy’s lungs.

“Oh my god...” Robert gasped, it was hard to look at, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away either. It looked absolutely terrifying and the blonde felt cold fear and dread settle in the pit of his stomach.

“He’s been beaten up badly. As far as I can tell no broken ribs, but he might still be bleeding internally, although I can’t hear any more liquid in his lungs right now. He’s breathing alright. I suspect the blood came from his stomach, he took a lot of blows in that area. His arm’s dislocated.” John said. “Robert, who is this? Why did you call me, you could have called an ambulance. Is he... is this... is this what I think this is?” John asked as he prepared some sort of injection, filling a syringe with a yellowish liquid. 

“Is this a junky? A hustler? That’s why you couldn’t call an ambulance?” He prompted when Robert didn’t answer. 

“I... I don’t think he’s a junky. He is... he is a prostitute, yes. I also called you because you would have been here way more quickly than an ambulance anyway.” Robert sighed. “It’s not what you think it is.” 

“It isn’t? Then what is it? Come on, don’t make me drag it out of you like that, what happened?” John glared at him. He pushed the boy’s sleeve up and turned his arm to find a vein, set the needle and pushed it in. “Hm, you’re right, not a junky... at least as far as I can tell. This should help stopping the internal bleeding, for now.” 

Robert sighed again, sitting down on the floor as he watched John starting to clean the blood off of Jimmy’s face and torso. 

“It really isn’t what you think it is. I never paid him, not for that, I mean. I never touched him. I did give him money, but only because he needed it, I... he’s my friend, John.” He started telling his friend the whole story, how they met, how he helped the boy and how they, kind of, became friends.

“He came to me because he trusts me.” Robert finished. “If he had gone to the ER, they would have arrested him, so he came here.”

“I see.” John said and sighed. “What’s his name?”

“Jimmy. He... he didn’t want to tell me, at first. He didn’t trust me, he thought I was some kind of psychopath trying to lure him to my place to murder him.” Robert almost smiled at the memory. “He only told me his name the second time we met.”

“Come over here for a moment... put your hands on his shoulder, right there.” He instructed and Robert did as he was told. John took hold of Jimmy’s other arm and pushed, first up, then against his body and against Robert. The sound his joint made when it popped back into place made Robert sick and he had to fight against the bile rising in his throat. 

“Is he going to be fine?” He asked once he found his voice again.

“I don’t know yet. He’s breathing just fine, so if the internal bleeding stops, he should be fine... I stabilized him as much as possible, but I’ll have to check him over properly. I fear there’s more to this than bruises and a dislocated arm. Can you get him into a bed?” 

“Is it safe to move him?” Robert asked warily and John nodded.

“Just be careful when you lift him.” He said and helped getting Jimmy into a position where Robert could easily pick him up.

“Fuck, he barely weighs a thing.” He cursed.

“He’s severely malnourished and underweight. I can give him a shot with the most important vitamins and all that but... in the long run, he’s gonna have to eat.” John said, following Robert into the guest room, where Jimmy was gently put on the bed. 

“I’m going to make sure he will. I’m not letting him go back. Ever.” Robert said once he lowered the unconscious boy on the bed. 

“You really like him, huh?” John said, giving him a strange look. 

“So what if I do?” Robert asked defiantly, crossing his arms.

“Nothing... it’s good. He needs a friend, someone who cares about him.” John smiled sadly. “Alright, I’m going to ask you to leave me with him for a while... go clean up the blood and the dirty towels downstairs, please.” He added and Robert knew he was being dismissed. The doctor probably didn’t want him around for what he had to do next, so he nodded and made to leave the room.

“Call me if you need anything.” He said and closed the door. He leant against the wall in the hallway and let go of a breath he’d been holding. His hands were still trembling and his head was spinning. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so terrified, if ever. 

Images of Jimmy’s bruised and beaten body kept flashing in front of his eyes, he kept hearing him cough and the splatter of the blood on the floor...

He squeezed his eyes shut and shook himself out of it. He needed to focus on the task at hand for now, so he went downstairs and started cleaning up. Once that was done, he cleaned the tiles in front of the door as well and tried to clean the driveway as much as he could. The textured concrete hat soaked up most of the drops of blood and there wasn’t much he could do in the middle of the night. It wasn’t too obvious, so he let it go and went back inside.

He started pacing around the living room, waiting for John to show up again and tell him how Jimmy’s doing, but he only appeared to ask for paper towels and clean water twice, then hurried back to the room the boy was in. 

Robert went and poured himself a drink, making a face at the way it tasted and how the alcohol burned his throat. He didn’t drink often, at all, he didn’t even like it, but right now, he needed it. He sat on his sofa and tried to calm down. 

It took John another hour to finally come out of the guest room. He flopped down on the sofa next to Robert, then got up again and fixed himself a drink as well, downing a generous amount of whisky before sitting back down next to his friend. Robert turned to look at him. 

“So...? How’s he doing?” He asked carefully. He was actually scared of the answer.

“I... he’s going to be fine. I think. He was so lucky none of his injuries were fatal. I’ll have to keep a close eye on him for a while, though, just to make sure...” John said. He sounded flat and he looked positively traumatized. “Robert, I haven’t seen something like this before, and I worked in an ER for a while. He was beaten up so badly... his whole body is bruised, almost every inch. I was wrong, by the way, about the no fractures thing. They crushed the fingers of his left hand and he does have two cracked ribs. Luckily neither of them punctured his lungs. As I said earlier, I can’t hear any more liquid in his lungs, whatever was in there, he must have coughed it up already, or maybe it came from his stomach, I’m not quite sure.” 

“Fuck.” Robert cursed. “Why would anyone do that to him?” He whispered and John shook his head. 

“Robert, he... he was raped. Several times, probably, or by several people... and brutally so. It’s awful, there’s a bunch of tearing, I patched him up as well as I could, but... it’s bad. They beat him, choked him and raped him, probably for hours.” He said flatly. 

Robert didn’t answer. He felt sick again. Of course, part of him had expected something like that, but actually hearing it made his blood run cold. He’d tried to save Jimmy from being raped, but it had turned out to be just a stupid little fantasy he acted out for a suitor. This was real, very real and the thought made Robert’s stomach turn. 

“I gave him some of the strongest painkillers I had on me, but I’ll have to go get something else from the hospital tomorrow. Well, later today.” John added.

“Why? Do you suppose he’s going to wake up soon?” Robert asked. The sun was rising already.

“He might. I’m not sure. I’ll wait for him to wake up, check on him, then I’ll go get something against the pain, as well as more bandages, they’ll soon need changing.” He explained. “Fuck, I’m just so glad he was out like a light while I patched him up. I never had to do so many stitches on one person.” John sighed. “We should probably go upstairs and sit with him, just in case he does wake up.” 

“You’re right.” Robert answered, but made no move to get up. He clenched his fists and closed his eyes.

“Robert, don’t you dare blame yourself for this. You didn’t do this to him.” John said and reached out to put a hand on his shoulder. 

“I know, but I was the one who let him go back out there. I... I didn’t even offer to let him stay with me, Jonesy.” Robert sighed. 

“Would he have stayed, had you offered?” The smaller man asked and Robert looked at him.

“I... No. I don’t think so. He’s very proud. Very stubborn.” He admitted after a while. “I think... he doesn’t want to be dependant on anybody, that’s why he was out there, all alone, in the first place.”

“Then you have nothing to feel guilty for. None of this is your fault. You couldn’t have prevented this. Come on, let’s go upstairs.” He said and got up. Robert thought about it for a moment and realized his friend was probably right, but it didn’t stop the gnawing feeling of guilt inside him completely, either. 

He got up and followed John to the other room, but he almost took a step back when he entered, taken aback by the stench of blood, sweat and whatever else in the room. 

“Oh fuck...” He groaned quietly and covered his nose with his hand. 

“Yeah, I know... let’s air the room a little... but not for too long, I don’t want him catching a cold on top of all of this. He’s very vulnerable right now.” John sighed and went to open the window. 

Robert braced himself and glanced at the bed. John must have gotten a new blanket once he was done, because the one the boy’s body was covered with was fluffy and clean while the one Robert had put him down on had been smeared with blood from the boy’s clothes.

When Robert’s eyes fell on Jimmy’s face, he gasped. He barely recognized his pretty face and it made him want to cry. His hair was matted and there was dried blood and other stuff all over it, making strands of it cling together.

One of his eyes was swollen badly, bruised dark purple, slightly larger than a golf ball, the other wasn’t swollen as badly, but the bruises were almost the same color. His lips were split in several places, there were a few bandaids on his forehead and a few stitches in his cheek. There were dark strangulation marks around his neck and Robert was grateful that the rest of his body was covered for now, he didn’t know how he’d react to seeing even more of the damage.

He left the room again to bring an additional chair from the other guest room and put it next to the bed as well, sitting next to his friend.

“Jonesy? Thank you. For coming over, for helping him. For answering your phone in the first place.” He whispered after a moment of silence. The doctor nodded.

“I’m glad I did. I almost didn’t pick up, you know, but then I thought, you wouldn’t call at that hour if you didn’t have a damn good reason. You don’t drink, so it couldn’t have been you drunk dialing me, either.” He said.

“I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t picked up.” Robert sighed.

“You would have called an ambulance. It would have been fine, probably. I’m still glad I picked up.” John said. “Robert... there’s something else... you got some of his blood on you... you do realize... that there’s a chance he’s HIV positive?” John said, then. Robert frowned.

“Well, yes, but... I thought you can only get that if you get the blood in a wound, yourself. I’m not injured.” Robert argued.

“A little papercut may be enough, Robert. Granted, the chances are very, very small, but... I’m going to run a test on him as soon as I can and I just want to be sure and do a screening for you as well. I don’t usually deal with this sort of thing so I don’t know as much about this as I wish I did, but I do know there’s a post exposure prophylaxis for this. I’ll get you both on it, just in case.” John explained. The blonde chewed his lower lip and sighed, nodding.

“You’re probably right...” He said. “Better safe than sorry.”

Robert had to look away from Jimmy’s beaten face and his eyes fell on the bundle of clothes in the corner of the room. He got up and gingerly picked them up.

“I’m gonna go wash these.” He whispered, the familiar task giving him some sort of normalcy, a routine. He threw the shirt John had cut earlier in the trash and went back downstairs to pick up Jimmy’s backpack as well, opening it to wash any spare clothes the boy had, too. 

He saw a little wallet, an old phone, an empty bottle of water as well as a little sachet with white powder and another one with colorful little pills in the backpack as well. Of course, he should have expected that, but it still threw him off a little. Just because Jonesy didn’t find any incisions in his arms didn’t mean Jimmy didn’t snort coke or pop pills. He put everything back inside, feeling guilty for invading the boy’s privacy like that and went to put his clothes in the washer, as usually. 

He wasn’t even mad at Jimmy about the drugs. Life on the street was rough, Robert knew that, of course he’d turn to drugs to make it at least a tad bit more bearable, from time to time. He’d probably do the same in that situation. He was angry at the world, though, for being such a cruel place and putting the poor young man through all that crap. 

He switched on the washer and went to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and a glass. 

“He’s probably gonna be thirsty when he wakes up...” He mused once he entered the room again. The window had been closed again and it didn’t smell as bad anymore. John nodded.

“Good thinking.” He agreed as Robert put the bottle and the glass down on the bedside table. “When he wakes up... let’s not interrogate him, ok? Let’s just make sure he knows he’s safe and everything’s gonna be alright. I sincerely hope, for his sake, that he doesn’t remember anything, anyway.” John added and Robert nodded in agreement. 

They sat in silence, waiting for the boy to wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why, oh why, do I have a thing for hurting this poor boy so much?? He'll be fine, I swear, I promise! 
> 
> Thank you for the feedback so far, by the way, it means the world to me. <3


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy finally wakes up and tells them his side of the story.

It took almost two more hours for Jimmy to finally stir. It was mid-morning, almost closer to noon than anything else and Robert was just about to doze off in his chair as he heard a little moan. His eyes snapped open and he was at Jimmy’s side in the blink of an eye.

“Jimmy?” He whispered and carefully cradled the boys good hand in his own. He felt it twitch, then it tightened, holding on to his hand tightly. “It’s alright, you’re with me, you’re safe.” He continued, not daring to speak too loudly. He didn’t want to scare Jimmy.

“R-Rob... ert?” Jimmy croaked and tried to clear his throat. He slowly opened the one eye that wasn’t swollen shut. “Robert.” He whispered when his eye focused on the blonde.

“Yeah... it’s me. I’m right here.” Robert answered. John had gotten up from his chair and poured some water into the glass. He slowly came over to the bed. “Don’t be scared, this is John, he’s a friend of mine.” He said gently when Jimmy clutched his hand more tightly as John walked into his limited field of view. 

“Here, try and have some water... just a little...” John said and held the glass to the boy’s chapped and split lips. He tilted it slowly and Jimmy managed to drink a few sips, spilling a little on the pillow. John gently dried his chin with a little towel he’d kept next to the bed. 

“There you go... I’m a doctor, I need to have a look at you... can you follow my finger with your eye?” He asked and slowly moved a finger in front of Jimmy’s face. It took a moment for him to focus on it and follow it. John grabbed a little light from his kit and shone it into his good eye repeatedly, watching the reaction of his pupil. Jimmy groaned and closed it again. 

“John. Give him a rest.” Robert said softly. 

“Just a mild concussion. I’m sorry, I had to make sure.” John apologized and sat back down. They were silent again for a moment, allowing Jimmy to adjust a little. Robert stayed by his side and held his hand, not that he could have left, the boy still had an iron grip on him and didn’t seem to want to let go. 

Robert didn’t quite know what to do, so he just held Jimmy’s hand, gently stroking the back of it with his thumb, waiting for Jimmy to say something. He wanted to reassure him, he wanted to apologize for letting him go back to his awful life on the street in the first place, but he knew it wasn’t the time and it wasn’t his place.

After a while, Robert noticed that the brunette had dozed off again, his beaten and battered body too exhausted to keep him awake for longer than a few minutes. He still didn’t let go of Robert’s hand, so the blonde sat on the bed with him, holding his hand and watching him sleep.

It was a few more hours before he stirred again, it was almost evening already. Robert’s back hurt from the way he was sitting in the bed, but of course, he didn’t complain. John had left to check on his family and drive to the hospital quickly to pick up some supplies, but by the time the boy woke up a second time, he was already back.

He brought fresh bandages and band aids as well as a little cast for Jimmy’s broken fingers and several injections. 

“Let me give him a small dose of this before he wakes up again, so he won’t be in that much pain.” John said and Robert moved a little on the bed so the doctor could get to Jimmy’s arm to inject the painkiller. “He can get more later, when he can tell me how he’s feeling.”

The swelling of Jimmy’s eye had gone down quite a bit already, so this time, when he came around, he opened both eyes to blink at Robert.

“Hey...” Robert whispered gently and tried his best to smile at him. It came out more like a worried cringe than anything else.

“Hey... thank you.” Jimmy finally said after a few long moments, glancing first at him, then at John. His voice was still rough, but a little better than it was the first time he woke. “I’m sorry.” 

“Wha-... Jimmy, what are you sorry for? You didn’t do anything, none of this is your fault...” Robert said, shocked that the first thing he’d say would be an apology.

“I shouldn’t have... dragged you into this. I was so, so scared and everything hurt so much and at first I didn’t know what to do or where to go.” Jimmy explained, his voice faltering slightly as his eyes welled up with tears. “But then... I just knew I’d have to make it to your place, to you, and I’d be fine. I knew you’d help me.” 

“Oh Jimmy... of course, I’d always help you... well, John helped, to be honest. I was lucky he was right there and came over right away when I called him. I would have had to call an ambulance if it hadn’t been for him.” Robert said and Jimmy sobbed, a few tears running down his bruised cheeks.

“I... I tried to go to the ER... but they... it was so crowded and the nurse there was so... so angry and she... told me to go away and said they don’t treat... ‘my kind’... there.” He brought out in between sobs. Robert stared at him in disbelief.

“What??” John gasped. “Which hospital did you go to? They can’t just... that’s...God. They must have thought you’re just a junky trying to get free pills or something. I’ll have to report them. They can’t just turn away a gravely injured person!”

“St. Thomas’ Hospital...” Jimmy said. Of course, that would have been the closest one to where Jimmy usually hung out, right in the center of town. It would have been the most crowded one, too. Robert shuddered at the thought of Jimmy being turned away even though he desperately needed help. He must have felt so lost, desperate and scared, considering he went to the ER despite the risk of being arrested.

“How... how did you even get here?” Robert whispered, bewildered, when he realized the distance Jimmy would have to cover from that hospital to his place.

“I don’t... remember all of it. I was so scared when they refused to help me... I left the hospital and I had no idea where to go at first...” Jimmy admitted. “I remember taking the tube from Westminster to High Street... but I don’t remember how I made it from there.”

“Hm, it’s not all that far, but in your state... whatever gave you the superhuman strength to drag yourself here... I’m glad you did and you’re gonna be fine...” Robert said. “I’m so proud of you.” 

“Proud?” Jimmy whispered, looking at Robert with a confused expression on his face. 

“Well, yes. For coming to me, for trusting me. For being so strong.” The blonde explained and Jimmy blinked at him, then looked away. Only then did he seem to realize he was still clutching Robert’s hand and tried to withdraw his own.

“Sorry.” He said quickly.

“No, Jimmy, it’s ok.” Robert said and squeezed his hand lightly. “I’m right here, for as long as you need me.” Jimmy looked at him for a moment, then nodded and relaxed a little more again.

“How... how come I’m not in pain? Well, not much, at least.” He asked, then. 

“I’ve got you drugged up on some painkillers.” John answered. “You can tell me when it fades, I’ll give you more. You don’t have to suffer. I’ve got a few more things I wanna give you, if that’s ok with you?” He asked and Jimmy made to nod his head, but thought better of it.

“Yeah. Sure.” He answered, instead, watching as John prepared the injections. 

“Alright, this one’s got all kinds of vitamins and stuff, you’re gonna need those to help get you back up on your feet... it’s a bit like a pepper up potion from Harry Potter.” John said and Jimmy gave him a strange look. Robert knew he would have raised an eyebrow if he could. 

“Is it really, Madam Pomfrey?” He said dryly instead, and Robert couldn’t keep himself from grinning at him. Looks like he hasn’t lost his snarky sarcasm. Robert was more than glad. John laughed as well and shook his head.

“Sorry. I usually work with children, stuff like this works to get them a little more excited about getting a shot.” He explained and Robert thought he saw the hint of a smile on Jimmy’s face. 

“Well, I appreciate the sentiment, but I’m a big boy, I can take it.” Jimmy said as John gave him the injection. He got another one that John told him would help fight any infections. He may act all strong and tough, but Robert still felt his hand tighten around his as the needle went in.

“There you go, all done.” He said and moved away to dispose of the used syringes. “Now, I want you to try and eat something. Your stomach may not like that, right now, but you need to eat.”

“Alright, I’ll try... but can I have some water, first, please?” Jimmy asked, glancing over at the nightstand. 

“Of course... let’s prop you up a little so you can eat and drink...” John said and Jimmy made to sit up on his own. “No! Wait. Let us help you... you’ve got two fractured ribs, we have to be careful. You just can’t feel it right now because of the painkillers.” He added quickly. 

“Guess you’ll get your hand back for now...” The boy said and let go of Robert’s hand. 

“We can hold hands some more later, if you like.” The blonde grinned at him and moved to help John prop him up against some pillows. 

“Sure, if you buy me dinner first.” Jimmy retorted and Robert smiled at John over the top of his head. He was so glad that Jimmy was the same cheeky, sarcastic little shit he’s always been, his spirit didn’t seem broken like Robert thought it would be. The doctor smiled back at him and shook his head in amusement. 

“My wife made some broth and I brought some fresh bread to go with it... you should be able to stomach that, I hope.” He said. “I’ll just go and fetch it.”

“Oh god, I hope you didn’t make your wife cook for me...” Jimmy groaned. He obviously still didn’t want to be a burden on anyone.

“No, don’t worry... she would have made soup either way, for the kids, I just asked for a bowl of the broth.” John reassured him and left. Robert sat back down on the bed and refilled the glass, handing it to Jimmy.

“So... the doc... did he... say anything?” Jimmy asked carefully, after a few sips of water. “About what happened to me?” He clarified and Robert swallowed thickly. He nodded slowly and watched as Jimmy closed his eyes and sighed. 

“So you remember...” Robert whispered, defeated. “We hoped you wouldn’t.” 

“Of course I remember.” Jimmy hissed and glared at him. He looked more embarrassed than angry, though. “I wished he hadn’t told you.”

“Jimmy... it doesn’t change the way I see you...” Robert said softly and the brunette huffed.

“Of course it doesn’t, you already thought I was dirty and disgusting and tainted in the first place!” He hissed just as John opened the door and entered the room. They both turned to look at his surprised face for a moment before turning back to each other.

“That is not true! I never thought that about you!” Robert argued, but Jimmy just glared at him, then at John.

“Why did you tell him?” He asked and John’s face fell as he understood what Jimmy meant and he realized what he’d done.

“I... I’m sorry... I shouldn’t have, it wasn’t my place...” He stammered. 

“Don’t you think I had a right to know what happened to you after you showed up on my doorstep like that?” Robert asked. 

“Robert. As a doctor, I had no right to disclose that information to you, he’s right.” John sighed. Jimmy moved to cross his arms in front of his chest but the pain in his arm and torso stopped him, so he dropped them again, slowly. “It would have been enough to let you know that he’s gonna be fine. I’m sorry, Jimmy. I’m only human and I was... I was shocked, I’ve never... I don’t usually deal with stuff like this, either.” He said and looked down. “I’m sorry.”

Jimmy didn’t answer, he just stared at his hands that were resting on top of the sheet, one wrapped up in bandages with a makeshift cast. Robert sighed and sat on the bed again, resting his hand gently on Jimmy’s. 

“I meant what I said. It changes nothing. What they did to you says nothing about you, only about them. They’re monsters, you’re not at fault.” He said. 

“Even though I’m just a whore?” Jimmy whispered. 

“You’re not. Even if you wanna think like that, it doesn’t give them the right to do that to you. They had no right to hurt you. They had no right to touch you. The fact that you had to sell your body to make money, to live, doesn’t give them the right, either. Your body is yours, and only yours.” Robert said and squeezed his hand gently. “Please don’t say you’re ‘just a whore’. You’re so, so much more than that.”

“Then why did you always get so angry whenever you remembered what I am? When we were hanging out, I mean.” Jimmy asked sadly.

“Oh Jimmy... because I don’t like that you had to do that. I never judged you for it, but... I didn’t like it. I didn’t like to think about you doing those things with those men, for money, but I never thought any less of you for it.” Robert answered. “It doesn’t define who you are. Neither does what happened yesterday.” 

“Then... please don’t treat me any differently. I’m not fragile or broken all of a sudden.” Jimmy said, glancing up to meet Robert’s eyes. 

“I know. Franky, I don’t think I’ve ever met somebody as strong as you.” He said. “Your life is so tough, yet, every time I met you, you still had a smile on your face, even after a long, hard day in the rain. I don’t know how you manage. I wouldn’t last a day.” 

“You get used to it.” He whispered and turned his hand a little to take Robert’s in his own. “See, we’re already holding hands again and you haven’t even bought me dinner, yet.” He said and Robert saw that tiny hint of a cheeky smile on his bruised face again. His stomach did a somersault and he smiled back, squeezing his hand a little.

“Good thing I brought some, then.” John decided to ruin their moment and Jimmy looked up at him. “Mo insisted that I bring some soup for the two of us, too, Robert.” 

He had a tray with three steaming bowls, two of them had a thicker soup with vegetables and little noodles, one of them had a simple broth and next to each of them, there was a piece of bread. He carefully put the tray on the bed, on top of the sheets that covered Jimmy’s thighs.

“Can you eat like this or shall I help you?” He asked. 

“I’ll manage. Thank you.” Jimmy said and gingerly picked up his spoon. He couldn’t pick up his bowl because his other hand was useless right now, but it’d work nevertheless. 

“Alright. If your stomach doesn’t rebell too much against the broth, we can try a bit of soup next.” John said and picked up his bowl, starting to eat as well. Robert followed suit. Jimmy tore off a piece of bread and dipped it into the broth, eating it slowly. He had to stop for a bit after a while and fight a wave of nausea, but then he managed to eat the rest of it as well as two spoonfuls of Robert’s soup. 

“I think the painkiller’s wearing off.” Jimmy said with a pained grimace once they were done.

“I’ll give you some more, a stronger one that’ll last longer.” John said and went to rummage through the bag he brought from the hospital. “This one contains morphine, it’ll make you sleepy, too.”

“Oh, dishing out the good stuff, huh, Doc?” Jimmy grinned and John laughed in surprise. 

“Don’t get used to it.” He warned as he gave Jimmy the injection. He helped him lie back down, removing the additional pillows they had used to prop him up earlier. “Sleep. Call if you need anything, we’ll leave the door ajar, alright?”

“Alright.” Jimmy agreed and snuggled into the pillows. He was already dozing off by the time Robert and John had gathered their used dishes and made to leave the room.

“I can see why you like him so much. He’s a fierce one.” John commented once they were in the kitchen. “You always had a thing for cheeky brunettes, didn’t you?” Robert socked him in the arm playfully.

“Shut up. He’s just... an amazing human being. I was... fascinated with him right from the start.” He said. “How does he deal with these things so easily, Jonesy? I don’t get it.”

“He’s obviously been through a lot. He’s seen a lot, he probably has a ton of coping mechanisms and walls built up. I’m sure there’s more going on inside than what he lets on.” John explained. “He may still be in shock, mentally speaking, he might not have fully realized what happened yet. It could still get ugly, even if he seems fine, now.” 

“God, I hope it won’t.” Robert sighed. “I hope he’s gonna be fine.”

“Physically, he will. He actually seems to be recovering remarkably quickly. I’m not a psychologist, though, I don’t know much about helping him deal with this mentally.” John said. 

“Me neither. I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it, huh?” Robert answered. 

“Yeah... look, I know you don’t want to, because you don’t want him to get in trouble, but... I think we should take this to the police.” John then said and Robert looked at him for a moment, then sighed and rubbed his face. He was getting tired and he didn’t want to think about it anymore.

“I know we should. I want those bastards in jail more than anything, but... Jimmy would never forgive me if he ended up in jail instead.” He said. “It’s not just the prostitution, John... I found drugs in his backpack, too, he stole money from my wallet and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only person he ever stole from. I don’t want to get him in trouble.”

“Right... the thing is... I was able to get some samples... of... well... you know. DNA, basically. They may be able to find those guys.” John said with difficulty. Robert grimaced at the thought, then nodded. 

“You’re probably right. Let’s talk about it again later, or tomorrow, alright? We should talk to Jimmy about this, too. This is about him, after all.” Robert said. “I need a nap. We’ve been up for way too long. Go home, Jonesy, rest for a while. I’ll call you if we need you, alright?” 

“Are you throwing me out?” John asked, mock-offended. 

“Yes! You’ve done enough. Thank you so much, for everything, but now, you need some time for yourself and your family.” Robert said gently. John chuckled.

“You’re probably right. Promise you won’t hesitate to call if you need anything? If you don’t call, I’ll come over again this evening, I’ll need to check on him, change the bandages and all that...” The smaller man said. 

“Of course.” Robert nodded. “Again, thank you. So much. I don’t know what I would have done without you.” He added and gave the doctor a quick hug.

He saw his friend to the door, then briefly went back upstairs to peep into Jimmy’s room. The boy was sleeping soundly and Robert was exhausted as well, so he went to his own room next door and fell face-first into bed for a much needed nap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm going to introduce a new character (well, not 'new' new, we know him) in the next chapter :) or two. We'll see. We have to get those rapists convicted, right?


	5. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy wants to be clean, so Robert helps him. Jimmy quickly notices how much Robert likes him, and he's more than happy about it.   
> The next morning, two scary looking men show up at Robert's doorstep.

It was dark by the time Robert woke up. He stretched and snuggled back into his pillows for a moment, before he realized that what had woken him up was the sound of the shower. 

It took his sleep-heavy brain a moment to catch up, and when it did, he was out of bed in a heartbeat, rushing to the bathroom. Jimmy must have gotten up by himself and Robert was scared he’d hurt himself by mistake, the strong painkillers in his system preventing him from feeling if something was wrong. 

He opened the door to the bathroom and sure enough, Jimmy was there. 

He was naked except for the bandages on his body, which were now wet and useless. He was kneeling on the floor in the shower, letting the water rain down on him as he leant against a wall for support. He’d obviously tried washing himself, but either he couldn’t reach properly or it was too painful and exhausting, so he’d given up and just sat there.

“Oh, you silly boy, what did you do...” Robert whispered to himself as he saw Jimmy and quickly made a decision. He sighed and went into the shower as well, not caring that his pyjama (the same one he’d been wearing since last night, when Jimmy rang his doorbell) got soaking wet.

He cursed when he noticed how cool the water was. It wasn’t completely cold, but way too cool to be comfortable. The brunette was shivering. Robert quickly adjusted the temperature of the water, knowing Jimmy would need some warming up and he couldn’t just switch it off right now.

“Jimmy?... Baby, what are you doing?” Robert asked as he crouched down next to him.

“I... I wanted... I just wanted to be clean.” The boy answered, not looking up at Robert. The blonde sighed again and tried to figure out what to do. John would be back soon, to change the bandages, so this wasn’t all that bad after all. His heart went out to Jimmy because he understood. Of course he’d want to be clean, wash the traces of what they’d done to him off of his body. 

He was tugging at his hair, trying to get the crusty, nasty stuff out of it, but to no avail. He only had one hand he could use and it just wasn’t working. 

“Alright... let me help you. Let me wash your hair, ok?” Robert asked gently.

“You’re all wet now...” Jimmy said, glancing through his curtain of hair at Robert’s wet pyjama. “I’m sorry.”

“It doesn’t matter. I’ll be fine.” Robert said. “Will you let me help you?” He asked again and Jimmy nodded slowly. 

Robert reached for a bottle of conditioner, squirted a generous amount on his palm and started applying it to the matted, dry and crusty parts of Jimmy’s hair to loosen the stuff. He had to hold back from retching when he recognized dried semen next to the dried blood. 

He felt such a strong wave of disgust, anger and hatred inside him at what they’d done, the pain and humiliation Jimmy had to go through, that his hand balled into a fist, trembling with the effort not to punch something. Jimmy flinched and moved away from him a little.

“I’m sorry...” He whispered and Robert gasped when he noticed that Jimmy was scared of him. He’d never wanted to scare the boy and he suddenly felt even angrier, this time, at himself. He took a steadying breath and forced his hand to relax again.

“Fuck, no, Jimmy... I’m not mad at you, please don’t think I am, even for a second... I could never be mad at you...” He said. “I’m angry at them, for doing this to you. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have let it show. It’s not your fault.” 

The brunette raised his head a little to look at Robert, searching his face, before he lowered his head again. He moved a little closer to the blonde again, allowing him to carry on. Once Robert had loosened the worst of it with the conditioner, he gently rinsed it before washing his hair with a generous amount of shampoo, then finished the wash with another round of conditioner.

“There, all done, it’s all gone now.” Robert said when he was done. “Will you... will you let me wash you?” He then asked. He had no idea if that was an acceptable thing to suggest, given the circumstances, but he knew how much the younger man wanted to be clean and it would be very difficult to do on his own. Jimmy looked up at him again, then shrugged and nodded.

“Yeah... why not. It’s not like I can do much with this.” He raised his broken hand a little and sighed. “Can’t move the other arm very well either.” He added and the blonde remembered that it had been the one with the dislocated shoulder. Robert got up to get a new sponge and some shower gel, the same one Jimmy had used when he’d taken a shower here before, the peach scented one. Maybe the familiar scent would be comforting. He then crouched back down. 

“I’ll have to take off those bandages, they’re useless now anyways. OK?” He said and started doing just that, tossing them aside one by one. He left the broken hand with the little cast alone, afraid to hurt Jimmy more. John would have to take care of that when he got back.

He put a little bit of shower gel on the sponge, made a lather and started washing the boy’s neck and shoulders, slowly working his way down his body. He’d stopped shivering thanks to the warm water and let Robert wash him without a complaint, at first. Then Robert noticed him squirming a little, but he didn’t say anything.

“What is it? Am I hurting you?” He asked gently as he stopped washing him for a moment. 

“No... well, it’s just... the sponge is a little rough...” Jimmy admitted, uncomfortable.

“Ah... I’m sorry. Is it... is it ok if I use my hands?” He asked and Jimmy nodded. This definitely wasn’t the way he’d pictured touching Jimmy for the first time, if at all, and it broke his heart, but it needed to be done. The blonde gingerly worked around the various little wounds, some with stitches, some without, doing his best not to agitate them any more than necessary. 

“Please stand up so I can get your legs, too...” He then said and helped Jimmy stand up and started cleaning his legs. He used the sponge again because there were fewer cuts and scratches there. 

He’d avoided the boy’s crotch and behind, unsure how he’d react to being touched there. Robert wasn’t a medical professional, he wasn’t a nurse, he was completely out of his element here and he didn’t know how to proceed. He hesitated when he was done with his legs and Jimmy held out his good hand.

“Give me the sponge, let me finish this.” He said. He’d obviously noticed the blonde’s hesitation and didn’t want to embarrass him further. Robert felt a little bad about not being able to do this for him, but he got up and passed him the sponge.

“Alright... I’ll... I’ll go and put on some dry clothes, I’ll be right back.” He said and left the shower. He quickly took off his wet pyjama, his socks and his boxers and put them in the sink for now, to avoid dripping all over the floor. He went to his room and sat on his bed, taking a moment to compose himself. Seeing and feeling the full extent of Jimmy’s injuries hadn’t been easy and he was a little shaken. 

He took two fresh towels out of a drawer, one to dry himself and another one for Jimmy. He then quickly put on some fresh, dry clothes and took a fluffy white robe out of this wardrobe for the boy before going back to the bathroom. He unfolded the towel and held it in front of his body, gesturing for Jimmy to step out of the shower. When he did, he wrapped the towel around his body, gently drying him. When he was done, he let him slip into the robe he’d brought. 

Jimmy stood in front of him, looking so small and wretched in his big, fluffy robe, and Robert melted once again.

“Sweet baby... it’s alright...” He cooed and moved a little closer, gently wrapping his arms around the boy, always mindful of his injuries. Jimmy leaned against him gingerly, resting the less bruised side of his face on Robert’s shoulder for a moment before looking up at him again. He had a strange expression on his face, he still looked insecure but there was something like awe there, as well, as he looked up at the blonde, and maybe a little... amusement? Robert wasn’t quite sure.

“You called me baby. Twice.” Jimmy whispered and the corner of his lips turned up into a little smile.

“D-did I?” Robert asked. “I didn’t even notice.” He added. He really hadn’t noticed and he wasn’t one to throw around endearments like that like it was nothing. 

“You did. You really like me.” Jimmy said, his smile widening. It wasn’t a question, it was a statement. A fact. Robert felt a strange pang in his chest, the confidence and joy with which the boy said that was absolutely disarming and Robert didn’t quite know how to deal with that. 

“I do.” He confirmed once he found his voice again. He reached up to gently touch Jimmy’s unmarred cheek, brushing a thumb along it. “I really, really do.”

“It’s ok. I really like you, too.” Jimmy confessed, leaning into the touch a little and Robert’s stomach did a somersault again. He couldn’t quite believe this was happening, he didn’t know what to do next, his head was spinning and everything was a little too much right now. He was afraid he was moving too quickly and that he’d scare Jimmy away.

He couldn’t help it, though, and found himself leaning in closer. His nose brushed against Jimmy’s and they both smiled. Robert tilted his head and gently brushed his lips against the boy’s. When Jimmy didn’t pull back, Robert did it again, and this time, Jimmy kissed him back.

It wasn’t the best kiss he’d ever had, hell, it wasn’t even a good kiss at all, the boy’s lips were dry and chapped and his mouth tasted stale from being asleep for so long, Robert didn’t know how to hold him without hurting him and it was all very clumsy and awkward, but damn, it was the most emotional one he’d ever had by far and he loved every second of it.

He could feel the boy’s heart going a million miles an hour as he held him, it felt like a little bird trapped in his chest, or a butterfly, flapping its wings rapidly, and it was so adorable that he wanted nothing more than to squeeze him and cuddle him for the rest of their lives, but of course he couldn’t do that right now.

“This isn’t quite how I pictured my first kiss, but I’ll take it.” Jimmy whispered and looked down. Robert did a double take.

“What do you mean, first kiss?” He asked incredulously. Jimmy blinked at him.

“Well, never had a lot of time for this kind of stuff in my life, you know, and I don’t kiss customers, so...” He shrugged. 

Robert’s racing thoughts came to a screeching halt as he stared at the boy. It occurred to him that he didn’t even know how old, or young, Jimmy was and for how long he’d been living on the street. He’d never had a relationship, he’d never even been kissed before. Robert knew so very little about him and he wanted to ask him all sorts of questions, but he also knew that now wasn’t the right time. 

“I had no idea...” He whispered instead and caressed the boy’s cheek again. “I wouldn’t have... if I had known...”

“Why not? I wanted it, too.” Jimmy said and pecked his lips again. “I’m surprised *you* wanted it, but I’m glad you did. I mean, I know I don’t really look very desirable right now.” Robert looked at him and sighed.

“It doesn’t matter, though. You’re still you and I like you.” He said. “You do realize I’m not letting you go back, right?” He then asked. “I’d never forgive myself if something happened to you again, I... you’re welcome to stay here, with me... whatever this is between us, whatever’s happening right now... you have a safe place here.” Jimmy swallowed thickly and nodded.

“I... I don’t want to go back. I want to be with you. I mean... you’ve seen me at my very worst... and yet, you like me. It can only get better from here, right?” He said and leaned into Robert again, closing his eyes as he rested his forehead against the other man’s shoulder. “I just don’t want to be a burden.” 

“You’re not... I promise, you’re not. I love having you around.” Robert said and gently caressed his back. “I have this big house all to myself and... when you’re here, it doesn’t feel quite that big and daunting and I don’t feel so lonely.”

Jimmy looked up at him, then, and he had that crooked little smile on his face again before he leant in once more to kiss Robert again. The blonde happily kissed him back and held him gingerly, careful not to hurt the boy’s broken ribs.

“Oops. Well, this is new.” They broke apart as they heard John’s voice and Robert stared at him for a moment before breaking into nervous laughter. He’d forgotten that John had a key to his place and it felt terribly awkward to have him walk in on them in this situation. “I wasn’t sure whether you’re still sleeping and didn’t want to risk waking you, so I let myself in.” John explained.

“I swear, you have the worst timing...” Robert groaned and rubbed his face. An equally nervous little giggle escaped Jimmy’s lips and Robert smiled at him.

“Sorry... what happened here, anyways?” John asked, his eyes drifting over to the wet bandages in the shower. Jimmy sighed.

“When I woke up, I felt so dirty and disgusting, I couldn’t take it anymore, so I... I got up and got into the shower. I tried to wash up, but... I couldn’t do it. Robert found me and helped me. We had to remove the bandages because I got them all wet. I’m sorry about that.” He explained. 

“It’s alright, I would have had to put new ones, anyway. It’s fine.” John reassured him. “Hmm... Robert, would you please dry his hair? I don’t want him to get cold. I’ll go and prepare the new bandages.” The doctor then said and Robert nodded.

“Sure.” He said and grabbed his blow dryer as John left the bathroom again. “Maybe you should sit down...” Robert said and made to move the little stool he had in the bathroom into the middle of the room, but Jimmy shook his head.

“I’d rather not.” He said uncomfortably. Robert cringed and cursed himself.

“Oh god, I’m so stupid. I’m sorry.” He said quickly. “Ok, just... just stay right there, then.” He said and grabbed a brush as well, then started to dry the boy’s hair. 

It was so thick and long that by the time he was done, his own hair was pretty much dry as well. It occurred to him just how much he loved the boy’s luxurious long hair and how much it bothered him how they had defiled it. John came back into the bathroom with some fresh bandages and the little cast for Jimmy’s fingers he brought from the hospital. 

“How do you feel, how’s your pain level?” The doctor asked Jimmy and the boy shrugged.

“I’ve been better, but the pain’s bearable, actually. Whatever you gave me must still be working.” He said.

“Yes, well, endorphins are quite an effective painkiller, too, you know.” John said with a little smile at both of them and Jimmy smiled back shyly, then looked down at his feet. Robert was pretty sure he was blushing, although he couldn’t see it due to the bruises. John started putting new bandages and band aids on Jimmy’s wounds and frowned.

“What’s wrong?” Jimmy asked worriedly. 

“Nothing’s wrong... it’s just... you’re healing very, very quickly. It’s barely been 24 hours and most of your wounds are already closing nicely. I’ve never seen that before, especially considering how thin and malnourished you are.” John said.

“Hey now, no need to be mean.” Jimmy pouted and the doctor laughed and apologized. “I’ve always been like that. I mean, I’ve always healed really quickly. I don’t really get sick, either. The last time I had a cold... I was just a kid. I think I have a pretty resilient body.” 

“You sure do... you’re very lucky. I think you’ll be right back up on your feet sooner than we thought.” John said with a smile. Robert was glad to hear that. “I mean, the only thing that’ll take longer to heal are the fractures.” 

“That makes sense...” Jimmy sighed as he looked down at his hand.

“It’ll be fine... alright, let’s take that off and get you a new one, ok?” John said, carefully taking the injured hand in his own.

“I’ll go and change the sheets... I’ll find you some clothes to wear, too.” Robert said then, leaving Jimmy and the doctor alone for a bit. His thoughts were still racing, he didn’t know if he was moving too quickly, he barely even knew the boy, and yet, he was so in love. Robert had never been one to believe in love at first sight, but then again, that hadn’t been it, had it? Of course he thought the boy was intriguing right away, but he’d only developed those warm, fuzzy feelings once he got to know him a little more.

John didn’t seem to disapprove of them, on the contrary, actually. Maybe it’d all work out, maybe this was good and Jimmy would be fine. Maybe they were good for each other, he’d be less lonely with Jimmy around and Jimmy wouldn’t have to live on the street anymore. Maybe they’d be happy.

John had his bandages renewed in no time and Robert helped him into some soft sweatpants. He also found a hoodie with a zipper so Jimmy wouldn’t have to lift his arm, the shoulder that had been dislocated was still swollen and hurt. He was then tucked back into bed and had another bowl of soup.

“Could you, maybe, give me something so I can sleep through the night?” Jimmy shyly asked John once he was done. He obviously felt bad asking for that. “I just... don’t want to risk being awake all night and... alone with my thoughts.”

“Baby, I’m right next door, you can call me whenever you need me.” Robert said and squeezed his hand. “I can stay with you and we can talk or something...”

“You need to sleep, too. I don’t want to keep you up.” Jimmy answered. He was probably right, Robert couldn’t help but admit, he was very exhausted as well, both mentally and physically.

“It’s alright, I’ll give you something. Your body needs all the rest it can get.” John agreed. He gave Jimmy two pills and a glass of water before saying his goodbyes and going back home to his family. Robert smiled at Jimmy and bent down to kiss his forehead gently.

“Sleep well.” He whispered and stayed by his side until he was asleep, then he went to bed as well. 

In the morning, he was woken up by his doorbell once again. His body threw him into a fit of panic right away as he was ripped from his dream, images of Jimmy leaning against the doorframe and coughing up blood came back to him right away and he almost jumped out of bed, until he realized that Jimmy was alright, he was safe, sleeping in the room right next to his. 

He took a few deep, steadying breaths before making his way downstairs to open the door. It was probably John who wanted to check on his patient, he thought. He frowned when he saw two tall silhouettes through the glass of his front door. He gulped and slowly opened the door. 

There were two men at his door, one of them balding and easily 6’3” tall, heavy and towering over Robert and the other man, who wasn’t short eather. The other man had shoulder length brown hair, a moustache and aviator-style sunglasses.

“Good morning. Officers Grant and Bonham. We’d like to ask you some questions.” The shorter man said and they both showed him their badges. They eyed him suspiciously as he stood on front of them in his pyjamas with a dazed look on his face. 

It took Robert a few seconds to register what was happening, but then he stepped aside and let them in as he tried to fight down the next surge of panic that threatened to overwhelm him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha! Finally, we have the whole band in the story. I felt awful leaving Bonzo out of it for so long, but now he's here to save the day! Or is he...?


	6. 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Officers Grant and Bonham interrogate Robert and talk to Jimmy and John as well.  
> Robert and Jimmy spend a nice afternoon/evening together, but things go downhill later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys, I had such a tough time writing this chapter, you have no idea! I'm still not 100 % pleased with it, but it is what it is and here it is:

“Morning... sorry, uh, you kinda... uhm... woke me up.” Robert stammered as the two policemen entered his house. They weren’t wearing uniforms, so they must be detectives or something. Were they here for Jimmy? 

“It’s almost noon, Mr. Plant.” The shorter one, Bonham, said, eyeing him suspiciously. Robert didn’t like the way he looked at him, it made him feel even more uncomfortable.

“Is it? Oh shit... I’m sorry... I had a few rough days... and nights.” He groaned and rubbed his face. He was nowhere near ready to deal with this.

“Hmmhm... I can see that. Care to explain the blood in your driveway?” Bonham asked in a threatening voice and Robert’s eyes widened. He’d totally forgotten about that. He wiped his sweaty palms on his pyjama pants and tried to find the right words. He didn’t even know why he was so fucking nervous, he didn’t do anything.

“Fuck... I swear I can explain that, it’s... it’s a long story, though...” Robert stammered again, wringing his hands nervously. He didn’t even know where to start and the very thought that he, somehow, was a suspect in any kind of crime terrified him. 

“So you know why we’re here?” Officer Grant asked. He seemed a lot more laid back than Bonham and Robert nodded at him.

“I... I’m not sure...” Robert answered. He didn’t want to say too much.

“We’re investigating the case of one missing James Patrick Page, also known as Jimmy.” Officer Bonham said. “I have a sneaking suspicion you know exactly where he is.” 

“Yeah, he’s here, he’s with me. He’s upstairs.” Robert said quickly. “He’s fine. I mean, he’s fine now. He’s injured, but I had a friend take care of him.” The two policemen exchanged a look. “The blood in the driveway... it’s his...”

“Well, we didn’t expect to find him so easily.” Bonham said, sounding slightly surprised. “Or for you to admit you’ve got him.”

“Am I right in assuming that you did not cause his injuries?” Officer Grant asked gently and Robert quickly shook his head. The very thought made him feel sick.

“Of course I didn’t! I’d never hurt him! I swear I have nothing to do with it.” He said defensively. “He showed up at my door, coughing up blood. I didn’t know what happened, then.”

“You do now, though? You were able to talk to him?” Grant prompted. He felt like they were playing good cop, bad cop with him, although Bonham was silent for now. He obviously hated being wrong about Robert.

“Yes. He passed out the night he showed up like that, so I called my neighbor. He’s a friend and he’s a doctor. I panicked because he was so hurt and I didn’t know what to do and ambulances take so long to get here, so I called him. He took care of Jimmy.” Robert explained. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I... We don’t know exactly what happened, just that he was... he was beaten up badly and... he was raped. We didn’t really talk to him about it, yet.”

“And you didn’t think to report this to the police?” Bonham asked suspiciously and Robert didn’t quite know how to answer. 

“I... no, I just... I was so worried about Jimmy and I didn’t think...” He stammered. He didn’t know how much they knew about Jimmy and he didn’t want to give it away, either.

“Mr. Plant, we know about Mr. Page’s... profession and that you’ve paid him and taken him home several times.” Bonham said with very obvious disgust in his voice. “So for god’s sake, please spare us with your stammering and tell us what happened!” 

“I... I didn’t... I never touched him!” Robert glared at him. “I felt sorry for him, so I gave him money and offered him my guest room! That’s all.” He added and Bonham huffed, shaking his head. He obviously didn’t believe him.

“Alright... we’re going to have to talk to the boy, and to the doctor.” Officer Grant said, silencing his younger colleague just as he was about to say something else.

“Please let him sleep for now... he needs all the rest he can get. Let me call John first.” Robert pleaded and the policemen nodded their agreement, although Bonham looked fairly pissed off for having been cut off like that. The blonde got up to get his phone and dialed John’s number.

“Hey... I need you over here...” He said with a sigh. 

“What happened? Is Jimmy ok?” John asked.

“Yes, he’s fine, he’s still asleep, but... remember we said we have to take this to the police, yesterday? Well, the police came to us, I guess. Two officers showed up, looking for Jimmy. I told them what happened and they want to talk to you.” He explained. 

“Alright, I’ll come over.” John said and hung up. 

“He’ll be here right away.” Robert told the officers. “Uhm... would you like some tea?” He offered awkwardly, but they just thanked him and shook their heads, so they sat in the living room awkwardly and waited for John.

Before John even made it over, Robert heard some unsteady footsteps coming down the stairs and Jimmy peeked around the doorframe.

“Robert...? What happened, I heard voices... oh.” He said sleepily before his eyes widened as he saw the other men. 

“Jimmy! Baby, why did you get up on your own, you’re not supposed to...” Robert said, rushing to his side to support him. 

“I’m fine... who is this?” Jimmy asked, entering the living room as he eyed them curiously, but suspiciously. 

“I’m Officer John Bonham, this is my colleague Officer Peter Grant.” The shorter man introduced them brusquely and Jimmy’s eyes widened again. He took a step backwards. 

“It’s alright, my boy, we were looking for you. You were reported missing. Don’t you worry, you’re the victim here, not the suspect.” Grant said with a smile while Bonham looked Jimmy up and down with obvious disdain.

“M-missing? But who...?” Jimmy stammered. Robert gently took his good hand and squeezed it lightly, trying to reassure him.

“Your friends. We knew it was serious when a group of 5 boys, obviously hustlers, showed up at the precinct.” Officer Grant said. “They usually avoid us, you know, but they were so worried when you didn’t show up for several days and they couldn’t reach you, that they came to us anyway.” 

That actually made Robert smile. As awful as Jimmy’s life had been until now, at least he always had people who cared about him, obviously. 

“They did...? Oh God... my phone died a few days ago... they had no idea.” Jimmy whispered. “Please let them know I’m alright... are they in trouble?” He then asked, chewing his lower lip worriedly. Officer Grant shook his head and smiled at Jimmy.

“No. Obviously we’re going to offer them help, to get them off the street, but they are not in trouble, don’t you worry.” He said and Jimmy breathed a sigh of relief. “We’d like to talk to you about what happened, if that’s ok.”

“I... yeah...” He said, then glanced at Robert. He obviously noticed just how stressed the other man was. “They didn’t... they didn’t think *you* did this, did they?” He asked and Robert shrugged.

“I think they did.” He said with a sigh.

“What the... Robert would never hurt me!” Jimmy said. “He’s the only one who’s ever treated me right!” He added passionately and took Robert’s hand in his own. The blonde couldn’t help but smile. The policemen exchanged a look, but didn’t comment.

Both Robert and Jimmy jumped as the doorbell rang. 

“That’s John, I asked him to come over.” Robert explained at Jimmy’s alarmed look. “Go sit with the officers, baby, I’ll let John in.” He added as Jimmy made no move to let go of his hand. Reluctant, Jimmy let go and went over to the sofa, gingerly sitting down. He shifted a little, folded his legs underneath him and grabbed a pillow to hug against his chest. 

Robert tore his eyes away from him and the way Officer Bonham was looking at him to open the door. He let John in and they joined the others in the living room again. Jimmy looked up at Robert, then over at the policemen and sighed.

“I’ll talk, I’ll tell you everything I remember, but... Robert, don’t get me wrong, I don’t... I don’t want you here right now.” He said, then cringed. “That came out wrong, I just... I don’t want you to hear this.” He said, biting his lip again. Robert smiled and crouched down in front of him, gently taking his hand again.

“That’s alright, I understand. I’ll be in my office, I have some stuff to do anyway... you know where it is, if you need me, ok?” He said and the boy nodded. Robert got up again and made to leave, but then bent down and pressed a gentle kiss to Jimmy’s forehead before leaving the room´, not without shooting a glare at Officer Bonham.

If he was completely honest, he was glad that Jimmy asked him to leave. He really didn’t want to hear more, he really didn’t need to know any more than what he already knew. He trusted Jimmy and John to tell the officers everything they needed to know to put whoever had done that to Jimmy in jail. He didn’t need to know the details, nor did he want to, and he understood why Jimmy didn’t want him to, either.

He went to his office and booted up his computer. It had been the weekend, so only a few emails that needed answering greeted him and he quickly emerged himself in his work. He also cancelled each and every appointment he had in the following two weeks. Jimmy needed him way more than his clients. Luckily, he had people who worked for him and there weren’t all that many things that needed his immediate attention. 

He mailed his assistant that he was going to take it easy for a while and not come into the office much but that he could reach him by phone or email whenever he needed him. He didn’t really provide an explanation, other than needing some time for himself. Luckily he always had the option to work from home. 

Quite a while later, John knocked on the door to his office and asked him to come back as the officers had some more questions for him. He joined them again and answered their questions, they just needed him to confirm a few things. 

“Alright... well, we have quite a few leads. I promise we’ll find them and they will be prosecuted.” Grant told Jimmy once they were done and the boy nodded, staring down at his hands in his lap. “We’re going to take you to the hospital now for a check-up and then you can move into your room at the asylum.” 

“W-what?” Jimmy gasped, staring at them. “No! I want to stay with Robert!” He said and reached for Robert’s hand, clutching it tightly. 

“You can’t stay here, we need to make sure you’re ok. You’re way better off at the asylum, they know how to deal with cases like you.” Bonham spat. Jimmy glared at him and held Robert’s hand more tightly.

“I’m not a case! I’m a person! You can’t make me go there!” He spat in turn. Robert caressed his hand soothingly.

“I assure you he’s safe and well taken care of with me. I’m self employed, I have my own firm, I can work from home, he won’t be alone.” He said, trying to stay calm. “I promise I’ll take good care of him.”

“I can confirm that he’s much better off here. I’ll be around to check on him, too.” John said.

“We have orders. We have to take him to the asylum.” Bonham said and Robert could tell he was getting impatient.

“I’m not going. I’m staying here.” Jimmy insisted, still glaring daggers at the policemen. Grant sighed.

“Maybe he’s right, Bonzo.” He told his collegue. “He obviously wants to stay here, making him go there might be too stressful for him right now.” 

“We have orders, Peter!” The younger officer bellowed and Robert felt Jimmy flinch next to him. He moved a little closer and wrapped an arm around his shoulder protectively. “He HAS to be moved to the asylum for social reintegration!” 

“Look at him, Bonzo. He’s in no shape to go anywhere, he’s terrified. Leave him alone. Let’s focus on finding whoever did this to him. He’s going to be fine here.” Grant said and Robert was grateful. Bonham sighed and shook his head. 

“You’re getting soft in your old age, Grant.” He said and glared at them all before getting up and marching out of the room. 

“Sorry about that.” Grant sighed. “He’s young and he doesn’t always know when it’s the right time to be 100% correct and when it’s better not to follow every order.” He said. “I’ll try and convince him to leave you alone. Now, here’s my number in case you remember anything else that might help us, alright?” He added and passed them a little card with his details. 

“I think I told you everything, but if anything else comes to mind, I’ll call you...” Jimmy said. He sounded drained by now. 

“We’ll be in touch. Dr. Jones, the samples?” He then asked and John nodded.

“Of course. They’re at my place, if you wanna just come along right quick...?” He said. John and the officer said their goodbyes and left. Robert physically felt Jimmy deflate next to him as he relaxed.

“Fuck... that was... that was so fucking tiring.” He said and rested his head against Robert’s shoulder. The blonde turned around a little and carefully wrapped his arms around the boy, holding him close.

“It’s all over now, you won’t have to talk about it again if you don’t want to...” He whispered, rubbing his back soothingly.

“I will. In court.” Jimmy reminded him. 

“True. But that’ll be the last time.” He said and pressed a gentle kiss to the top of Jimmy’s head. “What do you wanna do? Would you like to nap?” 

“No... I don’t know. I don’t want to think anymore, for a while.” Jimmy pouted. “But I’m not tired. What do you wanna do?” 

“Hmmm, for one, I’m starving. I think I’d like to order some food, for a change. We could just stay right here and watch some Netflix? Hey, wouldn’t you like to catch up on Lucifer, watch the first three seasons?” He asked and Jimmy smiled, grateful for the distraction.

“Yeah, that would be nice. Don’t you mind seeing them again, though?” He asked.

“Nah. I almost forgot what happened already, I wouldn’t mind at all. Alright, so we’re gonna order some food and watch Lucifer, that sounds good. Once we’re done eating, we can just snuggle on the sofa and cuddle.” 

“Heh... I’ve never done that before...” Jimmy admitted. “How does that work?” 

“Well, kind of like what we’re doing right now.” Robert said. “You can snuggle up to me and I can hold you, caress you, play with your hair... does that sound good?” 

“That sounds fucking perfect.” Jimmy grinned. “So, what are we gonna eat?”

“Hm, how do you feel? I mean, is your belly gonna be alright with just anything...?” He asked and Jimmy shrugged.

“I get a little queasy now and then, but I should be fine...” He said, putting a hand on his stomach absentmindedly.

“Alright, how about a salad? With some chicken, maybe? Caesars salad?” He suggested. That wouldn’t be too hard on his belly.

“Sure, I’d like that. What are you gonna have?” He asked.

“I think I’ll have some lasagna. You can have some, too, their portions are huge, I won’t be able to finish it on my own.” He said and Jimmy smiled at him again.

“Sounds good. Thank you.” He said and leaned in to peck Robert’s cheek. “I’ll just go brush my teeth while you order, ok?”

“Ok... you know where everything is.” The blonde said and let go of Jimmy. Robert took his phone from the table and ordered their food, then he went to the kitchen to fetch cutlery, some glasses and some water. He’d also ordered a bottle of coke, but he wasn’t sure if it’d make Jimmy feel nauseated and water would be a safe bet either way.

He then went upstairs to get some more blankets and pillows they could snuggle with and ran into Jimmy who just came out of the bathroom.

“Woah, are you planning to move out?” He asked as he saw the amount of blankets and pillows in Robert’s arms. The blonde laughed.

“No, but I’m not planning to move off of that sofa anymore today and I want us to be as comfortable as possible.” He grinned. Jimmy took two of the pillows. 

“Lemme help... well, as much as I can.” He said and followed Robert downstairs. “Huh, you really took care of everything. All we’re missing is an empty bottle so we don’t even have to get up to pee!” Jimmy said as he spotted everything Robert had prepared.

“Oh my god, you’re disgusting!” Robert laughed and shook his head. “You don’t have to go upstairs to pee, by the way, there’s a toilet on this floor, too... just through the corridor here.” He said, pointing.

“Good to know...” Jimmy said as he put the pillows down. 

“I haven’t really shown you the house yet, have I? Do you feel up for it?” Robert offered. Every little bit of distraction would be welcome right now, he supposed. 

“Sure, since I won’t have to move for the rest of the day.” Jimmy winked. Robert put down the blankets and pillows, then looked around, wondering where to start. 

“Well, you do know the kitchen... there’s a pantry over there at the far end... if you’re ever hungry, feel free to raid it, or the fridge.” He winked as he opened the door to the pantry to show Jimmy all the stockpiled food he had there. 

“Woah... were you expecting the apocalypse or something?” Jimmy asked as he looked around at all the cans and stuff. Robert laughed.

“No, but I’m lazy and sometimes, I’ll get so caught up in work, I’ll forget to buy food, so... I try to have a huge stash of convenience food. Don’t worry, I do usually eat fresh food...” He chuckled. “Alright, let me show you my office.” He then added and lead Jimmy through the hallway into his office. 

It was a huge room and every single wall was lined with bookshelves that were filled to the brim. There were books stacked on the floor in the corner of the room and all over the desk as well. There was, of course, a computer on the desk as well. It was a little messy, but Robert liked it that way.

“This is where I spend most of my time, when I’m not in the actual office in town. I do prefer to work from home.” He said.

“That’s... that’s a lot of books.” Jimmy whispered in awe. “You really are lazy, though!” He then quipped as he noticed the little fridge underneath the desk. Robert laughed and scratched the back of his head in embarrassment. 

“I am, I’m not gonna lie.” He said. “It’s just some snacks, energy drinks and a little freezing compartment with ice cream. Sometimes, I need fuel to think.” He admitted. 

“Aww... that’s actually cute.” Jimmy smiled. “I can just imagine you sitting there, brooding over some book with a spoon in your mouth and a pint of ice cream melting in your hand.”

“You have no idea how accurate that is.” Robert mumbled. “Well... if you ever feel like reading... you know where to go.” He added, waving a hand at all the bookshelves. 

“Thanks... I haven’t read a book in years.” Jimmy admitted. “Might give it a try.”

“You’re more than welcome to.” Robert said with another smile. “Want me to show you around upstairs, too?” He then asked, but Jimmy shook his head.

“Sorry, but... this is enough for now, it’s starting to hurt a little more now.” He admitted, resting his good hand on his belly. “I didn’t think standing and walking around for this little would be that hard.” He pouted. 

“Poor baby... let’s go snuggle on the sofa, our food should arrive soon.” Robert said. He felt a little guilty for suggesting a tour of the house in Jimmy’s state. “I’m sorry, I probably shouldn’t have suggested this.”

“It’s alright... I was grateful for the distraction... and I’m grateful you’re not treating me like I’m made of glass.” Jimmy said as he followed Robert back to the living room. He sat in the corner of the sofa, leaning against a few pillows.

“John left some painkillers for you, I think it’s time for you to take another one.” Robert suggested and poured some water for Jimmy before passing it to him, along with a little pill. The brunette thanked him and quickly swallowed the pill with some water.

“I’d really like to hold you, but I don’t wanna hurt you...” Robert said, hesitating. “I mean, if you’d like me to hold you.” 

“You know I would.” Jimmy smiled at him. “Let’s try and find a good position? Just sit down and get comfortable, I’ll find a good spot once you’re settled in.” He suggested. Robert nodded and joined him on the sofa, stretching his legs out on it and leaning back. Jimmy came closer and carefully snuggled up to Robert’s left side. This way, there was no pressure on his broken ribs and he’d be as comfortable as possible.

“This is nice.” Robert said as he wrapped an arm around the boy, carefully resting it on his waist. “Tell me if anything hurts.”

“It doesn’t. It’s perfect.” Jimmy smiled as he rested his head on Robert’s chest. “Robert...? Is it... is it wrong for me to not feel bad?” He then asked in a small voice.

“What do you mean?” The blonde asked as he started to caress the Jimmy’s hair gently.

“I mean... I just don’t. Feel bad, that is. I mean, aside from the pain, I don’t feel bad, I just feel... like everything is going to be fine. I feel like... maybe now it’s time for me to... turn my life around, like now is the time and it’s gonna happen and I’m going to be happy, finally.” Jimmy explained. “I feel full of hope and... like I want to do things. You know, go back to school or get a job... a real job. I want to change. I haven’t felt like this in years.” 

“Why would that be bad, though? That sounds wonderful.” Robert said and kissed Jimmy’s head gently, inhaling the peachy scent of his hair. 

“Shouldn’t I feel horrible, though? About what they did to me? Shouldn’t I be... scared? Shouldn’t I have flashbacks and all that?” Jimmy asked. 

“I... I don’t know. I don’t think it’s same for everybody, though. I think everyone reacts differently and feels differently about that.” Robert said. 

“It feels as if... it didn’t even happen. I can feel that physically, I’m injured, sure, but... in my head it’s like it’s not even real, like nothing happened and it’s all... so far away.” Jimmy sighed.

“Hmm... maybe that’s your way of protecting yourself?” Robert suggested. “You’re focussing on the good stuff that’s happening to you rather than the bad. I don’t think that’s a bad thing. You have me now, someone who cares about you and wants to help you.”

“Maybe it’s that, yeah... I’m just worried... that it’ll come back to hit me square in the face some other time.” Jimmy said. “I’d rather just feel bad about it now and get over it.” 

“Maybe you should talk to someone. I mean, someone who can actually help with stuff like this, a psychologist.” The blonde suggested. Jimmy made a face.

“Right. As if I don’t have enough people judging me, all day, every day, already.” He pouted. 

“You don’t have to, it was just an idea.” Robert reassured him. “I really don’t think they’d judge you, though...” 

“You have no idea. That asylum they talked about earlier, by the way? Those are horrible, all they do is brainwash you to think you’re horrible and dirty... most of them are religious, too, and those are even worse. Social reintegration my arse!” Jimmy huffed. “They just try to break us and make us a good, compliant little sheep that follow the rest of the herd. We’re just supposed to function, as a ‘normal’ member of society. They don’t care about us.” 

“I had a suspicion it’s something like that, yeah...” Robert sighed. “You won’t have to go there, though. I’ll do everything I can to make sure you won’t.” He added. 

“I know... I’d sooner run away than go there.” Jimmy shuddered. 

“Please don’t... even if they threaten to take you there again, please don’t run away. I promise I won’t just let them take you there.” Robert said, tightening his hold on the boy a little. 

“Well, for now, I’m very comfortable where I am.” Jimmy smiled and nuzzled Robert’s chest a little before looking up at him again. “I wanna kiss you again.” 

“Then do so.” Robert smiled down at him. He closed his eyes as soon as Jimmy’s lips touched his. He hummed appreciatively and smiled into the kiss. This one was so much better than their first one and he deepened it, coaxing a happy little sound out of Jimmy as well as their tongues tangled. 

“Hmm... yes. I like kissing.” Jimmy decided once they broke apart for a moment and flashed him a cheeky grin before pressing his lips to Robert’s once again. “I fucking love kissing.” He added, then made a very disgruntled sound as the doorbell rang. “Why do people keep insisting on interrupting us?” 

“Aww... we have all the time in the world later...” Robert said, amused at how offended Jimmy seemed. “Aren’t you hungry? I know I am!” 

“I am... I just hope there’s no garlic in my salad dressing!” He pouted as he sat up to allow the other man to get up to open the door. Robert laughed.

“As if that could keep me from kissing you silly later!” He called as he made his way to the door. Jimmy’s answering giggle made his stomach do that stupid little flip again and he shook his head at himself. He accepted the food from the delivery guy and paid, then made his way back to the boy.

“Oooh, smells delicious. I didn’t even notice how hungry I was.” Jimmy said. 

“We did kinda skip breakfast, thanks to those asshat officers.” Robert sighed. “I can’t believe they thought... that I’d... hurt you!”

“Don’t take it personally... all they knew was that I was missing and that there’s blood in the driveway of the guy I was last seen with.” Jimmy said, putting his hand on Robert’s shoulder soothingly. 

“I guess. Doesn’t make it better. At least one of them seems to be a decent guy. Bonham’s an asshole.” He huffed.

“That, he is.” Jimmy agreed as he reached for his cutlery and the plastic bowl with his salad. “During the... well, interrogation, I suppose... he kept trying to suggest that it really wasn’t rape, that actually it was more like theft, because they didn’t pay.” He then added and Robert almost dropped his food. 

“What?? What a jerk! Motherfucker!” He said. “Bloody hell, why was he even assigned this case? You’re not a thing, you’re a person!” Jimmy shrugged.

“I don’t know what his problem is. Judgmental bastard. At least Grant is nice and he seems like he actually wants to find those guys...” He said. Robert shook his head once more in disbelief, then decided to let it go for now and switched on the TV. He started the show, the very first episode, just like he’d promised Jimmy and sat back again, starting to eat his lasagna.

“Wanna try some?” He asked and offered a forkful to Jimmy, who eagerly accepted. By the time they were done eating, Jimmy had eaten more of his lasagna than Robert, but he couldn’t care less. He was happy that the boy was obviously feeling better and his stomach didn’t bother him anymore. 

“Oh fuck... I’m sorry. I was so goddamn hungry!” Jimmy groaned as he realized how much he’d eaten. He blushed and lowered his eyes. “I’m gonna eat you out of house and home.” 

“Aww, baby, don’t worry about it... I’m just glad you’re feeling better. You have no idea how happy it makes me to see you eat.” He said and carefully pulled the small brunette back into his arms. “You heard what the doctor said last evening.” 

“Am I really that scrawny?” Jimmy pouted. 

“Well... you are very, very skinny. That doesn’t make you less gorgeous, though.” Robert said and Jimmy playfully swatted at his arm, but smiled at him nevertheless. “We just want you to be healthy, that’s all.” 

“You must still be hungry, I ate all your food...” Jimmy was still pouting.

“You didn’t eat all of it and I’m not hungry anymore. I told you I can’t finish it on my own anyway. I’m perfectly fine.” He said and kissed those pouty lips again. Jimmy basically melted against him and kissed him back, seemingly forgetting about being upset. Robert made a mental note to remember that, just in case he ever needed it again.

They almost forgot about the TV as they got lost in the kiss, Jimmy shifting closer and closer to him until he was almost in Robert’s lap. The blonde wrapped his arms around him and Jimmy hissed sharply.

“Oww... ribs. Careful.” He said as Robert immediately let go of him. 

“Shit, sorry...” He said with a cringe. “We should take it easy, you are in no shape for any of this...” He added. He felt awful for hurting Jimmy. 

“No... no, I’m fine, please...” The boy pleaded and Robert melted again. “It feels so nice when you kiss me, just... don’t squeeze me?” 

“Alright... I’ll be careful.” Robert said, gently resting his hands on the boy’s skinny hips instead. “It’s just... I’m afraid I’ll get carried away again.” Jimmy studied him for a moment.

“You’re afraid you’ll want more and I can’t do that right now.” He whispered after a while. Robert bit his lip, then nodded.

“I... yeah. I’m sorry.” He admitted. 

“What if I want more, too, though?” The boy asked. “I mean, I can do stuff, I just can’t...”

“Shhh... Jimmy, you are nowhere near ready for any of that... we need to slow down. It’s only been two days, baby. You may heal quickly, but not *that* quickly. Let’s just slow down and allow you to heal.” Robert said gently. Jimmy huffed in annoyance.

“I... I know that you’re right... doesn’t mean I like it.” He said. He slowly slid back on the sofa and snuggled up to Robert again, resting his head on his chest like he did before. The blonde gingerly wrapped his arm around him again, much more carefully than before. 

“Jimmy? I meant to ask... I’ve been wondering for a while now, since we first met, actually... how old are you?” It took a lot of courage out of Robert to finally ask, he’d been so afraid of asking Jimmy any kind of personal question. He feared he’d upset the boy, spook him, scare him away or make him angry. To his surprise, Jimmy didn’t seem to mind the question. 

“Huh? Oh. I’m 19.” He said as he toyed with one of the buttons of the other man’s shirt. Robert’s stomach sank.

“Fuck. I’m so going to hell. I kissed a teenager.” He groaned. Jimmy actually laughed. 

“I’m pretty sure you’ll get away with it, considering how much you’ve done for me, without asking for anything in return.” He said. “How about you, how old are you?” 

“Uhm. 31.” Robert said, uncomfortable. The age gap between them made him feel like some kind of predator. 

“Heh, that’s kinda hot, you know?” Jimmy grinned at him cheekily and Robert groaned again.

“No. No, it really isn’t. I feel like a dirty old man.” He complained. 

“Well, then you’re *my* dirty old man.” Jimmy said and pressed a little kiss to Robert’s jaw. “Besides, I’ll be 20 in a few months, it’s alright.”

“That doesn’t make it better.” Robert sighed. “Well, at least you’re not underage.” 

“You... you’re not gonna send me away now, are you?” Jimmy asked insecurely, doubts rising in him at Robert’s reaction to his age. Robert blinked at him in surprise.

“What? No! Hell no, I couldn’t, even if I wanted to. I fear you’re stuck with me, for now. Well, at least for as long as you want to be. I don’t care how young you are, you already stole my heart.” He said, caressing Jimmy’s hair again. “Will you tell me your story, one day? How you ended up on the street, I mean?” He then asked. The boy looked up at him, searching his eyes, then nodded slowly.

“Yeah... one day. I will.” He said. “I mean... you kinda deserve to know, since you’re putting up with me despite everything. But right now, I... I don’t think I’m ready, yet.”

“That’s ok. Take your time. I won’t ask again, I’ll let you decide when you’re ready, ok?” Robert said. Jimmy smiled.

“Stop being so fucking perfect.” He said and nuzzled his chest again. “Thank you.” He then whispered, then turned his attention back on the TV. Robert knew the time for big, important conversations was over for now and that Jimmy needed to rest. He probably just wanted to stop thinking about everything for a while and just... be. 

They stayed on the sofa all day, just like Robert had predicted, neither of them wanting to move except for the occasional pee-break. They managed to watch the entirety of the first season of Lucifer and start the second one as well before Jimmy fell asleep on Robert’s chest. The blonde didn’t have the heart to wake the sleeping angel, so he simply made a mental note where to start watching again the next day and left the TV running. It didn’t take long for him to fall asleep, either.

They were woken up by John who dropped by later that evening to check on Jimmy.

“Oooww... fuck... falling asleep on the sofa was a bad fucking idea.” He groaned as he sat up. “Bloody hell, that hurts!” 

“Poor baby... it’s been a few hours since your last painkiller, too.” Robert reminded him while John cringed in sympathy. He let Jimmy take his pill and gave it some time to kick in before he started exchanging his bandages.

“Very nice... some of the bruises are starting to fade already.” He nodded to himself. “Alright, Jimmy, I’d like to take some blood if it’s ok with you? I’d like to run a few tests, just to make sure...” 

“Huh? Oh, you mean... for STD’s? No need, I was always careful, I always made them use a condom.” Jimmy said with a shrug. John blinked at him. 

“Jimmy... you never know... condoms aren’t completely safe either and... those guys, they didn’t...” He stammered, unsure how to bring it up. Jimmy’s face fell.

“Oh.” He said and looked down. “Right. Ok.” He said, sounding utterly defeated. He let John take a sample without another word.

“I’m gonna have a full screening done, too, you know. I’ve never had one done, it’s probably for the better...” Robert said, trying to cheer him up. Jimmy stared at him for a moment before tears shot into his eyes.

“What?! Just because you fucking kissed me you think you’re... you’re... what, contaminated, all of a sudden?” He spat angrily. 

“Wha-... Jimmy, no, that’s not what I meant, I’m sorry... it’s not that!” Robert said quickly. “I didn’t mean it like that! I know I can’t catch anything from kissing you, holy shit!” 

“Then why did you say that?? You’re disgusted by me!” Jimmy sobbed and got up from the sofa. He tried to leave the living room, to go back to the guest room he usually slept in, but he only made it to the doorway before he collapsed, slowly sinking to the floor. “Ow... fuck.” He gasped, then sobbed again. Robert was by his side in the blink of an eye.

“Baby, I’m sorry... I honestly didn’t mean it like that...” He said and tried to put his hand on Jimmy’s shoulder, but the boy shrugged it off.

“Fuck off!” He spat. “How... how do you manage to make me feel... so fucking good for a few moments and then... you make me feel like the most disgusting, dirtiest fucking whore in the world?” He asked and Robert didn’t know what to say. Of course Jimmy got upset, he had every right to, for all it’s worth it DID look like Robert thought very little of him.

“Jimmy, this is all my fault.” John said. “I told Robert he should get tested as well, it’s my fault, not his. He doesn’t think you’re dirty or sick. I told him he should get the screening done and get on PEP as well because... because... well, he got your blood all over him, that night, and I... just wanted to be sure.”

Jimmy wiped some tears off of his face and glared at John. 

“Do you even know anything about HIV?” He asked. “How stupid are you? That’s... that’s just not how it works! Do you know anything about it? Do you have friends out there who have it? No! Then shut the fuck up!” 

It dawned on Robert only then that Jimmy probably did have friends in the scene that were HIV positive and that’s why he’s freaking out that much.

“Jimmy, please calm down... look... even if... even if... I mean, it’s 2018, it’s not a death sentence anymore, you know that.” He argued. 

“I know that. Do you?” He asked with another icy glare. Robert sighed, he had to fight back against the anger rising in him. Jimmy didn’t deserve to be yelled at, even if he was being unreasonable. Robert knew that none of this would be easy, but it also wasn’t Jimmy’s fault. He knew that the boy would always fear being judged, being thought of as nothing but a filthy whore, no matter how often Robert told him otherwise.

“I do. If I knew nothing about this, would I have made out with you for, like, half an hour, earlier? Would I have shared my food with you, let you eat from my fork, drink from my glass? I don’t think so, because people who actually don’t know anything about this would have stayed the fuck away from you!” He said. “I know that it’s not like a fucking flu, easily transmittable by a little sneeze or something!”

Jimmy stayed silent and stared at the floor, so Robert sat next to him and carefully pulled him into his arms. 

“I do not think you’re dirty or disgusting in any way, shape or form. I promise.” He said gently. “I think you’re incredibly pretty, smart and funny, you make me laugh all the time, you’re fucking adorable. I understand that you’re scared that I’ll push you away for some reason, but I won’t. I told you, you’re stuck with me now, you won’t get rid of me that easily.”

He felt Jimmy gradually melt into his embrace, he felt a few more sobs wreck his body, but then he slowly calmed down and rested his head on Robert’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry I freaked out.” He whispered. “I’m just so fucking scared that none of this is real, that you’re actually disgusted by me and what... what I used to do... and that you’ll tell me to go away. I don’t want you to push me away...”

“I was honest with you, remember? I told you that I don’t like that you had to do that. But that doesn’t mean that I think you’re disgusting.” He said and kissed Jimmy’s forehead. “Why would I tell you how much I like you, why would I kiss you and hold you close, if I was?”

“I don’t know...” Jimmy said. “I’m sorry I freaked out... I overreacted... I’m sorry I called you stupid.” He then added, looking up at John, who sat on the edge of an armchair, watching them. 

“It’s ok. You weren’t wrong. I was probably being way, way too paranoid. It was stupid to think Robert could have caught something. That was probably just me being too worried about a dear friend.” He admitted. 

“It’s true, though, that I’ve never been tested and I’ve had a few partners in my life... there were one or two people since Maureen, too. You never know.” Robert shrugged. “I’d still like to do it.” It took a few more moments for Jimmy to calm down, but he seemed to realize that Robert did indeed like him and wasn’t put off by him.

The blonde helped Jimmy back on the sofa, wrapped a blanket around him and helped him get comfortable again before he let John take a blood sample as well. They spent the rest of the evening in an awkward silence, Jimmy probably felt strange having overreacted so much, doubting Robert’s intentions and Robert felt insecure as well, he had no idea how to prove to Jimmy that he liked him just the way he was, despite his past.


	7. 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy's still recovering and the two of them grow closer and closer. They get a little visit by Jimmy's friends.

The next two days were spent mostly in the same manner, both of them snuggled up on the sofa, watching Netflix and eating (a lot of) good food. Robert actually got a little worried about gaining weight at some point, but then again, it didn’t really matter, at least not right then. They weren’t at a point in their relationship where he had to worry about what he looked like.

Jimmy still needed a lot of rest, he’d nap a lot even during the day and Robert was more than happy to just hold him close and let him rest in his arms. He used those moments to catch up on his work emails, his laptop sitting on his legs, Jimmy curled up against his side, his head resting on Robert’s chest or his shoulder. 

He even managed to edit a short children’s book that one of his clients had sent only recently. He felt so blessed that he was able to just stay at home and be there for Jimmy while he healed, but still do something for his publishing house.

John came over with a pleased smile on his face on the second day, telling them their test results came back negative, they were both clean and healthy. He did give them an iron supplement for Jimmy because apparently the boy had a severe iron deficiency almost to the point of it leading to anemia. 

John explained that it was one of the reasons he was so tired all the time, but that it’d sort itself out now that Jimmy was eating properly and regularly. The supplement would help deal with it more quickly, as well. He switched to a different painkiller as well, not wanting the boy to develop an addiction. Jimmy didn’t complain. 

His bruises were healing very nicely, by the 5th day after the assault, they had faded from a frightening, dark purple to green and yellow already. There wasn’t much John could do about his broken ribs, they would just have to heal on their own, in their own time, but they didn’t bother Jimmy too much unless he sat in a certain way or otherwise put pressure on them. 

He still needed constant reassurance by Robert that he did indeed want him there, that he did still like him and that he wasn’t disgusted by him, but Robert wasn’t mad at him about that, he understood. He made a point out of telling him as often as possible without sounding like a broken record, kissing him often, holding him close and caressing him gently whenever they were cuddling on the sofa and Jimmy absolutely relished those moments. 

They didn’t hear back from the police except for two phone calls, Officer Grant wanting to ask Jimmy a few questions which the just answered with simple ‘yes’ and ‘no’s. 

That day, they had just snuggled up on the sofa again when the doorbell rang. Robert actually jumped when it did and rolled his eyes at himself.

“I’m gonna develop PTSD, every time the doorbell rings I get anxious.” He huffed as he got up to see who was at the door. Jimmy just smiled at him and gave him a little hug before letting him go. 

When he opened the door, 5 pairs of eyes looked at him curiously and suspiciously and Robert couldn’t help the smile that spread all over his face. He knew that look very well because it was the same one that Jimmy had given him the first two times they’d met. He knew who these boys were right away, even though they made no move to introduce themselves.

He smiled at the shabby looking boys who stood in front of his door, mostly because he was relieved that this time, it wasn’t bad news or anything and because he was glad that Jimmy’s friends cared so much that they’d come all the way over to Kensington to see him. 

“Hi. You’re here to see Jimmy, hm?” He asked and they all nodded. He couldn’t help but chuckle when they nudged the boy who stood in front of the other four, making him speak up. They all looked terribly nervous and the tall, sandy haired boy in the front didn’t look any more confident than the rest of them, but he’d probably drawn the short straw and had to be the one to talk to Robert.

“Uh... yeah... we... we’re his friends... we just wanted to see if he’s ok...?” He said insecurely, stumbling over his words every so often. Robert noticed his strong cockney accent and wondered briefly about Jimmy. He hadn’t really noticed any accent, he couldn’t really tell where Jimmy came from, if anything, he sounded kind of... posh, even, a little like Robert himself, actually. It made him wonder about his backstory again, but he had promised not to nag him about it.

“Well, come on in, then, I’m pretty sure he’s gonna be happy to see you.” He said as he stepped aside to let them in. They reluctantly entered the house, looking around with wide eyes.

“Damn, laddie really struck gold, huh...” One of the boys, a shorter one with a mass of brown curls, mumbled and Robert laughed.

“Robert, who...? Oh.” Jimmy asked as he came out of the living room into the hall to see who had dared to disturb their snuggle-time, as he liked to refer to it. “Hey! What are you guys doing here??” He grinned as he spotted his friends. 

They all stared at Jimmy for a moment, before running up to him to hug him. The brunette squealed in delight and hugged them back, but had to tell them to be careful. They immediately stopped and looked him over worriedly. 

“I’m fine, I’m fine... I mean, I will be. It only hurts a little now...” Jimmy said, a little flustered. “How did you find me here??”

“Uhm, you said the bloke you met is a publisher, right, and that he lived in Kensington, so we did some research and there was only one that fit the description...” The tall one explained with a shrug. “The others were either too old or they were women, so we knew where to go.” 

Robert was a little confused until he remembered that the website of his publishing house still stated his home address instead of the new office in the center of town. He hadn’t gotten around to having it changed, yet, since the firm expanded. He didn’t really mind, Jimmy was obviously happy to see his friends. 

“Why don’t you all get in there and have a seat? How do you feel about a cup of hot chocolate?” Robert offered, ushering them into the livingroom. They all looked at him in surprise for a moment before nodding shyly as they followed Jimmy into the living room. 

Robert left them alone for a bit, giving them some time to catch up while he busied himself making no less than seven cups of hot chocolate, complete with whipped cream and marshmallows on top. When he came back to the living room with the tray, they were talking animatedly, Jimmy was still reassuring them that he was fine. He put the tray down on the table and took his own cup.

“There you go, help yourselves...” He said as he sat back. They shyly took a cup each, except for Jimmy, who went for his a lot more confidently. He took a sip, then grinned at Robert with an adorable little cream-moustache. The blonde couldn’t help himself, he leaned in and licked it off before kissing Jimmy, making him giggle. 

He pulled back and saw the other boys staring at them with wide eyes once again, then he noticed Jimmy’s blush. He silently cursed himself for being so fucking weak, Jimmy probably didn’t want that public display of affection right on front of his friends. They didn’t even know the nature of their relationship, and it occurred to Robert that they didn’t even know where they stood, themselves. They hadn’t talked about it.

“Sorry... I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” He said, hoping he hadn’t embarrassed the boy in front of his friends.

“No, it’s fine... you didn’t.” Jimmy said with a shy smile. 

“Ok, I gotta ask, what do I have to do to get myself a guy like you?” One of the boys asked and this time, it was Robert who blushed. He scratched the back of his head self-consciously as he laughed. 

“I guess you gotta be me.” Jimmy said with a confident little smirk as he snuggled up to Robert. 

“Yeah, look at you... you’ve always been... special. Better than the rest of us.” Another boy said with a sigh, but there was no malice behind it, Robert could tell that he was happy for Jimmy.

“Don’t say that, Daniel... I was just... lucky. For once.” Jimmy said.

“Oh come on. You’ve always been smarter, wittier, prettier, more successful, making more money, getting the better guys...” Daniel said with a smile. “It’s ok, you deserve it.”

“Well... I won’t be snatching the guys away from you anymore in the future.” Jimmy said slowly, looking down.

“Yeah, we figured you’re not coming back.” The last boy, the one that hadn’t spoken up so far, said. “Don’t take it the wrong way, but we’re glad. If anybody deserves to get away from that hellhole, it’s you. You know, Jimmy’s been such a good friend, he’s always made more money than the rest of us, but he’s always helped us out, shared with us when we weren’t so lucky.” The boy then told Robert. Jimmy hid his face in the collar of Robert’s shirt for a moment before turning back towards them with a smile. 

“But what about you...?” He then asked sadly. They shrugged.

“This is our life, Jimmy. It’s alright. We’re gonna be fine.” The tall, sandy haired boy said. “Those cops, they offered to help us, you know. One of them was actually a pretty decent guy. If we wanna get out, we can.” He reassured Jimmy. It wasn’t lost on Robert that apparently, they didn’t actually want things to change, though, at least not right now. 

“If you need anything, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Jimmy’s friends are my friends, too.” Robert offered. He wasn’t quite sure what he was offering, it’s not like he could just keep all 6 of them here at his place, but he wanted to help nevertheless. 

“Thanks, man. We’re alright, we have each other. We’re not doing too badly.” Daniel said with a grin. “We just wanted to make sure Jimmy’s alright, too. We have to look out for each other after all.” 

They spent the better part of the next three hours talking, sipping hot chocolate and eating snacks, Robert was properly introduced to Daniel, Brian, Kevin, Jake and Charlie, he learned a little bit about each of them, but most of the time was spent laughing, joking around and running their mouths at Officer Bonham. Jimmy talked and laughed a lot as well and Robert was happy to see him so animated. 

Jimmy only briefly told them what had happened to him, not going into details at all, only insisting that he was gonna be fine. It was evening by the time they left and Robert almost felt bad for letting them go. Of course he didn’t feel nearly the same way about them as he felt about Jimmy, but he was still afraid something bad was going to happen to them if he let them go back to their lives, but then again, he couldn’t keep them from it, either. 

He told them they were more than welcome to drop by to see Jimmy whenever they wanted and gave them his phone number as well, since Jimmy’s phone didn’t work anymore. 

Jimmy was a little exhausted once they were gone and curled up in his arms for another short nap. Robert wrapped his arms around him and held him close happily. 

The brunette blinked up at him sleepily once he woke from his nap and reached up to play with his hair, pulling at a golden curl to straighten it, then letting go of it and watching it bounce back. Robert smiled down at him and caressed his cheek, he loved these sweet, tender moments just as much as Jimmy.

“Robert...?” He asked softly. “I... I think I’m ready.” 

“Ready? What for?” Robert asked, a little confused. He hadn’t planned anything for the rest of the day. 

“To... to tell you. Remember, you wanted to know what happened to me, why I did what I used to do.” He said. “I think I’m ready to tell you.” 

“Oh. Oh! Of course. I’m ready to listen.” Robert said. He hadn’t actually expected Jimmy to tell him so quickly, but then again, it had been a few days and they had been good days, they’d grown even closer since then. In all honesty, he was a little afraid of what he was going to hear, but he would listen to all of it. In the end, it wouldn’t change anything, he liked Jimmy and nothing he could tell him would change that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's ready to hear Jimmy's story? :)   
> I know this chapter is a slightly shorter one, but I didn't wanna squeeze Jimmy's story into the chapter as well, I think it deserves its own.


	8. 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy tells us his story.

Jimmy just smiled at him sleepily and Robert gently brushed some hair out of his face, then brushed his fingertips along his cheekbone, then along his nose, his lips and his chin. The boy closed his eyes and crinkled his nose, giggling softly.

“You’re too adorable when you’re sleepy, do you know that? You’re so cute.” Robert sighed.

“... ‘m not cute.” Jimmy mumbled sleepily and rubbed his cheek against Robert’s chest.

“Oh yes, you so are.” Robert chuckled. “Are you sure now is the right time to talk?”

“Yes.” Jimmy said softly but firmly. “I want to. I feel good now. I didn’t want to talk to about it when I was already in a bad place.” He explained. 

“I see... alright, then. I’m listening.” Robert said encouragingly. 

“I’m not sure where to start...” Jimmy sighed. “Well, maybe from the very beginning. I was born January 9th, 1999, here in London, although we moved to Epsom when I was very young. I had a pretty normal, nice childhood, I didn’t have any siblings and I didn’t have too many friends, but I didn’t mind, I always had something to do, stuff to play with, books to read... My parents, James and Patricia...” He paused and Robert noticed his voice failing ever so slightly as he mentioned his parents. He also tensed up and grabbed a fistful of the blanket he was covered with.

“It’s ok, baby... you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. Just tell me what you can, you don’t have to tell me everything.” Robert cooed and kissed his forehead gently. He covered Jimmy’s clenched fist with his own hand and felt the smaller hand relax again. He took hold of Robert’s hand instead of the blanket.

“No, it’s fine, I just... I haven’t talked about them in... a while.” The boy sighed. “They were... well, my Mom was a teacher and my Dad was the CEO of a big firm.” He said, then huffed. “I’m talking about them as if they’re dead. I suppose they’re still a teacher and a CEO, they’re just dead *to me*.” He clarified. 

“So... they’re the reason you left home?” Robert asked carefully. Jimmy nodded.

“Yeah, I... they were so rich and posh and very... I don’t know, everything always had to be so very perfect, you know. They always wanted to be this perfect little family that had no problems, where everything was just... normal. They were very religious, too. The kind that would rather die than miss church on a sunday. You know, praying 3 times a day, making everything they ever did about god and religion...”

“Oh wow... yeah... I understand your aversion to those asylum places now. I guess it wasn’t always perfect, I take it...” Robert suggested. Jimmy shook his head.

“No. I was always a little different, you know. I was quiet, didn't make friends easily, they always kinda thought there was something wrong with me, I suppose, but that's just the way I was. I wasn’t unhappy, everything was fine. I was... I think I was 14, or 15... when I made a big mistake.” He sighed heavily.

“You made... a mistake? What do you mean?” Robert frowned. 

“Well, I was a teenager, you know? Teenagers usually start getting interested in the opposite gender, right? I didn’t. I noticed I was more interested in boys than girls. I noticed because I had a crush on a teacher, or when there were rugby or football matches, the other boys would look at the cheerleaders... I’d ogle the players. Of course I didn’t tell my parents, because I knew they would have freaked out. I did everything to keep it from them.” Jimmy sighed. 

He let go of Robert’s hand to run his fingers through his hair nervously. Talking about this obviously stressed him out.

“I had no one to talk to about that, so... I made the mistake... of googling some stuff, about being gay. At home. I had no idea my parents were tracking whatever I was doing on the internet! I thought it was a safe way to learn more about it, to see if I was ok, if it was normal... well, I found out that yes, it’s perfectly fine and normal, but I also found out that my parents were even worse than I thought they were.”

“What did they say?” Robert asked.

“At first, they didn’t say anything. I noticed that something was wrong when... you know, they’ve always been rather... cold, there were never any hugs or ‘I love you’s’ or anything... but at some point, they became even more distant, almost hostile and I didn’t understand why.” Jimmy said sadly. “My Mom stopped talking to me, she’d move away from me whenever I came closer and my Dad just glared at me all the time. One day, I came into the kitchen to have dinner with them and... my Dad sent me back into my room. He said he didn’t want to eat at the same table with an abomination.” 

Robert held his breath for a moment as he tried not to fall into a fit of pure rage. How can a parent call their own child an abomination? He wrapped his arms a little more tightly around the boy. He felt the little sobs shaking his body before he heard them. 

“They started locking me in my room, only letting me out sometimes so I could use the bathroom. They only fed me when they felt it was absolutely necessary. It was the summer holidays, so nobody at school noticed I was missing. I was told to stay in my room and pray. They called the priest and he came over twice a day to try and ‘pray the gay away’.” Jimmy said and Robert noticed he was trembling now. “He would just stand there and chant and pray and tell me how disgusting and wrong I was, what a horrible abomination and I couldn’t get away...” He sobbed. “He tried to get it into my head how bad and wrong I was, he did all sorts of... I don’t even know, exorcisms or something...”

Robert was shocked, he couldn’t even imagine how traumatizing that must have been. He knew that if he ever met those people, nothing would be able to hold him back. He wasn’t a violent person, despite his anger management issues, but in this case, he knew he’d at least throw some punches. How dare they treat their own child like that?

“I knew there was nothing wrong with me. I knew I was ok just the way I am. Nothing that priest could have said would have changed that.” Jimmy whispered. “So they stopped calling him over, when they noticed it wasn’t working.” 

The very thought that this wasn’t the end of the story, yet, scared Robert. 

“My Dad started to try and... to try and beat the gay out of me. They stopped feeding me, they just left me locked in my room, occasionally he’d come in to beat me up.” Jimmy said. Robert felt his tears dampen the front of his shirt by now. He didn’t know what to say or what to do, hearing all of his broke his heart. 

“I’m so sorry, baby...” He whispered and held the boy close. “You’re perfect, just the way you are... I hope you know that...” 

“I do, now.” Jimmy said, nuzzling Robert’s chest. “He did not manage to beat it out of me, although he really, really tried. At first, I refused to give in, you know. But at some point, survival instincts must have kicked in, when they fed me less and less and the abuse got worse, so I started telling them I'm no longer gay, that I had realised I was wrong and that I'd changed. I cried and begged, but they didn't believe me, they didn't stop.”

“How did you get away?” The blonde asked, then. He had a hard time listening to this without starting to cry as well. Coming from a loving, supportive home, it was absolutely mind-boggling to him that there were parents like that.

“At some point... I knew they were going to be away for a while, they had left to visit my grandparents. Of course they didn’t take ‘the abomination’ along. So I knew I had to take the chance. I took apart the frame of my bed and used one of the post to pry open the window to my room. They’d locked it, but I managed to destroy the lock and open it. I would have just smashed it, but then I would have gotten hurt getting out... my room was on the second floor, but luckily the roof of the garage was right underneath my window, so I got out and ran away. Well, I tried. I didn’t really have the energy to run, they hadn’t fed me in days.” 

“Where did you go? Did you tell someone what happened?” Robert asked.

“Well... I couldn’t go to any of the neighbours, because they were just like my parents. They would have just called them and told them I tried to run away.” Jimmy huffed. “So I went to the nearest motorway and hitchhiked to London.” 

“Why didn’t you go to the police, or youth welfare...?” Robert wondered and Jimmy laughed bitterly.

“They wouldn’t have believed me, Robert. You see, my Dad is a very well respected CEO, my Mom a teacher, they were seen as such good people with a perfect little family... they did everything to keep up that charade. They did a lot for the community, the church, charity... My Dad was so careful not to leave any obvious bruises when he beat me, either. Nobody would have believed me that these perfectly good, god-fearing citizens were beating, starving and abusing their child.” He said. 

“Oh fuck...” Robert sighed. “So you really had nowhere to go, huh?” 

“No. I had to disappear. I knew that I had to just... vanish. If they had found me, they would have brought me back to my parents and everything would have started anew. So I went to London, but I didn’t know what to do there, either. I was only 15 or maybe I was 16 already, I don't remember too well now...” Jimmy sighed. “The first few months, I got by just by panhandling on the street... I quickly learned that the more miserable I looked, the more money I’d get. That way, I almost had enough to eat, but I always had to keep moving to avoid being found.”

“I started growing out my hair, to hide behind, mostly. Whenever I saw police, I’d just lower my head so they wouldn’t see my face, I was so scared that my parents had filed a missing person report and they’d find me.” He continued. ”They never did, though.”

“That... that was 3 years ago... so you’ve been homeless for 3 years? What did you do next?” Robert asked. 

“It got harder and harder to get money, for some reason. Maybe because I didn’t quite look like the poor innocent little choir boy anymore, I don’t know, but people gave me less money. I didn’t know what to do until one day...” Jimmy stopped and shook his head. “I mean, you can guess what happened next. I was just lurking around, waiting for someone to toss me a coin or something, and then there was this guy. He’d been watching me for a while, he was really creepy... so after a while, he came over to me and told me he noticed it wasn’t going so well.” Jimmy explained. 

“He said he thought I was really pretty and he’d give me 10 quid if I touched his dick. So I did.” He continued and looked down. Despite everything, he was obviously still ashamed. “I was just so hungry and desperate, I didn’t even think twice. I thought to myself... how bad can it be? I thought... I’m gay, I’m supposed to like dick, right?” 

“Oh no, Jimmy... that was your reasoning?” Robert sighed and rubbed his back soothingly. “I hope you know that that isn’t how it works...” 

“I know. I know, because I didn’t like it. It felt awful. I didn’t want to touch it. He was disgusting and creepy. I was only 16! Luckily, he didn’t even want me to finish him off, he was happy with my hand down his pants for a moment, I got my money, and it was ok. I had enough money to have food for that day and if I was smart about it, the next day. But of course, those 10 pounds wouldn’t last me very long...” Jimmy sighed.

“So you did it again.” Robert said.

“Yeah... I went back to that same street, hoping to find the same guy, hoping he’d offer me money again, but... of course I wasn’t so lucky, so I... I had to offer. I had to go up to guys and ask them if they wanted... you know. It didn’t even take me very long to find a guy who’d let me jerk him off behind the supermarket. Got me another 10 quid.” He said with a shrug. “It just kept going from there, I guess. The first few months, I only did handjobs, but... I needed more money, I was always so hungry, and some guys kept asking for more and I always turned them down, but they offered me more money, so at some point, I just went with it, even though I really didn’t want to. I must have been 17 at that point.”

Robert was at a loss for words, he didn’t know what to say, so he just held the boy even tighter.

“At some point, you stop caring, you know. You stop caring what they do to you, as long as you get money so you can eat. You even stop being disgusted, it doesn’t matter if it hurts, you just do it so you don’t have to go hungry for so long.” Jimmy sighed. “I just got so, so numb to everything after a while, nothing mattered anymore, a cock in my hand, my mouth or up my ass, what’s the difference? I just needed cash.”

“The first time I made more money, I used it to rent a cheap, dirty, old room for a night. It wasn't much but there was a bed and a shower. You have no idea how good it felt to have that again, after such a long time. I mean, there's ways to clean yourself even when you're homeless, but it's not the same.” Jimmy explained.

“I’m so sorry you had to go through that, sweety...” Robert whispered. “I wish I had found you 3 years ago, before you had to do all that...” 

“Me too...” Jimmy admitted and quickly wiped away a stray tear. “But I can’t change the past, so...” He shrugged. 

“But you can shape your future. Everything’s gonna change, now, I promise...” Robert answered and pecked his cheek softly. 

“Yeah... as long as my future has you in it, I’ll be happy.” He said with a little smile, despite the tears still running down his cheeks.

“It will, if you want it to...” Robert smiled back at him. “Shhh, it's ok to cry...” He added and continued to hold him and rub his back soothingly until he finally stopped crying.

“You know... I consider myself a virgin.” Jimmy then said, after a while, and Robert raised an eyebrow.

“You... do?” He asked in disbelief.

“Well yes. Because what I had to do so survive and what... what they did to me, doesn’t count.” He said. “Remember how I made fun of you when we first met, when you said you don’t want a handjob just because I felt like I had to...? How I called you a romantic? Yeah, well, I might just kinda be one, myself. I’ve never been with someone because I wanted to. I never enjoyed it. So until that happens, I consider myself a virgin.”

“That makes sense.” Robert said slowly. He was amazed at how Jimmy, somehow, had kept some kind of almost childlike innocence about him, despite everything he’s been through. “Do you... want that to happen, at some point? I mean, I’d understand if you’d just rather... not. Ever.” 

“I do. I really, really do. I know it’s gonna be different.” Jimmy said. “I think... I really want it to be... with you.” He added, almost shyly. Robert’s stomach did that stupid little somersault again and he smiled. 

“I’d like that, too.” He said and kissed the top of the boy’s head. 

“Really?” Jimmy asked, blinking up at him. 

“Really.” Robert confirmed and gently touched the tip of his nose to Jimmy’s. 

“Then why do you always stop kissing me at some point? You always stop when it’s starting to feel really nice.” The boy pouted and Robert cringed.

“I... because... you’re still hurt, baby. I don’t wanna risk hurting you even more. We should just wait until you’re healed.” He said.

“I’m ok, though. It doesn’t even hurt anymore, I promise!” Jimmy said.

“Your ribs do, though. I know they do.” Robert sighed and Jimmy looked down again.

“We can just be careful, right?” He argued.

“Jimmy, you’re just not ready for this... give yourself time to heal, I’m not going anywhere, I swear.” Robert said gently. 

“But I want it so badly... I never wanted to do these things and now I do and I can’t.” Jimmy said and Robert heard his voice crack again, he was about to start crying again. 

“Are you sure you really want it, though, or are you just using it as a form of therapy?” Robert said after a while. It took Jimmy a few moments before he answered. 

“I do want it. You, I mean. But yes, maybe I’d also much rather feel your hands on my body than theirs. I’m not gonna lie to you.” He admitted. Robert sighed heavily.

“See, that’s why I’m hesitating so much, because I don’t think that’s healthy.” He said.

“It’s my decision, though, isn’t it?” Jimmy said. 

“I don’t want to be used as therapy, Jimmy.” Robert said. “If we’re going to do that, we’ll do it because we both want to. When you’re ready. We’re not gonna rush this. Just let it happen naturally.”

Jimmy didn’t answer, but he also made no move to get out of Robert’s embrace, so they stayed like that for a while, before Jimmy spoke up again.

“I asked you not to treat me like I’m broken or fragile.” He said sadly. 

“But you are, Jimmy. Right now, you’re still hurt, your body is still healing.” Robert said.

“I didn’t mean physically. I understand that. I can accept that. I meant... mentally. I’m not broken. I’m fine. I’m strong. Please don’t treat me like I’m not.” Jimmy said. “What they did doesn’t affect me.” Robert wasn’t quite so sure about that, especially considering what Jimmy just admitted a few minutes ago, but he chose to go with it for now.

“I know that. I don’t understand how, but I know. You’re amazing, but I’m still not going to rush into this, because I know I’m going to do more harm than good.” He said firmly. “I’d never forgive myself if I got carried away and hurt your ribs even more or something.”

“Alright. Understood.” Jimmy sighed. “I’m sorry if I annoyed you...” He then said, nuzzling Robert’s neck.

“Aww, no... don’t you dare apologize. Everything’s fine. I’m glad we talked about this, I think it was important. I’m grateful you told me your story. I think I understand you a lot better, now that I know what happened to you. Thank you for trusting me.” Robert said. 

“Thank you for listening. For caring.” Jimmy sighed and closed his eyes, he was exhausted again.

It was true, Robert thought, he did understand Jimmy a lot better now. He knew why the boy needed constant reassuring that Robert did like him, that he wasn’t disgusting, that there was nothing wrong with him. He obviously firmly believed that none of what had been done to him, either by his parents or by the men who assaulted him, had affected him, but that just wasn’t true. 

Robert knew that while Jimmy didn’t think he was bad or disgusting, he was still terrified that someone else might think that way about him, like his parents did. The boy’s biggest fear was that someone he’s close to might possibly think something bad about him, and now Robert knew exactly why. What his parents and the priest had told him had obviously gotten to him, even if he didn’t realize it himself, even if he didn’t want to admit it to himself. Jimmy wanted so badly to be strong that he didn’t realize that he needed to deal with these things.

Robert decided not to bother him about it for now, but he’d definitely bring it up again sometime later, when Jimmy was better. He needed to go to therapy, as much as he hated that thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor baby. He's gonna be fine, in the end, promise. 
> 
> Sooo, for the next chapter, there may or may not be something that back in the day, in the early 2000's, when MySpace, Fanfiction.net and Lifejournal were a thing, we used to call "lemon". :) So those of you who are old enough to remember those days, like me, will know what that is, for the others, well, in the Led Zeppelin fandom is has a similar, yet different meaning... ;)


	9. 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things... happen. The boys try to be intimate for the first time but it doesn't go that well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, I hope you guys have some tissues at the ready for this one... it's gonna get emotional!

A few days later, Robert woke up one morning, feeling strangely warm. He was a little confused by that fact because he distinctly remembered chucking off his pyjama before going to bed because it was a strangely warm September night, so he slept in his boxers only. 

When he opened his eyes, he quickly figured out the source of the warmth. A pair of mirthful dark green eyes was blinking at him from a mass of shiny, dark hair, covered almost to the tip of the nose by the blanket. Jimmy was snuggled up to him, halfway on top of him, and smirking at him cheekily. 

“Well, good morning...” Robert said, amused, as he stretched a little and yawned. “How did you end up here?” He asked, pulling the blanket down just a little so he could look at the boy snuggled up to his chest. He was so adorable.

“Morning... I felt a little lonely last night, so I came here...” Jimmy quipped. “You didn’t even wake up, you just pulled me close and smiled in your sleep.”

“I could have hurt you, baby...” Robert whispered and reached up to caress Jimmy’s cheek. The brunette rolled his eyes.

“Would you stop that? You didn’t.” He said. “I’m fine. You didn’t roll on top of me and break my remaining ribs.” Robert sighed, then shook his head and smiled at the boy. Maybe he was right and this was fine, nothing bad had happened after all. 

“Did you get some sleep after you came here?” He asked gently and Jimmy nodded. Another cheeky grin appeared on his face, then.

“It wasn’t that easy, you know. Imagine my surprise when I got here and found you almost naked. I got a little excited.” He grinned, glancing down at the blonde’s naked chest. Robert laughed. 

“Well, excuse you, it’s my bed, I get to sleep naked if I want to!” He said. “I didn’t expect a nighttime visitor.” Jimmy giggled and blushed a little, then lowered his eyes and gently petted Robert’s chest.

“You’re really hairy.” He said, playing with the hair on the blonde’s chest. It made Robert laugh out loud, he was just too adorable.

“Well, yeah... I’m a man. Do you mind?” He asked as he stretched again, crossing his arms behind his head. He wasn’t entirely sure he liked where this way going, or rather, a certain part of him really liked where this was going, the more rational part of him was a little more apprehensive. Jimmy giggled again and shook his head.

“No... not at all, I think it’s sexy.” He said, dragging his hand along Robert’s pecs, then lower, playing with the hair on his belly now. The older man twitched and convulsed, laughing.

“Bloody hell, that tickles!” He laughed, trying to get away from the teasing touches. The boy gave him a mischievous grin and let his fingers dance against his abs again. Robert quickly removed his arms from behind his head again and grabbed the boy’s hand. “That is so not fair... tickling me when I can’t even tickle you back!” 

“Hmmm, I promise you can tickle me as much as you want as soon as my ribs are healed?” Jimmy offered.

“Oh I so will... you are so in for it.” Robert growled as he pulled Jimmy a little closer, further up, and nuzzled his neck. The boy squealed and laughed.

“Hey, that tickles, too!” He said, clutching at Robert’s shoulder.

“Does it, now?” Robert asked in a low voice, letting his lips touch Jimmy’s ear as he did. He knew that right now, *he* was the one taking this a step further, but then again, Jimmy had decided to crawl into his bed, he’d been the one touching him first, so he felt safe doing this. He moved some of the boy’s thick, dark hair out of the way and gently trailed his lips down his neck, from right behind his ear to where his neck met his shoulder. 

He heard the sharp intake of breath and felt him go very, very still in his arms before he shivered ever so slightly and tightened his hold on Robert’s shoulder even more. The blonde smiled at his reaction and pressed his lips to his neck again as he trailed a hand up the boy’s back. 

“Fuck... that feels... so fucking good...” He gasped, tilting his head a little to give Robert better access. Robert paused for a moment as his brain kicked in again. He’d told Jimmy, only a few days ago, that he didn’t want to do this yet, and here he was, getting him all riled up. Why was he so incredibly weak? He leaned in and nuzzled the boy’s neck again with a sigh, holding him close.

“I’m sorry... I shouldn’t have...” He started and Jimmy made a frustrated noise.

“Robert... if you push me away again, I swear I will murder you.” He growled. “You can’t just do these things to me just to stop!”

“I’m sorry... that was unfair, I know...” Robert started and Jimmy glared at him. He took a deep breath and sighed. “Alright. You’re right. I can’t keep doing this to you. Tell me what you want.” He finally gave in and Jimmy looked up in surprise, a smile appearing on his face.

“Seriously...?” He asked as if he hadn’t actually expected the blonde to give in and bit his lip. “I want... can you do that again, what you did earlier?” He asked shyly.

“Hmm, this?” Robert whispered as he leaned in to pepper gentle kisses along the boy’s neck again. 

“Yeah... yeah, that.” Jimmy answered breathily and it only took a few more well placed kisses for him to start clawing at Robert’s shoulder again. The blonde marveled at just how sensitive the boy was and started to let his kisses linger a little, sucking a little here and there, never enough to leave a mark, but enough for Jimmy to feel it. “Oh... fuck... I’ve been thinking about this for... months.”

“Months?” Robert asked in surprise, raising his head to look at the younger man.

“Yeah... pretty much since the second time we met, when we were hanging out and having fun... I thought it would be so nice if you... if you were my boyfriend.” Jimmy admitted. “I know that sounds silly...” He added bashfully and looked away.

“No, it doesn’t, at all. I’m so glad you felt that way, even back then.” Robert smiled. 

He’d been worried that Jimmy only felt that way about him because he’d been taking care of him after he got assaulted, like some sort of stockholm syndrome or something, but apparently, the other man had felt that way even before. They had basically been living together for almost two weeks now, spent every waking hour together, they had gotten very close and Jimmy’s bruises were almost healed completely, maybe it was alright to take it a step further. 

He carefully pulled the boy even closer and kissed him gently while slowly dragging his hands up and down his back. Jimmy’s hand came to tangle in his hair as they kissed, while his other hand, the one with the little cast, was resting on his shoulder.

He then broke the kiss and sat up, looked down at Robert with barely contained excitement and reached up behind his back to pull the t-shirt he was wearing over his head. He made another frustrated little sound when it got caught on the cast on his broken hand and pouted. Robert chuckled and gently pried it off, tossed it aside, and pulled Jimmy back down on the bed with him. 

“Sorry... I’m clumsy...” The boy mumbled and nuzzled his neck before starting to kiss it, just like Robert had done to him before. 

“It’s alright... you’re adorable.” He smiled and trailed his fingers down Jimmy’s now naked back. He was so happy to see that the bruises were almost gone, finally, and the skinny boy had gained a little bit of weight as well, no longer looking borderline skeletal. He was starting to look healthier with every passing day and it made Robert so very happy. 

Jimmy shifted a little on the bed so he wasn’t lying on top of Robert anymore, but next to him. He let his eyes trail over Robert’s torso, then they flicked back up to his face.

“May I touch you...?” He asked shyly. 

“Of course you may...” Robert answered, amused that he even felt the need to ask. Jimmy busied himself caressing the blonde’s torso with his good hand, propped up by his elbow, as he watched his hand tracing the other’s muscles.

“How are you so buff? You don’t work out, do you?” He asked. Robert laughed.

“I do, actually, occasionally at least. I used to play football, too. Never quite lost the muscle I gained from that. I have some stuff in the basement, you know, treadmill, weights... sometimes, I feel like I sat in my chair for long enough, and then I’ll go down there and use it.” Robert shrugged.

“Huh. Who would have thought.” Jimmy mused. He seemed strangely shy now, but then again, he’d probably never got to do anything like this before, exploring someone’s body, because he wanted to, not because he had to. 

He continued his exploration further down, amusing himself with tickling Robert once again before he let his hand travel even further down, brushing it along the front of the blonde’s boxers. His eyes widened as he fumbled around for a bit.

“Oh...” He said softly and, to Robert’s surprise, shoved his hand right down his boxers, grabbing him firmly. “Woah... that’s impressive... and you’re not even hard yet!” He quipped. Robert made a strangled little noise at the sudden, firm touch, then he laughed again at Jimmy’s words. 

“That... that’s not quite the reaction I expected...” He said breathlessly, raising an eyebrow at the boy in amusement. “I didn’t expect you to just... go for it, like that, either.” Jimmy had the decency to blush at that.

“Sorry... too much?” He asked and made to pull his hand out of Robert’s boxers again, but the blonde quickly grabbed his wrist and kept it there. 

“No. It’s fine. Do what you want.” He said firmly. “I want this... to be for you, though. So if this is what you wanna do, go for it, but if you want something else, tell me.”

Jimmy looked at him for a moment, then grinned and started to move his hand, stroking him slowly, but firmly.

“I do want this. I want to touch you, I want to make you feel good. I want to learn what feels good to you.” He said, then leaned in to kiss Robert. “And then... then, maybe you could do the same, to me?” He asked shyly.

“Oh yes... I’d love to... so much, you have no idea.” Robert said, his voice low and husky by now. He was growing hard quickly in Jimmy’s hand. “Don’t you wanna... take these off?” He asked, tugging at the waistband of his boxers. The brunette nodded eagerly and let go of his cock to start tugging them down. Robert helped him get them off.

“Fuck... you’re huge! Bloody hell...” Jimmy said, quickly reaching back down to grab him once more, stroking him again. “That’s the biggest dick I’ve seen, well, aside from porn.” Robert didn’t know whether to moan because of what Jimmy’s hand was doing or to laugh at what he was saying. 

“Seriously?” He asked. Jimmy must have seen his fair share of cocks in his life, considering his past, so Robert felt a little flattered. 

“Yeah... the most gorgeous one, too... including porn.” The brunette grinned cheekily and Robert most definitely felt flattered now. He pulled Jimmy closer for a heated kiss and moaned into it when the boy did something with his hand that felt particularly good. “Oh, like this?” Jimmy mumbled against his lips and did it again, eclicting another moan from Robert. 

“Yes... yes, like that, that’s good...” He said encouragingly. “Jimmy? Are you... are you enjoying this, too, baby?” He asked, then, even now he couldn’t quite switch off his brain, he was almost always worried about the boy and whether or not he was happy and enjoying himself. Jimmy shot him another grin.

“Hmm, let’s see, am I enjoying this?” He asked and shifted a little, dragged one of his legs across one of Robert’s and rubbed his crotch against the blonde’s thigh. He was hard as well. “Does this feel like I’m enjoying this?” He asked, batting his eyelashes. 

That was quite literally one of the sexiest things anyone had ever done to Robert and he growled as he pulled Jimmy even closer, grabbing on to the thigh he’d thrown across his own leg to pull him closer and let him grind against him as he kissed him again. He propped his leg up a little to give Jimmy more friction and the brunette gasped a little.

“Wait... wait.” He said breathlessly and pulled back a little. “I can’t focus if you do that.” He pouted at Robert. “Let me get you off first, ok?”

“Ok...” The older man agreed as he let go off the boy. He removed his hand from Jimmy’s thigh and brought it up to his face, gently caressing his cheek before pulling him in for another kiss. 

“Hmm, you know... I think I really... really... want this...” He gave Robert’s cock a little tug as he murmured against his lips, “... in my mouth.” 

“Do you really?” Robert asked with a grin. He made no move to stop Jimmy when he let go of his cock and clumsily crawled down the bed, dropping hot, open mouthed kisses along his torso and stomach.

“Don’t get too excited, I haven’t mastered the art of deep throating... yet.” Jimmy quipped and poked his tongue out at him. “Especially not something this size.” He then added as he reached his destination and eyed Robert’s cock appreciatively. “I’ll do my best, though.”

“Wait... there’s... condoms, in the drawer...” Robert said and made to sit up, but Jimmy stopped him.

“No. It’s ok. We’re both clean, remember? We don’t have to.” He said.

“I know, I just thought... you wouldn’t want...” Robert trailed off. Jimmy raised an eyebrow.

“You thought I wouldn’t want what? To taste you?” He asked. “You’re not some random bloke, you’re you. I want all of you. I want to feel you and I want to taste you. I want... need this to be different than... you know.” Robert did know. He understood now what Jimmy meant, so he lay back down, relaxing back into the mattress. 

His head was still reeling from the fact that Jimmy had gone straight for his cock, straight to *sucking* his cock, but then again, why wouldn’t he? He knew exactly what he was doing, he knew he was good at it, he wasn’t self-conscious about this whatsoever. He had no reason to be, this was what he was used to doing. On one hand, Robert was glad that Jimmy felt comfortable about this, on the other hand, he hated the very thought, the reason why he felt so comfortable with this, so he pushed it far away into the back of his mind, he wasn’t gonna let it ruin the mood right now.

“Hmm, let’s see... this is gonna be a challenge... but it’s gonna be so much fun.” Jimmy grinned and took hold of Robert’s cock again, wrapping his long, spindly fingers around the base of it. It was fully erect by now, the tip now freed of his foreskin, dark pink and glistening with precum. Jimmy seemed to have a lot of fun circling it with his tongue, dragging the tip of it just along the ridge, then just below, then just above, teasing the blonde and enjoying the needy little sounds he got out of him that way.

“You’re such a little tease.” Robert growled as he reached down to run his fingers through Jimmy’s thick tresses. The boy grinned at him again.

“Aww, come on, let me enjoy this...” He said and gave his cock another little lick. “Now that I finally get my hands... and mouth... on you... you made me wait long enough.” 

Robert grinned right back at him and shook his head in amusement. He wasn’t too surprised by how playful Jimmy was in bed, he actually liked it a lot, but it did catch him a little off guard. 

Jimmy kept eye contact with him as he slowly wrapped his lips just around the tip of his dick. He stayed there for a moment before sliding down agonizingly slowly to about halfway. Robert cursed under his breath as he felt him swallow around it before he started slowly bobbing his head. It was blatantly obvious that he knew exactly what he was doing, and Robert had stopped caring at this point. 

He watched his thick cock disappear between those red lips for a while before he closed his eyes and threw his head back into the pillow, little moans falling from his lips with every bob of the brunette’s head. He felt that very familiar feeling building up inside him already, Jimmy had figured out what exactly felt good to him so quickly, almost too quickly. 

He opened his eyes again to look down at the boy when the pleasurable warmth left him with a wet sound and he felt the cool air on his wet, throbbing cock. Jimmy was watching him intently as he started peppering little kisses and licks all over his crotch, the inside of his thighs, his lower belly, his balls, everywhere, teasing him for a while and it just made him crave that hot mouth back on his cock all the more. 

Jimmy didn’t tease him for too long, though, before taking him back into his mouth and this time he started to move his hand in time with the bobbing of his head while he slowly slid his other hand up his hip, then sprawled it all over his belly, slowly caressing him, moving it up to his chest, then back down.

Robert couldn’t help himself anymore, he allowed himself to let go, moaning more loudly now. His hips started thrusting up just a little bit, he was getting so close and it felt so fucking good. 

It only took one more look down at Jimmy and what he was doing for Robert to curse loudly and throw his head back again. He arched his back as he came with a gasp and another low moan. 

Jimmy kept him in his mouth and stroked him gently until the last little aftershocks had subsided before he let go. He crawled back up the bed and lay down alongside Robert, while he blonde tried to get his breathing back to normal. 

“You’re very vocal.” Jimmy commented and Robert slowly turned his head to look at him. He was lying on his side, propped up on his elbow, his head resting on his hand and looking at him with a very pleased smirk. 

“No shit, Sherlock.” Robert said and laughed. “You just tried to suck my soul out through my dick, of course I was vocal.” He said and Jimmy laughed as well.

“I take it that was good, then?” He asked. 

“Hmm, I’m not entirely sure... you may have to do that again, sometime, you know, to convince me.” Robert said with a grin and this time, the boy giggled, then smiled at him happily. The blonde couldn’t help but notice that he was still hard, the soft sweatpants he was wearing did very little to hide that fact. 

“Do you want me to take care of that for you?” He asked and Jimmy bit his lip, Robert noticed a flash of insecurity or self consciousness in his eyes, then he nodded. “C’mere, baby.” He gently pulled him closer and kissed him. He could still faintly taste himself, but he didn’t mind that at all.

“Hmmm... ouch...” Jimmy said and Robert quickly let go of him again. The position the boy had been in to suck him off had obviously hurt his ribs a little.

“Alright, lie down, time for you to play pillow princess.” He said and guided him to lie down on his back instead.

“Prince.” Jimmy corrected Robert with a shy little smile and the blonde laughed.

“Of course. Prince. My sweet prince.” He cooed and kissed him again. The boy’s body felt awfully tense underneath his own, so Robert took his time kissing him slowly and deeply until he felt him relax a little, gradually. “Tell me if something doesn’t feel right, if you don’t like something, ok? Tell me to stop if you need me to. It’s alright.” He said gently and Jimmy nodded slowly.

Robert knew he was going to get just as much pleasure out of this as he got out of what Jimmy just did to him, if not more, in a completely different way, of course. He just wanted to make him feel good. He remembered how much Jimmy had enjoyed those sweet, soft kisses to his neck earlier, so Robert started with that and he was rewarded with a little sigh and an involuntary little shiver. 

“Can I take these off?” He asked, then, running his fingertips along the waistband of Jimmy’s sweatpants. The younger man nodded and raised his hips a little so Robert could tug them off of his hips, then kicked them off completely. He wasn’t wearing anything underneath. The blonde sat back a little to admire the boy sprawled out in front of him for a moment. 

While Robert was all golden skin and blonde hair, which was nice in its own way (at least Robert liked to think so, without being conceited), Jimmy was a beautiful contrast of incredibly pale skin and dark, almost black hair, long and lithe rather than bulky, and absolutely gorgeous. They were like night and day, sun and moon, polar opposites. Robert let his eyes travel along the prominent collar bones, the small, pink nipples, perfect little belly button, the lightest dusting of a dark treasure trail towards a little patch of straight, black hair and the slender, but just as perfect cock jutting up from there, resting along his right hip bone. 

“You’re so beautiful... gorgeous...” Robert sighed and Jimmy blushed. He looked like he’d rather cover up, but he made no move to do so, instead, he reached out to take Robert’s hand and pull him closer again. The older man smiled and let his hair fall on either side of their faces, creating a comforting curtain around them both as they kissed. He felt the boy smile into the kiss as he pulled him even closer so that Robert’s body was covering his smaller one entirely. He moaned softly as the first touch of skin on skin.

Almost instantly, Robert felt his own arousal grow again, despite just having gotten off, but the way Jimmy’s body felt underneath his, the way his skin felt against his, the little sounds he made, he just couldn’t help himself, it turned him on again. He pushed it towards the back of his mind, though, because this was about Jimmy, it was his turn now and Robert wanted to make this good for him. He raised himself up a little and Jimmy made a disappointed little mewl, pulling him right back down.

“Shhh, hey, easy...” Robert cooed, breaking the kiss to smile down at the younger man. “Let me make you feel good.” He added and Jimmy bit his lip, then took a deep breath and nodded. It wasn’t lost on Robert that he hadn’t said a word since he started this, but he wasn’t going to mention it now. 

Jimmy hadn’t paid any attention to his body earlier, he’d gone straight to his dick, which was fine with Robert (and understandable, given the circumstances), but he thought he may just be able to teach him a thing or two. He started with his neck, once again, since he already knew Jimmy loved attention right there, while letting his fingertips ghost across his torso gently, taking his sweet time. 

He grinned widely at the surprised little gasp he heard when he kissed his way down the boy’s chest, licking along his collar bones, then lower to kiss, lick and suck at his nipples, he probably hadn’t expected that to feel so good. He looked up at him while he was sucking on one of them, then gently grazed it with his teeth and watched Jimmy’s eyes widen for a moment. He nibbled it gently, then took the little nub between his teeth carefully, only putting a little pressure, not enough to hurt, and flicked his tongue against it quickly. Jimmy closed his eyes and scrunched up his face in an adorable way against the onslaught of sensation. 

Robert went on to pay the same kind of attention to his other nipple, then slowly kissed his way down his belly, nuzzling the sweet little treasure trail with his nose before looking up at Jimmy again. He was holding his breath and looking down at Robert with wide eyes, clutching the blanket beneath him in a deathgrip. 

“Ok?” Robert asked, just to make sure Jimmy still wanted this, because for all it’s worth, he didn’t really look like it right now. He got a little nod in reply, still not a single word, but it was good enough for him for now, especially since Jimmy was still hard, so everything was fine. He nuzzled the younger man’s cock before taking a slow lick along the underside of it, all the way to the tip. Jimmy gasped, then held his breath again, somehow managing to grip the blanket even more tightly. 

Robert gently took his cock into his hand and slowly took it into his mouth, mimicking Jimmy’s earlier move on him, slowly bobbing his head and sucking lightly. Jimmy’s eyes flickered shut for a moment, but he quickly opened them again to watch Robert. The blonde felt him tense up more and more, but definitely not in a good way. 

Robert watched a series of emotions flicker across his face, from worried to embarrassed, and to his shock, he felt him slowly get flaccid in his mouth. Tears shot into Jimmy’s eyes as Robert let him slip from his lips and he curled up on himself, hiding his face in the pillow, sobbing. 

Of course Robert hadn’t expected this to go smoothly, he’d fully expected some bumps along the road, some awkwardness maybe, having to adjust a little to make it enjoyable for Jimmy, but he hadn’t expected it to go so gloriously wrong right away. He hesitated for a second before quickly crawling over towards Jimmy and gathering him in his arms, holding him close. 

The boy tried to push him away for a moment, and Robert let him, not wanting to scare him or smother him in any way, but then Jimmy changed his mind and snuggled against his chest, still sobbing. The blonde wrapped his arms around him, then reached behind them to grab the blanket and wrap it around them both, so Jimmy wouldn’t feel so exposed anymore. 

“Shhh, it’s alright... it’s ok, baby...” He said softly and rubbed his back soothingly through the blanket. He kept reassuring him in a soft voice and rocking him gently, until he stopped sobbing so badly. “Wanna tell me what happened, love?” 

Jimmy didn’t react right away. When he did, he looked up at Robert and opened his mouth as if to say something, but no sound came out. He seemed to try again, but again - nothing. More tears filled his eyes at that and he hid his face in the blanket again. Robert was beyond worried now and he had no idea what to do, if Jimmy wouldn’t, or couldn’t, talk to him, all the could do was hold him and reassure him. The fact that he seemed to be unable to speak worried Robert to no end. 

He held him and comforted him even though part of him wanted to call John and ask him for help, but he knew that would freak the boy out even more and he couldn’t just leave Jimmy alone right now, either. It took another half an hour for Jimmy to finally find his voice again.

“‘m sorry I’m so... useless... and weird.” He half mumbled, half whispered. “I’m sorry I can’t just be... normal.” Robert held him even more tightly and kissed the top of his head.

“You are *not* useless. You are perfectly normal.” He said firmly. “It’s alright. I’m not mad at you, baby. I just need to know what happened. Was it something I did?” He asked and Jimmy shook his head quickly.

“N-no.” He hiccuped and sniffled. “You’re awesome. You’re so gentle and loving and wonderful and perfect and I...” He stopped, hiccupped and wiped his tears on the blanket, “I just felt so... wrong, all of a sudden. Like I don’t... belong. Like I shouldn’t be here. With you, I mean. Like I don’t deserve you, like I’m nowhere near good enough for you.” 

Robert didn’t even know what to say, it broke his heart to hear that. His parents must have gotten into his head a lot more than he cared to admit, or maybe it all happened on a subconscious level and not even Jimmy himself knew. He was about to answer when Jimmy continued.

“I also felt like I shouldn’t... be enjoying it, having someone, a man, do these things to me, I mean. I felt that it’s wrong and bad. Why did I feel like that? I know it’s not.” He wondered. 

“Rationally, you know that, of course. But you grew up being taught that it is wrong, you had it hammered into your head that it is. It’s not your fault.” Robert said gently. “It takes time to unlearn stuff like that.” Jimmy sniffled and made himself even smaller in Robert’s arms. 

“I’m so sorry I fucked up so badly... I was... I was really, really, enjoying myself, at first...” He said in a small voice.

“I know... I’m sorry, too. I took it way too far way too quickly.” Robert apologized as well. 

“No! No, it’s not your fault...” Jimmy said, looking up at him with big eyes. “Don’t blame yourself for this, please! You didn’t do anything wrong!”

“I should have slowed down. I was just... very encouraged by how confident you were when we started... I should have known it wouldn’t be the same if the tables were turned. I should stopped when you stopped talking to me and got all tense... it’s not like I didn’t notice, but I thought we could just... I don’t know, kinda... work through it? Stupid idea. I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok... I should have said something, but... for some reason, I couldn’t.” Jimmy sighed. 

“I noticed... that was scary.” Robert admitted. 

“Maybe I *am* broken. Maybe I’m not as strong as I thought I was.” Jimmy said sadly. 

“You are not broken. You just... went through so much incredibly tough shit... you had to deal with so much, in such a short time, when you were so very young... I mean, you still are... it’s only normal that you have some issues, baby.” Robert answered. “We should find you a therapist, you can’t deal with all of this on your own. Someone who can find out why you suddenly couldn’t talk anymore and help you with it.” 

“Maybe you’re right.” Jimmy said, sounding defeated. 

“It’s not as bad as it sounds, you know. I went to therapy for a while, after my girlfriend left me.” Robert said encouragingly.

“You did? Did it affect you that much?” Jimmy asked and Robert sighed.

“It’s... not that. I mean, sure, it affected me, I was sad, but that’s not why I went. Maureen left me because... well, remember how I sometimes get very, very angry?” Robert asked and Jimmy nodded. “It used to be much, much worse. I used to get so furious, almost anything could set me off and I would yell at her and I’d throw things at the wall, punch things...” He sighed. “She was afraid of me, she was afraid that one day, I’d punch her or something. I never would have done that, of course, I never would have hurt her, but she said she didn’t want to be with someone like that, and she left. I didn’t want to be that person anymore, so got help. I went to therapy, twice a week, for 6 months, and learned how to deal with my anger in a much healthier way, and I think I got a lot better at handling myself. I still see my therapist once a month, these days, just to talk about certain things and make sure I’m still ok.” He explained.

“Wow... I had no idea it used to be so bad...” Jimmy whispered, looking up at him in awe. “I was scared of you, at first, too...” He then admitted and it felt like a stab in the chest with an icicle to Robert. He wanted Jimmy to trust him and feel safe with him so badly. “You got so angry and you clenched your fists and you got that mighty frown on your face...” He continued and reached up to gently touch Robert’s brow. “But then I saw that you’re never angry at *me* and that you always calmed down so quickly, so I stopped being scared.” 

“Please don’t ever be afraid of me? I promise I’d never hurt you, no matter how angry I get.” Robert pleaded. 

“I know that.” Jimmy smiled and wrapped his arms around Robert’s neck, hugging him tightly. “I trust you.” The blonde smiled widely and buried his face in the thick, dark hair, holding the boy close in turn. Hearing those three words felt absolutely amazing, especially after what happened with his ex. 

“I’m sorry this didn’t go as planned...” He then whispered. “I promise, next time I’ll be more careful and it’ll be awesome.” Jimmy pulled back and blinked at him in surprise.

“Next time...? You want to do this again?” He asked in surprise. 

“What? Of course! If you want to, I mean. I’m not going to let this discourage me... first times are always awkward, right?” He offered with a crooked smile. Jimmy laughed.

“You wanna chalk this up to ‘an awkward first time’? Really?” He asked, amused. His eyes were red from crying, but at least now he was smiling again. “Do you really wanna try again...? What if I freak out again?” He pouted. 

“Well... now I know what you felt like, we talked about it... it won’t be so bad, right? We just have to figure out what works for us. Sex isn’t always the same, it’s different for everybody. I think I have an idea how to make it better for you, trust me, I won’t overwhelm you like that again. You’ll just have to tell me if something doesn’t feel good, or give me a sign if you can’t talk, and we’ll be fine.” Robert said encouragingly.

“Alright. Then I want to try it again sometime soon, too.” Jimmy agreed. “I did love going down on you, that was awesome.” He admitted, looking down shyly.

“Yeah... that was... wow. I was blown away by how confidently you did that and how much it seemed to turn you on so I thought it was ok to do the same to you.” He explained. 

“Well, that didn’t scare me, you know, going down on you. I knew what I was doing, I knew I was good at it, this time I even really, really enjoyed doing it. I thought I would be fine with you doing the same to me, too... I was excited about it, too, until... I wasn’t.” He cringed. 

“It’s gonna be fine, I promise.” Robert said. “We’ll figure it out.”

“How do... how do we find a therapist for me?” Jimmy then asked.

“Hmm... maybe we can ask John, maybe he knows someone?” He offered and Jimmy nodded. “Alright. What would you like to do now? Breakfast sound good?” He asked.

“Yeah... that would be great.” Jimmy said and gave him a little smile. Robert smiled back at him and kissed his cheek gently, holding him close for a little longer before they got dressed and went downstairs to make breakfast. He felt a little encouraged that despite how horrible wrong it went, Jimmy hadn’t shut him out completely, they’d talked about it and he felt confident that they’d figure it out together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave some feedback, let me know what you think, it'd mean the world to me, especially for this chapter! Thank you!


	10. 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert and John have a little talk, then him and Jimmy decide to go shopping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is going to be very dialogue heavy. I know most of my writing is, but this one will be, even more so. I'm sorry. The next one will be much less dialogue heavy, I promise! :) Robert needed to vent in this one!

Robert had a chance to talk to John later that day. Jimmy had gone back upstairs to take a shower after breakfast and John had dropped by to check on him. Robert knew the brunette was gonna be a while, he really enjoyed his showers, so he made a cup of tea each for John and himself, wondering if it was ok to to bring that subject up to his friend. He took a deep breath and sighed. 

“Jonesy? Can I ask you something, or rather, tell you something? As a friend, and maybe, as a doctor?” He asked carefully. John looked at him and raised an eyebrow.

“Both, at the same time?” He chuckled. “Sure. I can’t promise I can help you with it, but I can listen.” He shrugged. 

“That’s good enough for me...” Robert said and ran his fingers through his curls. “I think I fucked up... like, badly. With Jimmy, I mean.” He said with difficulty. He felt guilty for not stopping when he first noticed something was off and he needed to get it off his chest, but he was also worried about Jimmy from a medical point of view. 

“Ok... what did you do?” John asked with a slight frown. “And why would you need my professional opinion as a doctor on that?” 

“I don’t even know where to start... well, Jimmy’s been trying to get into my pants... basically ever since he moved in. I always slowed him down and told him to wait because he was still so hurt, physically, and because I wasn’t sure that it was the healthiest thing to do, mentally, either... but he kept trying.” He explained. 

“Ah... sounds like him, alright. So you finally gave in and it didn’t go very well?” John guessed. 

“Yeah... I... this morning, I woke up to him snuggled up to me, he must have crawled into my bed sometime last night. One thing led to another and... stuff happened, I’m gonna spare you the details, but... it went really well at first, it was awesome, and then, he suddenly freaked out. He just got so incredibly self conscious when it was all about him and he started crying, badly.” 

“That’s not very surprising, considering what happened to him only two weeks ago, Robert.” John sighed. 

“No, it wasn’t about that, though.” Robert shook his head. “This was about... shit, you don’t even know this... well, he grew up in an incredibly religious household... and when his parents found out he’s gay, they... locked him in his room and at first, they tried to... I don’t know, exorcise the gay out of him or something? They had a priest come over to do that... when that didn’t work, his Dad started to beat him and they stopped giving him food and basically anything else a human being needs... he had to run away when he had a chance and he’s been homeless since. That’s what made him freak out, not... not what happened two weeks ago. He freaked out because he thought what we were doing wasn’t ok and that he wasn’t allowed to enjoy it.” Robert explained. 

“Fuck... how much has that poor boy been through?” John cursed. “Alright, what did you do when he started crying?”

“I stopped, of course, and held him. He was crying so badly and when I asked him what had happened... fuck, it was so scary, Jonesy, he tried to talk to me, but nothing would come out of his mouth. He tried twice, but he couldn’t talk.” Robert sighed. “It took him half an hour to be able to talk to me. I... the thing is, he already stopped talking when everything was still ok.”

“What do you mean?” John asked. He looked worried as well. 

“Well... uhm... I was... we were...” Robert stammered and John rolled his eyes. 

“For fucks sake, Robert, stop stammering and tell me what happened, he’s my patient. I’m a doctor, I can take it, trust me.” He said, exasperated. Robert cleared his throat.

“Sorry. I was... at first I was just kissing him and caressing him and that was fine... I kept asking him if everything was ok, and he always just nodded. The whole time, no matter what I did... when I went down on him, I also asked him if it’s ok, and he only nodded, again. Not a single word.” He explained.

“Hmm... that sometimes happens, with traumatic experiences...” John mused. “I think they call it selective mutism, I’m not entirely sure, though. It usually affects children, though, I’ve never heard of it in rape or abuse survivors. It could be possible, though, as it usually means the brain just shut down and refuses to let you talk, if a situation is too overwhelming.”

“Sounds about right...” Robert sighed. “It was really scary. The thing is... I’m worried it was my fault.”

“Why? You said you kept asking him if it’s ok. You said he initiated the whole thing.” John said. 

“Yes, but... it’s just that, I noticed how tense he was getting and that he wasn’t responding to me the way he should... and I still kept going.” Robert said, looking down at his feet. “I should have stopped. I fear I might have done even more harm, caused him even more trauma or something.” He felt awful about that and now that it was out, that he said it out loud, he felt a little relieved. John sighed.

“I’m not gonna lie, Robert, you probably should have, yes. People don’t only communicate with their voice, body language is everything, and you should have listened to him. But you can’t turn back time, so the damage is done. That boy needs therapy, badly.” He said. 

“I know. He knows, too, he even agreed to go. Now we just need to find a therapist for him...” Robert said. 

“I think I know someone... she’s very experienced with people like him, I’m sure she can help him.” John said. “I’ll text you her contact details later, alright?”

“Yeah... that would be great, thank you.” Robert said. “It was heartbreaking, really. He told me how he feels like he’s not good enough for me, that he feels like he doesn’t belong with me.” John looked at him again and sighed.

“Be careful, Robert. I know Jimmy doesn’t want to be treated like he’s made of glass, but right now, I don’t think he knows what’s best for him, either.” He warned.

“I... just don’t wanna treat him like a child, either. I want to take him seriously.” Robert sighed. “He wants to be independent and strong so badly.”

“I know. Give him time.” John advised. 

“What if... well, I told him that I want to try again, sometime. He was surprised, because he thought I’d never wanna touch him again, but when I reassured him, he said he wants it, too. Now I can’t just push him away again. I don’t want to make him feel like I don’t want him.” Robert frowned.

“At least be very, very careful. Much more careful than you were today. Go slowly and *listen* to him, whether he’s talking verbally or not.” John said. “I don’t have any experience with this as a doctor and personally, I’ve never been with someone who’s been through so much, Robert, and I don’t know if it’ll ever be easy... communication will be key, here.”

“I don’t expect it to be easy... I don’t care, really... I just want him happy and healthy and safe... he wanted it so much, you know, he was so into it at first, and then his brain kicked in and decided to ruin it.” Robert huffed.

“Of course he wants it, he really likes you and he probably craves just being normal, having a normal life, a normal sex life included.” John said. “It makes sense, doesn’t it? He’s rushing this because he just wants to be normal.”

“You’re right.” Robert nodded. “I hope I can give him that, one day. Soon.” He added, then raised his head as he heard the shower being switched off in the bathroom. “He’s ready, he’s gonna be down here in a bit.” He said. 

“Good. I just wanna check on his hand...” John said, nodding. “Has he left the house since...?” He then asked and Robert shook his head.

“He looked too beaten up until now... but I guess now that the bruises are gone, we can go somewhere.” He said. 

“Just take him along when you go grocery shopping or for a walk or something. He needs to get out of the house.” John suggested. 

“True. We need a few things anyways, he’s been using my stuff and I’m running out... especially in the bathroom, shower gel, shampoo, conditioner, shaving stuff, that kinda thing.” Robert frowned. 

“He spends a lot of time in the bathroom, hm?” John asked and Robert nodded.

“A *lot* of time. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind having to buy more shower gel and shampoo, I was just surprised...” He said.

“Why are you surprised? The boy was homeless for a few years, from what I gathered. He’s probably really enjoying the fact that he gets to be clean now. Just keep an eye on it, don’t let it get obsessive.” John warned. 

“Obsessive?”

“Well... He’s been raped, Robert. He’s mentioned feeling dirty and disgusting, he’s spending a lot of time in the bathroom and he had a problem with you touching him. It might turn into a problem, if it isn’t already. Just make sure that he’s aware of it so that he can mention it to his therapist.” John said. 

Robert hadn’t thought of that, but it did make a lot of sense. He sighed, it was hard to see all these little things slowly unraveling. Until now, everything had seemed so easy, Jimmy had been healing well, they’d been having a good time just hanging out and snuggling, but now that his body was healing, the mental wounds were rearing their ugly heads. 

He heard the hair dryer stop as well and the door of the bathroom being opened. Jimmy walked into the kitchen and he was only wearing a pair of sweatpants, no shirt. He blushed brightly when he spotted John.

“Oops. Hey John... sorry.” He mumbled and turned back around to rush back upstairs. Robert and John looked at each other and chuckled.

“Well, he doesn’t seem that uncomfortable with his body, at least around you, walking around shirtless.” John smiled.

“Yeah... he bounces back quickly, even after a little setback like this morning...” Robert said. 

“He’s making an amazing recovery, I’m really happy with that. He looks good, healthy.” The doctor said, nodding to himself. 

“Why, thank you, doc.” Jimmy quipped as he walked back into the kitchen once more, this time wearing one of Robert’s shirts. “You’re not so bad yourself.” He said with a wink as he leaned against the kitchen counter. His hair looked absolutely perfect (well, he did spend a lot of time on it), Robert almost felt like it had already grown a little more since he first met the boy.

“Wow, Jimmy. Really? Flirting with me in front of your boyfriend?” John asked with an amused smile and Jimmy grinned at him.

“It’s ok, he knows I only really like *him* that way.” He said and smiled at Robert, then poked his tongue out at him. 

“Cheeky. Hey, how do you feel about coming into town with me today? We need a few things, we could do some shopping.” The blonde suggested.

“Oh... sure.” Jimmy said, then looked down. “I have nothing to wear...” He said sadly. 

“Aww, it’s ok... I think I have a pair of jeans that are way, way too small for me, they might just fit you... you can wear one of my shirts and maybe one of my jackets. It’ll be too big on you, but it’ll do. We can buy you some clothes, too, if you want.” 

“I... I don’t have enough money for that.” Jimmy sighed, shuffling his feet. “I only have a little bit left from...” He trailed off. 

“It’s ok, I can buy you some stuff, I don’t mind.” Robert offered. The thought of Jimmy buying his own stuff hadn’t even crossed his mind, he’d planned to buy everything himself, but then again, Jimmy really didn’t want to be even more dependent on him. 

“I... well... maybe you can buy some stuff for me now and I can repay you once I have a job?” Jimmy offered. Robert had half a mind to argue, but he realized how awful the boy would feel if he did, especially in front of John, so he nodded.

“Deal.” He smiled. Jimmy looked incredibly relieved and came to give him a quick little hug and a peck on the cheek. “Jonesy here came over to check on your hand.”

“Yes. Let me just have a quick little look. I think we’ll get rid of the cast soon, maybe tomorrow or the day after. You’ll have to start moving your hand again, soon, so you won’t lose any mobility in it.” John explained and he carefully took off the cast for now, to check on Jimmy’s hand. Robert smiled as he noticed that Jimmy’s hands were actually bigger than John’s. He’d always seen the boy as so small and fragile compared to his own body at least, that he completely forgot that Jimmy wasn’t short, either, he was actually quite tall as well. “Does it hurt a lot when you flex your fingers, carefully?” John asked.

“No. Just a little if I do it too fast or clench them too hard.” He said.

“Alright, good. Let’s keep the cast for another day or two, then we’ll leave it off. You’ll be fine.” John nodded and slid it back on, securing it with a new bandage. “There, you’re all set.” 

“Thank you.” Jimmy said and smiled at him. “For everything, I mean. You’ve been taking care of me even though you didn’t have to. Thank you.” He said solemnly, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt shyly. John blinked at him in surprise, then smiled widely.

“I’m glad I was able to help.” He said, giving Jimmy’s shoulder a gentle squeeze. “You can come to me whenever you need something, if you have a question, or if you feel something’s wrong, OK? I’d be happy to help.” He said and Jimmy nodded, fidgeted a little more, then surprised John with a hug. The doctor chuckled and patted his back gently.

“Thank you...” Jimmy repeated.

“You’re welcome. We’ll find you someone to talk to, as well, alright? I know someone, she’ll be able to help you.” John then said and Jimmy blinked at him, then at Robert.

“You asked him already?” He asked and Robert nodded. “Alright... I... I’d like that. I guess.” He said insecurely.

“She’s really nice, and a very good doctor as well. Don’t you worry, it’s gonna be fine.” John reassured him. “Alright, I gotta get back home or my wife’s gonna come looking for me. I’ll drop by to check on your hand again soon.” He said and both Robert and Jimmy thanked him again before he left. 

“He’s so nice... you’re lucky you moved in next to him.” Jimmy smiled. “He’s pretty cool for a straight bloke, too. He never seems bothered by the flirting.”

“Why would he be? He likes how cheeky and flirty you are.” Robert chuckled and Jimmy shrugged. The blonde thought it was cute how the boy always tried to catch John off guard and it’d never work. He wasn’t jealous or upset, either, it was all just some friendly teasing, nothing serious, and he knew that.

“A lot of straight guys are weird about that.” He said.

“John’s not homophobic. At all. Straight as ruler, but not homophobic.” Robert said. “He didn’t even do a double take when I told him I took a guy home for a one night stand, after Maureen left me.” 

“Did he know that you swing both ways?” Jimmy asked. 

“No. I didn’t tell him, I mean, there was no reason to. I was with Maureen and not looking at other people.” Robert shrugged. Jimmy obviously still had a hard time wrapping his head around the fact that it was ok to like people of the same gender and that other people were ok with it, too, even after working as a prostitute. Robert wondered if maybe that had something to do with it, too. All those men who came to Jimmy probably thought their desires were something incredibly bad and dirty as well and made no secret of it either. He’d have to come around to it slowly. “Alright, how do you feel about a trip to Stratford City?” Robert then asked. He’d always wanted to see the new, huge shopping centre in East London. Jimmy’s eyes widened.

“I’ve never been there... I heard it’s huge, like the biggest mall in Europe or something!” He said, obviously excited to see it.

“Yep. I’m sure we’ll find everything we need there.” Robert said with a smile. It was good to see Jimmy so enthusiastic about something. The boy nodded eagerly.

“Yes, please, let’s go there!” He said, almost bouncing a little with every word. Robert chuckled, then chased him up the stairs into his room to find him some actual clothes to wear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How's the shopping trip gonna turn out??


	11. 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert and Jimmy go shopping!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I'm updating this fic like crazy, but I literally cannot stop writing this, it's just so adorable. <3 This is a happier chapter again (good times and bad times, right?).

He started rummaging through his wardrobe while Jimmy sat on the bed, trying to find that one pair of jeans he had in mind. He found it, at the very back of his wardrobe, buried underneath some sheets and pillowcases, after a few minutes. It was a simple pair of black jeans and even like this it was obvious they were way too small for Robert.

“Ha, there they are!” He said in triumph and held it up for Jimmy to see.

“Oh wow... why did you buy these, they *look* too small already!” He said, getting up to take them. 

“Uhm... I ordered them online and then I was too lazy to send them back.” Robert admitted sheepishly and grinned. Jimmy laughed and shook his head. 

“Rich folks...” He said in disbelief as he stripped off his sweatpants to put on the jeans. They were still a little big around the thighs, but at least they didn’t slip down much.

“Wait, I think I have a spare belt...” Robert said and started rummaging again, quickly producing a thin leather belt with a silver buckle. “There you go, this should help.” Jimmy quickly slid it through the belt loops and closed it, nodding.

“Yeah, this is fine. Thank you.” He said with a little smile. Robert got up from where he was sitting, cross legged, on the floor and quickly got dressed as well but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Jimmy staring at him with big eyes. 

“I’m not letting you leave the house like that, you’re gonna get someone pregnant.” The brunette said, his gaze fixed on Robert’s crotch. The blonde slowly looked down with a frown. He’d opted for a flowery blouse (he wasn’t quite sure if it was from the men’s section or not) and a pair of tight, light blue jeans and he quickly saw what Jimmy meant. He had the decency to blush at the very obvious outline of his dick that was showing through the tight, thin material.

“Oh shit.” He said and turned around to rearrange himself a little so it wasn’t all that obvious. “Sorry ‘bout that.” He mumbled. There was still a rather obvious bulge there, but at least it didn’t look completely and utterly obscene anymore. When he turned back around, Jimmy was still looking at him, slowly raising his eyes from his legs, across his torso, up to his face. 

“It’s ok... I guess having a big dick isn’t always a blessing, huh? You look amazing, by the way... a little 70’s, but it suits you.” He said with a little smile. “Well, thanks to you, my mind’s in the gutter again, thank you very much. It’s probably not a very good place for it to be right now.” He pouted. Robert blinked at him in surprise, then smiled. He felt flattered that Jimmy wanted him so much, but he also felt frustrated that they couldn’t really do much about it right now, at the same time. The sexual tension between them was palpable already and it just seemed to grow with every passing minute, what had happened earlier that morning hadn’t done much against that, either. 

“Well, get it out of the gutter, then. We’re going shopping.” He said, deciding quickly not to get into it right now, not to encourage Jimmy as it would just do more harm than good yet again. “You’re gonna catch a cold if I let you go out in just a t-shirt... here, put this on instead.” He said, handing the younger man a long-sleeved sweater. The boy took it and quickly took off the t-shirt, exchanging it for the sweater. Robert couldn’t quite help but look at him as he did, and he smiled at how nicely he’d healed. There were only two or three bruises left and they were pale yellow by now. Of course Jimmy caught him looking. 

“Hey, now you’re ogling me. I thought we weren’t doing this right now.” He pouted and Robert laughed.

“Sorry... I was just happy to see how well you’ve healed.” He said gently. “Do you need to take some painkillers before we go, or are you alright?” He then asked. Jimmy seemed to consider it for a moment. 

“I think I’d rather take some. Some parts still hurt, especially if I move around a lot.” He sighed. Of course, just because he looked better didn’t mean he was completely healed. “Can I tell you something?” He then asked, sitting back down on the bed. Robert nodded.

“Of course. You can tell me anything, always.” He said and sat next to the boy. 

“It probably looked a lot worse than it really is, when I first got here. There was a lot of blood and it probably looked scary, but I don’t think I was hurt that badly. They were... they were actually holding back and made sure not to hurt me too badly.” He whispered. Robert didn’t know what to say, he hadn’t actually expected Jimmy to start talking about *that*. He had wondered about this, he had been surprised by how quickly the boy was recovering, he’d looked like they’d almost killed him when he showed up on his doorstep, but apparently it had looked worse than it really was. This was also the confirmation for Robert that there had indeed been more than one person. He chose not to say anything for now and let him continue. 

“There was one guy... he... he got a little too much into it. He’s the one who broke my ribs and my hand, too. They threw him out after that happened, they said he was too dangerous and that if they killed me, they wouldn’t get paid.” He continued. Robert gasped and stared at Jimmy.

“Someone... paid them, to do that to you?” He asked. Jimmy nodded. “Did you tell the police?” 

“Yes, of course. I told them everything I remembered, including what they talked about.” Jimmy sighed. 

“Fuck... why would anybody... I don’t understand.” Robert stammered. The very thought was so scary, he didn’t really want to go there. Part of his brain started popping up with ideas who or why that could have happened, but he quickly silenced it. Speculating wouldn’t do them any good.

“Me neither. I didn’t do anything, to anybody, right? Sure, I did my fair share of shoplifting and I sometimes nicked a few quid from guy’s pockets, but that... I mean... I needed to eat.” He said desperately. “That can’t be it.” 

“No. No way.” Robert said, shaking his head. “Doesn’t make sense, either, to pay more money to get back at someone for stealing money.” 

“Right?” Jimmy agreed and shook his head. “I just don’t understand what I did to deserve that, why somebody out there hates me so much.” He said.

“You did *not* deserve that, Jimmy. Please don’t ever think that...” Robert answered. “Uhm... can I hug you?” He then asked, feeling like the boy really needed a hug, but he wanted to make sure he wanted one. The brunette nodded and turned a little on the bed and snuggled into Robert’s embrace, melting against him quickly. He fit so well in the blonde’s arms, it was like they were made for each other. 

“Do you think we’ll be happy, one day?” Jimmy then asked after a while and Robert pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead.

“Yes. They’ll find out who did this to you and who hired them and they’ll never see the light of day again.” He promised. Jimmy shook his head.

“I didn’t mean that. I don’t even care that much about that.” He shrugged. “I meant us. You and me. Do you think we’ll be ok? Do you think we’ll... figure it out, and we can be a real couple?” Robert smiled again, he knew what Jimmy meant.

“Yes. I’m sure we can. We have all the time in the world to figure out what works for us, baby. There’s no pressure, we can just take out time and do whatever feels good. It’s gonna be fine, I promise.” He said. Jimmy pulled back a little and looked up at him, then smiled and hugged him again, more tightly this time. 

“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me and I’m so, so grateful.” He said and Robert melted. Jimmy pecked the corner of his mouth and smiled at him. “Thank you, for listening. I guess I’m ready go now.” He then said. 

“You’re welcome... you can always talk to me if you need to... I may not always be able to help, but I can always listen.” Robert said. “Alright, painkillers first, though, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable while we’re out and about.” He said. They went to the bathroom for Jimmy to take his pills (he was still on the iron supplement John had given him, as well), then Robert grabbed his phone and his wallet, shoving them into the backpocket of his jeans and they went to his car.

“You might not wanna do that, you know.” Jimmy said. “It’s really easy to steal your stuff that way.” He added and with a very quick movement of his hand, both Robert’s phone and his wallet were gone and he hadn’t even felt it. Damn, he was good at that. 

“Uhm. Note taken.” Robert said, raising an eyebrow as Jimmy slid the stuff back into his pocket, not without fondling his ass for a second. “Can’t really do anything about it right now, though, I don’t have a purse or anything.” 

“It’s ok. I’ll gladly keep an eye on them.” Jimmy grinned cheekily and Robert rolled his eyes. 

“On them, or on me?” He asked and Jimmy giggled. He opened the door of his car for the boy and let him get in.

“Both.” The brunette quipped before Robert closed the door on him and walked around the car, getting in and driving off. “It’s good to get out for a while.” Jimmy then said and Robert nodded.

“Yeah, as much as I love being at home... it’s good to see something else for a change.” He admitted. He actually took a little detour to drive through the countryside around the big city instead of driving right through London, mostly to give Jimmy something to look at for a while and to avoid some traffic. That way, it took them almost an hour to reach the shopping centre and Robert parked the car in the huge, multi-storey car park that belonged to the centre. 

Their first trip took them to Superdrug to stock up on shampoo, conditioner, shower gel, shaving foam, razors and all sorts of other stuff. They managed to fill 3 large paper bags with stuff and the woman at the cash register gave Robert a sympathetic smile. 

“Must be hard, taking care of that much hair, huh?” She asked with a chuckle as she looked at both of them and Robert laughed.

“Yeah... the clogged drain is the worst, really.” He said.

“Oh, I know exactly what you mean, my daughter has really thick, long hair, too.” She nodded as he finished scanning their items. Robert paid and took two of the bags, letting Jimmy carry the remaining one. 

“We should take this to the car before we go anywhere else, I don’t feel like carrying this around the whole centre...” Robert said and Jimmy agreed. “By the way... is it just me or did that lady think you’re my son?” He asked. The brunette grinned at him.

“She totally did.” He said and Robert groaned. It didn’t help that he probably looked a little older than he really was (years of smoking didn’t really help, he probably had a few more wrinkles than he should have at his age), Jimmy also looked younger than he was. 

“That’s awful.” He pouted. 

“Aww, come on, Daddy, it’s not that bad...” Jimmy said and batted his eyelashes at him. Robert gasped and almost dropped the bags he was holding.

“Fucking hell, Jimmy. Call me Daddy one more time and I’ll... I’ll... I don’t even know. Just don’t.” He stammered. The boy threw his head back and laughed loudly, his eyes were sparkling with mirth. Robert couldn’t help but smile right back at him, despite how uncomfortable he felt about their little age gap. It was just so good to see Jimmy so happy. 

“Sorry... I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” The boy apologized and Robert shook his head. “It just occurred to me, I don’t actually have a nickname or endearment for you, yet.”

“It’s fine.” He said. “Literally anything but that is fine with me.” He added. They made their way to his car again and put the bags into the trunk before going back inside the shopping centre. Jimmy dragged Robert into the Lush store next, despite the blonde’s protests. As much as he liked their products, the store itself gave him headaches, the smell was just too strong. 

He ended up spending almost 100 pounds there, which made Jimmy incredibly uncomfortable, but Robert insisted nevertheless. He probably would have done so either way, whether Jimmy had been with him or not. Be the time they got out of there, Robert needed a break, so they sat down in one of the countless cafés of the mall. The blonde opted for a cappuccino while Jimmy had his coffee black. They spent quite a while sitting in the little café, sipping their coffee and watching the people pass by, talking to each other and laughing. Everything felt completely normal for a while, they felt just like a young couple on a date. 

Next, they went to Primark and H&M, getting some clothes for Jimmy. They got some underwear and socks as well as some cheap shirts from Primark, then went to try on some pants in H&M. Jimmy opened the door of the dressing room to show him a pair of pants, wondering if they should get them. Robert couldn’t help but stare, they were rather tight and showed off his body perfectly. He cleared his throat before he spoke.

“Yeah... they’re... uhm, really nice.” He stammered and Jimmy raised his head from where he’d been looking down at his legs to smile at him as he noticed the way Robert was looking at him. He came to the door of the dressing room, peeped out to see if anybody was there, then grabbed Robert by the front of his shirt and pulled him into the dressing room. 

The blonde gasped in surprise and dropped their bag with their Lush stuff as Jimmy shoved him against the door once it fell shut behind Robert and kissed him. Robert put his hands on the boy’s shoulders and held him back, looking down at him for a moment, searching his eyes for any signs of discomfort, before leaning back in to kiss him again, slowly walking him backwards so he was leaning against the wall instead. 

Jimmy made a happy little sound and his hand came up to tangle in Robert’s hair, as usually, as they kissed. He pulled Robert closer, close enough to feel his entire body pressed up against his own and moaned softly into the kiss. 

Someone knocked on the door of the dressed room and cleared their throat before walking away again. They stopped kissing and were silent for a second before bursting into laughter, holding on to each other. 

“Fuck, you’re trouble...” Robert laughed as he nuzzled Jimmy’s neck. “I knew you’ be trouble when I first met you.” 

“I know... but you like it.” Jimmy grinned at him and kissed him again, gently this time. 

“Yes, I do.” Robert agreed. His head was spinning and he felt so in love with this boy right now, he felt like he was about to burst. He felt like a teenager, full of love and excitement, making out in a dressing room, and it was absolutely perfect. “You make me so happy.” 

“You make me very happy, too.” Jimmy repeated and nuzzled his neck. Robert smiled and gave him another gentle squeeze, then let go of him and took a step back.

“We’d better get out of here, before they throw us out.” He said and Jimmy nodded in agreement. Robert left the dressing room so the boy could take off the pair of jeans they were going to buy and put his own back on. They found two more pairs of jeans for Jimmy as well as some more shirts, a set of cute scarves, a belt and a pair of sneakers. Jimmy now had quite a few things for himself and wouldn’t have to wear Robert’s clothes anymore, which the blonde regretted ever so slightly because the boy looked so damn adorable in his oversized sweaters, but maybe he could get him to still wear those from time to time. 

They were just making their way back to the car, when Robert noticed Jimmy looking at the window of one of the designer stores in the mall. There was an absolutely gorgeous leather jacket that he knew would look amazing on the brunette. 

“Do you want it?” He asked as he stopped walking. Jimmy stared at him, then laughed.

“Did you see the pricetag? I could never, ever afford that.” He said, shaking his head in disbelief at Robert’s question. The blonde walked over to the window and glanced at the pricetag in question. 1499 £. 

“It could be a present.” He said softly and Jimmy stared at him in disbelief again.

“Robert, no.” He said slowly, shaking his head. “That’s ridiculously expensive.” The older man shrugged.

“I don’t mind. It’s not a big deal for me and it’d look really fucking good on you.” He said. 

“I know it would, but... that’s just... too much.” Jimmy stammered. “I don’t... I can’t just take advantage of you like that.” 

“You’re not taking advantage of me if I’m offering, right?” Robert suggested.

“No, but... I don’t want you to think I’m just with you because of your money.” Jimmy whispered, shuffling his feet. Robert laughed.

“You’ve made it very, very clear that that is not the case.” He grinned and Jimmy blushed a little. “It’s ok. I can tell you like me, for the right reasons. Please just let me buy you this jacket?” The boy looked up at the window, at the jacket, again and sighed. 

“You really don’t have to...” He said again. 

“I know I don’t *have* to.. I *want* to.” Robert insisted. 

“I... ok.” Jimmy finally gave in with a shy little smile. “You really don’t have to be surprised if I’m gonna start calling you Daddy, you’re acting like a sugar daddy.” He pouted and this time, Robert laughed. 

“Fair enough. Come on.” He took Jimmy’s hand and pulled him into the store. Robert didn’t miss the assistant’s glance at their Primark and H&M bags, but he couldn’t have cared less. If they wanted his money, they’d better not comment. They asked for the jacket in the smallest size, and indeed, it fit like a glove and Jimmy looked amazing. 

“You look like a rock star.” Robert commented and Jimmy laughed. 

“Shut up...” He said, blushing as he turned, looking at himself in the mirror. It was true, with the black jeans and his old, worn boots, the leather jacket made him look like a cool rock star, his long hair adding to the look. Robert turned back to the cash register and paid using one of his credit cards, then turned back to Jimmy. 

“You can just keep it on, if you like. It got cold outside.” He said and the boy nodded. It was true, the sun had started to set and it was chilly.

“Thank you, Robert...” He said in a small voice, running his fingers along the edge of the jacket. 

“You’re welcome, baby...” He cooed and the lady behind the cash register gave him a little smile as she passed him the receipt. “Shall we go home?” He asked and Jimmy nodded. Robert gently took his hand into his own as they left the store and walked back to his car. He felt a tad bit bad for making him so uncomfortable, but another part of him also liked being able to do this. He wasn’t quite sure why, but he just loved being able to provide for Jimmy and buy him everything he needed. He decided not to dwell on it, not to think about it too much as he drove back home. Jimmy was very quiet next to him, watching the town rush past them as they drove. 

When he parked the car in the garage, they each had to take at least 3 bags in each hand to carry all the stuff they bought back inside (of course, they were too lazy to go twice). Jimmy took the bags from Superdrug upstairs into the main bathroom while Robert took his clothes into his room. He’d already decided that that guest room was now Jimmy’s, for good. The boy joined him there and gave him a strange, shy look.

“What is it, baby?” Robert asked, pulling him into a hug. Jimmy immediately snuggled close and sighed.

“I... I don’t want to sleep here anymore.” He mumbled against Robert’s chest. “I want to sleep with you. I mean, I want... I’d rather sleep in your bed, close to you.” The blonde smiled and rubbed his back soothingly.

“That’s ok. I’d like that, too.” He said. “This can still be your room, you know. You need to have your own space, something that’s only yours. You need somewhere to keep your clothes and stuff, too.” Jimmy looked up at him.

“So that means... I’m moving in, for good?” He asked.

“Well, I’m definitely not letting you go!” Robert chuckled and Jimmy smiled back at him, then he squealed happily and hugged the slightly taller man even more tightly. “This is your home, now.” He added and watched Jimmy’s eyes widen at his words before he teared up a little and hid his face in Robert’s shirt again.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” He then said, beaming happily. Robert pecked his lips chastely.

“Come on, let’s make dinner, we have a new episode of Lucifer to watch!” He said. Jimmy nodded and took his hand to pull him downstairs, into the kitchen. Robert smiled to himself, today had turned out so much better than it had begun, and he was relieved. they started making dinner when his phone in the living room notified him of a new text message. John had texted him the details of the therapist he suggested. 

“Hey, Jimmy... John asked if it’s ok if he made an appointment for you with the therapist. He said he could give her a quick rundown of your backstory so you won’t have to, right away...? It’d be a little easier.” He called into the kitchen. Jimmy stuck his head out to answer.

“Oh... sure. Yeah. That’d be great. Tell him I said thank you.” He said before going back to preparing dinner. Robert texted back and it briefly occurred to him that Jimmy would need a new phone, and probably his own computer as well. Maybe a tablet or a laptop. That way he could read up on things online. He probably wouldn’t want Robert buying him a computer, though. The blonde sighed, maybe he should just surprise him with one.

They spent the rest of the evening as they usually did, snuggled up on the sofa and when they went to bed, Jimmy had no problem falling asleep in Robert’s arms.


	12. 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert and Jimmy go on a wonderful date and spent a lovely night together, but the next morning, something awful happens.

Robert absolutely loved waking up with Jimmy in his arms. Usually, the brunette would still be asleep and Robert would have a chance to look at him, admire him and hold him close and when he’d wake up, Jimmy’s whole face would light up as soon as he saw Robert’s face. He’d snuggle closer and caress the blonde’s chest gently and Robert couldn’t have been happier. He no longer felt lonely, he had someone he could love and hold, he had company he enjoyed.

The next few days weren’t spent quite as lazily as usually, Robert had to work a little more again, he couldn’t just leave everything up to his employees anymore. While he worked, Jimmy would usually read or watch TV and when Robert was done, they’d go outside, usually for a walk, sometimes they went shopping. Things were going really well, they had a lot of fun.

Today, Robert wanted to try something different. He suggested they eat out instead of making dinner at home and Jimmy reluctantly agreed. He did ask Robert not to pick an incredibly fancy restaurant in the neighbourhood, though, because he’d feel completely out of place, so Robert chose a rustic, family-run italian place that he knew made the best pizza he’d ever had. It wasn’t fancy, it was actually a rather small, crammed and cluttered little place, but that was what made it so special, Robert supposed. The kitchen was run by an older lady who barely even spoke english, a real italian mama, and her kids ran the restaurant. It was perfect.

Jimmy gasped in delight when they entered, looking around the small, rustic little restaurant with big eyes. Robert could tell that he immediately took a liking to the place as they took their seats at one of the few rustic, dark wooden tables.

“It smells delicious in here, I’m so hungry...” Jimmy admitted with a smile.

“Me too.” Robert nodded. He turned his attention toward the young waiter as they were asked what they’d like to drink. “Would you like some wine, baby? I can’t have any because I have to drive, but you shouldn’t miss out, they have some of the best wines, here.” He told Jimmy and the younger man bit his lip, then nodded. He asked the waiter to bring some sweet white wine for Jimmy and ordered some coke for himself. The waiter nodded and quickly lit the little candle on their small table, then went to fetch their drinks.

“Aww... this is actually really romantic.” Jimmy smiled at him, running his finger along one of the little imperfections in the wood of their table. “I love this. Thank you for taking me here.”

“You’re welcome. I love it, too.” Robert answered with a wide smile. He was more than happy that Jimmy was enjoying himself. The waiter came back with their drinks, a glass of coke for Robert and a small glass pitcher of wine and an empty glass for Jimmy. The younger man’s eyes widened at the sight of the pitcher and he blushed a little, he’d probably expected a glass of wine only. They were then handed the menu and Robert spent a while trying to decide what to eat. He’d tried their pizza and knew it was great, but he really felt like having something else today, so he picked a pasta dish with a mushroom cream sauce.

“Hmm... I think I’ll have a simple Pizza Margherita, I’m not feeling too adventurous today...” Jimmy said shyly, handing the menu back to the waiter.

“Ooh, you won’t regret it, it may be a simple dish, but it’s absolutely delicious!” The waiter congratulated him on his choice. “You’re gonna feel like you’re on vacation in Italy, I promise!” He added before leaving them again. Jimmy tentatively took a sip of wine and smiled.

“This is so lovely... everything is so perfect.” He sighed and Robert reached across the small table to gently take his hand into his own, caressing it with his thumb. The younger man blushed again and for a moment it looked like he wanted to pull his hand back, but when he looked around and noticed that none of the other guests were paying them any attention, he relaxed. “Won’t they mind...?”

“Mind what, darling? Look at the other couples, they’re all either flirting, holding hands, kissing... it’s fine.” Robert said.

“Well, yes, but... they’re... men and women.” Jimmy said uncomfortably and Robert understood. He didn’t mind public displays of affection in general. He was just afraid somebody would mind because they were both men. He gently squeezed Jimmy’s hand.

“It’s alright, I promise. Nobody cares. They’re way more preoccupied with their own love life to care about ours, trust me.” He chuckled. When Jimmy still looked slightly worried, he leaned in a little more. “Baby, it’s ok. It’s ok to be gay. There’s nothing wrong with it, not in the least. I know it’ll take a while for you to really realize that, but you gotta believe me.” Jimmy blinked at him, then looked down.

“I know. I know that. It’s just... a little difficult to wrap my mind around the fact that I finally get to... just be... myself. Without having to worry about it.” He sighed. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, it feels great... it feels insanely good, but... it’s also a little scary.”

“I understand. You’ll get used to it. By the way, we’re not the only gay couple in here, maybe that’ll make you feel a little better. Don’t turn around right now, but those two women at the table behind us? They’re a couple, too.” Robert smiled. Jimmy waited for a bit, then quickly glanced across his shoulder. At another table, there were two blonde women, talking animated and smiling at each other. One of them was twirling her wine in her glass and the other one reached over to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear. The other woman smiled and took her hand, holding it to her cheek for a moment before letting go. Jimmy turned back to him with a smile.

“Oh my god, they’re adorable!” He whispered and giggled. “Are we that adorable, Robert?”

“Well, I like to think so, yes!” Robert answered and laughed.

“Thank you, by the way... for going out of your way to make me more comfortable with everything. I appreciate that.” Jimmy said and squeezed his hand gently.

“I just want you to feel good, to enjoy yourself.” Robert said.

“I am. I really am.” Jimmy smiled at him.

They continued to talk, about music, movies, art, Robert learned that Jimmy was really into metal and rock music, which they had talked about before, but not in depth, but of course he’d never had a chance to build a collection, so Robert promised him to show him his own collection, which consisted mostly of rock, blues and jazz, as soon as they got home. He also learned that Jimmy was into art and that he’d love to go to art school. He promised him he’d look into it for him.

Their food took a while to arrive and Jimmy had already finished his wine before that. Robert could tell he was getting a little tipsy, more talkative, due to it being on an almost empty stomach, but he didn’t want to let him have his pizza without wine next to it, so he ordered him another to go with it. It’d do him some good to unwind and relax, anyway.

The food was utterly amazing, as always, Robert really enjoyed his pasta and Jimmy actually moaned a little when he took the first bite of his pizza. The blonde chuckled as he watched him, his eyes were closed and he had a look of absolute bliss on his face. By the time they had eaten, the second little pitcher of wine was empty as well and Jimmy was most definitely tipsy now. He was leaning closer to Robert on his table and looking at him with slightly heavy-lidded, glassy eyes and a dopey little smile.

The waiter approached their table with what Robert could only describe as a knowing smile on his face and refilled Jimmy’s pitcher once more. The blonde almost protested, but then again, why would he? The boy didn’t have to drive, he’d just let him have a good time. He hated the fact that the waiter obviously thought he’d been trying to get Jimmy drunk, but he didn’t feel like proving him wrong either.

He got a little worried when the waiter brought a little digestif for each of them, some kind of strong liquor. It wasn’t more than a little sip, but Robert didn’t want to risk anything, having to drive back home, so he gave his to Jimmy as well. He knew that the wine he’d had amounted to more than a bottle by now and with the digestif did a good job of getting the poor boy positively sloshed. Robert paid for their food and drinks, then helped Jimmy into his jacket. He offered him his arm to guide him back outside and into the car. On the way there, the younger man was clinging to him heavily, giggling and rambling on about his favorite band, which Robert most definitely would have to check out sometime soon. He couldn’t help but notice how adorable Jimmy was and how much more talkative he got when he was drunk, he basically hadn’t stopped talking ever since he’d finished his pizza.

He helped the boy into the car, holding his hand until he was safely seated before he went to the other side to get into the car as well. Jimmy turned towards him while he was driving, grinning mischievously as he reached out to put a hand on Robert’s thigh, slowly sneaking upwards. Robert gasped and quickly grabbed his wrist.

“Jimmy, don’t. I’m driving. This is dangerous.” He said and the boy pouted.

“But Robert... I want... hey, how ‘bout road head?” Jimmy offered incoherently.

“No. Absolutely not.” Robert said firmly and shook his head, putting Jimmy’s hand back into his own lap.

“Ok, Ok, I get it, no means no.” Jimmy slurred and leaned back in his seat, but he was still pouting. He made no move to try again, luckily. Instead he started fiddling with the stereo, changing the radio station and making a disgusted face when it played some electronic music. He quickly changed it back when Robert laughed. “Something’s seriously wrong with people who enjoy that kinda music.” He decided, shaking his head. Robert still had a hard time wrapping his mind around the fact that he’d just casually offered to blow him like it’s not a big deal. He almost dreaded what was going to happen once they made it home, but then again, he had it coming, letting Jimmy drink that much.

He pulled up in front of his place and decided to leave the car in front of the garage instead of driving in, he wanted Jimmy inside as quickly as possible, having him pass out in the driveway wouldn’t do. He walked around the car, opened the door for Jimmy and offered his hand to help him out. The boy took it and got up, but stumbled and ended up falling into Robert’s arms.

“Woah, easy!” Robert laughed, holding him close. Jimmy giggled and wrapped his arms around his neck.

“Sorry... ‘m drunk.” He mumbled, then smiled up at Robert happily.

“Yes... yes, you are. Come on, let’s get you inside.” The blonde chuckled, shaking his head as he slowly lead the younger man along the driveway and up the few stairs to his house. As he unlocked the door, Jimmy slid his hand into the back pocket of his jeans and squeezed his ass, giving him a cheeky grin when Robert turned around in surprise.

“You’re awful, do you know that? Get your grabby little hands off of me, you cheeky little...” He trailed off when Jimmy took his hand off of his butt and took hold of Robert’s hand instead, pulling him into the house. He was immediately ‘assaulted’ again, Jimmy wrapped his arms around his neck and kissed him sloppily.

“I want you.” He mumbled against his lips and Robert’s brain almost short-circuited with how hot that was, feeling Jimmy’s body so close to his own and hearing those words, but he was so scared it’d go terribly wrong again or that he was taking advantage of Jimmy’s current state.

“Baby, you’re drunk, you don’t know what you’re saying...” He answered, trying to push Jimmy back a little, but he wouldn’t budge.

“I know... exactly... what I’m saying and what I want.” Jimmy insisted, slowly leaning against him again. He slowed down a bit and kissed Robert again, less sloppily, more slowly and deeply and the blonde let it happen. He tasted sweet, like the wine he’d had, and Robert almost felt like he could get drunk off of those kisses. He felt Jimmy’s fingers slip underneath the hem of his shirt, touching his bare skin lightly and Robert knew he wasn’t going to be able to resist, he was only human after all and he wanted Jimmy just as much. He decided to hold back as much as possible, though, and let the younger man take the lead this time, as he had a suspicion that Jimmy would be much, much more comfortable that way.

He allowed the boy to drag him towards the stairs and helped him out of his leather jacket, putting it across the knob at the end of the handrail. Jimmy clumsily unbuttoned his shirt on the way up while they made out, missing one of the buttons that came flying off when he tried to push it off of Robert’s shoulders. He couldn’t have cared less at that point and let the shirt fall to the floor. When they made it to their bedroom, Jimmy pushed him on the bed and followed immediately to straddle him. He took off his own shirt, just like he did the last time, only this time there was no cast on his hand for it to get caught on. He let it fall to the floor next to the bed, then hesitated for a moment.

Robert just sat there, leaning against the headboard, and let him decide what he wanted to do, what he wanted to happen. Jimmy studied him for a moment and Robert gave him an encouraging smile. To his surprise, the brunette took Robert’s hands and slowly placed them on his bare chest.

“Touch me.” Jimmy requested and the blonde had half a mind to ask him if that was really what he wanted, yet again, but he chose to keep his mouth shut instead and just do what the boy had asked for. Jimmy asking to be touched like that was such a huge turn on for Robert, but he ignored his own needs and desires for now and simply caressed the boy gently, slowly sliding his palms over his chest and shoulders. The younger man sighed happily and leaned into the touch, closing his eyes and smiling softly. He was obviously just following his instincts right now, doing whatever felt good to him and Robert loved it.

“Like this?” He asked in a low voice and Jimmy nodded and bit his lower lip, then took his hands again, which were now resting on his shoulders, and put them back on his chest, arched his back a little and dragged the other’s palms over his nipples. Robert understood what he wanted, he remembered how much Jimmy had liked what he’d done to his nipples the other day, so he started to caress them gently.

“Oh god, yes... like that.” Jimmy gasped and arched his back more. His eyes were still closed and he looked so happy and free and like he was really enjoying himself. Robert couldn’t take his eyes off of him and how gorgeous he was like that.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered and leaned forward a little to pepper gentle kisses across the younger man’s chest. A happy little giggle left Jimmy’s lips as he wrapped his arms around Robert’s shoulders.

“Kiss... kiss my neck.” He said breathlessly, guiding Robert’s head further up and tilting his head a little. The blonde happily complied and did so, all the while caressing his chest as well. Jimmy shuffled even closer on his lap and started grinding against his crotch with a little moan. Robert was surprised to find him hard, considering all the alcohol in his blood, but he definitely wasn’t complaining. He loved how Jimmy told and showed him exactly what he wanted and he prayed that he wouldn’t get self conscious again.

The brunette started moving rhythmically on top of him, gyrating and grinding his hips against him and the way he was moving seemed to come so naturally and he was so sexy that Robert feared his brain would start melting if he got any more turned on. He kept doing what Jimmy had asked for, kissing his neck and gently pinching his nipples, rolling them between his thumb and finger.

He felt the boy’s arousal spiraling out of control very quickly, he started moaning and sighing more and more, whispering little words of encouragement to Robert. This was so completely different than the last time that it sent Robert’s head reeling, he was talking to him and he was so hot and uninhibited, like a completely different person.

Jimmy’s little sighs of _“yes... so good... oh fuck... please... more... Robert”_ got more and more desperate with every time he rubbed against the blonde and soon, Robert felt his whole body stiffen and jerk against him a few times and the boy mewled helplessly before he went slack in the older man’s arms.

Robert wrapped his arms around him and held him close, then gasped when he felt his hand sneak between them and palm him through his pants. He fumbled around a bit to unbutton his jeans and pull his cock out while he mouthed sloppy, wet kisses along Robert’s neck, then started to stroke him clumsily. His movements were uncoordinated and jerky and the blonde knew he wouldn’t get off like that, so he wrapped his hand around the boy’s hand, guiding his movements until he, too, came. He rested his head on Jimmy’s shoulder and held him close.

His heart was screaming _‘iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyou’_ with every beat while his head was yelling _‘shutupshutupshutup’_ at him instead and he chose to listen to his head for now, he was terrified of ruining the moment if he said too much right now. He held the boy close and caressed his back soothingly.

He couldn’t help but chuckle softly when, after a while, he heard a soft snore coming from the younger man, he’d passed out or slept away resting on his shoulder. Robert knew he’d have to clean them both or they’d seriously regret it later, so he carefully lay Jimmy down on the bed. He shimmied out of his own pants and used his boxers to clean himself as well as their hands, throwing them to the floor. He’d have to do laundry in the morning, but he really couldn’t have cared less.

Next, he took off Jimmy’s jeans as well and wiped him clean, then he pulled him back into his arms and threw the covers over the both of them. He nuzzled the boy’s neck and sighed. Part of him was terrified that Jimmy wouldn’t even remember what had happened, that he’d be confused or feel taken advantage of, but another part of him was so happy that it had gone so well. He closed his eyes and let himself fall asleep as well, decided he could worry about it in the morning instead.

-

He was woken up several hours later by Jimmy getting out of bed and staggering into the bathroom. Worried, Robert got up as well, put on a fresh pair of boxers, then followed him. Luckily, he didn’t find him bent over the toilet, he was just standing at the sink, drinking water from the tap and washing or cooling his face. He’d put on Robert’s bathrobe and he looked adorable. Robert leaned against the doorframe.

“Hey... you alright?” He asked carefully. Jimmy took another sip of water, then leaned on the sink and look at him in the mirror. He looked alright, just a little tired.

“Yeah... I’m fine. Just really, really thirsty... and my head hurts.” He said. His voice sounded a little rough. “I’m sorry I got so drunk.” He mumbled. Robert shook his head and came closer to him, wrapping his arms around him gently.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. I was the one who suggested the wine, after all. It’s alright.” He said and pecked his cheek. Jimmy smiled at him.

“I... I had a really good time last evening. Thank you.” He said, covering Robert’s hands with his own.

“Me, too.” Robert agreed. “So do you... remember everything?” He then asked and Jimmy blushed, then nodded.

“Yeah, I... look, I’m sorry if I was too demanding...” He started, but Robert shook his head.

“Jimmy, it’s alright. You were absolutely and utterly perfect.” He said gently. “To be honest... I’ve never been so turned on my life. You were so, so hot...” Jimmy blushed even more and turned around in his arms to face him, then threw him arms around Robert’s neck and hid his face, tucking his head under the blonde’s chin. It took him a while to answer.

“I’m so glad... I’m so, so happy you feel that way. When I woke up and realized what I did, how I behaved, I was... I was so ashamed... but if you liked it... then maybe it’s... ok?” He asked and Robert nodded.

“It’s more than ok, baby, there’s no need to be ashamed. I loved how you told me what you wanted, how you guided me, how you enjoyed yourself... you were amazing.” He said and Jimmy smiled shyly.

“I’ll want to do that again, you know.” He then said, resting his head on Robert’s shoulder once more. “But for now... shall we go back to sleep?”

“Yes. But first, have one of these.” Robert said and went to the medicine cupboard. He pulled out a little sachet with some sort of powder inside. “It’s a hangover remedy, that way you won’t feel so bad tomorrow.” He said and took one of the glasses they kept their toothbrushes in, filled it with water and added the powder. Jimmy took it and drank the whole thing in one go, he was obviously still thirsty. They went back to bed and fell asleep quickly.

They slept in until it was almost noon the next day and when Robert went downstairs to prepare breakfast, he spotted a piece of paper on the floor right in front of the door to his house. Somebody must have pushed it underneath the door. He went and carefully picked it up.

_Get your hands off of the filthy whore, faggot. Throw him out, tell him to leave and don’t let him come back. Tell him that you hate him, break his heart. If you don’t do as I say, you’ll regret it. Do not call the cops._

Robert’s world stopped for a moment while he stared at the words. The letter was typed, printed, there was nothing that would give away who could have written it and Robert didn’t know what to do. He was terrified of what could happen if he did call the police, but he was even more terrified of Jimmy seeing the letter, so he quickly stashed it away in a drawer. His hands were trembling and he felt sick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh-oh. Just when things started looking up...


	13. 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After receiving the threatening note, Robert tried to decide what to do. He comes to the comclusion that he can't let them win and that he's not going to go give in. He also decided he needs to forget, to distract himself and Jimmy helps him with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're going to be exploring both Robert's state of mind a little in this one as well as Jimmy's sexuality.

Robert needed a moment and sat down on the sofa in the living room, resting his head in his hands. He didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t just call the police and risk both of their lives, but he most definitely wasn’t going to try to hurt Jimmy, either. Not that the boy would believe him if he suddenly claimed to hate him, not after all the time he spent reassuring him that he liked him. Not after last night. 

He thought about it for a while and came to the conclusion that whatever they were planning to do to him in case he didn’t follow their order, it couldn’t possibly be that bad. The house had a top notch security system, no way they’d ever get past that. The worst they could do right now was trash his car that was parked outside since last night, but he really couldn’t care less about the old Prius. He was a tad bit worried about what could happen if they left the house, but then again, Officer Grant had said they’d be in touch and he could tell him about the note without actually contacting him by himself. He was pretty sure they’d tapped his phone, not that he’d even use the old landline, but he also wasn’t sure about his mobile.

So for now, they’d have to stay inside the house, luckily he had enough food stored to last them more than a few days. They’d be safe in here. Robert relaxed a little and sighed. He wasn’t going to give up, he definitely wasn’t going to chase Jimmy away and he wasn’t going to let them win. Ever. Now he’d just have to come up with a good reason to stay inside, so he wouldn’t have to tell the boy about the threatening note. Jimmy had really taken a liking to going out with him, whether it was for a walk, shopping, coffee or dinner and he’d be disappointed if they suddenly stopped. Maybe he could fake not feeling well, at least for a few days, depending on how long it’d take the Officers to call them, or drop by.

He looked up from where he was sitting on the sofa when Jimmy entered the living room, finally having finished his shower as well. He didn’t look like he had a hangover as he smiled at Robert and joined him on the sofa. He stayed next to Robert for about a second before he decided to climb into his lap, snuggling close to him. The blonde smiled and wrapped his arms around the boy. He almost felt like crying, but the tears just didn’t come. He just wasn’t somebody who cried easily or at all, really, and even now, it just wasn’t happening even though it probably would have done him good. All he could do for now was hold Jimmy close, take comfort in the familiar peachy scent of his hair and try not to freak out. 

“You know... I had such a great time last night... that I couldn’t help but remember it all, what we did, while I showered...” Jimmy whispered into his ear, then. “Can you guess what I did?”

Under normal circumstances, a confession like that would have sent Robert’s mind straight into the gutter and gotten him right into the mood, but right now, he couldn’t quite get there, no matter how hot the thought of Jimmy touching himself was. He had to at least pretend, though, for Jimmy’s sake. The last thing he wanted was for the younger man to feel rejected. 

“Hmmmhm, I can, but I’d rather not picture it... I only just put on fresh boxers.” He said with a little smile and Jimmy giggled. 

“So you don’t mind...? It’s alright?” He asked shyly and Robert nodded. He was glad to discover the boy had a very normal sex drive for a 19 year old.

“Of course it is. I’m your boyfriend and I’m flattered you thought about me. We had sex and you enjoyed it, of course you’re gonna want to remember it and... well, make use of the memory.” Robert chuckled. 

“Wait. We had sex?” Jimmy then asked, dumbfounded, and Robert looked up at him in surprise. “I thought I remembered everything... I’m not sore or anything...” Only then did it dawn on Robert what the boy meant and he shook his head.

“Jimmy, sex isn’t only penetration.” He said. “We didn’t... but we did touch each other and got off. To me, that’s sex.” He explained. “What was it to you?” 

“Uhm. I guess you’re right.” Jimmy said in a small voice. “I’m just used to... well, usually, until now, sex meant a dick going into a hole, and that didn’t happen, so...” He shrugged, fidgeting. “I didn’t know it worked without that.” Robert’s mind was still threatening to go back to the letter he found earlier, but he forced himself to remain focused for now. Jimmy was more important, especially when it came to a subject like this.

“It definitely does. Look, if I’m touching you with the intention of giving you pleasure, in a sexual way... you can assume we’re having sex, alright?” He explained. “We don’t ever have to do anything more than that if you don’t want to.” Jimmy seemed to think about it for a moment.

“I might not. What if I change my mind, one day, though?” He asked. 

“That’s ok. You can talk to me.” Robert smiled at him encouragingly. “If you do wanna go there, though, it doesn’t have to mean you’d be on the receiving end, by the way. You can top if you like, I don’t mind. At all.” He said and Jimmy’s eyes widened.

“Are you saying... are you really saying you’d let me... you’d let me fuck you?” He asked and Robert laughed at how shocked he was.

“I wouldn’t have phrased it like that, I might have said I’d want you to make love to me, but yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying. I wouldn’t only let you, I’d enjoy it.” He emphasized with a little wink. Jimmy blushed and fidgeted some more, glancing at him shyly. 

“In that case, I think I’d like to do that. A lot.” He admitted. “I thought the smaller or the younger guy always had to be the bottom.” Robert wasn’t all too surprised by that, a lot of people thought that way and it sucked. He shook his head.

“No, that’s just not true. Everybody likes different things, everybody has different needs and those have nothing to do with their size or age or anything like that.” Robert explained. “Being in charge obviously felt good to you and I loved it, too. So that’s one of the things that work for us and that’s cool. I like letting you take the lead.” 

“Really? That’s good...” Jimmy said with a sigh of relief and snuggled close to Robert again. “Thank you... I was afraid you’d find it weird.” He added, then laughed. “This didn’t go the way I thought it would. I wanted to make you horny by telling you what I did in the shower, I didn’t want it to turn into a sex ed lesson.” He pouted. Robert chuckled.

“Why not both?” He asked and nuzzled the boy’s neck. 

“Hmm, both sounds good.” Jimmy said. “Robert...? I never came when I was with somebody, before. I never came thinking about someone, either.” He admitted. The blonde felt a little flattered.

“Well, you did say you’ve never really been with anyone before.” He said. 

“Yes, but... I mean, I’ve had guys try to jerk me off before and I felt nothing. I’ve had crushes when I was in school, but I didn’t feel like that, then. I didn’t want to touch myself thinking about them.” Jimmy admitted, looking slightly confused. “With you, it’s so different, with you, it feels so good.” Robert thought about it for a moment.

“You know, to me, that sounds like you may be demisexual.” He said after a while. Jimmy pulled back and frowned at him.

“I thought I was gay.” He said. “What is that?” 

“Well, people who are demisexual only feel sexually attracted to people they have a deep emotional connection with. Something like you and me.” He explained. “A lot of people are like that, it’s perfectly normal, although a lot of people don’t know that there’s a word for it.” 

“I had no idea. That sounds complicated, though. So if I had that connection with a girl, I could be attracted to a girl?” He asked, then. Robert shrugged.

“I don’t know. Maybe. You know, there’s sexual attraction and romantic attraction. You can be demisexual, but homoromantic, so you’d still only be attracted to men. Some people are homosexual, but hetero- or biromantic.” He said and Jimmy groaned.

“Bloody hell. Now it’s even more complicated! My head’s spinning. How does that even work?” He said, shaking his head. Robert chuckled and rubbed his back soothingly.

“It’s alright. We’ll get you your own computer so you can read up on these things at your own pace, alright? For now, all you need to know is that you’re perfectly normal. You don’t have to label yourself if you don’t want to.” He said. 

“Yeah... I’m good knowing that I’m into you, that’s all I need to know.” Jimmy quipped and cuddled him again. “Sooo, what are we going to do today? Can we go somewhere nice?” He asked and Robert’s face fell.

“Uhm... actually... I thought we could stay in today, I read it’s gonna rain this afternoon...” He said lamely. Jimmy raised an eyebrow.

“Robert, we’re in London, it’s September, of course it’s gonna rain.” He said slowly. 

“Uhm, yes... I mean, I wanted to show you my record collection, remember, we talked about it last evening?” Robert said quickly, trying to save his ass, but Jimmy gave him a suspicious look. 

“Sure. I’d like that.” He said, searching Robert’s face. “Why are you so nervous? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing... everything’s fine, just a little worried you won’t like my music... some stuff is a little... old fashioned.” He said. 

“You’re a terrible liar, Robert.” Jimmy said, sitting back on his lap and crossing his arms in front of his chest. “What aren’t you telling me? Is it something I said?” Robert cursed himself inwardly, he really was an awful liar, he always had been, of course today wasn’t going to be any different. He couldn’t just tell Jimmy what had happened, he’d been so, so happy today and things were really looking up for him, he was really opening up, how could he just crush all that with a few words?

“I... I’m sorry, baby. It’s not you, no.” He sighed after a while. “Something came up, but... I’d rather not talk about it.” Jimmy eyed him suspiciously again.

“So that’s why this didn’t work out the way it should have, you were distracted in the first place.” He concluded. “You should have been all over me after what I told you, but your mind was somewhere else.” 

“Yeah... god, I’m sorry, Jimmy. I don’t want you to feel rejected...” He said, looking up at the boy. He gave him another probing look, then smiled.

“It’s ok. Just don’t try to lie to me anymore, ok? I can tell, I can always tell.” He said and hugged Robert tightly. “If you don’t want to talk about it, I’m not gonna insist, but you know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

“I know... this is just... let’s just sit this one out, alright?” Robert said as he wrapped his arms around Jimmy once more and the brunette nodded in agreement. Robert was relieved, he wouldn’t have known what to do if he had insisted. He felt the boy nuzzle his neck again and kiss that spot right behind his ear gently and he closed his eyes as he let his head fall back against the backrest of the sofa. “Come on, I need some distraction.” He decided after a moment and shooed the boy off of his lap, then took his hand and dragged him upstairs. 

He hadn’t had a chance to show Jimmy the room he’d dedicated to music, yet, they’d always been busy with something else the past three weeks, so when he opened the door to the room, the brunette gasped, looking around with big eyes. Much like Robert’s office, the walls were lined with shelves, only that instead of books, these held all sorts of records, vinyl, cd’s, old tapes, dvd’s, anything and everything one could imagine. The one wall that didn’t have shelves all the way to the ceiling was filled with posters of classic rock bands and old blues singers. Underneath those posters, there was a sideboard with a huge, expensive hifi system that included a record player, dvd player, cd player and a radio, to the side of it there were several huge speakers.

“I told you it’s sorta... well, old fashioned.” Robert said sheepishly as Jimmy stared at the whole set up. In the middle of the room, there were two old, beaten up but insanely comfortable looking armchairs, positioned perfectly in front of the speakers as well as a sort of chaise longue to lounge on. 

“It’s very... you. I love it.” Jimmy said, wandering over to one of the shelves to read the backs of the many records stored there. “How long did it take to build up this whole collection?”

“Well... almost 20 years. I bought my first record when I was... 11 or 12, I think.” Robert said as he watched Jimmy slowly walk along the shelf, occasionally dragging a finger along the back of a record. 

“My parents always told me music is the devil’s work and it’s supposed to seduce us and make us sin.” Jimmy shook his head. “I was never allowed to buy any, let alone listen to it. Especially rock, that was the worst, in their mind.” 

“What a load of bullshit.” Robert groaned and sank down in one of the armchairs. “Music makes people happy. Music brings people together, it’s a way of communication. Music is *awesome*.” He said and Jimmy grinned at him, nodding in agreement. “Pick something you’d like to listen to, put it on.” Robert encouraged the boy and Jimmy took a while until he decided on ‘The Dark Side Of The Moon’ by Pink Floyd, surprising the blonde a little. He’d expected something more modern, but he didn’t complain.

“What? It’s a good one.” Jimmy quipped as he carefully fished the record out of the sleeve. “Uhm. I’ve never used a record player like this one, will you show me how?” He asked, then. Robert chuckled and got up again.

“Yes, little one, let grandpa show you how to do that.” He groaned and Jimmy laughed, slapping his shoulder playfully. 

“Oh shut up, you’re not that old.” He said. Robert took the record from him and put it on, showing him how to put the needle down and everything. Once the music started playing, he pulled Jimmy back over towards the armchairs, sitting down and pulling him into his lap. Robert rested his head on Jimmy’s chest and closed his eyes as they listened to the music and sighed happily when the younger man wrapped his arms around him and caressed his hair. “This is so nice... why haven’t we done that before?” 

“I don’t know... I didn’t think you’d be into it, so I didn’t suggest it...?” Robert offered, shrugging.

“I get to listen to good music, sit in your lap, play with your hair and hold you close. What’s not to like??” Jimmy asked and kissed the top of his head. “This is perfect.” He was so happy and Robert was so scared he’d have to ruin that happiness at some point. Robert nodded in agreement and raised his head a little to bury it in Jimmy’s hair instead.

They listened to the music for a while before Robert carefully got up, letting Jimmy slide to the armchair instead. He went over to the sideboard and opened a door to pull out a bottle of whisky and a tumbler as well as a joint and a lighter. He saw the boy’s dumbfounded, almost shocked expression in the corner of his eye as he poured himself a generous amount, then went back over to Jimmy. He sat on the chaise longue next to the armchair, put his legs up and lit the joint. 

He took a deep drag and looked up at Jimmy, then reached out to pull him closer by the collar of his shirt, kissing him deeply before sharing the smoke from his own lungs with him. Jimmy actually moaned at that.

“Fuck... that was... incredibly fucking hot.” He gasped, staring at Robert in bewilderment. He was clearly turned on, so Robert grinned at him and kissed him again. “You did that on purpose.” Jimmy complained with a pout.

“Of course I did.” He admitted easily and chuckled. “It’s good to feel wanted and I love the way you look at me.” He added, taking another drag before handing the joint to Jimmy. The younger man hesitated for a second before taking it and taking a drag as well, still staring at Robert in disbelief, shocked to see a completely new side of the blonde.

“You don’t just look like a hippy. You ARE a full blown hippy.” He commented, passing the joint back. “You’re pretty cool for an old dude.” He then quipped with a cheeky grin and Robert laughed.

“Watch it.” He said. “You’re not getting any whisky, you had enough alcohol yesterday.” He decided and Jimmy shrugged, he obviously didn’t really mind. Robert had another drag and leaned against the backrest of the chaise longue, towards Jimmy. Damn, he’d needed that so fucking badly and it felt so good right now. He waited for the weed to kick in a little before he took his first sip of whisky, immediately followed by a larger gulp. Jimmy was watching him with a strange mixture of excitement, desire and worry in his eyes. He reached out to gently caress Robert’s cheek, then just along his jaw.

“Won’t you tell me what’s going on? This is so unlike you, drinking, getting high...” He asked gently. Robert closed his eyes and leaned into the caress.

“Is it, though? I used to do this quite often and it’s been a while. I needed this, to unwind a little.” He said. It wasn’t even a lie. The music, the alcohol and the weed where slowly starting to have an effect on him and he started to care less and less. He started to feel invincible again and it was exactly the feeling he’d craved. Nothing mattered, no looming threat, nothing except for him and Jimmy and the music and the drug. He allowed himself to get lost in the blissful ignorance as he finished the joint, passing it to Jimmy only from time to time. He so badly wanted to forget about all the crap happening to them right now and for a while, he almost did.

Once he was done with the joint, he lay down on his belly, his legs up in the air behind him and slowly bobbed his head with the music as he slowly sipped the rest of his whisky. Jimmy was just as sprawled out on the armchair, obviously a little high as well, despite only having had a little, still watching him. Robert could almost feel his eyes on his body and when he looked up, he caught Jimmy slowly letting his gaze wander along the slope of his back and over the curve of his butt. Robert smirked and wriggled said butt a little, lifting his hips off of the chaise longue to exaggerate that curve a little more. He knew he had a great body and he loved the way Jimmy was looking at him. 

“See something you like?” He asked softly, looking at Jimmy through some of his blonde curls that had fallen in front of his face. The younger man briefly looked like he was going to be embarrassed, but then he smiled like he realized that it’s ok, this is his boyfriend, he’s allowed to look.

“Actually, I do. Plenty.” He said, leaning over in his armchair to be closer to Robert. The blonde raised his head a little so they could kiss and Jimmy gently moved his hair away from his face, then leaned in to kiss him, slowly and gently. He reached over to caress Robert’s shoulder, then slowly dragged his hand down the blonde’s back as far as he could reach, to the waistband of his jeans. The gentle touch sent all kinds of pleasant tingles through Robert’s body. Jimmy smiled against his lips as they broke the kiss. “I have no idea what I’m doing.” He admitted.

“It’s ok. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” Robert said. “Come over here, let’s just cuddle?” He suggested and rolled over on his side. Jimmy joined him on the chaise longue and snuggled against his chest. Robert pulled him even closer and tangled their legs, but then Jimmy started trailing soft little kisses along Robert’s exposed collar bone and the blonde shivered. “This is not going to stay innocent for long if you do that.” He warned. 

“Maybe I don’t want it to.” Jimmy whispered into his ear, he was clearly still horny, maybe even more so now than before. Robert sighed and closed his eyes, enjoying the gentle caresses and the way the younger man felt in his arms.

“Only do what you really want to do, ok, baby? Don’t feel pressured to do something you’re not ready for.” He said gently. “Even if you need to stop in the middle of it, that’s ok, too.” Jimmy smiled and nodded.

“I know.” He said as he looked up at the older man. He then kissed the blonde, slowly and deeply as he slid his hand between them to unbutton the colorful shirt he was wearing. Robert helped him by shrugging it off, immediately pulling him closer again as soon as the garment dropped behind him. He’d noticed how important closeness, physical contact was to Jimmy, the more of his body was touching Robert’s, the more comfortable he felt. He’d only freaked out once he’d been lying on the bed and the blonde had gone down on him, leaving him with barely any skin on skin contact. Kissing seemed to help a lot as well, considering it was one of the things Jimmy had never done before, something he only ever shared with Robert. 

“Can I take off your shirt, too?” Robert asked after they’d made out for a bit. Jimmy nodded and let go of him for a bit to let him slowly slide it up his torso and over his head. He immediately glued himself to the blonde’s body again, sighing happily.

“This is the best feeling in the world.” He sighed. “I... I wanna feel more of you. No pants in the way, this time.” He said, then, chewing his lower lip nervously. Robert chuckled.

“Sounds good to me. Very good.” He said and lay back a little to let the boy unbutton his jeans before shimmying out of them. He gave Jimmy a questioning look as he hooked a thumb into the waistband of Jimmy’s sweatpants, then pulled them down when he nodded. Robert didn’t have any time to look at him, Jimmy immediately tangled their legs again as soon as the pants were gone and kissed him. Robert felt him shiver and only then noticed how cool the room was. 

He reached over to pull the soft, woolen blanket that was resting across the edge of the chaise longue over their naked bodies and Jimmy giggled.

“Who the hell has sex underneath a blanket?” He asked, amused. 

“Uhm... people who wanna be warm and comfortable?” Robert suggested with a grin. “I don’t care. I can feel you, that’s all I need.” He added and Jimmy blushed. Robert actually had a suspicion that the boy would be even more comfortable underneath the blanket and indeed, the made no move to pull it off, nor did he complain. He nuzzled the blonde’s neck again and Robert took the hint, starting to kiss and nip at Jimmy’s neck in turn, pulling him even closer and letting his hands slide all over his body, exploring his back, his shoulders, his sides, then lower, sliding along his thigh and over his butt. It didn’t take very long until he felt the boy’s cock hard and hot against his own crotch and he grabbed him by the butt, squeezing ever so slightly and pulling him against himself. He felt Jimmy’s breath coming quickly, in short little puffs against his neck.

“Is this good for you, too?” The brunette asked, clutching at his shoulders. “I mean... last night, you didn’t come from... from the humping.” He asked worriedly and Robert smiled at him gently.

“It feels wonderful to me, yes, but I do need a little more if you want to make me come.” He admitted. “But this isn’t just about me.”

“I know... I... I don’t think I can come like this again, I’m not drunk this time, and if you can’t, I don’t want to, either.” Jimmy said with a pout. 

“What do you wanna do, then?” Robert asked encouragingly and Jimmy blinked at him for a moment, then looked down.

“I don’t know... what can we do?” He asked shyly.

“Pretty much anything, baby. We could keep doing this for a while, we could touch each other, you could show me how to touch you, how you’d like me to touch you or I can hold you and you can touch yourself...” The blonde suggested.

“What...? We can do that?” He asked, surprised, and Robert chuckled.

“Of course. You know your body best, you know exactly what you like and what better way to learn how to pleasure you than to watch you pleasure yourself?” Robert asked. “Or you could guide my hand...” He suggested, then, gently dragging his hand over Jimmy’s butt, then across his hip and towards his crotch. 

The boy shifted a little, disentangling their legs a bit, just enough for Robert to reach him easily. He obviously liked that idea. Jimmy tucked his head underneath the taller man’s chin and gasped as Robert gently grasped his cock, slowly moving his hand up and down. He smiled as he felt the smaller hand cover his own and pull it down his shaft a little, away from the tip.

“I like it... like this... not the head, too sensitive.” Jimmy mumbled, obviously a little embarrassed. Robert made a mental note of that little fact and moved his hand the way Jimmy was showing him. “Yeah... like that...” The younger man gasped once he got it right. 

Robert was a little surprised when Jimmy removed his hand from Robert’s and slid it up the blonde’s back, caressing him, then slowly let it slide down, towards his butt, squeezing a firm buttcheek, then caressing the inside of his thigh just underneath the crease of his leg. Robert chuckled.

“Are you imagining what it’s gonna feel like... when you’re inside of me?” He purred into the younger man’s ear and Jimmy moaned, then nodded as he moved his hand up a little again, caressing his butt. “Can you imagine how good it’s gonna feel? How tight?” He asked and tightened his hand on Jimmy’s cock a little at his words. The smaller man made a helpless little sound and bucked his hips.

“Fuck, Robert...” He gasped and moaned again. “Please don’t stop...” His other hand held on the blonde’s shoulder and he buried his face against his chest, panting softly. He was definitely getting there, but something was holding him back.

“Shh, it’s alright... let go... you’re safe with me, sweet baby.” Robert cooed, then tilted his head a little to reach Jimmy’s neck again, kissing and sucking at it and that was all the boy needed, he shuddered and tensed up in his arms as he came. Robert was more than relieved that he’d managed to make Jimmy come, that he’d managed to make it good for him. He almost regretted that this time, he didn’t get to play with his nipples, but there would be more than enough time for that some other time, he supposed. He held him close and gave him some time, just holding him and caressing his back for a few minutes.

It didn’t take very long for him to recover enough to look up at Robert, his face all flushed and gorgeous, with a little smile. He shyly chewed his lower lip again.

“Show me how you like it?” He then asked and Robert nodded. He briefly reached behind himself to grab his discarded shirt to wipe his hand and Jimmy’s belly. “Eew.” Jimmy commented and crinkled his nose. Robert laughed.

“Laundry. It’s fine.” He said and Jimmy giggled. He allowed Robert to guide his hand from his butt to the front and wrapped his fingers around his cock. “I, unlike you, do enjoy some attention to the tip... but keep your touch light... gentle... not too much pressure... yeah, just slide it up and down like that, only two fingers, like this...” Robert said, guiding his hand. He showed him how to use his foreskin, sliding it over the head before pulling it back again. “Yeah, like that, oh, that’s good.” 

“This is so hot... I love the way you feel in my hand... and the sounds you make...” Jimmy admitted. ”Can I kiss you, too?” He then asked and Robert nodded quickly.

“Yeah... I like that, too. I like when you kiss my neck, too, just like you.” He said, slightly incoherently, the boy was doing a really good job driving him towards the edge very quickly. Jimmy smiled happily, glad that they had something in common, and started doing just that. Robert closed his eyes and allowed himself to get lost in the sensations that were amplified by the alcohol in his system as well as the effects of the weed. He wrapped his arms around the boy again, pulling him a little closer, feeling the need to feel him as close as possible. When Jimmy sucked on his neck hard enough to probably leave a little hickey, Robert was gone, coming hard.

He held the boy even closer, burying his face in his hair, suddenly feeling extremely emotionally raw and vulnerable. Again, he almost felt like crying, but not quite. He’d never been one to get emotional after sex, especially not after a handjob, but with everything that had happened to them in the past few weeks, with how things between them were improving with every single day even though the rest of the world seemed to be against them, Robert couldn’t quite help it. When he pulled back to look at Jimmy, his eyes teared up. The younger man reached up to touch his face, caressing his cheek as he looked at him worriedly.

“Why won’t you tell me what’s wrong...?” He whispered and Robert knew he couldn’t keep it from him any longer, he needed to tell him or he’d simply burst at the seams. “Please tell me, Robert. You’re scaring me, you haven’t quite been yourself all day, and now this?”

“I... fuck, Jimmy... I don’t know how to tell you...” He whispered, buying his face in the glossy black hair once more. He took a deep breath. “I... this morning... I found a letter at the front door... just a note, actually... it... god, please don’t get scared, I promise you’re safe, we’re safe in here, but... someone threatened me, told me to keep my hands off of you and to... to tell you to leave and never come back. They told me to... tell you that I hate you, to break your heart. I can’t do that, how could I ever do that?? You’d never believe me, anyway.” Robert gushed in a single breath. Jimmy looked at him and Robert could almost see the wheels turning in his head as he processed his words. 

“Somebody really, really doesn’t want me to be happy...” He then whispered in a flat voice, his face almost devoid of any emotion, too shocked to feel anything. “Of course I wouldn’t have believed you... not after all we’ve been through, you don’t hate me...” 

“No! I... Jimmy, I love you.” Robert blurted out and this time, a whole range of emotions flickered across the younger man’s face, before his eyes teared up a little as well. 

“I think I love you, too... I mean, I wouldn’t know, I’ve never been in love before, but I think this is what it feels like.” He babbled and hid his face in the crook of Robert’s neck. He sobered up quickly, though. “Robert, what did they write, how did they threaten you?”

“There wasn’t anything... specific, it was pretty vague...They just said I’m going to regret it if I don’t chase you away. They told me not to call the cops, either, of course.” The blonde answered. Jimmy shook his head.

“I can’t... I can’t stay with you... if they’re threatening you, because of *me*, I’ll have to leave! I’ll just go, you don’t even have to try and break my heart...” He said and Robert gasped.

“What?? No! I’m not letting you go! You can’t let them win! *We* can’t let them win!” He said.

“What are we supposed to do? I can’t risk you getting hurt! I just can’t! If you get hurt because of me... I’d never forgive myself!” Jimmy sobbed.

“No, I have a plan, hear me out.” Robert stammered and it occurred to him how bizarre this whole situation was, both of them naked, Jimmy’s hand still covered in his come, having this conversation. He quickly grabbed his shirt again and cleaned them off, which earned him a very confused look, the younger man couldn’t understand how he could possibly care about that right now, but then he continued. “We’re safe in here, I promise. We’ll just wait until Officer Grant calls you again or drops by, then we’ll tell him and he’ll tell us what to do.” Jimmy huffed.

“You don’t know when that’s gonna happen! You have no idea how far they got with their investigation, we just don’t know if they’re gonna call within the next few days or if it’s gonna be weeks!” He spat. “I *have* to leave! I’ll sooner take whatever they’re going to do to me, rather than letting them hurt you.” 

“I’m not letting you leave, Jimmy. I’m not letting them win. We’re going to find out who did this, who is behind all this, and everything is going to be fine!” Robert said. Jimmy shook his head and lowered his gaze. “What about... what about Jonesy? He’s bound to drop by to check on us at some point! We’ll tell him, he’s gonna pretend everything’s fine when he leaves and discreetly tell the police!” 

“What the fuck, Robert? You’d put your own friend in that kind of danger, really?” Jimmy glared at him. 

“It’s our only chance...” The blonde whispered desperately. “If I let you go... they’ll hurt you again.”

“I don’t care!” Jimmy almost yelled. 

“I do! You’re not going anywhere! You’re staying with me, you’re staying safe!” Robert said. “Please, baby, trust me, let’s try this, let’s not let them have their way!” Jimmy went silent for a while, not answering. Robert held him close and kissed the top of his head, hoping he’ll eventually agree and for a while, it seemed like he came around to the idea.

“I... Robert... thank you. For everything. For helping me, for being so sweet, caring and gentle. For showing me what it’s like to be loved.” He eventually whispered and Robert’s eyes widened. That didn’t sound good. It sounded like farewell. “Nobody ever made me feel like this before and I’m so grateful I got to experience this.” 

“Jimmy... you... you’re not saying goodbye, are you?” Robert whispered in shock. “Stop it! Stop it right there!” 

“I... no, no I’m not, it’s alright...” The boy said, a strange little smile on his face that did not reach his eyes. “I’m staying with you.” Robert did not believe him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit's going to go down in the next few chapters... oh boy.


	14. 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy's gone and Robert doesn't know what to do. Then he get's a call from their blackmailers.

They spent the rest of the day cuddling, naked as they were, but Robert noticed how Jimmy felt almost stiff, uncomfortable, in his arms and how quiet he became. No matter what Robert tried to talk about, Jimmy’s answers would be monosyllabic. He couldn’t blame him, of course, given the circumstances, but he’d always been someone who’d rather forget about a problem and pretend it didn’t exist, ignore it, rather than mulling over it. 

They went back downstairs when Robert got a bad case of the munchies (he didn’t smoke weed often, these days, and it hit him harder than usually). He had a few snacks, then started to prepare dinner, but Jimmy barely even ate anything at all. Robert was still terrified that he’d try to run away or just sneak out on him. He wouldn’t know what to do.

He wondered about their blackmailer’s motive most of all. What was this person, or these people, getting out of hurting them, tearing them apart? He didn’t understand and it didn’t make sense to him. 

They tried to watch TV, but neither of them had any interest in that, either and when they went to bed, neither of them actually managed to fall asleep, Robert actively avoided it, too scared that Jimmy would leave if he fell asleep. They held each other, but sleep refused to come, although Jimmy did one hell of a job pretending to be asleep when Robert would whisper to ask him if he was awake, as well. He could tell he wasn’t, but he didn’t receive an answer, either.

Robert must have dozed off sometime towards the morning. When he woke up from an unpleasant dream, not quite a nightmare, his arms were empty and the bed next to his own body was cold. He was wide awake within a split second, sitting up and looking around the room.

“Jimmy?” Nothing. “Jimmy!” He called again and got up, starting to look for the younger man in the guest rooms, the bathroom, the music room, his office, the kitchen and lastly, the living room, but the house was empty. “What did you do, you silly boy...” Robert whispered to himself in shock. He couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that Jimmy was gone, that he’d done something so stupid. Robert had actually been afraid to fall asleep, fearing exactly this would happen. 

When he walked back into the kitchen, he spotted a little note on the counter. 

_ Robert _

_ I’m sorry _

_ I love you _

_ don’t forget me _

_ Jimmy _

The words had obviously been jutted down hastily with a shaking hand right before he left and they felt like a punch in the stomach. Reading those words hurt like hell and they made Robert feel so, so empty inside, they sounded so finite. He slowly sank to the floor, leaning against one of the cupboards in his kitchen, just staring at that sad little note. His mind was completely blank and he didn’t even know how long he just sat there before panic and worry finally started to take over again. It must have been hours or something, by the time he finally realized what he was doing, or rather wasn’t doing, the sun was up.

What if Jimmy got hurt, what if *they* got to him, what if... Robert quickly jumped to his feet and started pacing, clutching Jimmy’s note in his hand. He went to find his phone, all of his worried about his blackmailer forgotten, they had gotten what they wanted after all, the boy was gone, and he called the police. When a young woman’s voice answered, Robert was silent for a moment, before he started stammering.

“Yes, I.. uhm, I want to... I need to file a missing person’s report?” He said, unsure how to proceed.

“Alright, sir, how long has that person been missing?” The young lady asked.

“I... don’t know, a few hours, maybe?” Robert answered.

“I’m sorry, but you need to wait 24 hours before you can file a missing person’s report. They might still show up.” She said.

“What? No, you don’t understand, he’s in danger and he’s missing...”

“Sir, you need to wait 24 hours...” She cut him off and Robert felt both utterly helpless and incredibly furious at the same time.

“Aren’t you listening to me?? He’s in danger and I don’t know where he is!” He yelled.

“I’m sorry, Sir, there’s nothing we can do right now.” She said in that bored sing-song voice, as if she got a million calls just like this one every day. Robert didn’t want to deal with it anymore and hung up, then quickly dialed Officer Grant’s number. The Officer’s phone was switched off. Robert stared at his own phone in disbelief and tried again, then another time, before he roared in anger and flung his phone at the wall where the screen shattered into a million pieces. He’d never felt so helpless and scared before.

He was just about to head out and start looking for Jimmy on his own, when his old landline rang. He did a double take and stopped in his tracks. Nobody ever called him on that anymore, not even his Mom, he just kept it as decoration, mostly. He slowly walked over to the old thing, staring at it as if it had suddenly come to life and stared right back at him, but it just kept ringing. He gingerly reached out and picked up the receiver. 

“Hello?” 

“Robert, mate! How are you, chap?!” A bubbly, excited voice greeted him and he was even more confused, he didn’t recognize the man’s voice, at all. He had no idea who he was talking to. 

“Uhm... who is this?” He asked slowly, clutching the old, black receiver tightly in his hand.

“Hmm, sounding a tad bit stressed right there, my friend, it’s not going too well right now, is it?” The voice at the other end replied and the almost maniacal laughter that followed made Robert’s blood freeze. 

“Who is this?!” He asked again, clutching the receiver so hard by now that he heard the plastic creak in his hand.

“Now, let’s all calm down, I’m sure we can fix this, chap.” The guy said and laughed again. “We have something you might want back.” He then added and Robert almost dropped the receiver this time. Somewhere in the background, he heard a slapping sound and pained little groan. Jimmy’s voice.. They had Jimmy. He was silent while he processed what was happening. 

“You sick fucking bastard.” He growled once he found his voice again. “Leave him alone, let him go! What did he do to you, what do you WANT?” He yelled.

“Take a good guess, mate, what could we possibly want?” The other man snarled. 

“Do you want money? I’ll give you whatever you want, just leave Jimmy alone, please.” Robert gasped desperately.

“Bingo! You’re a smart cookie, aren’t you? I just knew it’d be a pleasure to do business with you, Robert.” The crazy guy said and laughed again, he sounded positively giddy. 

“How much?” Robert pressed out between clenched teeth. 

“Hmmm, let’s say... let’s start with 2 million, one for each of his ears? If you fail to deliver, you’ll get them in mail. How does that sound, hm?” He said. That amount of money was a lot, even for Robert, but he could probably do it. His brain started working overtime, already coming up with ideas how to get that sum as quickly as possible.

“Yes. No problem.” He agreed. “Just, fuck, please don’t hurt Jimmy, please.” 

“Aww, but it’s so much fun, those little sounds he makes are just so adorable, aren’t they??” The guy sang happily. “But alright, we won’t touch him as long as you get the money here by noon, tomorrow. Deal?”

“Get it where?” Robert asked, confused. The guy gave him the location of an old, abandoned factory on the outskirts of town. Robert frowned. “Wait a minute. Are you saying you want the money... you want all that money... cash??” He asked in disbelief. The guy on the other end of the line laughed loudly.

“Well, of course, my friend! What, did you expect us to give you an account number or something so you can just transfer the money??” He howled. Robert shook his head in disbelief.

“Are you mental?? Have you watched too many action movies?? Where the fuck am I supposed to get 2 million pounds in cash within a single day?! Banks don’t even *have* that much money, let alone let anyone withdraw such an amount!” He yelled. There was silence on the other end for a moment. 

“You’re not wrong, you’re not wrong...” The guy mused for a moment. “Alright, you’ve been such a good boy, we’ll be nice to you as well, here’s the deal: Get as much as you can and we’ll see if it’s enough. If it isn’t, well, I guess you’ll be leaving with a part of your precious little boy toy rather than all of him.” The guy said, followed by more maniacal laughter.

“How the fuck am I supposed to know what’s “enough” to you?!” Robert asked desperately. 

“You’ll just have to take a chance, I suppose! That’s part of the fun, Robert, it’s a game! Oh, by the way, in case we even *suspect* you called the police, your little whore is *dead*.” He laughed, then he hung up. Robert stood there with the receiver in his hand for a while before he finally moved again, lowering it slowly. He just didn’t know what to do. He had no idea how much money he’d be able to withdraw from his account and several of the accounts his firm held and he had no idea if it was going to be enough. He was beyond terrified, so much so that he felt himself slowly going numb to it all. It was like his mind couldn’t deal with it any longer so he simply shut off completely, acting purely on instinct. 

He felt more like some sort of robot than a human being as he slowly took his keys and his wallet and drove off. First of all, he went to the bank that held his personal account and withdrew as much as he could from the ATM (only 300 £), then went to the counter. They only let him withdraw 2500 £, but it’d have to do. He knew he’d be able to get more from the accounts that were registered to his firm. 

He drove to the other bank and waited for his turn at the counter. 

“How much money can I withdraw from a business account?” He asked as he slid his id card across the counter. 

“100.000 £, Sir.” The clerk said and Robert breathed a sigh of relief. He’d expected it to be a lot less, but that was quite a bit of money. 

“Alright, I’d like to withdraw that amount each from the 3 accounts registered to Númenor Publishing, then.” He said quickly, pulling the papers that proved him to be the CEO of said firm out of his wallet. The clerk looked at him suspiciously, but then he nodded slowly.

“Of course, Mr. Plant, but we can’t do that here at the counter, please follow me to the back office.” He said as he returned Robert’s id card. The blonde quickly followed the clerk and was sat down in an office and told to fill out three forms, one for each of the accounts. 

Almost two hours later, Robert finally left the bank with a suitcase full of cash. It had been a big deal, they’d wanted to know exactly what he needed the money for and he had to fill out the exact same form three times. He’d jotted down that the firm was planning to buy more property for a second little office in town and it had to be paid in cash. A load of bullshit, but Robert was desperate. He ended up with 302.800 £, not nearly as much as they wanted, but it was all Robert could do right now. 

He immediately drove to the abandoned factory the crazy guy had mentioned. He found it easily enough, but when he got there, it occurred to him that he had no way of alerting them to his presence. He got the little suitcase out of the car and walked towards the main brick building with all it’s broken glass windows, but it didn’t look like anybody was there. It seemed to be completely abandoned, there were no cars around, either. 

Robert started walking around the building, looking around, and just when he rounded another corner, he was suddenly whacked in the head and his world went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh-oh... :(


	15. 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both Robert and Jimmy have been abducted. Are they going to get away?

His head hurt. It was spinning, too. He couldn’t move and he didn’t want to open his eyes. He groaned when he did anyway, assaulted by the rays of sunlight filtering through the barred windows. He squinted and when his eyes focused, the first thing Robert saw, was Jimmy. Facing him, tied to an old wooden chair, his boy was sitting there, looking at him worriedly. It took Robert a moment to realize what had happened, and when he did, he gasped.

“Jimmy! Oh my god, are you alright?” He said, then groaned at the sudden surge of pain in his head. 

“Yeah, I’m... I’m ok.” Jimmy whispered in a small voice. Robert looked him over and he didn’t seem to be injured at all. “How about you?”

“Head hurts...” Robert said, then started looking around. They were in some kind of large, industrial looking hall, most likely a part of the old factory. The walls were made of bricks, there was one giant metal double door, more of a gate, really, and a smaller one of the other side. The windows were high up and barred, most of them broken. When he tried to move, Robert noticed that he, just like Jimmy, was also tied to a chair. They had used tape on Jimmy, just Robert was tied down with rope. He frowned and tugged at it, but of course it wouldn’t budge. 

“Why did you come here?” Jimmy whispered sadly. Robert stared at him in disbelief. The boy didn’t look scared, for all it’s worth he looked like he’d given up, resigned himself to his fate, like he just didn’t care anymore.

“Because they were going to kill you if I didn’t?” He asked, bewildered. “You heard them.” He added and Jimmy shrugged.

“So? I’m not worth it, Robert.” He said flatly, lowering his head. 

“Bullshit! I... I would do anything for you.” He said. “Where are they?” They didn’t have time for deep conversations right now, Robert needed to figure out how to get them out of here. 

“They left a while ago, I don’t know. Said they’ll be back soon, though.” Jimmy shrugged. 

“They didn’t hurt you, did they?” Robert asked. Jimmy shook his head.

“No... not much. Just a few slaps.” He sighed.

“How many are there? I only talked to the crazy one.” Robert asked.

“Three. The one you talked to and his brothers. The one you talked to is the most dangerous one. Try not to upset him, he freaks out easily. The others are more... reasonable.” Jimmy warned. “He’s the one who broke my ribs, remember, I told you about that.” He said and Robert gasped.

“They’re the ones who... oh fuck...” He groaned. Of course they were, it made a little more sense now, although not a whole lot. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t made the connection before and that he’d talked to one of Jimmy’s rapists and now he was in their clutches as well. He didn’t have a lot of time to dwell on that as one of the large metal doors was opened and three men came in. They locked and secured the door again before walking over to where Robert and Jimmy were sitting. 

One of them was very tall and lanky, had shaggy, dirty blonde hair and a crazy look in his eyes, the two other men looked very similar, their faces did, at least, they were shorter than their brother, stockier, one of them had very short brown hair, almost a buzzcut, while the other’s brown hair was slightly longer and gelled back. They both had beards. Twins? Robert wasn’t entirely sure. They all looked to be in their 30s, maybe a little older than Robert. They were all wearing all black, very simple, unsuspicious outfits.

“Oh, look at that, sleeping beauty is back with us!” The tall, blonde one said cheerfully and laughed, actually clapping his hands in delight. “Good morning, Robert! How are you?” He asked, coming closer to slap his shoulder like they were old friends. Robert just glared at him. The crazy guy sighed and rolled his eyes dramatically. “Don’t be like that, mate, come on! Look, you’re back with your little whore, reunited, aren’t you happy?” 

“Don’t call him that, you sick bastard!” Robert spat and shrugged his hand off of his shoulder. He saw his eyes flash dangerously before he was roughly backhanded across the face hard enough to make his head snap around. He groaned at the explosion of pain in his head and heard Jimmy’s scared little whimper.

“Lenny! Stop that!” One of the shorter men barked and grabbed the taller one by the shoulder, pulling him away from Robert. “You’re gonna get us in trouble again!” 

“But Arthur! Did you hear what he called me?” Lenny complained and pouted almost comically, pushing his lower lip out as far as he possibly could as he pointed at Robert, gesticulating wildly. 

“Yes. Alan and I call you that all the time. Chill.” Arthur rolled his eyes and Lenny glared at him, then stomped over to the other end of the hall like an insolent child and started rummaging in a backpack, pulled out a phone and sat down, playing with it, while shooting glares at his brothers from time to time.

Alan and Arthur stayed closer to Robert and Jimmy, talking softly between themselves, low enough so Robert couldn’t pick up what they were saying. After a while, one of them, Alan, came over. 

“We’ve left your assistant a little message that we have his boss. If they want you back, they’ll have to pay.” He said. Obviously the whole thing with the cash had just been a ploy to lure him here. Robert shrugged. He wasn’t even worried about that, he knew they were either going to do exactly as they were told to get Robert out of here safely, or they’d do what every sane person would have done, what Robert should have done, and went to the police.

“Why me? Why us? Aren’t there much richer people you could have abducted to get much more money?” Robert asked. “You’re not going to get more than a few millions out of me, I don’t have more than that, neither does Númenor Publishing.” Alan shrugged.

“It’s enough for us, innit? Enough to leave the country, buy a house somewhere and not have to worry about it anymore.” He shrugged. “Since we were already involved and didn’t get paid as much as we were promised for fucking the shit out of the little one over there...” He added and Robert felt his blood boil with rage. 

“Who the fuck paid you to do that? Who would hire someone for that??” He yelled, struggling against the rope. Lenny had gotten up from where he’d been sitting on the floor and strolled over happily, obviously having calmed down. He stayed silent for now, though, just listening with a happy little smile on his goofy face. 

“Well, his parents, of course. They really, really wanted to help their child... er... ‘find the right way’, they said, I think.” Alan answered. Robert’s heart dropped when he heard another pained little whimper escape Jimmy’s mouth at those words. He’d lowered his head even more, hiding behind his curtain of hair. He obviously hadn’t known that either, yet, and learning about it must have felt like a punch in the stomach. “Thought if we fucked him hard enough he wouldn’t wanna take it up the arse anymore, but... looks like they were wrong.” Alan grinned. Lenny squealed in delight and clapped his hands again.

“Yes, can you imagine their faces when they found out about the two of you, my little lovebirds??!” He sang. “They thought we’d cure their little whore of a son, but no, oh no, he goes and falls in love! With a guy, despite everything! Oh, it was awesome, they were so mad!”

“Well, it wasn’t *that* awesome for us, we didn’t get paid as much as we were promised because obviously, we clearly hadn’t done the job well enough, at least in their eyes, you see. But can you imagine our surprise when we found out the guy he fell in love with was a millionaire? So much richer than his parents! We were going to get our money after all! We just had to get him out of that fortress of yours, and now we’ve got both of you. Let’s wait and see if they really want you back, if you’ve been a good boss or not!” Arthur explained. Robert groaned, this whole thing was just one huge nightmare. He didn’t even know how to handle this, but right now he couldn’t do anything anyway, he’d have to just sit and wait for his assistant to somehow pay the ransom or get the police involved. 

He wasn’t too worried about Alan and Arthur, they probably wouldn’t do anything without thinking it through, they didn’t seem like it at least, but he was definitely worried about Lenny, he was just too unpredictable. He prayed that they wouldn’t leave them alone with him, but his prayers fell on deaf ears, after a while the three brothers talked between themselves for a bit before Arthur and Alan left, leaving Lenny to keep an eye on them. Robert wasn’t quite sure why they’d trust him with that and it made him very nervous. 

At first, everything seemed fine, Lenny sat back down on the floor and played with his phone, but he got bored with that after a while. That’s what Robert had been worried about. They’d both been silent, too afraid to talk and get Lenny all excited again when he had just settled down, but when he got bored, he came back over to them again. He crouched down close to them and rested his arms on his knees, then his head in his palms and grinned at them. 

“You two make an odd couple, you know that?” He asked. Jimmy was still hiding behind his hair and Robert just glared at the lanky man. He could already feel the anger build up inside of himself at the sight of him. “I mean, who would have thought, it’s like a fairytale or some chick flick, the worthless, dirty whore and the rich, handsome gentleman...”

“Shut up, you piece of shit!” Robert yelled, jerking in his chair hard enough for the wood to creak. Lenny laughed and clapped his hands, happy he got a rise out of Robert. Jimmy didn’t even react. 

“I would have said he’s just with you because of your money and you only let him stay for his tight little ass, but no, you two actually love each other, I can tell! Isn’t that amazing?” Lenny warbled happily, then got up from where he’d crouched down. “Now, do you think you’re still gonna want him after I’m done with him?” He then asked Robert, walking over to Jimmy. “I didn’t get to fuck him, a few weeks ago, you know, because my brothers were so scared I’d kill him, but now I think I’ll take the chance!” 

“Get. Away. From. Him.” Robert growled, struggling against the rope. He wasn’t going to let his happen, no matter what it took. Even if it’d be the last thing he’d do, even if it killed him, he wouldn’t let this monster rape Jimmy, in front of his eyes.

“Why? It’s going to be even more fun with you watching!” Lenny quipped. He’d walked over to Jimmy and now started groping him. The boy made a strangled, scared little sound, trying to jerk away from the tall, lanky man, but to no avail. Robert frantically looked around the room for something to help him, anything, but he didn’t see anything that would be of any use. He noticed that they’d neglected to tie his legs to the legs of the chair, though, so technically, he could get up. 

Jimmy seemed to snap out of his stupor and glared up at Lenny, then spat in his face and kicked his shin hard enough for the men to stagger backwards, wiping at his face in surprise.

Robert seized the opportunity, using the element of surprise to his advantage and got up, the chair still tied to his arms, chest and shoulders, and charged at Lenny, tackling him to the ground. They both tumbled to the floor and Robert cried out in pain as he fell, the chair underneath him. Something broke, at first Robert wasn’t sure if it was his arm or the chair, but when there was no searing pain and he could move just fine, he dared to open his eyes. 

Lenny was on the floor several feet away from him, the backrest and one of armrest of his chair had broken from the impact with the floor and the rope was unraveling. Before Lenny could realize what was going on, Robert got back up on his feet as quickly as he could and started shrugging off as much of the rope as he could. The other man was getting up, too, though, and now charged at Robert in turn. 

Robert grabbed the broken backrest of the chair and swung it at Lenny, hitting him square in the face and making him stumble back again, clutching at his nose. Robert grabbed the rope that was still dangling from his wrists and tackled the slightly taller man again while he was still busy clutching at his bleeding nose and wrapped the rope around his throat as soon as he lowered his hands to fight Robert off. 

Pulling as hard as he possibly could, Robert tightened the rope around the other’s throat until he was making choking, gurgling sounds and started grabbing at Robert’s arms. He was strong and Robert had no idea how long he’d be able to keep this up, the pain in his head from being knocked out was insane, he probably had a concussion, but he couldn’t give up, the only thought in his mind was Jimmy. He had to do this for Jimmy, he had to be strong for Jimmy, no matter the cost. 

Just when he thought he couldn’t do it anymore, when he thought he couldn’t fight Lenny’s arms trying to pull him off of him anymore, when he thought he was going to pass out from the exertion, Lenny’s eyes rolled back in his head, he made a few more choking gasps, then his arms went lax, stopping their pulling at Robert’s wrists, and he slowly sank to the floor. Robert went with him, panting harshly as he kept up the tension of the rope for just a while longer, just to make sure he was really passed out, then he let go of the rope. 

Looking down at the unconscious man underneath him, Robert felt another wave of rage wash over him and he raised his fist, throwing a punch at the other man’s face, hard enough to hurt his own knuckles, then another one, and another. He was so angry at this monster who’d hurt and traumatized his Jimmy, he didn’t stop until his fist was covered in blood, his own, Lenny’s, he didn’t even care. He beat on the unconscious body until he snapped out of it, getting up and staggering backwards in shock at what he’d done. 

“Fuck...” He cursed, dropping the last bits of rope. “I almost killed him... fuck...” He gasped, shaking his head. He’d almost killed a man and ended up in jail himself, how could he have been so stupid? He couldn’t even have pleaded self-defence, not even in their situation, the man had already been unconscious. He turned around slowly to see Jimmy staring at him with wide, scared eyes. 

“Oh god, baby... are you alright?” He asked, rushing to Jimmy’s side. “Did he hurt you?” He asked and the younger man shook his head. “We have to get off that tape...” Robert mumbled, starting to tear at it, but it’d take too long, especially with his bloody, trembling hands. He looked around and spotted some glass shards at the far wall, where one of the windows had broken. He quickly went and picked up one of the shards, using it to carefully cut the tape along the chair, away from Jimmy’s arms so he wouldn’t accidentally hurt him.

“We have to get out of here...” Robert said once he was done and Jimmy was free, frantically looking around. He rushed to the big, wide double door and tried to open it, but they must have secured it from the outside, it didn’t budge. He rushed to the other side of the old factory hall and tried the smaller door as well, but it didn’t budge either. He cursed. “They locked us in here with that loony!” 

He looked over at Jimmy who was absentmindedly plucking pieces of tape off of his clothes and arms, then started looking around as well, looking for a way out. He gasped, then, and came over to Robert, tugging at his sleeve and pointing upwards to one of the barred windows. This one was broken, like most of the other, but its bars had come down, as well, so it was accessible, or it would be, if they could get up there. It was big enough for them to fit through, too. 

“Yeah... you’re right, that’s our only chance...” He sighed. “Help me move that table and your chair.” He said and they quickly pulled one of the old wooden tables as well as the chair Jimmy had been tied to underneath the window. “You go first, I’ll help you.” Robert said, climbing on the table to help Jimmy up. He’d noticed that the brunette had gone completely non-verbal again, but it was ok, he was still communicating and working with him. He took Jimmy’s hand and helped him on the chair they had put on the table, and when the boy reached up to hoist himself up towards and through the window, he took his legs on his shoulders and pushed, helping him through. He heard Jimmy’s feet hit the ground outside and breathed a sigh of relief. At least his boy was safe.

Getting up there by himself without help wouldn’t be easy, especially in his current state, but he’d just have to do his best. He got onto the chair and grabbed onto the ledge, hoisting himself up. Since he had no one to push from behind, he had to throw his leg up on the ledge as well and get up that way. When he got his right leg up there as well and pulled himself up, he cried out in pain. A glass shard, that had still been clinging to the metal frame, had dug itself into the outside of his thigh, deeply. Robert struggled not to pass out right there, instant nausea hitting him. He held on to the window frame for a moment, taking a few deep breaths, before slowly lowering himself out of the window, letting himself drop to the floor with another cry of pain as his legs hit the floor. 

Jimmy immediately rushed to his side with a terrified expression on his face, looking at the stain of blood slowly spreading all over the right side of Robert’s light blue jeans. 

“I’ll be fine.” Robert gasped, struggling to get back up on his feet. “We have to get away from here before they get back, come on. Help me up.” He said and Jimmy put his arm around his shoulder, supporting him as they started to slowly limp away from the old building. “Let’s... get over there, towards those trees...” Robert said, hoping they’d hide them a little better, just in case Alan and Arthur were already on their way back. 

After slowly limping through the woods for almost half an hour, Robert spotted movement through the trees. They stopped in their tracks and hid behind some bushes, waiting and watching. 

“It’s a S.W.A.T. team! They must be here for us!” Robert gasped in relief once he recognized the uniformed men. “Come on, we have to get to them!” They started limping towards the police men and Robert was a little apprehensive about calling out for help, he didn’t want to accidentally get shot, they were all carrying assault rifles, but he was feeling worse by the minute, the bleeding still hadn’t stopped, his head was killing him and he was getting dizzier and dizzier, leaning on the poor skinny boy more and more heavily. 

When he did call out, they both found themselves facing about 10 assault rifles pointed at them and they quickly raised their free hands. Of course it didn’t take the police men long to figure out whom they had stumbled upon, they were looking for them after all and knew exactly what they looked like and the rifles were lowered, two of them rushed over to support Robert instead of Jimmy, who wouldn’t have been able to hold him up any longer. 

“Get that ambulance over here quickly, we’ve got them!” One of them barked into the microphone built into his helmet. “One of ‘em’s injured, leg’s bleeding.” 

Leaning heavily on the two policemen, Robert let the relief wash over him. He couldn’t believe they’d gotten away, they were safe. He glanced over at Jimmy who still looked utterly terrified, but relieved as well. Robert gave him a little smile that Jimmy tried to return, but it was more of a cringe than anything else. The blonde couldn’t blame him. In the distance, he saw several cars as well as an ambulance rushing towards them.

“In the factory over there... there’s an unconscious guy... one of the guys who abducted Jimmy.” Robert said. “He’s injured, too, I had to... fight him.” The police man to his right nodded. 

“Alright, we’ll sent a team over there.” He confirmed. The ambulance finally arrived in front of them and Robert felt himself deflate, all the tension and fear from the past few hours, the past day, finally leaving his body. They made it, they were safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D They made it. What a fucking rollercoaster this story is, it's so much fun to write. Let me know what you thought!


	16. 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert is taken to a hospital and they speak to Officers Grant and Bonham.

A doctor immediately came to tend to Robert’s leg, helping him out of his pants and stopping the bleeding before the blonde was helped into the ambulance. A painkiller was given to him as soon as he was in there. Jimmy made a distressed little noise when someone tried to drag him away from the ambulance and Robert.

“He’s staying with me.” Robert said firmly and held out a hand for Jimmy to take, which the brunette immediately did. He climbed into the ambulance as well and sat on the stretcher next to Robert, holding on to his hand tightly. 

He looked down at Robert’s leg, at the pressure bandage that had stopped the bleeding for now, and chewed his lower lip worriedly. The blonde squeezed his hand gently.

“I know what you’re thinking, Jimmy, but none of this is your fault, do you hear me?” He said and Jimmy nodded, but he didn’t look convinced. “Baby... it’s not your fault. I know you’re thinking that if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have gotten dragged into this, I wouldn’t have gotten hurt. But then... I wouldn’t have met you, I wouldn’t have gotten to know you and we... wouldn’t be together. I love you and I’d do anything for you. We made it through this, it’s over now.” Robert said and Jimmy blinked at him, then turned a little and hugged him awkwardly, burying his face in the crook of Robert’s neck. The blonde smiled and hugged him back as much as he could in this position. “Shh, it’s alright.”

Jimmy then looked down at his leg again and worriedly glanced at the doctor who was riding in the back of the ambulance with them, then back at Robert, chewing his lip again, he looked very distressed and like he wanted to ask something and couldn’t, but Robert understood.

“I think he wants to know if I’m going to be fine.” He guessed and Jimmy nodded, looking at the doctor again who gave him a curious look, then nodded as well.

“Yes, he’ll be just fine, don’t you worry. We’re going to clean the wound as soon as we get to the hospital and he’s going to get a few stitches. It’s going to leave a bit of a scar, I fear, but other than that, he’s going to be fine, I promise.” He said gently. Jimmy breathed a sigh of relief and squeezed Robert’s hand again. The doctor then addressed Robert again. “When was your last tetanus shot?” 

“Uhm. Sometime last year, actually.” He said. He’d planned a vacation in several exotic locations and he’d made sure he had all the necessary shots beforehand, but then decided against the vacation, he just hadn’t felt like going alone, without Maureen.

“Good, good. We may still have to put you on antibiotics, we’ll see. Any other injuries we should have a look at?” The doctor asked. 

“Well... I got whacked in the head pretty badly, been feeling nauseous ever since. I banged my knuckles up beating up that guy...” Robert sighed. “But other than that, I think I’m fine.”

“Alright, we’ll have a look at it. How about you?” He then asked Jimmy and the boy shrugged, then shook his head. 

“He can’t... he can’t talk right now. It’s ok, baby, just take your time, there’s no pressure.” Robert cooed and Jimmy hugged him again, grateful that Robert understood and didn’t try to pressure him into talking. “I don’t think he’s injured, though. Just... traumatized, I suppose.”

“Has this happened before?” The doctor asked carefully and Robert nodded. 

“Yes. It just took him a while before he was able to talk again. He’ll be... fine.” He said, holding Jimmy close with one arm. The doctor nodded and let it go for now so they spent the rest of the ride to the hospital in silence. The painkiller was starting to kick in and he felt a little better, but the nausea was getting worse. He tried to fight it back, but it just kept growing. By the time they made it to the hospital, he had to actively hold back from retching. 

He was brought into a room where the doctor took off the pressure bandage and started cleaning his wound. Despite the painkillers and the local anesthetic, the pain was almost unbearable. Jimmy held him through it and Robert buried his face in his chest, groaning.

“I... I’m gonna be sick...” He warned and one of the nurses immediately rushed to his side with a bucket while Jimmy held his hair as he emptied the contents of his stomach (which wasn’t much, neither of them had eaten since the day before). The nurse must have seen Jimmy’s worried face and patted his shoulder gently.

“Don’t you worry, your boyfriend is going to be fine. He has a concussion, this is quite normal. We’re gonna patch him right up, I promise, we’ll take good care of him.” She told him with a little smile. “I’m gonna get an IV ready with fluids, to replace what he’s lost, something against the pain and something against the nausea and then he’ll just have to rest for a while and he’ll be all better.” Robert rinsed his mouth with the water she handed him and gave her a grateful smile, he was glad they weren’t just taking care of him, but of Jimmy as well.

“I’m sorry you had to see this...” He said. “But then again, now we’ve both seen each other at our worst, we’re even now.” He chuckled and Jimmy managed to give him the tiniest little hint of a smile in turn. He still looked incredibly guilty and worried, though. He pulled Robert back into his arms as the doctor started closing the wound and the blonde was grateful to be held, he’d never been injured before and it was incredibly painful. Once the wound was closed, it was dressed and Robert was brought to his room where he could just rest, put in a new hospital bed and was put on a drip. 

Jimmy insisted on staying with him and as soon as the nurse and the doctor had left the room, he climbed into Robert’s bed, underneath the blanket and snuggled up to him. The blonde couldn’t help but chuckle at that.

“Sweet baby... we made it. It’s all over, it’s gonna be fine now.” He whispered and kissed the top of Jimmy’s head. “They’re going to go to jail and they’ll never be able to hurt you again. Ever.” 

“They hurt me enough to last me a lifetime, anyway.” Jimmy whispered and Robert was almost surprised to hear his voice, but he was also relieved to hear it, at the same time. 

“Or several lifetimes... I can’t believe they’d do that.” Robert sighed. He still had a hard time wrapping his mind around the fact that Jimmy’s parents would do that, even after what the boy had told him about them.

“Honestly? I’m not even surprised. I’m just surprised they’re stupid enough to think it’d work.” Jimmy huffed. “It only made it harder to have a normal life and a normal relationship. It didn’t stop me from falling in love with you. It didn’t even stop you from liking me back.”

“Of course it didn’t.” Robert said, shocked that Jimmy would think that. “I told you it doesn’t change the way I see you. You’re an amazing person and I couldn’t help falling in love with you, too.” He added and held the boy a little tighter. “How do you feel now?” 

“I... don’t know?” Jimmy said helplessly. “Numb, in a way, I guess. It’s hard to describe. I still can’t believe you fought that guy for me. I thought stuff like that only ever happened in movies.” Robert huffed.

“I can’t believe I did that, either, but I wasn’t going to let him hurt you! When I saw him touching you... I just... saw red. If you hadn’t distracted him, though... I don’t think I would have managed. We were so fucking lucky. If you hadn’t spat in his eye, if that chair hadn’t broken...”

“Stop.” Jimmy cut him off. “Don’t say it, don’t even think of it!” He added and Robert nodded. It was for the better, he didn’t want to picture what would have happened if he hadn’t been that incredibly lucky. The younger man sighed heavily. “I’m so fucking ready to feel good things, Robert, but I’m so scared to hope, now. What if it’s not over, what if they’ll find other ways to torture me, what if...”

“Now you stop!” Robert said, echoing Jimmy, and the boy looked up at him in surprise, then smiled. “This isn’t helping, either.”

“You’re right. Sorry. It’s just... I was feeling so good, I was finally ready to... to heal, to let go of the past, I was looking forward to the future, our future, and then... you found that note and now I’m scared. What if I allow myself to relax and feel good again, and then... and then...” He admitted, hiding his face in Robert’s hair. 

“I understand... but hey... we got through this... we can do anything.” Robert said. “At least I feel like we can. We’ll be fine. You’ll be fine.” He said, caressing the other’s hair. “Did you really fear I’d forget you?” He then asked, remembering Jimmy’s note. “We spent the past 4 weeks together, 24/7, I held you close for days on end, we’ve been through so much, in such a short time... how could I ever forget you?”

“I don’t know... I thought... I honestly thought I was never gonna see you again. I thought if I left and never looked back, they’d leave you alone. I just wanted you to... remember me, at least.” He whispered. “I’m sorry I left.”

“It’s ok... you did it to protect me... you had no idea that that was exactly what they wanted.” Robert sighed and squeezed Jimmy’s shoulder. The meds were working and he was starting to feel better by the minute, the nausea slowly waning. His head was still pounding and his leg was throbbing, but it was starting to be more bearable. 

“I’m just... so fucking scared, Robert.” Jimmy said. He was clutching at Robert’s shirt and burrowing closer and closer. “I’m so terrified it’s... it’s never gonna end. That they’re gonna keep coming after me, after us!” He explained. He was starting to hyperventilate and tremble. 

“Shhh... it’s alright, we’re safe now...” Robert cooed and held him closer, but it didn’t help. “Jimmy, calm down, it’s ok...” It wasn’t working, the brunette was still hyperventilating, unable to stop. Robert could tell words wouldn’t help much right now, Jimmy was spiraling further into it all, so he took his hand and put it on his chest. “Here, can you feel me? Come on, breathe with me.. slowly... inhale... exhale... just like me...” He guided Jimmy and took a moment for him to catch on and he struggled a little, but then he did what Robert told him and matched his breathing to the other man’s. It took him a few more minutes to fully calm down. 

“Fuck... did I... did I just have a panic attack?” He asked once he got his breathing back under control.

“I think so...” Robert sighed and held him close. “It’s ok... they’re not going to come after you again, Jimmy. They won’t be able to, they’ll be in jail, I’m sure. They won’t get away with this.” 

“They won’t be in jail forever...” Jimmy mumbled.

“No... but the police will be keeping an eye on them even then.” Robert reassured him. “They can’t hurt you anymore.”

“We don’t even have any evidence that my parents hired those guys, we just heard it from them!” Jimmy said as if he only just realized that.

“I’m sure they’ll talk. if only to try and save their own asses.” Robert said. “I’m sure Officer Grant will want to talk to us, soon, they’re just letting us rest a bit. We’re perfectly safe, baby, I promise.” He knew it wasn’t that easy and that Jimmy couldn’t just let it go and relax, of course, but he was definitely going to reassure him as much as possible.

“I know...” Jimmy sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. 

“I wish I could help you, I wish I could do more... but that’s just not how it works. I can’t just magically kiss away your pain and your fear... this going to take time, a lot of time, and a lot of hard work and therapy. But I believe in you, I know you can do it and I’m more than willing to help you as much as I can and stay by your side, no matter how long it takes or how hard it is.” Robert said and Jimmy looked up at him again for a moment.

“Even if it’s going to be hard for you, too?” He whispered. “Don’t you... wouldn’t you rather be with someone... whole? Someone who’s not broken like me?” 

“I’d rather be with *you*. You’re not broken. You’ve been hurt, you’re traumatized and I know this isn’t going to be a walk in the park, but I’m still in. I’m with you.” Robert answered with a little smile. “I’ll be there to help you through the tough time and enjoy the good times with you.”

“That sounds... good.” Jimmy said carefully, another tiny hint of a smile on his face. “Thank you. I don’t know why you’re so willing to go through all of this for me... with me... but you’re... you’re just amazing and I’m so grateful I’ve got you. Do you... really think I can do this?” 

“I know you can. You’re going to be fine. You’re going to recover and deal with all of this. You’ll go to art school and become one of the most famous, most amazing artists the world has ever seen.” Robert smiled at him encouragingly. Jimmy groaned.

“Oh god... don’t get me wrong, but right now, that sounds daunting rather than... something I’d want. Right now, I just wanna hide and never come back out.” He sighed. 

“I know... I understand, but you’re not always going to feel like that, I promise.” Robert said. “Here’s another thought: it’s not the whole world that’s against you, baby. It seemed like you had such bad luck, but in the end, it was the same story all over again, the same two people behind it all.” He added. Jimmy seemed to mull it over for a moment. 

“You’re right. I hadn’t thought about it like that before, but you’re right. It’s not like I had awful, shitty, abusive parents and then I got raped on top of it all because someone else hated me as well... it’s all them.” He said, shaking his head. “It’s always been them. Maybe you’re right and this is really the end of it...”

“I’m sure it is. I trust the police. I know you might have a harder time with that than me, understandably so, but... give them the benefit of the doubt, they’ll get them, I’m sure.” Robert said, then looked up as someone knocked on their door. The doctor that took care of his leg earlier poked his head in and smiled in amusement at finding them both in bed. He then entered the room.

“How are you feeling now?” He asked Robert and the blonde shrugged, telling the doctor that he was feeling a little better already. “I’ve got two visitors for you, two men from the police, but I wanted to make sure you’re up for it before sending them in. Do you want to talk to them?” Robert looked down at Jimmy.

“Speaking of the devil... I’d be fine with it, how about you?” He asked and the brunette nodded as well as he sat up in the bed, he obviously didn’t want to talk to the officers all snuggled up to Robert. He sat on the edge of the bed next to the blonde instead. 

“Alright, I’ll let them in, then.” The doctor nodded and left the room again. A few minutes later, the door opened again and both Officer Grant and Officer Bonham entered. Grant was shaking his head in disbelief.

“I should have known the two of you would be trouble when those boys walked into the precinct!” He said with a small smile. “Good to see you made it out of there in one piece... well, more or less.” He added with a small cringe of sympathy as he looked at Robert. 

“I’ll be fine...” He said softly. 

“You could have just waited for our team to get you out of there, you know.” Bonham said with a sigh and Robert glared at him.

“It would have been... too late.” He said and glanced at Jimmy, who nodded. “That guy... he threatened to rape Jimmy. I wasn’t gonna just... let him!”

“He went berserk on that guy...” Jimmy shook his head, obviously still in disbelief as well.

“Hmmhm, he sure did. He’s in the ICU, it’s gonna be a while before he can talk to us. His brothers were a little more talkative, luckily.” Grant nodded. 

“Did they tell you that my... my... parents hired them?” Jimmy asked. It was difficult for him to even call them that. Grant nodded. 

“It makes sense, after what you told us. They’re being brought to the precinct to be interrogated as we speak.” He answered. The brunette breathed a sigh of relief. “Don’t you worry. They were very eager to help us, they gave us access to their computers and phones as well as their apartment and we’re pretty sure we’re going to find quite a bit of evidence to use against your parents.”

“I hope so...” Robert growled. “I hope they’ll never see the light of day again. Fucking psychopaths.” 

“We’ll do our very best. Anyway, we’re going to give the two of you some additional protection, there will be police in and around the hospital while you’re here and when you go back home, we’ll keep that up for a little while, as well, just in case there’s any more people involved that we don’t know about yet, although we highly doubt that. We’d rather not take any more chances.” Bonham said. He then sighed and glanced at Jimmy before looking back down at his hands. “Look... I owe you an apology.” Jimmy raised an eyebrow at him.

“Do you?” He asked cooly and Robert smirked. Bonham was uncomfortable and Jimmy still wasn’t going to let him get away with it that easily and Robert loved him for that.

“Yes. I’m sorry, ok? I let myself be blinded by stupid prejudice and I was out of line talking to you like that. You didn’t deserve that.” He said, still unable to look at Jimmy. “You didn’t deserve any of this, of course, and I was a huge jerk making it even harder for you.” The younger man was silent for a moment, he looked like he wanted to give the Officer a piece of his mind, but then he nodded.

“Thank you for saying that, I appreciate it.” He said with a sigh. “I can’t say I’ll just forget what you said, but I’m glad you apologized.” Robert smiled at him and squeezed his hand gently, proud that Jimmy would act so grown up about the whole thing. He wouldn’t have blamed the boy for lashing out, after all he’s been through. Bonham nodded and took a step back, apologizing obviously hadn’t been easy for him, but Robert was grateful he did it anyway. Grant then asked them to tell them exactly what happened, right from the beginning and Robert started with the note he found, told them how Jimmy left and how he panicked, then he told them about the phone call he received and everything that happened after that. Jimmy told them how they’d snatched him when he was on his way to find his old friends back in the streets where he used to work. Once they were done and had told the officers everything, they were left alone once again and Robert felt very, very tired. 

“Get some sleep... you need it.” Jimmy said worriedly and caressed his hair as he pulled Robert closer to let him rest his head on his chest. 

“What about you?” Robert asked as he leaned in and closed his eyes.

“I’ll try and get some, too, promise.” Jimmy said and held him close. It wasn’t long before Robert drifted off into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't decide whether or not the next chapter is going to be the last one or not. I kinda want to write more about Jimmy's recovery, but on the other hand, I think it's time for an epilogue. Let me know what you think.


	17. 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our boys are back at home and things are looking up again. Robert's Mom announces herself, so he'll have to tell her what happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so I've decided that there WILL be several more chapters to this story, mostly cute and fluffy ones, to make up for all the bad stuff that happened to these poor guys! :D

They kept Robert in the hospital for the next day as well, running several tests to make sure he was alright since he’d been hit in the head pretty hard, but on the third day, he wanted to go home so badly, he started complaining so much that they agreed to let him go. Jimmy hadn’t left his side all that time, only briefly to talk to the police once again.

John had dropped by to bring Robert some stuff from home, but luckily he only needed spare clothes for one day. He also told Jimmy that he’d talked to the therapist again and that he could see her the very next day if he wanted to. He told her everything she needed to know already, so it’d be a little easier for Jimmy. 

Robert was feeling much better already, his head didn’t hurt anymore, his leg however was a completely different story. It was terribly sore and stung whenever he moved (so for the most part, he didn’t), but with some painkillers, it was bearable and the wound had started healing well so far. John had agreed to take Jimmy to the therapist since Jimmy didn’t drive and Robert couldn’t, because of his leg, and the boy had insisted that Robert tag along as well, he was too scared to go alone. 

The therapist turned out to be a short, chubby, adorable young woman, around Robert’s age maybe, with short blue hair and a quirky smile. Robert immediately took a liking to her and Jimmy seemed to be pleasantly surprised as well, he’d probably expected some judgemental old hag or something.

The blonde didn’t actually accompany Jimmy inside during his first session, but he promised to stay right outside the room just in case Jimmy needed him. He wanted the boy to feel safe and like he could come back to him whenever he needed to, but he also wanted him to be able to speak freely without having to worry about Robert listening.

The first session seemed to have gone pretty well, Jimmy later told him that they hadn’t actually talked too much about any serious stuff, they’d just gotten to know each other a little. She’d agreed to see Jimmy three times a week for the first three weeks and twice a week from then on, just to help him deal with the initial shock and trauma after the abduction and everything that had happened to him so very recently. 

Another ‘problem’ arose the following week, when Robert’s mother, Annie, announced that she was coming over to visit. He loved his mother dearly, but he hadn’t spoken to her ever since Jimmy showed up on his doorstep more than six weeks ago, so she had no idea. That wasn’t unusual for them, she was a very busy woman, always working, traveling, Robert was usually very busy as well, so they often went several weeks without talking, sometimes just texting each other from time to time, then they’d go several weeks talking each and every day, on the phone or hanging out at Robert’s place. When she texted him to tell him she was dropping by, Robert had a decision to make. Of course he’d have to tell her about Jimmy and what had happened to them, but how much did she need to know and how much was Jimmy comfortable with?

“Baby? Uhm... my mom wants to come visit... later today.” He called out to his boy, raising his head to look up from his new phone. 

“Oh? Oh. Do you want me to leave? I can go hang out at Jonesy’s...” Jimmy said as he came over to where Robert was sitting and the older man frowned.

“What? No! Why? I want you to meet her... and her to meet you... if you want to, I mean.” He said.

“You... do? You mean, she’s ok with... with you... uhm...” Jimmy stammered and Robert laughed.

“Oh my god, Jimmy... of course she is. She’s the one who told me I’m bisexual when I couldn’t figure it out myself!” He said. “She doesn’t mind, at all, on the contrary. My mom is awesome, I’m sure you’ll love her. I’m sure she’ll love you, too.” He said with a smile.

“Sorry... it’s still hard for me, sometimes... it’s hard to believe that not everybody’s a bigoted asshole. Especially parents.” He huffed, then smiled. “In that case, I’d love to meet her.”

“OK, good... see, the thing is, she doesn’t know about you, yet, and I kinda... need to tell her that I’ve got someone new... right? I need to tell her what happened to us, too, she’ll wonder why I’m limping... I’m just not sure what you’re comfortable with...” Robert said with a sigh. “I don’t want to tell her too much and make you feel bad...”

“Ah... well... tell her the truth.” Jimmy said. “I’d rather you tell her the whole truth now... I wouldn’t want her to find out somewhere along the way who I am... or rather, what I used to be.” He sighed and Robert nodded. 

“Alright. You do know you don’t have to be ashamed, though, right? You did what you had to do and she won’t judge you for it.” Robert said and squeezed his hand gently. 

“I know.” Jimmy confirmed with a little smile. “Thank you for asking, though.” He added.

“Of course I asked... I wouldn’t just tell her without asking you first.” Robert answered.

“What about your Dad?” Jimmy then asked, as if the thought just popped into his head. Robert shrugged and sighed.

“They’re divorced... I’m not really close with my Dad. He left when I was a teenager.” He said and Jimmy cringed.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to...” He trailed off, but Robert hugged him and gave him a smile.

“It’s ok, it’s not that bad, there’s no bad blood between us, we just kinda... drifted apart. I should probably call him one of these days.” He said with another shrug.

“Yeah... well, let’s take it one parent at a time for now, ok?” Jimmy grinned, relieved that he hadn’t actually brought back bad memories or something for Robert.

“Alright, I’m gonna call her and tell her, then, alright?” Robert said with a chuckle and the brunette nodded.

“Ok. I’ll be in my room...” Jimmy said and gave him a hug and a quick little kiss before leaving. Robert had ordered him a laptop a few days ago and he’d spent a lot of time reading and watching stuff online since then. A lot of time. Some nights, he forgot to come to bed, he forgot to sleep, because he was so busy reading. It already helped, though, he already seemed a lot more comfortable with certain things. Robert had seen that he’d discovered a few sex positive youtube channels that made videos about certain topics concerning sex education and LGBT+ issues and Jimmy had sucked them all up like a sponge immediately. At first, he’d been embarrassed when Robert had walked in on him, but when the blonde had shown an interest in the videos as well and sat with him to watch a few, that had changed as well. They now watched them together regularly and the blonde would answer any questions Jimmy had.

Robert was glad that Jimmy seemed to be doing well for now, although neither of them had initiated any form of intimacy other than cuddling and kissing ever since they’d been abducted. It’s not that he didn’t want to, but Robert didn’t dare to, he didn’t want to spook Jimmy since he had no idea how he felt about that at the moment, and the boy hadn’t done anything to initiate anything either, but neither of them seemed to mind, for now. 

Robert picked up his phone again and dialed his mother’s number, hoping she’d have some time to talk to him before she actually got here, he had a lot to tell her, a lot of things happened and he’d at least have to tell her why he’s injured.

“Hello darling! How are you?” His mother chirped happily as soon as she picked up the phone. Robert couldn’t help but smile, he’d missed hearing her voice.

“Hey Mom... I’m good, it’s great to hear your voice... how about you?” He asked.

“Me too! So, are you ready to see your old Mom, hm?” She asked, laughing. 

“Absolutely! I missed you. It’s just... I’ve got some news.” He said carefully. It wasn’t that he was afraid of her reaction or anything, but she tended to get very enthusiastic and he wanted to ease her into it a little. He was a little worried about her reaction to the abductions and the story behind that, but he knew it’d be fine in the end.

“Oh? What news? Good news?” She asked. 

“Well... yes.” He said, hesitating. “I’m in love. I found someone and... we’re living together. I thought I’d rather tell you before you get here...” Robert answered. 

“Oh but that’s wonderful, darling, congratulations! Who is it? Do I know them?” She asked and Robert heard that she was smiling widely. It made Robert smile in turn, especially since she didn’t assume whether it was a woman or a man in the first place and he loved her for it.

“It’s a long story...” Robert sighed and started to tell her everything, leaving out the most gruesome details, but telling her enough for her to know which topics to avoid around Jimmy. When he was done telling her the whole story, she was crying.

“Oh Robert, you could have died, they could have killed you...” She sobbed. 

“I... I know, Mom. I’m fine, though... I’m alright and it’s over, we’re safe.” He said with a sigh. He hadn’t really thought about it much since then, he’d even kind of avoided it a little, but now that she said it like that, so bluntly, he felt it and it made him shiver.

“Are you still hurt?” She asked, then.

“Yeah, my leg... I got injured when we crawled out of the window at that old factory, a piece of glass and some metal cut my leg... but they took care of it, it’s not infected and seems to be healing well... it just... hurts a lot.” He sighed.

“My poor child...” She sighed. “And that poor, poor boy... all the things he’s been through, I can’t even begin to understand how he’s feeling... you better treat him right, Robert Anthony Plant, or else, do you hear me?” She added passionately. Robert chuckled.

“Mom! Of course. I love him.” He answered. “Look... please don’t react to him this way when you meet him, ok? Don’t treat him like a poor kid that needs saving, he hates that, you’d make him really uncomfortable... and for the love of god, whatever you do, please don’t start crying when you see him, ok? He’s my boyfriend, not a charity case.” 

“Of course, darling, of course, I understand, I’ll keep it together, I promise.” Annie said. 

“He’s a lovely person and I’m sure you’ll like him. Knowing both of you, you’ll probably gang up on me and make fun of me.” Robert pouted and his mother laughed. “He can be really cheeky if he’s feeling playful.” 

“Oh, fantastic, I can tell him the most embarrassing stories from when you were little!” She cheered in delight and Robert groaned, but he couldn’t help smiling anyways. “Alright, darling, thank you for filling me in... I’ll be on my way, then, see you soon.”

“Soon, Mom...” Robert answered and ended the call, still smiling to himself. He was looking forward to seeing his mother again. He put his phone down on the table and made his way upstairs. Jimmy had left his door ajar a little, but Robert knocked on the doorframe anyway, waiting for him to ask him to enter. 

“Come on in, door’s open!” Jimmy called and Robert entered, coming to sit on the bed next to the boy. “How did it go?” 

“Well, I told her everything... she was shocked, of course... she cried a little when she realized what *could* have happened...” Robert sighed. 

“Of course... you’re her son and she could have lost you...” Jimmy nodded, shivering at the thought just like Robert had.

“Yes... but, on the other hand, she was very glad to hear that I’m in love and she’s very eager to meet you.” Robert smiled. 

“Aww... then I’m eager to meet her, too.” Jimmy smiled shyly. “And a little nervous. Or a lot.” He added.

“Sweety, you don’t have to be nervous, it’s going to be alright...” Robert said and gently pulled him into his arms. The brunette immediately snuggled closer to him. 

“I can’t help it... I mean, meeting the parents is kind of... a big deal, right?” He asked. “Doesn’t usually happen after like... 6 weeks of dating.” 

“Hm, I don’t think the usual standards apply to us, after all we’ve been through.” Robert huffed. “Also, we’ve spent a lot more time together than any other couple that has been dating for 6 weeks.” 

“True.” Jimmy agreed. “So, you think she’ll like me?”

“I’m sure she will.” Robert nodded. He wasn’t worried about that at all. He held Jimmy for a while, just enjoying feeling him close. “What were you up to?” He then asked.

“I... I was writing some job applications.” Jimmy sighed. “No luck so far... nobody wants to hire someone without any kind of education.” He frowned. 

“Hey, take it easy, baby... you don’t have to do this...” Robert cooed.

“But I want to! I can’t just sit here and do... nothing!” Jimmy said. “I need something to do.”

“Hmm... why don’t you go back to school, then, if you feel up for it?” Robert asked and Jimmy rolled his eyes.

“I dropped out when I was 15! I would have to go back and sit with all the other 15 or 16 year olds! No way!” He complained. 

“Fair enough. What about art school?” The blonde asked.

“I read up on that... I need a portfolio and I need to write an application as well. I have nothing, so far, I don’t even know if I’m any good. I haven’t picked up a pencil since school.” He said, then pouted. “Why do I have to have a portfolio for getting INTO art school? It doesn’t make sense, I want to go there to learn, after all!” He complained.

“I know, it’s stupid... how about this, we get you some supplies and you just start doing whatever feels right? There’s no pressure, you can just start doodling or whatever... or you could try digitally, this laptop should work fine for photoshop... or I can get you a drawing tablet...” Robert suggested. Jimmy looked down at his hands and sighed.

“I... I would love that, but... those are expensive and you know how I feel about you buying me things...” He said. 

“I do know, but I think you need to get over it and take full advantage of having a rich boyfriend.” Robert said and poked his tongue out at the boy, who giggled.

“I’ll never NOT feel sleazy and disgusting about accepting expensive gifts from you.” He said.

“But... you don’t have to... I mean, think about it this way, it makes me happy, too... buying you stuff, I mean, seeing you happy.” Robert said. 

“You do realize that what makes me happy isn’t the things you buy me... it’s being with you, being close to you, spending time with you.” Jimmy said solemnly and Robert melted.

“I know. That’s why I have no problem buying you stuff, because I know that’s not why you’re with me.” He said and kissed the boy’s forehead gently. 

“In that case... I could maybe get over it.” Jimmy smiled. “I’d still like to find a job, for now, even if it’s just... I don’t know, cleaning or stocking shelves or whatever... anything.”

“You’ll find something, I’m sure. Let me help you with the applications, alright? We’ll find you something, promise.” Robert said and Jimmy sighed, relaxing into his embrace. “Or... how about an internship at my publishing house?” The boy cringed.

“Wouldn’t that be super awkward?? I don’t want you as my boss!” He pouted and Robert laughed. “That would just be... weird.”

“I wouldn’t really be your boss... it’s not like we’d really work together, you’d work with my employees... but I can see why you’d feel it’s awkward.” He agreed. “Well, the offer still stands, you can have a look behind the scenes and everything, see if you like it”

“Thank you. I’ll think about it.” He said, then he jumped a little. “Oh! Your Mom’s coming over and we have nothing to offer her! We should bake a cake or something or scones to go with the tea or...” He babbled, excited, and Robert laughed. 

“Scones take ages, silly, they’re made from an enriched dough that has to rest.” He said and ruffled Jimmy’s hair. “I could whip up a quick, simple chocolate cake, though...”

“Can we? Please? I’ve never baked anything in my life...” Jimmy admitted, excited.

“Sure, why not. Mom loves chocolate cake.” Robert mused. “Come on, let’s get going then, she’ll be here in... about 2 hours, I think.” He said, glancing at his watch. Jimmy quickly jumped off of the bed and bounced down the stairs and Robert laughed at his enthusiasm. It took him a little longer to get downstairs, as he was still limping and had to take the stairs one by one, carefully, but when he got there, Jimmy had already gathered some ingredients, flour, butter and sugar. 

“I do know we need these... what else?” He asked when Robert entered the kitchen.

“Hmm, baking powder, eggs, cocoa, chocolate chips... that should be it. I don’t think we’ll have to ice it, but that’s alright.” He said and watched Jimmy buzz around the kitchen, gathering all the ingredients needed. He was utterly adorable like that. Robert opened another cupboard and took out a tray and several bowls to mix the ingredients. He let Jimmy do most of it so he could learn and by the time they were done, he had flour in his hair and on his shirt, chocolate on his nose and chocolaty batter on his cheek. Robert thought he couldn’t possibly fall any more in love with the boy, but then Jimmy smiled at him happily and brushed some hair out of his face with his hand, smearing even more batter across his forehead, and Robert melted even more.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” The brunette asked, amused, and Robert shook himself out of it. 

“You should see yourself right now, you... you’re so fucking adorable.” He laughed and pulled him close to kiss him. Jimmy laughed and kissed him back, wrapping his arms around him. “I love you so, so much.” Robert sighed. Jimmy buries his face in the crook of his neck.

“I love you, too...” He whispered shyly, clinging to him tightly. They stayed like that for a while as they waited for the oven to heat up, then Robert poured the batter into the tray and put it in the oven. 

“Alright, all done... we should probably change.” He chuckled, Jimmy had now gotten flour and batter all over him as well. He didn’t mind. 

“Yeah... we definitely should.” The younger man agreed and they went back upstairs to change, then waited for the cake to be done and Robert’s Mom to arrive. The blonde felt Jimmy’s nervousness increase by the minute, even though he reassured him that it would be fine. When the doorbell rang, he looked like he was buzzing with nervous excitement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's ready for Annie and Jimmy to meet?? :3


	18. 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert's Mom comes to visit, they have a great time. Later, the boys end up in bed together and things seem to be going very well, until...

Robert went to open the door as quickly as he could (really, he wanted to rush there, he’d really missed his mother, but of course, his leg wouldn’t allow that), Jimmy tagging along slightly behind him, shy. The blonde opened the door and smiled widely at his mother. A bit shorter than him, she was slim, had a friendly, gentle face, brown eyes and a huge head of thick, reddish brown curls, a lot like Robert’s (except for the color), a colorful headband tied into them. She was wearing layers and layers of colorful fabric, you couldn’t even tell whether it was a shirt and a skirt or a dress, and heaps of jewellery all over, around her wrists, her neck, dangling from her ears. 

“Mommy!” Robert exclaimed and bent down to hug her, picking her up and spinning her around like he usually would, but then he cursed when it hurt his leg. Quickly, he put her down again. “Oww, fuck!” 

“Oh, you silly boy, what are you doing?” Annie huffed gave him a disapproving look, but then her face softened and she hugged him again. “Poor darling...”

“Sorry... I forgot. I was so happy to see you.” Robert admitted sheepishly and she smiled at him again. 

“I’m happy to see you, too, love. It’s been way too long.” She sighed, then leaned over to peep behind Robert. “Ooh, you must be Jimmy!” She said when she spotted the boy who was currently trying to become one with the wall. Robert couldn’t help but chuckle at how shy Jimmy was right now. 

“Uh... yes... hello. Nice to meet you, Mrs. Plant.” He said in a small voice, all polite, and came over to shake her hand. She laughed and shook her head.

“That’s Annie for you, dear!” She said, taking his hand and pulling him into a tight hug. Jimmy’s eyes widened almost comically and he looked at Robert helplessly, then shyly hugged her back. “It’s wonderful to meet you, too!” She added and took a step back to look at Jimmy again, who shuffled his feet and smiled at her shyly.

“Now I know where Robert got his good looks from...” He said with a little cheeky smile at the blonde. Annie laughed and swatted at his arm playfully.

“Oh stop it, you! Robert, you didn’t tell me he was such a charming young man!” She said, delighted. Jimmy wasn’t wrong, Robert did take after his mother a lot, except for the blonde hair and the blue eyes. His Dad always used to joke that he got that from the mailman, but he really got it from his paternal grandfather and they all knew it.

“Well, you should have guessed, I told you I was madly in love with him!” Robert poked his tongue out at her. “That didn’t just happen because he’s so pretty!” He added and looked at Jimmy, who was by now bright red in the face. 

“He is, isn’t he?” She agreed and smiled at Jimmy as well. “Aww, oh no, we’re making him uncomfortable!” Annie cringed and patted his shoulder. “I’m sorry, dear...” 

“It’s alright... I’m just... a little shy.” He said and smiled at her as well. “It really *is* wonderful to meet you, Robert spoke very highly of you and he was so happy when you texted him.”

“Aww, that is so sweet! We really do not see each other often enough!” She melted and hugged Robert again. “Hm, do I smell chocolate cake?” She then asked.

“Yes! Well, it’s more like brownies, I just poured the batter on a flat tray, but it’s really chocolaty and nice!” Robert said sheepishly. “Come on in, let’s sit in the living room, I’ll go and make some tea...” He added and led them into the other room where they’d already set the table with some little plates and tea cups. He told them to have a seat and let him worry about the tea and the cake.

“But... wouldn’t you rather sit, what about your leg...” Jimmy asked worriedly. “I can take care of the tea and all that...”

“Baby, I’m fine, I don’t mind...” Robert cooed.

“Please? You haven’t seen your Mom in a while, sit with her and talk to her, let me take care of this, alright?” The brunette insisted and Robert nodded, giving in.

“Ok. Thank you, sweety.” He said and hugged him quickly. Jimmy pecked his cheek before going back to the kitchen. Robert smiled at his Mom, who was looking at him with a soft expression on her face.

“The two of you make an *adorable* couple, do you know that?” She sighed. 

“Yeah... I know... Jonesy said something like that, too.” Robert chuckled.

“He is SO cute and pretty!” She squeed, lowering her voice a little so Jimmy wouldn’t hear. Robert raised an eyebrow at her.

“Hey, now. He’s mine, ok?” He said, amused. She laughed.

“Oh, please! I like them young, but not *that* young!” She said and Robert laughed as well. After she had divorced his Dad, she’d had several younger lovers and he’d never stopped teasing her about it. Even now that she was in her 50s, her lovers were usually around Robert’s age. “I guess it runs in the family.” She then added with a wink and Robert pouted.

“Oh come on. I didn’t plan to fall for him, it just kinda happened... it’s not like I have a thing for 19 year old boys.” He sighed. “Sometimes, when I think about it too much, it makes me really uncomfortable that he’s so much younger than me.” He admitted. 

“Don’t think about it, then. It’s really not that big of a deal, Robert. He’s not underage and he obviously wants to be with you. It’s fine.” Annie reassured him. 

“You’re probably right.” He agreed and smiled at her, then looked up when Jimmy came back into the room with the tray and some little forks, a sheepish smile on his face.

“I couldn’t get it out of the tray... we’ll have to eat it like this.” He said and Robert groaned.

“I forgot to butter the tray.” He admitted and his Mom shook her head.

“Did you forget everything I taught you?” She asked teasingly and then took one of the little forks, stuck it into the tray and took a bite. “Hmmmm, no, no you didn’t, this is really good!” She said and both Robert and Jimmy laughed. Jimmy quickly fetched the tea he’d made and they sat closer together so they could all reach the tray and eat from the cake as they talked. 

Just as he had suspected, as soon as Jimmy relaxed and felt more comfortable, they started talking more and more, his Mom told Jimmy each and every embarrassing childhood story she could possibly think of, making the younger man laugh. Robert wasn’t even mad, he was so cute. He opened up a little more after a while, telling them stories of his own childhood, he even felt comfortable enough to share some of the things he experienced while he was homeless, at least the funny, lighthearted stories with his friends.

They got along really well and Robert could tell that they liked each other a lot. He couldn’t help but think about what his Dad would think about Jimmy. Both of his parents were very liberal, having grown up in the 60s and 70s, so he knew he wouldn’t have a big problem with it, but he knew his Dad wouldn’t be as warm and welcoming as his Mom, he was a little more reserved. 

They spent the rest of the afternoon talking, sharing stories, sipping tea and eating cake and when the sun was starting to set, they whipped up a quick dinner and ate together, then they sat together and shared a bottle of wine, talking and laughing until it was late. He called his Mom a cab when she wanted to leave, not wanting her to drive on her own after two glasses of wine. He promised her to have her car brought back to her by a driver the next day and hugged her goodbye. Jimmy hugged her as well, a lot less shy than the first time. 

“You were right, I do love her, she is wonderful!” Jimmy said once they sat back down on the sofa in the living room. “I had a really good time.” 

“So did I.” Robert agreed and pulled Jimmy closer to him. The younger man happily snuggled up to him and closed his eyes, enjoying to be held like that.

“Your Mom said you could sing. You never told me.” He then whispered. Robert chuckled.

“I can’t sing... she’s just... she’s my Mom, Mom’s sometimes think their children can do anything...” He explained, trying to avoid the topic. Jimmy raised an eyebrow at him as he looked up. 

“I’m not buying it. You *can* sing, you’re just shy.” He said. “Sing something for me? Please?” He asked, batting his eyelashes, and Robert knew he lost the battle. He sighed heavily.

“Ok... but don’t make fun of me... this is something I came up with a while ago...” He said and closed his eyes, trying to calm down a little, he was terribly nervous, but then he started to sing softly. 

“There's a lady who's sure  
All that glitters is gold  
And she's buying a stairway to heaven  
When she gets there she knows  
If the stores are all closed  
With a word she can get what she came for  
and she's buying a stairway to heaven

There's a sign on the wall  
But she wants to be sure  
'Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings  
In a tree by the brook  
There's a songbird who sings  
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiving

Ooh, it makes me wonder  
Ooh, it makes me wonder

There's a feeling I get  
When I look to the west  
And my spirit is crying for leaving  
In my thoughts I have seen  
Rings of smoke through the trees  
And the voices of those who standing looking

Ooh, it makes me wonder  
Ooh, it really makes me wonder

And it's whispered that soon, If we all call the tune  
Then the piper will lead us to reason  
And a new day will dawn  
For those who stand long  
And the forests will echo with laughter

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow  
Don't be alarmed now  
It's just a spring clean for the May queen  
Yes, there are two paths you can go by  
But in the long run  
There's still time to change the road you're on

And it makes me wonder

Your head is humming and it won't go  
In case you don't know  
The piper's calling you to join him  
Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow  
And did you know  
Your stairway lies on the whispering wind...”

“That’s where I stopped writing it because I felt that from here on out, it’d have to... like... grow, become bigger, heavier, and I don’t know... didn’t know how to go on...” He babbled when he finished and when he looked at Jimmy, the boy was staring at him with big eyes full of love and adoration, it almost looked like he had tears in his eyes. It almost made Robert blush. “Say something?” He prompted when Jimmy didn’t react. 

“Robert... don’t ever say that you can’t sing, ever again, do you hear me?” He whispered. “That was so fucking beautiful! It was brilliant! Did you really come up with that all by yourself??” Jimmy asked and the blonde nodded bashfully.

“I... yeah. You know what’s the weirdest thing? I don’t even really remember what I was talking about. It all just came to me, all of a sudden, and I wrote it down... then the melody came to me.” He admitted and now, he did actually blush. 

“Hmm... maybe you were channeling... maybe someone was speaking through you.” Jimmy offered with a smile and Robert shrugged. “Well, from what I got from this, basically, is that life is short and you shouldn’t be greedy and enjoy what you have, right?” He added and came back to snuggle into Robert’s arms.

“Yeah... that’s probably the gist of it...” He agreed, holding the boy close. Jimmy smiled up at him and kissed him gently.

“Your voice is absolutely wonderful... you should do something with it.” He said. “Even if it’s just... singing to me sometimes.” He added with a cheeky little smile.

“I could do that...” Robert said as he gently played with Jimmy’s hair. He was still a little shaken, he’d never sung this to anybody before and he didn’t quite know why he’d felt the need to do so with Jimmy, he could have just sung some other song that the boy would know, but this... was very personal. He was glad he liked it though. 

He felt the younger man sit up again and give him another cheeky smile before kissing him deeply. Robert pulled him closer and kissed him back, and after a while, he gathered all of his courage to ask.

“Would you... maybe... like to move this to the bedroom?” He had been going for seductive, but it just came out sounding really, really nervous. He was afraid of going too fast again, he was afraid of being rejected, he was afraid Jimmy wouldn’t know what to say and feel uncomfortable, but he couldn’t help himself, he was only human after all and he had needs, too. Jimmy looked up at him for a moment, a little surprised, but then he nodded reluctantly.

“I... yes... but... what about your leg, doesn’t it hurt?” He asked, chewing his lower lip. 

“What? No... I mean, it does, but... we can just be careful, right?” Robert offered. 

“I’m scared I’ll be clumsy again...” Jimmy mumbled, looking down. “I really want to, don’t get me wrong, but... I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Aww... sweet baby, no, it’s ok... it’s really not that bad anymore, we’ll just be really, really careful and we’ll take it slow, ok?” Robert said, melting at how worried the boy was about him. “Is this why you didn’t... try anything, until now? You used to be all over me.”

“Well, yes. I just really didn’t want to make it worse.” Jimmy pouted. Robert couldn’t help but laugh.

“And here I was, worried that I did something wrong or that you didn’t want me anymore or that *something* else was wrong somehow...” He laughed. He felt incredibly relieved. 

“Oh God, no, Robert... I want you...” Jimmy blushed and fidgeted nervously as he said that. “You know I do.” Robert smiled at him again and took his hand.

“Then... let’s go?” He said but Jimmy shook his head and Robert’s heart dropped. 

“No, no, I do still want to!” The boy reassured him quickly when he saw the blonde’s expression change. “I just... give me a moment, I wanna wash up quickly, I feel gross... I haven’t showered yet, today...”

“Oh Jimmy... I don’t care...” Robert started but Jimmy cut him off.

“But I do. Please?” The younger man insisted and Robert nodded. He knew just how important hygiene and cleanliness was to Jimmy and how much it all meant to him, so he let him go. He watched him leave and sighed to himself. He would love to take a shower as well, but he couldn’t really do that with the bandage on his leg, he only did it when it had to be changed anyways and that had already happened that morning, so he went to the other, smaller bathroom and washed up as well as he could with a cloth at the sink. It wasn’t that he was dirty or anything, but now that Jimmy had gone to take a shower and was probably scrubbing himself until he was squeaky clean, he felt a little self conscious. He didn’t want to gross Jimmy out. He out on a fresh pair of boxers and made his way to the bedroom.

When he got there, he arrived just in time for the boy to be done with his shower as well. He entered the bedroom wearing only Robert’s fluffy white bath robe and smiled at him shyly.

“I’m sorry if I’m being difficult...” He said and came to hug Robert, who shook his head.

“You’re not. Whatever it takes you make you comfortable is alright.” He answered and kissed the top of Jimmy’s head. The boy nuzzled his chest and smiled.

“I love wearing this robe because it smells like you.” He admitted in a small voice. “It makes me feel safe.”

“You feel safe with me?” Robert asked and Jimmy nodded. He then straightened up a little and kissed him again, then started walking him backwards to the bed. The older man happily let him take charge. He gave Robert’s chest a little push to make him sit on the bed and when he blonde did, Jimmy took a step back and shrugged off the robe, letting it fall to the floor behind him. Robert leaned back on his elbows and looked up at the younger man, then let his gaze wander over his body for a moment. Jimmy stayed there for a bit, just letting Robert look at him, like he was trying to prove to himself that it’s ok, like he was trying to get over his nervousness and get used to being looked at that way, then he came closer, crawling on the bed as well. 

He didn’t straddle Robert like he usually would, too afraid to hurt his leg, instead he stayed on his good side and kissed him again. Robert jumped a little when his long hair tickled his torso and Jimmy grinned at him.

“Aww, does that tickle?” He asked and tilted his head a little to do it again, Robert twitched and laughed. 

“Yes, you cheeky little menace, that tickles!” He said and Jimmy laughed as well.

“I love that you’re so ticklish... it’s cute.” He said and nuzzled his neck, placing a few gentle kisses there while he put a hand on Robert’s chest, starting to caress him softly. “Why’d you put those boxers back on...? It’s gonna be hard to take them off without hurting you.” Jimmy pouted. 

“I don’t know, for decency’s sake...?” Robert offered and the other man chuckled.

“We’re not trying to be... decent... are we?” He purred into the blonde’s ear, who grinned in turn.

“No... you’re right, we’re not.” He answered and pulled Jimmy a little closer to he could touch him in turn. They stopped for a moment to pry Robert’s boxers off of him and the brunette wasted no time, he immediately went for it and took his cock into his mouth. Robert cursed loudly and arched on the bed. “Fuck, Jimmy... you can’t just... god. Give a guy a second, would you?” Jimmy let him go with a wet pop and grinned at him cheekily. 

“Do I really have to wine’n’dine you every time I wanna suck your cock?” He asked. “Buy you some flowers, maybe?” He wrapped his fingers around Robert’s cock and stroked it lazily, his eyes never leaving the blonde’s face. “I can’t help myself, whenever I see your cock... I feel the irresistible urge... to take it into my mouth, right away.” He explained and did just that, bobbing his head quickly. 

“Fuck... you really don’t want this to last, do you?” Robert gasped, trying to hold back as much as he could. The corners of Jimmy’s eyes crinkled ever so slightly as he smiled despite what he was doing and he slowed down his movements, now bobbing his head lazily and using his tongue a little more, which didn’t help much, it only made it even harder to last for Robert and he whined pitifully. 

It only took one or two more minutes of the gentle, skillful bobbing, sucking and licking and Robert felt the last bit of control he had slipping away from him and he came with another little whine. Jimmy quickly crawled up towards him and snuggled into his arms, smiling happily. Robert wrapped his arms around him and sighed.

“You could make me come in less than a minute, if you really tried and if I didn’t hold back, do you know that?” He said and Jimmy raised his head to grin at him happily.

“That’s awesome, isn’t it?” He asked. His face fell when he saw Robert’s expression. “It’s... not?”

“It is, it is...” Robert quickly reassured him, but the damage had been done, Jimmy was insecure. 

“Robert. Be honest.” He said gravely. 

“I... Jimmy, I... don’t know how to say this.” He admitted. He pondered for a moment and almost put his foot in his mouth. He almost told Jimmy that he’s not one of his clients that he needs to get off as quickly as possible, but luckily he managed to stop himself. He knew that that would be the worst thing he could possibly say to the boy. 

“Just say it?” Jimmy suggested. “What’s wrong? Didn’t it feel good? Did I do something wrong?”

“No, it felt amazing, of course... you’re amazing. But... please don’t take this the wrong way, ok? You’re just... almost too good. Every time you do this, it’s over so quickly and I’d like it to last a little longer... you can take your time with me, tease me a little... I’m not just a cock, either, I have a whole body... you don’t have to get me off as quickly as possible, you know?” He said carefully. Jimmy looked away, embarrassed.

“You could have told me, you know...” He sighed.

“I... tried to? You didn’t listen.” Robert said and Jimmy glanced up at him in surprise, then back down, chewing his lip.

“You’re right... you did tell me, and I made fun of you. I’m sorry.” He whispered and sighed. 

“It’s ok, baby, there’s nothing to be sorry about...” Robert cooed and held him close.

“There is. I was so happy I could get you off so easily, I thought I was doing really well, and then it turns out you weren’t even really enjoying it... I am sorry about that.” Jimmy sighed.

“I’m sorry, too... I feel like such a jerk, I’m getting the best blowjobs in the world and here I am, complaining about it.” Robert cringed and Jimmy laughed.

“You’re not complaining! Or if you are, it’s a legitimate complaint. You told me you want me to slow down and I didn’t... not really. I promise I’ll listen to you from now on...” He said solemnly and Robert kissed him.

“I’m so glad you’re not upset...” He said and touched his nose to Jimmy’s. “I love you...” 

“I love you, too... I just wanted to make you feel good...” The brunette answered.

“You did, you really did.” Robert said with a smile. He was actually really proud of Jimmy for not freaking out even though he hadn’t quite been able to hide the way he felt about how quickly he’d been finished off. At first, Robert thought he’d start crying again and feel like he did the worst job in the world, but it hadn’t been that bad at all. Feeling encouraged by that, he started to kiss and caress Jimmy gently, he wanted to return the favor. Jimmy allowed it, slowly melting into the mattress next to Robert, who turned on his side. More gentle kisses were peppered all over the younger man’s torso, slowly going lower and lower before Robert looked up at him again.

“Can I try this again...?” He asked carefully and Jimmy nodded.

“Yes.” He said in a small voice, but he didn’t look nearly as terrified and frozen as the last time, so Robert felt that it was alright to go ahead. He promised himself, and Jimmy, that this time, he’d stop as soon as he noticed something was off. He only teased him a little bit before taking his cock into his mouth, keeping his hands on his hips firmly. Robert did his best not to stare at him too much, not to watch his reactions too closely, he didn’t want to make him feel self conscious again. Instead, he closed his eyes and focused on what he was doing with his mouth, and indeed, he felt the boy relax. When he moaned softly and tangled his hands in his hair to guide his head a bit, he knew he was on to something.

Minutes passed and he had Jimmy writhing, sighing and moaning, but it didn’t feel like he was getting any closer. When Robert opened his eyes to check on him, he had his head thrown back, eyes closed, his cheeks were flushed, his mouth was open and he was panting ever so slightly, everything seemed to be just fine, so Robert doubled his efforts as he carried on. 

He slid his hands up his torso to play with his nipples, causing him to moan and whine even more, arching into the touch. Robert felt his cock throbbing in his mouth by now, but for some reason, he couldn’t quite seem to get there, he couldn’t quite let go. After a while, he started to sound frustrated, so Robert stopped. 

“What’s wrong, baby?” He asked gently. Jimmy whined helplessly. 

“I don’t know... I just... can’t.” He groaned. Robert gave him a little smile and came closer to wrap his arms around him. At least he hadn’t gone soft in his mouth again like the first time, he was still hard. Robert counted that as a little victory.

“Shh, it’s alright... did you feel too exposed, too vulnerable, like that?” He asked. Jimmy shrugged.

“I don’t know... it felt so good, so very good, but I just couldn’t come...” He sighed, hiding his face against Robert’s chest. “I’m sorry I’m broken.” He then whispered. Hearing those words almost hurt the blonde. 

“You’re not broken, my love...” He said and caressed his back gently. He grabbed the blanket and pulled it over the both of them. “Let’s try like this, let me hold you...” He cooed and started kissing Jimmy’s neck again.

“I feel broken. You were doing all the right things, it felt amazing, and still... it felt like there was... some kind of mental barrier or something... that I just couldn’t get past.” Jimmy complained as he snuggled closer and held on to Robert. 

“Shh... just close your eyes and relax...” The older man whispered and continued caressing the brunette, then started to gently stroke his cock again, just like Jimmy had shown him on that fateful day when he found that horrible note. After a while, the boy made another frustrated noise and huffed.

“It... it’s just gonna start hurting if you keep trying.” He said. He sounded like he was upset at himself, at his body, or at his head maybe, for not working as intended. Robert stopped what he was doing and just held him close. “I... I’ll go wash, I feel gross again.” Jimmy huffed and disentangled himself from the blonde, disappearing into the bathroom. Robert turned on his back and sighed, he wasn’t sure if he should be glad that it hadn’t gone as badly as the first time, or if he should be worried that Jimmy hadn’t been able to come. It clearly wasn’t a physical problem, that much Robert knew, especially when Jimmy came back from the bathroom looking a lot less frustrated, he knew the boy had taken care of the problem by himself. Obviously that had worked just fine. 

The younger man snuggled back into his arms and Robert held him. He didn’t know what to say, he wanted to offer some reassuring words, but he just wasn’t sure what to say. He almost felt guilty about how easy it was for him to come, especially now that Jimmy was having such a hard time. 

He didn’t get a chance to say anything, Jimmy had slept away in his arms quite quickly.


	19. 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy finally gets a job and again, things seem to be looking up, but are they really? Robert makes a shocking discovery.

The next day, Jimmy acted as if nothing had happened, they had breakfast and Jimmy went to therapy, Robert went to work. Neither of them brought it up, the younger man obviously didn’t want to, the older one didn’t dare to. Robert felt completely out of his comfort zone, he never had to deal with anything like this before and he didn’t know how to, either. He wished he had someone to talk to about this, but he didn’t want to bother John with this again. It wasn’t like he could offer any advice, really. 

He hoped Jimmy would mention it to his therapist, at least at some point, maybe she would know what to do. That thought reminded Robert that he, too, had a therapist, but he wasn’t sure if he could talk about stuff like that with her. He decided to let it go for now and if the problem persisted until his next session, he’d mention it and ask for advice. 

When he googled the problem, a lot of the articles he found offered advice for the person with said problem, mostly for women, really, but none of them for their partner other than to be patient and understanding, they said that orgasms weren’t the goal, not the end-all, be-all of sex. He sighed and closed the tabs, that didn’t help at all. 

It occurred to him that the only times Jimmy had been able to come had been when he’d been drunk or high. He sincerely hoped that wasn’t going to become a problem. He sighed again and went back to work instead. It wasn’t hard to lose himself in the book he was editing, so time went by quickly and Jimmy soon came back from therapy.

Today had been the first time he went all on his own and Robert was very proud of him. He noticed that Jimmy was carrying a shopping bag when he came home, he’d been to an art supplies store and bought himself a sketch book and some pencils. Robert wasn’t quite sure where he had the money from, but he must have still had enough to buy that. 

Jimmy joined him in his office and sat on the floor, cross legged, the sketch book on his legs, and started doodling. Robert watched him for a moment, then went back to work. When he needed to rest his eyes, he leaned back in his chair and sighed.

“How’s therapy going?” He asked and Jimmy paused. He drew a few more lines, then put the pencil down. 

“Good, I guess...” He said, then hesitated for a moment before he continued. “She’s nice and easy to talk to... but sometimes it’s... hard. Not because of her, but... sometimes I just don’t want to talk about certain things, but I know I have to. I don’t like it.”

“Yeah, I understand...” Robert answered. He’d noticed that Jimmy was usually in an awful mood whenever he got back from therapy and he couldn’t blame him. He’d go straight to his room and listen to music for a few hours before he felt ready to come out and talk to Robert again. Today was the first time he sought out the blonde’s company right away.

The music he listened to when he was in that mood was awfully dark and depressing, some of the lyrics Robert was able to make out through the closed door made him want to get into his car, drive to the closest bridge and jump right off, but Jimmy had explained to him that he needed that, that if allowed himself to feel like that for a while, he felt better afterwards, so Robert had stopped worrying so much. Allowing those feelings was way healthier than suppressing them, he knew that. Sometimes it felt like he was living with a moody teenager rather than with his boyfriend, though, but of course he didn’t blame Jimmy.

“Sometimes, we just talk about normal stuff and it’s actually fun... but when we get to the... the real stuff, you know... it’s hard.” Jimmy sighed. “I know I have to talk about it and deal with it, but... I’d just rather... not, you see? I’d rather forget and have fun. But she said if I do that, it’s just gonna come back to bite me in the ass some other time, when I least expect it.” 

“Hmmhm. I can see how that could be a problem.” Robert agreed. Jimmy lay down on his back and folded his arms behind his head, staring at the ceiling. 

“I wished I could just... throw away that part of my brain, or at least switch it off and silence it forever so it wouldn’t bother me anymore.” He sighed, twirling his pencil between his fingers. “I don’t wanna think about it anymore. I don’t want to remember anymore. I just want to move on.” 

Robert didn’t know what to say to make him feel better, so he sat up and opened the little fridge under his desk. He took a pint of chocolate chip & cookie dough ice cream from the little freezing compartment and two spoons from the drawer in his desk, then went over to where Jimmy was lying on the floor. He passed him a spoon and opened the little cardboard container of ice cream. The boy gave him an amused look.

“Is ice cream your answer to everything?” He asked as he stuck his spoon in there and took a bite. 

“Not everything... but sometimes, it does help.” Robert said and helped himself as well. 

“It does.” Jimmy agreed and shifted a little, resting his head in Robert’s lap and smiled up at him. The blonde smiled back and offered him another spoonful of ice cream. He took it and grinned. “I’m gonna get fat.” 

“Hell’s gonna freeze over before you get fat.” Robert laughed, wrapping his entire hand around Jimmy’s skinny upper arm. “I’m more worried about myself...” He added and poked his own belly. 

“Aww, you can always use your gym equipment, right?” Jimmy offered, feeding Robert another spoonful in turn. “Spend a few minutes on the treadmill, lift a few weights... you’ll be fine.”

“I could, yes...” Robert agreed. “You could join me.” 

“I’m not very athletic.” Jimmy shrugged. “I could give it a try, though.” He jumped a little when his phone in his pocket buzzed. He quickly took it out and looked at it, his eyes widening. “Oh... I have a job interview!” He gasped.

“Really? Awesome!” Robert exclaimed. “Where, when?” He asked excitedly.

“That record store I applied to, remember? They wanna see me, tomorrow!” Jimmy said. He was obviously excited as well, he’d really wanted that job. “Oh god, I’m so nervous... I never had a job interview before!” He stammered. Robert chuckled and squeezed his hand.

“You’ll do just fine. Just be yourself.” He said gently, but Jimmy snorted.

“That sounds like the worst kind of advice! I thought you should never be yourself if you want a job!” He said. Robert shrugged.

“Depends on where you wanna work, I suppose. If you wanted a job in a law firm or something, you probably shouldn’t be, but in this case, I do think you should be yourself. You do love music and you know a lot about it. That’ll come in handy.” He said encouragingly. Jimmy smiled.

“Well... if all else fails, I’ll just tell them I have a boyfriend who looks like an angel and sings like one, too, they’ll hire me just for that.” He said and Robert blushed. 

Jimmy’s fears proved to be entirely unfounded, he immediately got the job, his enthusiasm for music was all they needed, all they wanted to see. He was absolutely ecstatic, jumping into Robert’s arms, squealing with joy, as soon as he got back from the interview. The blonde spun him around and kissed him, he was so happy that he found a job, a job he’d like, nonetheless.

They celebrated with a bottle of champagne that evening, tumbling into bed together and just as Robert had expected, this time, Jimmy had no problems coming whatsoever, but he was too tipsy and happy to worry about it for now, so he pushed the thought aside and went to sleep as well.

Jimmy started working the next week and he absolutely loved it, he loved being more independent and having something to do other than sitting at home, staring at a screen. It also gave Robert more time to focus on his own business again, he went back to the office way more often and spent less time at home as well, but he always made sure to be home in time for Jimmy to come home, so he wouldn’t come back to an empty house. For the most part, Robert took care of cooking in the evening because he was more flexible and Jimmy often had to work till late in the evening because of the opening hours of the record store, but because he didn’t have to go to work that early, he took care of breakfast instead. It was a good balance, Robert thought.

Sex had become a game of ‘chase the orgasm’, most of the time it just wasn’t happening for Jimmy. It would start out just fine, it was hot and they were really into it, but then Jimmy’s brain would kick in and they had to stop. He reassured Robert that he still enjoyed being close to him that way, but the blonde could tell he was frustrated with himself. It almost seemed to get worse every time, he’d get so upset and so mad at himself it scared Robert.

One time, he’d started crying badly and begging Robert to ‘make it stop’, but the blonde had no idea what he meant or how to help him until Jimmy finally, between sobs, told him that he kept hearing the priest’s voice telling him that this was wrong, that he was awful and disgusting for enjoying and wanting it. Confessing this just made him cry even more and he started hitting his own head, repeating the words ‘shut up’ over and over again until Robert grabbed his wrists and made him stop. With trembling hands, the older man had then called Jimmy’s therapist and asked her to talk to him because the brunette just wouldn’t stop crying and Robert was at a loss. He was scared Jimmy wouldn’t calm down and actually hurt himself. 

Robert was shocked beyond words, he’d never seen the younger man freak out like that. He also felt on the verge of a breakdown himself, he felt like he just couldn’t do this anymore, like he’d been too naive thinking that everything would be fine. The hate he felt for Jimmy’s parents grew tenfold, he still couldn’t believe they did this to him.

With Jimmy’s therapist knowing about this problem, things seems to slowly improve, she gave the boy advice as well as little tips and tricks that he could use in the moment, when it was about to happen yet again, when he was about to have a flashback to those awful exorcisms. The good thing was that Jimmy didn’t actually believe the priest’s words, but he couldn’t quite keep his brain from sending him back to that place sometimes, either. Using his new coping mechanisms, things seemed to slowly get better, though, not perfect, but slightly better.

Everything came to a screeching halt, though, when a few weeks later Robert heard a strange sound while vacuuming under the bed in Jimmy’s room (not that he ever slept in it, he always slept with Robert in the big one in the older man’s bedroom). When he knelt down to look at what had made that sound, he found a plastic bag with several empty bottles in it, beer, whisky, rum, wine.

Shocked, Robert sat on the floor and stared at the contents of the bag for a while, then he groaned. Of course. He should have known, he should have seen the signs. Jimmy had seemed to be so much more at ease recently, relaxed and happy, even sex had been better and Robert thought his new job and his newly found passion for drawing had been the cause. 

He’d also noticed that Jimmy seemed to be even clumsier than usually, he’d always been a little clumsy, Robert thought it was cute, but recently he’d stumbled more often, he’d dropped things for often, he’d even seen him walk into the doorframe rather than straight through the door. He hadn’t thought anything of it, but now he knew why. The giggliness, the clumsiness, sometimes slurring a word or two here and there, the constant popping of breath mints... he should have known what was going on. Maybe he’d been blind to it all because he didn’t want to see it. 

He got up from the floor and started going through Jimmy’s room, against everything inside him screaming at him to stop, to respect the boy’s privacy, but he just couldn’t stop himself. He found a bottle of Bacardi in Jimmy’s wardrobe, wrapped in one of his shirts, hidden underneath some sheets. It was almost half-empty. In the drawer with his underwear, he found a large bottle of vodka, almost empty as well.

“For fuck’s sake, Jimmy!” He yelled, at no one in particular, the boy was at work and couldn’t hear him. He had half a mind to throw the bottles at the wall, but he managed to control the urge. He put them back where he found them and stashed the empty bottles back under the bed as well. He didn’t even know whether he should confront him or not, and if, how to breach the subject. He wanted to yell at him, shake some sense into him, but he knew that wouldn’t help.

It felt like his whole world, this whole illusion he’d built, came crashing down on him and he didn’t know how to deal with it. He left Jimmy’s room, put the vacuum back into the storage room and pulled his phone out of his pocket. He decided to text John.

\-- i know it’s ur day off today, but... i need someone to talk to, could u come over?

He sighed, he felt awful asking John to come over on his day off, he usually spent it with his family, with his kids, but Robert really, really needed a friend right now. Luckily, it didn’t take John long to text back.

\-- be there in 5

He breathed a sigh of relief and went downstairs, waiting for his friend to come over. When he did, John only took one look at Robert’s face and that seemed to be enough for him to know that something was dead wrong, he pulled him into a tight hug, patting his back. The blonde sighed heavily as he rested his head on the shorter man’s shoulder.

“Fuck, Jonesy, I can’t do this anymore...” He groaned.

“What happened?” John asked, pulling back to look at him. Robert shook his head and sighed again, then stepped back, gesturing towards the living room. They sat on the sofa and Robert rested his head in his hands. He didn’t even know where to start. 

“I... fuck, things were going so well, or at least I thought they were...” He said desperately. “You know, with Jimmy’s new job and everything, I thought things were looking up, I thought he was doing well. I mean, yes, there have been some problems, particularly when it comes to... well, sex, but... I didn’t think it was this bad.”

“You’re not making a lot of sense, Robert.” John sighed. “What happened? He didn’t lose his job, did he?” 

“No... he’s really enjoying it and they are really happy to have him, too...” Robert shook his head. “That’s not it. I just... I was vacuuming in his room just now when I heard a strange sound under his bed and when I checked... I found a bag full of empty bottles. Beer and wine, but also rum and whisky. When I checked his room... I found a half-empty bottle of rum in his wardrobe and an almost empty bottle of vodka hidden amongst his underwear.”

“Fuck.” John cursed. “Didn’t you notice, before?” He then asked and Robert laughed humorlessly. 

“I should have. I should have known! I guess I didn’t want to see the signs.” He shook his head again. “You know, he’s always been a little clumsy, but recently... just yesterday, I watched him walk face-first into the doorframe when he came back from the loo. He just giggled and laughed it off, but he was really out of it. He’s been popping mints every few minutes so I wouldn’t smell anything. Every time we were intimate, he disappeared into his room, then into the bathroom, before we started anything. I should have known.”

“How long has this been going on?” John asked.

“He’s always done that, the bathroom thing, I mean. He’s pretty OCD about that, he won’t let me touch him if he hasn’t taken a shower beforehand. But he used to go straight to the bathroom whenever things got... a little heated. He only started going to his room first... well, actually, the week he got his first paycheck, which makes sense. He wouldn’t have had money to buy booze before that.” Robert sighed. “That was two and a half weeks ago.”

“Hmm... so you think he drinks before you have sex, to avoid those problems you’ve been having?” John frowned. Robert nodded.

“I’m pretty sure, yes. The worst thing is that it’s working, too, for the most part. He used to... have problems coming, you know. No matter what I did, he wouldn’t be able to orgasm, something was just holding him back, making it impossible. Sometimes he was having flashbacks to those exorcisms that priest did, it was really bad... but he told his therapist and it seemed to be getting better from then on. I was so happy, everything was working out fine, no more flashbacks, he was enjoying himself, everything was alright! But I guess there was another reason for that.” Robert huffed.

“That’s not good... that’s awful, actually. He’s running away from his problems instead of facing them.” John shook his head as well. “You have to talk to him... let him know that you know what he’s doing. Get him to tell his therapist, too.”

“I know... I just... don’t know how to do that. I’m so scared that if I confront him, he’ll freak out again.” Robert sighed. 

“There’s no way around this, Robert, you have to do this. You can’t let this go on.” John said. “The bathroom thing, too. What if he’s actually developing OCD? It’s not ok.”

“I know.” The blonde repeated. “It’s just... you don’t understand, you don’t know what it’s like... we had such a hard time, he wanted to be with me so badly, but it was so frustrating for him and now, it suddenly isn’t frustrating anymore, it’s working and he’s so happy, he’s enjoying it so much and I’ll have to put an end to that!”

“Is he really enjoying it, though, if he has to be drunk to do it?” John suggested and Robert groaned. 

“I know you’re right... I just... don’t know if I can go through this again. I don’t know if I can do this any longer.” Robert sighed. He almost felt like crying. Almost. “Do you know what it’s like when every time you wanna be with the person you love, it ends in tears rather than bliss and happiness? When he’s crying and begging you to make it stop, to make the voice stop and you can’t, you feel so helpless and useless and there’s nothing you can do!”

John didn’t answer, he just pulled Robert into another hug, rubbing his back soothingly. Robert let himself be held, it felt good to be comforted for a change. 

“What do I do now, Jonesy? I don’t know if I’m strong enough for this. Do you think I was too naive, going into this?” He asked after a while.

“I think so, yes.” John admitted. “Did you think that he would just magically be fine, if you just loved him enough?”

“Maybe I did... I don’t know. I certainly hoped that it’d help.” Robert sighed. 

“That is not how it works, Robert. This isn’t a chick flick or a romance novel, this is real life. It probably does help, of course, it’s good that he has you, that he’s not alone in this, but your love for him can’t solve each and every problem.” John said. “I’d never tell someone to stay in a relationship they don’t feel comfortable in, but... you made a promise to that boy, you promised him that you’d be with him, that you’d help him through this, no matter what, no matter how hard it gets, remember?”

“Yes. I know what I said! I just... don’t know how... to actually do that.” The blonde groaned. 

“Think about it. Is it worth it? Is he worth it? Is everything bad or are there good times?” John prompted. Robert thought about it for a moment. He thought back to the time before Jimmy started drinking. It had been though, but there had been good times.

“No... of course it’s not all bad... we do have a lot of fun together, we have a lot in common, movies, series, books, music, art... we can talk for hours about all sorts of things and it’s really good. I love spending time with him... it’s really easy to live with him, too... he’s a little messy sometimes, but he does make an effort to clean up after himself. We laugh a lot. We like cooking together. Even sex wasn’t all bad. Sometimes, we had little victories, you know, just the little things, Jimmy not freaking out, forgetting about his insecurities, no flashbacks, him actually enjoying it without being drunk. That did happen. Not often, but it did.” Robert said, more to himself than to John. 

“Then is he worth it? Does the good outweigh the bad?” The doctor asked and Robert nodded.

“Yes. Absolutely.” He didn’t even need to think about it.

“Then talk to him, make this right.” John said. “You know, this might not be entirely comparable, but... when I was just 21, I was still in med school, of course... and then, Mo got pregnant. We still don’t know how, she was on birth control, but it happened anyway. We weren’t ready for a child, she was only 18, we had no money, I was in school, but she didn’t want an abortion, either. So she had the baby. I stayed with her, of course, and supported her, or I tried to... but then she got postpartum depression. She couldn’t take care of our baby properly. She couldn’t feed her, she couldn’t change her diapers, she couldn’t do anything. She just slept or she sat there and cried, usually. So I had to take care of my daughter and of my sick girlfriend, while I was in med school, preparing for graduation.” John explained. Robert looked up at him in surprise, he didn’t know that. 

“Fuck... that must have been tough.” He gasped. John nodded.

“There were times when I thought I couldn’t do it anymore, either, you know, between all the studying for school and taking care of the baby, trying to take care of my girlfriend.... Then I looked at my baby, sleeping in my arms, and I knew I had to. For her, for Mo. In the end, it all worked out, she recovered and everything was fine, but... for a while, for a few months, it was hell, but damn was it worth it.” He said. Robert smiled at him and squeezed his shoulder. He knew John’s family, they had two kids now, their oldest daughter was ten years old, the younger one was seven, both of them took after their father a lot and Robert knew how much John loved his family. 

“Thank you for telling me that...” He said and hugged the other man again. “If you managed to get through all that back then, at that age, I know I’ll be fine now.”

“You will be. Just don’t give up. Focus on the good things.” John said. 

“Yeah... Jimmy will be home soon, I guess I better start thinking about what to say...” Robert sighed. “Jonesy? Thank you so much. You’re the best friend in the world. You’ve done so much for us and I don’t even know how to thank you.”

“It’s alright. You know I’m always happy to help. Well... there might be something you could do for me, actually.” John then said with a smile. Robert raised an eyebrow.

“Yes? What is it?” He asked.

“Well... you know... it’s our anniversary next week and I wanted to take Mo out for dinner... but both of our parents happen to be on vacation, so they can’t take the girls... so I thought maybe you and Jimmy... could look after them for an evening...?” He asked carefully. Robert laughed.

“You’d trust us two idiots with your children?” He asked, honestly surprised. 

“Of course. You’re good people and they really like you.” John smiled. 

“Well, in that case, I’d love to. I’ll have to ask Jimmy if he’s ok with that, too, but I don’t see why he wouldn’t be.” Robert answered. “Fuck, I’m nervous. I don’t know what to say to him.” 

“Just... be honest. Tell him that you know what’s going on... be gentle and understanding, tell him that you’re still gonna help him... just don’t yell at him, try not to get mad at him.” John advised.

“Easier said than done. I *am* mad, Jonesy. I can’t believe he kept this from me, he lied to me.” He sighed heavily. “But I know what you mean. I’ll be careful.” He promised.

“Alright... I’ll leave you to it. Call me if you need anything.” John said and squeezed his shoulder once more before getting up. 

“Thank you, again. You’re amazing.” Robert said and John laughed, leaving the room shaking his head at the blonde. Robert stayed on the sofa and tried to figure out what to say to Jimmy, getting more and more nervous with every minute that passed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooh... I promise this will be the last "bad times" chapter! Only "good times" from here on out, promise! <3


	20. 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The talk!

When he heard Jimmy unlock the front door, the got up and started pacing, but then sat back down again, wringing his hands nervously. He didn’t want to do this, he didn’t want to talk about this, he wanted to just ignore the problem until it solved itself, but he knew that wasn’t going to happen. Jimmy came to the living room, smiling at him happily until he saw the state Robert was in. His face fell.

“What happened?” He asked, rushing to the blonde’s side and putting a hand on his shoulder. “Are you alright?”

“I... no. Jimmy, we need to talk.” Robert said carefully. He hadn’t managed to look up at the boy yet, he was too afraid he’d get angry and lash out at him. 

“Okay...?” The younger man said slowly, removing his hand from Robert’s shoulder. The older man took a deep breath and rubbed his face, trying to figure out where to start. “Robert, you’re scaring me, what happened?”

“Please don’t freak out, I promise everything is going to be fine, do you hear me?” Robert started, still not looking at Jimmy. “I know what’s going on, Jimmy, I know you’ve been drinking.” He dropped the bomb. The brunette didn’t answer right away, he was silent for a moment and Robert heard him shift uncomfortably next to him. “I should have known weeks ago, the way you were acting, everything... but I found your stash of bottles, earlier.” Robert continued when Jimmy still didn’t say anything.

“You... went through my stuff?” Jimmy asked in a small voice. Of course he’d make it about that.

“No. I was vacuuming under the bed and bumped against the bag. I heard the glass and wondered what that was.” Robert explained. “I wasn’t snooping around.” He couldn’t believe he had to defend himself and clenched his fist, trying to contain his anger. 

“I... Robert, I... I’m sorry, but... it really helps, can’t you see?” Jimmy said desperately.

“I know! Of fucking course I noticed, trust me! But do you really think that’s a good fucking way to solve problems??” Robert yelled as he looked up at him and hit the coffee table with his palm, hard. He just couldn’t hold back any longer, he needed to at least let some of his anger out. The younger man next to him flinched and squeezed his eyes shut as if he expected the next blow to land on his face, raising his arms protectively.

“Please don’t...” He whimpered and Robert’s heart sank. Immediately, he forced himself to calm down.

“Fuck... Jimmy, I’m sorry.” He gasped. “I told you I’d never hurt you! Yes, I’m angry, I’m fucking furious, but I’d never, ever, hurt you!” Jimmy slowly opened his eyes again, lowering his arms and looked at Robert. Tears welled up in his eyes. “I’m mad at you, yes. I’m upset that you kept this from me, that you lied to me, that you were doing this to yourself. But that doesn’t mean that I love you any less. We’re gonna get through this, too, ok? Let’s just talk about it.” He added, reaching out to gently take Jimmy’s trembling hands into his own. 

“I’m sorry, Robert. I know I fucked up, but... I just... wanted to be normal.” He whispered, looking down at their hands.

“I know. I know why you did it, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. I understand, but you have to stop. It’s not helping, not really, it’s just gonna hurt you in the end.” The blonde sighed.

“I know! Don’t you think I know that?? I don’t even like drinking, makes me feel awful afterwards, but... at least I got to feel normal for a little while.” Jimmy pouted. “We had a really good time, too...” He then added sadly. 

“None of it was real, though. Of course we had a good time, I’m not gonna pretend I didn’t enjoy being with you and seeing you so happy and uninhibited... but knowing why you were like that just makes it feel... wrong.” Robert explained. 

“It was real to me, you know. I was never *that* drunk, just a little tipsy, just enough so I wouldn’t care, so I wouldn’t hear that monster’s voice in my head the whole time... just enough so I could really, truly enjoy what we were doing.” 

“Wouldn’t you rather get to a point where you can enjoy it without being... tipsy?” Robert asked.

“Of course! I just don’t know if I’ll ever get there, therapy doesn’t seem to be helping much when it comes to that!” Jimmy huffed, exasperated. 

“You gotta give it time, baby, you’ve only been in therapy for a few months.” Robert said softly.

“It’s not like it hasn’t been helping at all, I’m being unfair. It has helped. It’s gotten a little easier already. I’m just so terrified it’s gonna come back and I’m gonna feel like that again.” The boy said. “She’s really awesome, sometimes she just lets me rant about whatever I need to get off my chest, sometimes she really sets me straight and helps, she also gives me these little tasks I have to do every day that really help... it’s not all bad.” 

“You’ll have to tell her about this, you know.” Robert suggested. Jimmy nodded.

“I know. I will.” He agreed, then turned towards the other man a little, looking up at him. “I really am sorry I’m making you go through all of this. I know this isn’t easy for you, either. I’m sorry, Robert.” He said earnestly and the blonde managed a little smile before pulling him into his arms, holding him tight.

“It’s ok. We’re gonna be fine. It’s not easy for me either, yes, and sometimes I feel like I can’t do this anymore... but then I just take one look at you and I know that I can do it, that all of this is worth it, you’re worth it.” He said, remembering what John told him earlier. He heard Jimmy’s surprised intake of breath, then a little sob.

“Fuck. Sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve you.” He sniffled.

“Oh Jimmy, you do.” Robert cooed and pulled back to look at the boy, raising his hand to wipe away some tears with his thumb. “You’re not drunk now, are you?” He asked carefully, searching his face. The brunette shook his head.

“No. I don’t drink at work. Only at home. Only when...” He trailed off and shrugged, letting Robert fill in the rest.

“Ok, good. What about... drugs? You’re not taking anything, are you?” Robert asked. 

“What? No! No. I don’t, I don’t need that.” Jimmy said. 

“I know about the cocaine and those little colorful pills... LSD? Extasy? I don’t know... in your backpack.” Robert said slowly. Jimmy blinked at him in surprise.

“Well, they’re still in there, haven’t touched them. You can check, if you want.” He said. “I thought you weren’t going through my stuff?” He then frowned.

“I’m not. I saw those when I washed your stuff that night...” He trailed off and shrugged. “I’m not judging you for it, you know. I’m not a saint, either, you know that. I’m not gonna stop you from getting high once in a while, as long as you’re safe and as long as you don’t use it to run away from your problems. As long as you don’t hide it from me.” Jimmy looked at him, surprised, then nodded.

“Alright, deal. Same goes for you, ok?” He said and Robert nodded as well.

“Deal. Well, there’s something you should know, if we’re being honest and all...” He said. “I freaked out a little, earlier, when I found out and I called John... we talked about it.” He admitted. Jimmy sighed.

“I can’t blame you for it...” He said, shaking his head. “This must be horrible for you and you needed someone to talk to. I understand. I’m not mad. I... I’m just so embarrassed, though.” He sighed. “It’s bad enough that you know, now he knows, too.”

“You don’t have to be embarrassed, baby. John knows what you’ve been through, he’s not judging you for it, either.” Robert reassured him. 

“I’m still embarrassed and ashamed...” Jimmy sighed and rested his forehead on Robert’s shoulder. 

“Don’t be... we’ll fix it.” The blonde cooed and rubbed his back. “Shall we go get rid of those bottles in your room?” He asked. Jimmy looked up at him, then nodded slowly. He got up and took Robert’s hand, pulling him along, his determination made Robert smile. He was incredibly relieved that this had gone so well, the boy hadn’t freaked out, he hadn’t made a huge scene and he’d agreed to be honest with him from now on. When they got to Jimmy’s room, he knelt down and dragged the bag out from under the bed, putting it next to the door to take it outside later. Next, he went to his wardrobe and dug out the rum. He gave the bottle to Robert, then he did the same with the vodka. He thought for a moment, then dug through another drawer and produced a little flask that he also gave to the blonde. 

“That’s it. I think.” He said and shuffled his feet uncomfortably.

“Do you think you can just... stop?” Robert asked carefully. Jimmy nodded.

“I don’t think I’m... addicted, or anything. I don’t need it. I don’t even like it.” He shrugged. 

“Alright. Do you wanna pour this down the drain? You know, symbolically?” He said and offered the bottles to the younger man. Jimmy took hold of the vodka and nodded.

“Yeah. Keep the Bacardi, we can make cocktails with that, but this is definitely going down the drain, it’s disgusting.” He said and Robert laughed as he followed him into the bathroom.

“Do you really think cocktails are a good idea...?” He asked. 

“Why not? I’m not an alcoholic, I can drink responsibly. I just... abused it for a while so I can have sex with you. Fuck, that sounds awful, please don’t take that personally, it’s not because of *you*...” He cringed. Robert shook his head.

“I know what you meant, it’s ok.” He said. Jimmy sighed and opened the bottle.

“Well... goodbye, sweet ignorance...” He said and poured the vodka down the drain, crinkling his nose at the smell of it. He did the same with the little flask that also contained vodka. “Fuck, I’m actually glad I don’t have to do this anymore. Ok, what now?” He then looked at Robert helplessly.

“Now, we’re taking out the trash, and then you’ll help me figure out how to entertain Jonesy’s kids next week. He asked us to babysit for an evening, he wanted to take Mo out for dinner, it’s their anniversary.” Jimmy’s eyes widened.

“What?!?! He knows I drink and he still trusts me around his kids??” He exclaimed. “I don’t even like children! What are we gonna do??” He looked slightly panicked. Robert laughed.

“It’s gonna be fine. They take after their father, they’re really quiet and well behaved, trust me. We’re just gonna play some board games, I’m gonna read them a story or two, and they’ll go to sleep. It’s not that bad.”

“Have you done that before?” The boy asked.

“Yes. Stop worrying so much! It’s not like they’re babies or toddlers, they’re not that hard to look after.” He said, slightly amused at Jimmy’s panicked expression. “And you won’t be drinking, so Jonesy has nothing to worry about.”

“Ok, ok, I guess I can do it. He does deserve a night off, doesn’t he?” Jimmy sighed. “He’s been helping us so much.”

“Exactly. I’m glad we’ll get to do something for him for a change.” He said. The brunette then quickly took the bottles he just emptied as well as the ones in his room and took them outside, throwing them away. He looked relieved when he came back and hugged Robert tightly.

“Thank you. For helping me and for putting up with me. Look, I was wondering if you’d like to come along to therapy, just once or twice? Maybe she has some advice for you, I know it can’t be easy dealing with someone with PTSD every day.” He asked. 

“Oh, you’ve got a diagnosis?” Robert asked, surprised, and Jimmy nodded. His therapist hadn’t diagnosed him with anything so far, so that came as a surprise.

“Well, yes, that one was pretty obvious. She thinks I might have borderline personality disorder, too, but she’s not entirely sure if that’s it or if it’s just another symptom of PTSD.” He sighed and Robert swallowed thickly. He hated thinking about this too much, he hated knowing just how hurt Jimmy was, that inside, he wasn’t nearly as ok as he seemed to be on the outside.

“Isn’t that the one... where people hurt themselves?” He asked carefully, feeling a little stupid for not knowing more about it. He wasn’t ready for another confession like that, if Jimmy actually did that to himself, he wouldn’t know what to do. Jimmy shrugged.

“Not always, apparently. I don’t.” He said and Robert breathed a huge sigh of relief. “I mean, I guess the drinking counts as self destructive behaviour? The fact that I stayed homeless for 3 years and sucked dick for a living instead of trying to get help? The constant self loathing, thinking I’m nowhere near good enough for you, the constant, crippling fear that you’re gonna leave me, send me away, that you don’t really love me, that you’re just with me out of pity... this stupid... what did she call it?... hypersexuality, she said... constantly wanting, no, needing sex even though it’s not really working out? I think she might be right, Robert.” He ranted. 

The blonde was silent for a moment. He didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know enough about that disorder or mental health in general to judge.

“Well, that’ll be for her to decide, Jimmy. Don’t diagnose yourself, you’re not the professional, she is.” He then said. “It’s almost like you WANT to have it, like you wanna be sick.” He shook his head.

“Well... if there’s a name for it, for how I feel... then maybe there’s something I can do against it, you know.” Jimmy said. Robert melted as he heard those words and pulled him into his arms. He held him tightly and caressed his back soothingly. 

“Whatever it is, I’ll be there for you, ok?” He said gently. “Because I *do* love you. I really do. I’m not with you out of pity and I’m not going to send you away, either. I promise.” 

“You do realize that you could say this a million times and a part of me still won’t believe it, right?” Jimmy said sadly. Robert gave him a smile.

“So I’ll say it two million times, or more. It doesn’t matter. I’ll tell you each and every day.” He said. Jimmy shook his head.

“You’re gonna get tired of it.” He sighed. “Of me.” 

“Jimmy, stop it. I’m not gonna lie, I might get tired of having to reassure you, constantly, but if that’s what you need, I’ll do it. I’m not going get tired of *you*. Never.” Robert said firmly. “I’ll come to therapy with you and we’ll see what we can do to make it easier for me, too, ok?” He added and Jimmy finally agreed. 

Seeing Jimmy’s therapist with him was a little weird at first, but it turned out to be right decision. It made it easier for Jimmy to admit to her what he’d been doing and in the end, she had a lot of good advice for Robert as well on how to deal with all of this, particularly with Jimmy’s moods. 

The younger man quickly returned to his shy, self conscious self in bed now that he didn’t drink anymore and at first, that was a little hard to deal with for Robert. He’d gotten so used to the bold, cheeky, playful boy that this threw him off a little at first. 

Jimmy got better and better at getting out of his head and relaxing, though, sometimes almost to the point where Robert feared he’d started drinking again, but that wasn’t the case, he simply felt comfortable. 

He really enjoyed his job, too, it didn’t pay particularly well, but that wasn’t an issue. It gave him a lot of time to focus on his art when there weren’t any people in the store, he’d just doodle away absentmindedly, listening to music, and he soon had quite a large portfolio of sketches. He hadn’t let Robert see any of them, though, he still felt quite self conscious about his art.

The babysitting went a lot better than Jimmy had feared as well, the girls were as well behaved as Robert had promised and he didn’t have an issue with them at all, they even asked John to let them stay over at ‘Uncle Robert’s’ more often. 

Time went by quickly and January came, bringing with it Jimmy’s 20th birthday. Robert rented them a fancy club in town for the evening and they had a big party with Jimmy’s friends, both his old friends and new ones he found at work, even John and his wife and Robert’s Mom showed up for the party. It had been wonderful to see Jimmy laugh and have so much fun, he even danced a little, which was a whole nother level of adorable, he was so awkward and clumsy, but Robert loved him all the more for it.

A few weeks later, Robert decided to go home early one day, he’d been working a lot and needed some time to relax. It completely slipped his mind that Jimmy had that day off as well.

When he came home and went to the bedroom to take off his suit and slip into something more comfortable, he walked in on something that instantly made his mouth go dry and his cock harden so quickly it was almost painful. He could only stare at the sight in front of him with eyes the size of saucers, unable to move or avert his gaze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, the story is definitely nearing its end, but what did Robert see??


	21. 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Porn with Plot. And there's art.

The beautiful vision that greeted him took his breath away and made his jaw drop. 

There, in front of the large mirror of Robert’s huge mahogany wardrobe, was Jimmy, almost completely naked except for... a pair of small, white lace panties. He was just looking at himself, turning a little in front of the mirror, lazily rubbing himself through the see-through fabric of the panties. From what Robert could make out in the mirror, he was hard, the thin lace stretched over his cock. He’d lined it up pointing upwards and the tip was just barely peeking out of the waistband at the top.

Robert didn’t think he’d ever gotten so turned on so quickly in his life. Jimmy looked incredibly hot like that, the panties fit him like a glove, his perky little ass looked amazing in them. What really got Robert was the stark contrast between the cute, delicate thing he was wearing and his decidedly masculine body. He wasn’t the spindly, sickly, skinny boy he’d picked up off of the street half a year ago, he looked strong and healthy now. Jimmy didn’t look feminine at all despite the lingerie and his long hair and the way he was standing on his tiptoes like he was wearing heels, his body had almost no curves, he had body hair and of course there was his cock that was visible through the lace, he was definitely quite masculine. The contrast between that and those tiny, cute panties made Robert’s head spin and his cock throb. 

Jimmy noticed Robert almost right away, of course, and turned around with a shocked expression, his face reddening immediately. It took the older man another second or two to react, he was still too stunned by what Jimmy looked like.

“Oh fuck, I forgot you’re home... I’m sorry, I’ll just, uh, go...” He stammered and made to leave to give Jimmy some privacy, this was obviously not something he should be intruding on, everybody needed some time on their own from time to time after all, even if they were in a relationship. He turned around, not without another glance at the boy and left the room, making to close the door, but Jimmy stopped him.

“Robert, wait. Don’t leave.” He called, so Robert froze and slowly turned back around. When he looked at Jimmy, the boy’s gaze was fixed on his crotch and he bit his lip. Of course there was no way he could hide his reaction, especially not in this suit he was wearing, the trousers showed quite clearly that he liked what he saw. “You don’t have to leave if you don’t want to.” Jimmy added shyly and smiled at him. Robert knew that he’d felt self conscious, embarrassed even, initially, but now that he saw how the other man felt, he didn’t mind as much. 

“Are you sure, baby? It’s ok to... well, have some... uh... ‘me-time’. I don’t mind.” Robert said awkwardly, but he smiled back and leaned against the doorframe.

“I’m sure, yes.” Jimmy answered. “This is part of therapy, you know.” 

“What? She’s making you wear panties?” Robert asked in disbelief. Jimmy actually laughed, throwing his head back and putting his hand on his lace-clad hip.

“What? No! Oh, Robert.” He shook his head and grinned at the blonde. “She’s not making me, I wanted to. This is part of the whole... embracing my sexuality thing. Learning to come to terms with the things I like, the things that turn me on and learning that there’s nothing wrong with them. This is one of the things I felt the most... weird... about, you know... so she told me to just do it. On my own, at first, until I’m comfortable with it. Just put them on, look at myself, get used to it... explore it.” He explained. 

“Ah... I understand. That sounds like a good idea. Are you really sure you’re ready to share this with me, though?” Robert asked again. 

“I am. At first, I felt embarrassed, but then I noticed the way you looked at me... I never saw you get hard that quickly.” Jimmy said and bit his lip. “That made me feel really good.” He admitted. Robert grinned at that, he knew Jimmy loved that he could get him all riled up incredibly quickly if he tried and he loved feeling wanted, desired.

“It did, huh? Well, you look... absolutely and utterly amazing.” Robert gushed in a single breath of air, happy to finally be able to say so. “I had no idea I was into this, but... damn, I am. You’re so beautiful and so, so sexy.” He sighed. Jimmy grinned at him in turn.

“You look really good in that suit, too, you know...” He said, all flirty, turning a bit to let the other man look at him some more. Robert quickly glanced down his own body, then back at Jimmy. He didn’t wear suits often, he didn’t really like it, he prefered more casual clothes, but today he had to because he had an important meeting. This was the first time Jimmy saw him in a nice bespoke suit, although now it looked a little wonky because of what was going on inside his trousers. 

“Well, they do say suits are like lingerie for men.” Robert said teasingly. He had been told that with his broad chest and shoulders and his narrow hips, suits like this one looked incredible on him. He’d shrugged it off, then, but Jimmy definitely seemed to like it, as well. The younger man blushed a little more.

“I think I prefer this kind on me...” He said and dragged a finger along the waistband of his panties. Robert’s eyes followed his motion and he cursed under his breath when Jimmy sighed softly as his finger brushed against his cock. “Are you gonna stay over there all day?” Jimmy prompted and Robert didn’t need him to ask twice, he pushed himself off of the doorframe and made his way over to the boy. He gently put his hands on his hips, feeling the lace there, and pulled him in for a kiss. 

“Hmm, you’re almost taller than me when you’re on your tippy toes like that.” Robert chuckled and Jimmy grinned, putting his arms around the other’s neck. 

“Sorry... makes my butt look curvier when I stand that way.” He explained, blushing again.

“Don’t apologize, I don’t mind... I could get you a pair of heels...” Robert whispered and the younger man bit his lower lip.

“Would you like to see me like that?” He whispered in turn. He clearly liked the thought. The blonde nodded.

“Yes.” He said simply, sliding his hands down the younger mans back to cup his butt, squeezing ever so slightly. He loved the way the soft lace felt on his skin. It was obviously rather cheap, just lycra, nothing fancy, but it still felt really good. “I’d love to get you some more lingerie, too, if you’d like.”

“Yeah... you can choose what you wanna see me in, that would be so hot.” Jimmy admitted.

“Hmmhm. I’ll get you such pretty things, baby, lace, satin, silk, whatever you want...” He purred and pulled the younger man even closer, gently kissing his neck. He had no idea he would be into this so much.

“Yes, please...” Jimmy whispered, slowly rolling his hips against Robert’s.

“Ah, fuck... can you feel what you’re doing to me? You make me so hard...” The blonde moaned. Jimmy gasped in response to that and kissed him heatedly. He rolled his hips against Robert a few more times, until the blonde pulled back, looking at his surprised face for just a moment before slowly sinking to his knees in front of the brunette.

The younger man blinked at him in surprise and his face became even redder, but he reached out to gently caress Robert’s face and ran his hands through his wild blonde curls.

“Don’t be shy... don’t be embarrassed... it’s ok.” Robert cooed, then leaned in to nuzzle Jimmy’s crotch, dragging the tip of his nose just along the outline of his cock that was visible through the lace. “You’re so sexy like this and you turn me on so fucking much.” He moaned, letting the other man feel his hot breath on his cock.

Jimmy bit his lip and relaxed a little bit, closing his eyes to enjoy what the other man was doing with his mouth, the feeling of his hot breath against his skin, his lips against the lace. He opened his his eyes again once he regained his composure and watched as Robert kept mouthing along his lace-covered cock.

When the teasing became just a little too much, Jimmy started tugging at his hair, whimpering helplessly and looking down at him pleadingly. He needed more. Robert grinned wickedly and slowly licked along the tip of his cock that was now peeping out of the lace panties completely. He remembered Jimmy telling him he didn’t like too much stimulation there, to he kept his touches light, just wrapping his lips around the very tip and sucking lightly. 

Robert was so turned on at that point that it was almost painful and he reached down to unbutton and unzip his trousers, slowly stroking himself as he sucked and licked. He saw Jimmy’s eyes darting towards the mirror and he gasped as he saw what Robert was doing. 

“Fuck...” A little moan and another gasp left the brunette’s mouth as he watched Robert’s hand move on his own cock.

“Sorry... can’t help myself...” Robert grinned cheekily, then went back to sucking and licking at Jimmy’s cock, the hand that wasn’t stroking his own cock was firmly rubbing Jimmy’s shaft through the white lace. 

The younger man watched his movements in the mirror for a moment longer before looking down at his face again. A little smile graced his features before he moaned again.

“It’s... ok. More than ok. It’s so hot. Please don’t stop.” He whispered. After a while, he started grabbing Robert’s hair almost roughly. He made him move his head a little and gasped when he hit the right spot with his tongue. The blonde didn’t mind, on the contrary, he loved it when Jimmy took charge and showed him what he wanted and him moving his head, his mouth on him, like that, only turned him on even more. Robert allowed him to change the position a little and grind against his face as he closed his eyes again, for just a moment, but he didn’t keep them closed for long, he wanted to watch what the other man was doing.

Robert wasn’t quite sure what Jimmy enjoyed more, his mouth on him or watching him touch himself in the mirror, but then again, it didn’t really matter as long as he had a good time.

“Don’t come, though.” Jimmy said breathily and Robert immediately slowed down the movement of his hand, not quite sure why, but he’d do whatever the brunette asked him to right now, anyway. He was sure there was a reason for that request and he was gonna do as he was told. Jimmy probably had something in mind that he wanted to do, so Robert was more than happy to comply.

He gently pulled the panties down just a tiny little bit more, just to give him a little more access to Jimmy’s cock, then turned his head a little so he could also look at them in the mirror. He couldn’t help but moan as he saw the picture they presented, Jimmy in lingerie, Robert in his suit, his hair pulled back partially by Jimmy’s hand, they looked insanely hot.

He felt Jimmy push against his face a little more insistently, so he stopped watching and focused on pleasuring him instead. He looked up at him again, but Jimmy wasn’t looking at him, his eyes were fixed on the mirror, unable to look away. His breathing was getting more and more erratic and Robert could feel he was close, hell, he could even taste it.

He was taken by surprise ever so slightly when Jimmy came, he hadn’t expected it to happen so quickly (or at all, if he was completely honest), he’d never gotten him off so quickly before. Holding back was even more difficult now, he almost desperately wanted to come, too, but he didn’t, instead he made sure to clean the younger man up properly, making sure nothing got on the panties. When he was done licking him clean, he sat back on his heels and looked up at him.

“What do you want me to do? Why didn’t you want me to come?” He asked and Jimmy chewed his lower lip. He reached out to caress Robert’s face gently. 

“Because there’s something I wanted to do any I need you hard for that.” He whispered. “Would you let me draw you? I... I’ve been meaning to ask for a while, but I didn’t have the courage until now.” If he hadn’t been kneeling in front of Jimmy with his dick out already, Robert probably would have blushed, but considering how aroused he was right now, he didn’t feel shy in the least. He grinned up at the younger man.

“You wanna draw me like one of your french... boys? Titanic-style?” He said teasingly. Jimmy ran his hands through his curls and pulled his head back a little, shaking his own head at him in disapproval, but he had an amused little smile on his face as well.

“Don’t make fun of me, you silly man. Will you let me?” He asked again. Robert chuckled and nodded.

“Yes, of course. Where do you want me?” He asked. The whole thing was very exciting if he was being honest, so he didn’t mind at all. “Do you want me to take off my clothes?”

“The bed. Get on the bed.” Jimmy answered. “Keep the suit on... actually, take the jacket off, keep the rest on, yes, just the waistcoat, like that... let me...” He followed Robert to the bed and once the blonde was lying down on his back, propped up on his elbows, he loosened his tie and opened the first few buttons of his shirt and pulled it apart just a bit. He even reached into his trousers and arranged his cock so that it was completely on display. 

“Do you realize how hot this is? You, arranging me like this, like a piece of art?” Robert asked as he looked up at Jimmy. “I’m so turned on right now.” The boy grinned cheekily.

“I can see that. Good thing that this is exactly how I want you.” He said teasingly. “Now, roll up your sleeves... yeah, that’s good.” He nodded, then took a step back. “Ok, you look amazing... be right back.” He quipped, then quickly left the room. Robert couldn’t help but stare at his butt, still clad in those little panties, as he left. He came back just a few seconds later with his sketchbook and some charcoal to draw with. He hopped on the wide windowsill and put the sketchbook on his legs, then looked over at Robert again, pausing.

“What do you want me to do? Just... lie there?” The older man asked. Jimmy shook his head.

“No... prop yourself up a little, on your elbow, and touch yourself...” He instructed and Robert did just that. “Wait... keep your hand like this.” The brunette said and showed him how to hold his hand. “Nice and relaxed, don’t tense up so much... yeah, like that.” He ended up holding his cock lightly, it didn’t feel particularly good, but it probably looked pretty good for what Jimmy had in mind, so he went with it. He heard the charcoal scratching across the paper as the boy started drawing. 

“Jimmy...? Could you... turn around just a bit... so can see you...?” He asked carefully after a while. He didn’t want to disturb Jimmy, but he was afraid he wasn’t going to stay hard if he didn’t get some kind of stimulation, at least visually. 

“Hm? What? Oh! This?” Jimmy asked, slightly confused at first, then he got what Robert meant. He sat up a little and turned sideways so Robert could see the lace covering his hips and the side of his butt. 

“Yeah... this isn’t easy, you know, sitting here like this, with you looking at me like that, and not... well, *doing* anything.” Robert explained as he let his eyes wander over Jimmy’s body. “Do I get a reward once you’re done?”

“Hmm, if you behave, I might consider it, yes.” Jimmy winked at him and Robert groaned. He moved his hand a little, stroking himself to get some relief, just for a bit. “Hey. Stop that.” Jimmy said and frowned at him.

“What if I don’t?” Robert asked cheekily.

“Well, it’s gonna be your fault if I don’t get into art school...” Jimmy cooed and Robert stopped.

“Wait. You wanna use this for your portfolio to apply for art school...?” He asked slowly. Jimmy nodded.

“If you’re ok with that, of course. I’m not drawing your face or your hair, just up to your neck, nobody’s gonna know it’s you.” He said quickly.

“In that case... yes, it’s ok.” Robert agreed. The thought that someone else was going to see Jimmy’s drawing made him a little uneasy at first, but then it also turned him on. He wasn’t much of an exibistionist, but if nobody was gonna know it’s him, where was the harm in that? He relaxed again and let Jimmy carry on while he entertained himself by looking at the boy in his cute lingerie and thinking about what he was gonna do when he was done.

“OK... I think I’m done. Wanna see?” Jimmy quipped after a while and Robert sighed in relief, he’d been getting really bored already. He nodded and sat up as the boy came over to him, sitting on the bed next to him. He actually gasped in surprise when he saw the sketch. It hadn’t taken all that long (although it had felt like ages to Robert), but it was incredibly detailed and really, really good. He blushed a little at the way he looked in the sketch, Jimmy had only drawn the bed very roughly, his clothes were a little more detailed, but the most emphasis was on his hand and his cock.

“Wow... that’s... you’re amazing. I had no idea you could draw like that.” Robert whispered as he started at the drawing. “It’s... very realistic.” He cleared his throat and Jimmy grinned at him. 

“Well... what can I say... I really love your cock... and I really like your hands, and now I finally got to draw both. Only ever drawing your hands got a little boring.” He said. 

“You drew my hands before?” Robert asked in surprise. Jimmy nodded.

“They’re my favorite thing to draw. I often drew them when I sat with you in your office...” He said and turned the page of his sketchbook and indeed, there were several drawings of Robert’s hands, resting on his desk, typing on his keyboard, holding a spoon with ice cream. 

“I... didn’t even notice.” He gasped. “I didn’t know you had a thing for my hands...”

“I do... they’re gorgeous. They’re big and strong, yet, when you touch me, they’re oh so gentle.” He whispered and blushed. Robert smiled, he hadn’t know that Jimmy felt like that about him, that he thought about his hands that way, but it was very endearing. He then looked up at Robert again and pushed the book aside. “Well, you’ve suffered for long enough, let me...” He reached out to touch Robert, but he stopped him.

“Wait. Your hands are all black. Let me get out of this suit...” He chuckled as he saw the state of Jimmy’s hands, they were full of charcoal. The boy blushed even more and quickly got up to wash his hands. When he got back, Robert was already naked and had safely put the suit back into the wardrobe. Jimmy quickly pulled him towards the bed and pushed him on it, then straddled him and kissed him.

“I might just be ready to go again, too...” He grinned cheekily. He was still wearing those lace panties and Robert could see that he was getting hard again. 

“Hm, the miracles of youth...” The blonde teased, reaching out to palm him through the lace. Jimmy moaned softly and pushed himself against Robert’s hand.

“Oh, stop, it’s supposed to be your turn... you’ve waited long enough.” He whined, but he couldn’t quite help himself, he couldn’t get enough of feeling Robert’s hands on him. He shifted a little and took said hands, placing them on his butt instead and scooting a little closer, so that he could grind against Robert instead. 

“You’re gonna make me ruin those poor panties...” The blonde groaned, but Jimmy just grinned at him.

“Good. You’re gonna buy me new ones anyway... nicer ones, prettier ones...” He purred. Robert loved how he didn’t mind that thought at all, a few months ago he would have fought him over this, not wanting him to buy him anything at all. Now he was openly asking for it. 

“Yes. Are you brave enough to walk into a boutique with me or shall I order something online...?” 

“Hmm, maybe we can start online...” Jimmy said, almost shyly. “Let me work up to going to an actual store with you.”

“Alright, we’ll go at your pace.” Robert smiled at him and kissed him deeply. He squeezed his butt again, then slowly slid a hand inside the panties, caressing his butt gently and slowly.

“For now... I want you to... come all over these.” Jimmy whispered with a wicked grin before kissing him again, moving his hips against Robert faster and harder. “Can you do that for me?” 

“Fuck... yes...” Robert groaned and tried to move his hands between them again, but Jimmy batted them away gently, grabbing his cock instead and rubbing it against himself. The lace increased the friction all the more and Robert hissed at the way that felt.

“If they could see me now... in your arms... wearing this... and how much I’m enjoying this...” Jimmy then said, a wide, happy smile on his face and Robert looked up at him in surprise. Of all the things he could have possibly said, that was the one Robert expected the least. Of course he knew exactly who he meant by ‘they’. He didn’t quite know how to respond, he was glad that Jimmy felt that way, that he was happy to do this, but he was afraid of bringing back bad memories.

He must have noticed that Robert didn’t know what to say, he laughed and shook his head, sending his long, black locks flying wildly. 

“It’s ok, you don’t have to say anything... I’m just... so happy. I feel free. Finally.” He said and Robert smiled back at him, then pulled him even closer, wrapping his arms around him and holding him tight as he kissed him. It felt amazing to hear him say that and, more than that, to see it on his face.

“You have no idea how glad I am to hear that.” He murmured against the boy’s lips. “I love you so, so much.” 

“Hmm, I love you, too...” Jimmy said in between kisses, amused and laughing as Robert attacked his neck with more kisses and licks. “I still want you to ruin my lingerie, though...” He then said cheekily, his eyes sparkling with mirth as he looked at the blonde. He started moving his hand between them faster.

“Let’s both ruin it...” Robert answered, rolling his hips up against the younger man’s. He slid his hand inside the panties to stroke Jimmy’s cock in rhythm with the other’s hand on his own cock. He then leaned in to kiss the boy’s chest and suck and lick at his nipples just the way he knew he liked. Jimmy again surprised him by being the first one to come. Robert buried his face in the crook of his neck, then lightly bit down on his shoulder as he followed suit a few strokes later.

He heard Jimmy laugh softly once he caught his breath and looked down between their bodies. They had indeed completely ruined the panties.

“That was incredibly fucking hot.” Jimmy sighed, then snuggled into Robert’s arms, resting his head on his shoulders. 

“Thank you for sharing this with me, baby.” Robert whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to the boy’s forehead.

“I’m so glad you’re into it, too... I was so nervous...” He admitted. 

“Aww, don’t be... I loved this.” Robert cooed. He held Jimmy close and smiled happily to himself. Moments like these just proved to him that it had all been worth it, all the horrors they had to go through, all the fear, every fight, every flashback, every time he had to hold Jimmy when he cried, it was all worth it. They held each other close for a while, neither of them wanting to move despite the mess between their bodies. 

“Will you let me draw you again? You’re my muse now.” Jimmy murmured sleepily. Robert laughed.

“Am I? Well, I can’t say I didn’t enjoy it, although it wasn’t easy, staying hard for that long without doing anything...” He admitted.

“You don’t have to be hard every time... maybe I’ll just want to draw your face. Or your arms, your shoulders... you have a lovely body.” The boy sighed, nuzzling his neck.

“Flattery will get you anywhere...” Robert said, amused, shaking his head. “You’ll easily get into art school, you’re incredibly talented.” He then said encouragingly and Jimmy pulled back to smile at him.

“You think so? I did some other stuff, too, some digital stuff, I have these... fantasy landscapes that I came up with, they’re really pretty and I’m a little proud of those, too...” He admitted. Robert had given him an expensive drawing tablet for his birthday and he knew he’d been using it, but he hadn’t seen anything Jimmy had drawn yet. 

“I’d love to see them.” Robert said. “I am sure they’ll take you, they’d be stupid not to. You’re amazing.” Jimmy just smiled at him happily and kissed him, slowly and lazily, then got off of his lap and pulled him into the bathroom to clean up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Young Jimmy Page in lace panties? Oh god, yes please. Robert in a bespoke suit, Kingsman style? Oh god, yes please! :D


	22. 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More porn, more feelings, more art! :)

Jimmy blossomed beautifully from then on, he was still extremely shy about asking Robert to try new things, but at least he did ask and the older man never turned him down. 

He no longer hesitated to ask Robert to let him draw him in various poses, in various parts of the house, whether it was in the kitchen while he was cooking or in his office or just while he was watching TV. Drawing his hands was still his favorite thing, he’d ask him to hold certain objects or do certain things with his hands constantly.

He had been a little more shy about asking to be allowed to draw Robert in various states of undress, starting with him working out in the basement, then shirtless, lifting weights, he’d drawn him in the shower, naked in bed, he had even bought a thin silk sheet to cover Robert with and draw him like that. The way his body showed through the thin sheet made him look like an ancient sculpture and Jimmy had loved that (a lot, judging by the way he’d ravaged Robert once he was done drawing).

Robert wasn’t the only thing that inspired Jimmy, though, they spent a lot of time outside, hiking, in the forest or through fields even though they had to drive for a while to get out of the big city, Robert didn’t mind. He loved how inspired Jimmy was after one of those days, he’d immediately go up to his room to use his drawing tablet. 

The fantasy landscapes he came up with were absolutely breathtaking, beautiful, colorful forests with huge trees, ferns, mushrooms, he’d dream up fantastic creatures that looked like nothing Robert had ever seen before. 

Jimmy explained to him that these landscapes, these forests, were where he fled to in his mind when things got particularly bad, when his father had beaten him, when he’d been cold and starved when he had been homeless, when a client was very rough with him, he’d imagined himself in one of these beautiful dreams, blocking everything else, and now he had the chance to actually make them come true, in a way. 

Sadness had taken hold of Robert when he realized that all this gorgeous art came from such a terribly dark place, but he was also happy that Jimmy now had the opportunity to turn it into something good. 

The older man was particularly impressed when Jimmy showed him that he’d taught himself how to animate some of his digital drawings. He’d made a scarce, burnt down forest without any living plants, no leaves, nothing, turn into one of his beautiful, lush ones and it was a joy to watch. Robert was incredibly proud of him and how quickly he’d learned to do that.

Robert had made good on his promise of buying him more lingerie, he’d ordered him the prettiest, most expensive things he could find, made from the finest fabrics, in all sorts of colors. He found that emerald green looked particularly good on him.

Another time, Jimmy had almost died when he’d found a pair of Louboutins waiting for him on the bed, a classic pair of black pumps with the signature red sole. The scream of delight Robert heard all the way downstairs in the kitchen when the younger man had found the box had definitely been worth it (as was what followed...). 

Jimmy never wore any of those things outside the house, or outside the bedroom for that matter, he kept his usual, rather masculine style of mostly black, very rock-star, spicing it up a little with some scarves and accessories. Even though Robert told him that it’d be ok if he wanted to dress differently, more feminine, he’d shaken his head, that wasn’t what he wanted, he only liked the heels and the lingerie in the bedroom. 

Today, it was Valentine’s day and Jimmy was still at work. Robert knew that the younger man wasn’t a huge fan of overly cheesy, romantic gestures, or at least he pretended not to like it at all, Robert was pretty sure he did like at least some of it, but he decided not to push his luck and didn’t buy any chocolates or roses, but he did want to do something special for the occasion. 

The one thing he knew for sure Jimmy liked, a lot, was... him. So he decided that would be what the younger man was getting for Valentine’s day. Not that he couldn’t have Robert whenever he wanted, pretty much, but today, the blonde wanted to take it a little further. He’d wanted to do that for a while, but he had been a little reluctant, he didn’t want to push Jimmy into something he didn’t want. 

Robert had longed to take it that one, final step further for a while now and he felt that today was a perfect opportunity. He knew that Jimmy bottoming wasn’t going to happen, not after what had been done to him, but he was more than fine with that. 

He knew that it would be fine as long as he let Jimmy be in charge, they’d found that out pretty quickly. The younger man always needed to be in control of what was happening, of what they were doing, if Robert as much as tried to take over, Jimmy would be turned off immediately and they’d have to stop. While the reason for this made Robert sad, he didn’t mind it much. Of course he’d love to have his way with the younger man from time to time, but it just wasn’t possible, so he stopped thinking about it.

None of this meant that Robert couldn’t ask for things he wanted, of course, and today he was most definitely going to. Initially, he’d contemplated using things like rose petals and the like to make a trail to the bedroom, but then he’d thought better of it. 

Jimmy liked it best when he was dorky and funny, so he’d grabbed a stack of post-it’s and started drawing stick figures on them, one with bigger, curly hair and one with longer, wavy hair. He drew them in various poses having sex and scattered them on the floor, all the way from the main door to the bedroom, like a trail. He absolutely sucked at drawing, unlike Jimmy, so they looked terrible and awkward, but very funny and cute. He then grabbed some of his and Jimmy’s clothes and scattered them across the floor as well, as if they’d undressed each other on the way to the bedroom. He was pretty sure the younger man would get the message. 

In front of the bedroom door, he put a brand new bottle of lube. If that didn’t get the message across, what was waiting inside definitely would. Just before Jimmy got home, after he spent a considerable amount of time in the bathroom, Robert lay on the bed, on his stomach. He popped a pillow underneath his hips so his butt would be raised up a little. This way, every thrust would let him rub against the pillow, giving him some much needed friction as a nice little side effect. It had been a while since he’d done this, but when he did, this was definitely his favorite position. He liked the way it made him feel, being offered to Jimmy like this and he had an inkling that the younger man would like it a lot, too. 

By the time Jimmy finally came home, Robert had worked himself up quite a bit already, just thinking about what a picture he presented and how Jimmy would react turned him on like crazy. When he heard the door downstairs being unlocked, the grabbed the corner of the pillow his head was resting on in anticipation. He heard the boy’s laughter when he discovered the first few crude drawings, then he heard his footsteps coming up the stairs, laughing every so often when he picked up another one of Robert’s silly stick figure drawings. When he made it to the bedroom, he opened the door and leaned against the doorframe, holding the bottle of lube and a stack of notes as he raised an eyebrow at Robert, a wide smile almost splitting his face.

“You’re so silly, do you know that? You’re such an idiot!” He said lovingly, still laughing. “Is this your idea of... romance?” He asked, raising the bottle inquiringly as he let his eyes wander over the other man’s bared body appreciatively. Robert grinned at him.

“Well, I knew chocolates and roses wouldn’t do it for you, so I thought this would be more up your alley...” He trailed off and shrugged. “Besides, I was really fucking horny.”

“You could have just said so, you know...” Jimmy chuckled and came over to the bed. He sat on the edge and gently trailed his fingers down Robert’s spine.

“I could, but where’s the fun in that? I made you laugh, that’s much better.” Robert said.

“True.” Jimmy agreed. He put the bottle of lube down on the bed and sighed heavily. “Well, I have very, very bad news for you, love.” He then said and Robert didn’t like the way his voice sounded, full of mischief. 

“Oh no. You do?” He asked, biting his lip.

“Uh-huh. You can’t just present yourself to me like this, looking utterly breathtaking, and expect me not to want to...” He paused for effect - “... draw you.” He finished and Robert groaned.

“Fuck, Jimmy, no... you can’t do this to me, please... do it later, I don’t care, but not now, please.” He begged, burying his face in his pillow. The brunette chuckled.

“I have to do it when inspiration strikes, and it just did, so... patience.” He said and got up again. Robert whined. “Just a quick sketch, I won’t take long, promise.”

“Jimmy! Nooooo! Please...” He groaned in frustration and wiggled his ass, hoping it’d sway the other man, but he just laughed again and left the room, probably to get his sketchbook. Robert sighed, he knew he couldn’t really argue with Jimmy if he wanted anything to happen between them, so he resigned himself to his fate and waited. 

Luckily for him, the younger man really didn’t take long, no longer than a few minutes, then he put the sketchbook away again, but to Robert’s dismay, he went to take a shower. He really should have expected that, spontaneity really wasn’t one of Jimmy’s qualities when it came to matters of the bedroom. He felt himself slowly dozing off. 

Only a few minutes later, though, he was woken up again by gentle, teasing kisses to his neck and shoulder. He shivered and smiled sleepily, that felt really good, but he didn’t open his eyes. 

“Sorry for making you wait...” Jimmy whispered into his ear, his sweet, soft voice made Robert’s insides melt. “Let me get you back into the mood.” He purred then and Robert felt that he was, again, only wearing his fluffy bathrobe.

“Hmm, I’m all yours.” He sighed and Jimmy paused. 

“Are you sure you want this...?” He asked and Robert could tell he was slightly insecure now. He nodded firmly.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about it since we first talked about it. I want you inside me.” He said. He heard Jimmy gasp softly and nuzzle his neck. He shifted a little on the bed and started peppering soft kisses all over his upper back.

“I want that, too.” He then admitted. He spent quite a while kissing Robert’s neck and caressing him all over until he was just a melted puddle on the bed, utterly relaxed.

He then started kissing down Robert’s back, lower and lower and... oh. The blonde gasped in surprise and spread his legs a little wider. Nobody’s ever done *that* to him before and he was absolutely flabbergasted that his little germaphobe of a boyfriend would do that (which made him all the happier about all the time he’d spent in the bathroom previously). The younger man just continued to surprise him.

Jimmy chuckled at Robert’s surprised gasp and bit his buttcheek lightly before his tongue darted out again, teasingly licking across the other’s hole. Robert moaned and cursed as Jimmy licked from right behind his balls all the way up to his tailbone. He mouthed and licked along his taint again, then circled his entrance with his tongue, stiffening it a little to tease him some more. Robert had never felt anything like that before and damn, was it exciting. 

“Jimmy, please... I want...” He moaned, then bit the pillow as the other man poked the tip of his tongue in just the tiniest little bit. He kissed his tailbone again and sat up a little, reaching for the lube. “Fuck, yes... just lube up and go for it, no fingers, please.” He said. 

“Oh... are you... sure?” Jimmy asked, slightly taken aback, but Robert nodded.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m sure, I’ll be fine, just go for it.” He said eagerly. He almost felt like he needed it to happen right now, if he didn’t get to feel Jimmy inside of him within the next few seconds, he’d just combust spontaneously or something.

“I... I’m gonna need a moment.” Jimmy stammered and shrugged off the robe. 

“Are you nervous?” Robert asked gently, looking at the younger man across his shoulder. He was slowly stroking himself to get hard and Robert instantly felt bad for rushing him, he obviously hadn’t been ready yet. “I didn’t mean to rush you, take your time.”

“I... I am nervous. I’ve never done this before.” Jimmy sighed. “I want it to be good for you, I don’t wanna mess up...” 

“You’re gonna do just fine... you’ve never done what you just did to me, either, right? And that felt fucking amazing.” He said encouragingly.

“Yeah... true, you really liked that...” Jimmy said as if he only just realized it and grinned. He took the bottle of lube and drizzled some on Robert. “Really, no fingers? I don’t want to hurt you.” He asked, gently teasing the other’s entrance with the tip of a finger to spread the lube.

“You won’t. I don’t need much preparation, it’s alright.” He reassured him again.

“Huh. You’re a lot more experienced with this than I thought you were.” Jimmy said, a little surprised. 

“I’ve done it before, yeah. It’s been a while, though... just go slowly.” Robert said and watched over his shoulder as the younger man spread a generous amount of lube on himself as well before tossing the bottle aside and getting back between the other’s spread legs. Robert closed his eyes and bit his lip in anticipation as Jimmy slowly slid the tip of his dick between his buttcheeks, teasing him with it some more before slowly starting to push in. He was nowhere near as big as Robert, but he most definitely wasn’t small either, so the older man soon felt deliciously filled up and moaned softly at the feeling. 

After a little gasp, Jimmy stopped moving and Robert opened his eyes again. 

“You alright, baby?” He asked softly.

“Yeah, it’s... it’s just a little...overwhelming.” He whispered breathlessly. He rested his forehead on Robert’s shoulder, making him shiver a little with the way his quick breath felt against his naked skin. Robert didn’t know whether he meant physically or emotionally, probably both, considering.

“It’s ok, just relax... does it feel good? You feel amazing to me...” Robert cooed. He felt Jimmy nodding quickly.

“Fuck, yes... it feels... so fucking good.” He answered and carefully moved his hips a little. Robert heard his breath hitch and knew right then that this wasn’t going to take long, but he didn’t mind, it was Jimmy’s very first time, after all. 

“Scoot up a tiny bit.” Robert told him and moaned in approval once he did. “Yeah, that’s good... that’s a good angle... move...come on, fuck me.” He prompted and Jimmy did, very slowly and carefully at first, then with a bit more confidence when Robert started to meet his thrusts. The little sounds Jimmy started making very soon with every thrust drove the older man absolutely crazy and he began to grind himself against the pillow he’d propped himself up with. At this angle, Jimmy’s cock rubbed against his sweet spot almost every time and he felt himself getting closer.

The grinding motion made his muscles tighten around Jimmy’s cock every time and the boy made a desperate little sound and stopped moving.

“Robert... I... I’m gonna come...” He panted and buried his face in the crook of Robert’s neck. He was afraid he’d finish too quickly, but the other man didn’t mind.

“Yeah... good... don’t hold back...” Robert answered and started moving a little faster as well when Jimmy picked up thrusting again. He shoved his hand between himself and the pillow and started stroking himself, unable to hold back any longer. Jimmy’s thrusts became less coordinated and his hips stuttered as he came with a little moan. It took Robert just a little bit longer to get there as well. 

Jimmy rolled off of him and lay on the bed next to him, catching his breath. He then turned his head to look at Robert and grinned.

“Ok... we have to do that again, soon.” He said and the blonde laughed.

“We definitely do, yes.” He agreed. He tossed the pillow aside so he could turn on his side and pulled the younger man closer. “I take it you enjoyed it.”

“Hmmmhm.” He hummed in agreement and reached up to caress Robert’s face gently, smiling at him happily. “I love you so much... I thought I’d never get to enjoy this, with anyone... to be so close to anyone... and I don’t mean physically. Well, not only physically.” 

“Aww, baby... but of course you would, you knew I wanted this for a while now...” Robert cooed and held him close.

“It’s still strange to me that you do... you’re older than me, bigger than me, manlier than me... all that, and still...” He trailed off and shrugged. “I didn’t think you’d actually want it, I thought you just said it to turn me on.”

“No... I really wanted it. I craved feeling you inside me...” He whispered. “It’s all about intimacy, in the end, isn’t it? Doesn’t matter which way ‘round. I mean, for us it matters, but that’s ok. I like it. I loved it, you felt amazing and I’ll want to do it again.”

“Maybe... maybe one day I can... return the favor.” Jimmy whispered insecurely and hid his face, tucking his head under Robert’s chin.

“First of all... this wasn’t a favor. I wasn’t doing you a favor, I wanted it just as much as you did. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. You have all the reasons in the world not to want that. You don’t even need a reason, some people just don’t like it and that’s ok. I don’t mind. I’m more than happy this way.” Robert reassured him again, kissing the top of his head. Jimmy sighed and snuggled closer.

“Thank you.” He just whispered, then he laughed. “I can’t believe you did this, you’re such a giant dork. You should totally get into art school, too, you know.” He added, reaching out to pick up one of the silly, crude drawings. Robert laughed as well. 

“Oh come on, I did my best! I did also make a reservation at our favorite restaurant for dinner... so it’s not only silly and goofy, I did something romantic.” He said. 

“Really? How did you get a table, they must be fully booked, it’s Valentine’s day!” Jimmy said. 

“Well... the first time we were there, last year... when I paid, I also made the reservation for today.” Robert admitted. “I really liked spending that evening with you, there, so I thought it’d be nice to take you there again for Valentine’s day.”

“It is... thank you!” Jimmy said. “Sooo... sex first, date later, that’s how you roll?” He then asked teasingly and poked Robert’s side. 

“I was horny! I didn’t want to wait until we got home!” Robert defended himself, laughing as Jimmy tickled him. He tickled him back until they were both breathless again, then they got up to get ready for dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is going to be the epilogue...


	23. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The epilogue. The end. The hearing, the trial.

It took a few more months for the investigation to be completed, and another few months until the trials started. When they did, Jimmy was a mess once again. He had been doing pretty well until then, he’d made it into art school, he’d even managed to talk to his employers and got them to let him work weekends so he could attend school, everything had been just wonderful between him and Robert as well.

When the first letter from court came, the summoning for the first day of the trial against his parents, his mental health had plummeted, especially since he’d been asked to testify in the presence of the defendants. He hadn’t been prepared to face his parents, neither of them thought he’d have to, they just hadn’t thought they’d made him actually show up in the same courtroom as them. 

Robert even talked to Jimmy’s lawyer and got him to write a letter to the judge, asking her to not make the boy testify in front of his parents, but it had all been in vain.

Having to face his parents terrified Jimmy more than anything and it showed. The letter came three weeks before the first day of the trial and the boy had been a mess ever since. He’d picked up drinking again, he often refused to talk to Robert or even look at him, for that matter, he stopped going to school, he stopped going to work, he didn’t even go to therapy anymore, he just sat in his room, drank, listened to music loudly and tried to ignore the world around him. Robert tried his best to get through to him, to reassure him, but Jimmy wouldn’t let him.

When Robert found him passed out in his room once again, several empty bottles of hard booze and the little sachet with white powder from his backpack, now empty, next to him, he called his therapist and asked her to come over. He didn’t call John or an ambulance, he knew Jimmy would be fine, it was ‘just’ cocaine after all and he was just passed out from the alcohol.

He talked to Jenny, the therapist, at length about what had happened and how Jimmy had responded to it, how he’d changed almost immediately, how he’d been in a downwards spiral ever since. Robert was more than glad that she had agreed to come see him and help Jimmy, she had been worried when he’d failed to show up for his sessions. It took them a while to get him to agree to talk to her, but when he did, Robert breathed a sigh of relief. 

Jenny was absolutely shocked at his state, especially since he’d changed completely and so quickly just because of the prospect of seeing his parents again and decided to put Jimmy on medication, to balance him out and stop his self destructive behaviour. She prescribed quite a few things, telling Robert that she was afraid he’d keep getting worse and end up seriously hurting himself. She had tried to avoid it, so far, because the young man had been doing pretty well and because he’d said he didn’t want to be dependant on pills, but now there was no way around it anymore. Reluctant, he agreed to take them.

It helped, in a way. He stopped being completely out of it, he started going back to work, he tried to go to school, but he was just way too apathetic to care about any of it. He talked to Robert again, but there was nothing behind anything he said, he was more like a robot than a human being and Robert hated it more than anything. He just wanted his boyfriend back, to see him laugh and smile again, to be close to him again.

When he contacted Jenny once more, to complain about the state Jimmy was in now, due to the meds, she told him that they’d have to adjust the dosage, that he wasn’t supposed to be feeling that way, but they’d have to talk to him first, so she agreed to come over again because Jimmy was in no mood to actually go to her office and if he didn’t want to do something, nothing could convince him and Robert knew that.

“Jimmy, baby, Jenny is here to talk to you.” Robert said carefully when he opened the door to the younger man’s room. He looked up from his laptop, he was playing some kind of game and nodded absentmindedly before going right back to it. He didn’t even look like he was having fun with it. Robert sighed, he hated seeing Jimmy like this, he used to be so curious about everything, he used to love reading, learning new things and talking about it to Robert, going out, seeing new things, he was excited and talkative, and now he was... this. It was hard to look at.

“How are you feeling, sweety?” Jenny asked, sitting on the bed next to the boy. It occurred to Robert that they had a much closer relationship than a patient and a therapist should, probably, but in this case, maybe it was ok. Jimmy needed someone to trust. He paused the game and looked at them both.

“I... don’t know? OK, I guess.” He said slowly and shrugged, all sluggish. Jenny cringed. 

“We wanted to talk about your medication... I think we need to adjust your dosage, this is too much... you’re not supposed to be feeling like this. I made a mistake making you take so much.” She explained. Jimmy watched her as she spoke, but he took a moment to answer. 

“Ok, good... because I hate this.” He admitted, looking down at his hands. “I mean... in a way it’s better than before, but it’s also... horrible? I just... don’t care about anything... I don’t feel anything... nothing matters.” He whispered and it broke Robert’s heart. “I’m not that scared, constantly, and worried anymore, but... I don’t like this, either.” He sighed.

“I’m sorry, Jimmy, I shouldn’t have given you so much right away. I had no idea you’d react so strongly to them and your symptoms were so bad, I was worried about you... We’ll fix it, I promise.” She said and reached over to his nightstand, where he kept his medication, and started scribbling down how much to take of each, and when. One of the pills, she put in her purse, he probably wasn’t supposed to take that one anymore at all. “There, let’s try like this and you’ll tell me how you’re feeling next time I come to see you, ok? We’ll just have to find the right dosage for you, you shouldn’t be feeling completely numb, that’s not what this is supposed to do.” 

“Ok... thank you. How should I feel, then?” Jimmy asked. 

“Normal, but less anxious and less impulsive. This is supposed to help with your anxiety, your dissociation, your flashbacks and help you sleep. It should balance you out a little. They’re not supposed to make you feel nothing at all, or not care.” Jenny explained. 

“It’s awful. I barely feel like a person at all. I just... don’t wanna do anything. Everything’s boring.” Jimmy complained and sighed. Robert gently wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer. He let it happen and leaned against him. “Not even kissing you makes my heart beat faster like it used to.” Jimmy added, towards him, and hid his face in Robert’s hair. 

The blonde closed his eyes for a moment against the pain that statement caused. He was terrified of Jimmy falling out of love with him, for whatever reason. He knew it was probably unjustified and it’d be fine in the end, but he couldn’t help it. They hadn’t been particularly close the past few weeks, due to Jimmy’s state, there was some cuddling, some kissing, but that had been it, and now he learned that Jimmy hadn’t even felt anything when it happened. It hurt. 

“That’s going to change, don’t you worry, you’re going to be yourself again very soon.” The therapist promised again and Jimmy nodded.

“Will I... get my... uhm... sex drive back, too?” He then asked, reluctantly, fidgeting with the hem of Robert’s sleeve. It was true, he hadn’t felt like doing anything since he’d been put on the medication. Jenny hesitated. 

“Well... this medication can inhibit that... you might just... not feel like it...” She said slowly.

“It’s not gonna make my little... uh... problem... come back, if I do feel like it, is it?” Jimmy asked. 

“Jimmy, it might. It’s one of the side effects.” She sighed, clearly reluctant because she knew that the young man feared that the most.

“Then I’m not taking them anymore.” Jimmy decided, crossing his arms. “I’d rather deal with the anxiety and all that than going back to *that*.” Of course Robert remembered how much that had affected him, how useless, inadequate, wrong and broken he had felt and how much better he’d felt once that problem had been solved. 

“Isn’t it also a good thing that your sex drive is a little lower?” Jenny asked.

“A little lower? It’s gone.” Jimmy huffed. “Also, why would that be a good thing?” He pouted. Jenny glanced at Robert for a moment, then sighed.

“Because you told me that at times, it was all you could think about. That’s not healthy.” She explained. Robert smiled, that sounded more like Jimmy. He hadn’t actually minded the boy being all over him at almost all times, they were quite evenly matched when it came to that, he was definitely able to keep up, so he didn’t mind.

“Isn’t that normal, in a new relationship? Honeymoon phase and all that?” He suggested.

“It shouldn’t be all-consuming, the only thing you ever think about.” She answered. “You shouldn’t be unable to focus on work because it’s all you can think of.”

“It wasn’t like that.” Jimmy said, still pouting. “I mean, sometimes, yes, but I also enjoyed doing other things, right? I just enjoyed *that* a lot.” That was also true. Robert felt like the therapist was making a problem out of something that just wasn’t an issue at all. They’d spent a lot of time together, they really enjoyed each other’s company and doing things together, it wasn’t just sex.

“Give it a try, Jimmy. Just for a week, just until the hearing is over. If it’s not working out, we can still phase them out.” Jenny insisted. Jimmy sighed.

“Alright. I’ll try.” He finally gave him. Robert squeezed him lightly and kissed his forehead. 

“Is there anything else you wanna talk about?” She then asked gently, smiling at him. Jimmy shook his head.

“Thanks, but... I don’t know, my head’s pretty empty right now.” He sighed. 

“Alright, then... I’ll check in with you in a few days, but you can always call me if anything comes up.” Jenny said and got up. “See you.”

“Bye...”

“See you, thank you for agreeing to drop by again.” Robert said and gave her a smile as well as she left. She may not be perfect, she may have made a mistake with the meds, but she did really care about her patients and always did her best. He nuzzled Jimmy’s neck and held him even closer.

“Thank you for sticking with me, even now...” The boy said with a sigh and hugged him. “I’m sorry I’m not the best boyfriend in the world right now.”

“It’s ok, baby... I know this is incredibly hard for you...” Robert cooed. He appreciated Jimmy talking to him and hugging him, he’d missed it. “We’re going to get through it, together.”

“I know. Right now, I think I can face them, you know.” He said. “It may be the pills, but I feel like I won’t mind seeing them. Not much, at least.”

“I know you’ll be fine. I know the initial shock was bad, when you read that you’ll have to, but it won’t be so bad. Think about it, everything there will be against them, they’ll be the ones in the hot seat, facing prison time. You, on the other hand, are facing a whole new life as a successful artist... and with me.” He said and Jimmy actually smiled. It was a small one, but it was there nevertheless. 

“You’re right. I have things they’ll never have. I have people who actually love me and care about me.” Jimmy answered and this time, Robert smiled. This was the first time he’d said something like that out loud, usually he doubted everyone’s intentions and feelings towards him. It was good to hear that. 

“Exactly.” He said and kissed his forehead again. “You even have a real Mom now.” He added. Robert’s mother had taken Jimmy under her wing immediately, she had come over much more often recently, doting on both of them and she loved Jimmy like he was her own child. 

“I do, huh?” Jimmy said. “God, I wished I could really, truly appreciate all that right now... but I just can’t... feel it. I know I’m so fucking lucky... I don’t even know why the prospect of meeting them again threw me off so much, I should have expected that, but I guess I just... didn’t. Maybe I didn’t want to think about it.” He sighed. Robert gently rubbed his back, he was just happy Jimmy was talking to him, this was the most he’d spoken in the past few weeks. 

“It’s understandable, though, after what they did to you. Don’t beat yourself up about it.” He said. 

“I try not to. I just felt so guilty about making it so hard for you.” Jimmy said and hugged the older man even more tightly. “I want to get better, for you.” 

“For me? Not for yourself?” Robert smiled. 

“Well... both, I suppose.” Jimmy agreed. “Right now, I just wanna feel normal again.”

“You will, just give it some time for the meds to wear off.” Robert said encouragingly. “You do know that I never minded you wanting a lot of sex, right?” He then added. “I would have said so if I did.”

“Sometimes I was afraid you would mind. You never said anything, you never initiated anything, but you never turned me down when I did, either, so...” He shrugged.

“I never initiated because I thought you’d be more comfortable if I let you be in charge.” Robert answered. 

“I am.” The younger man agreed. “That doesn’t mean you can’t tell me you want me.”

“You know I do.” Robert said. It wasn’t something he could hide very well, all Jimmy had to do was kiss him a certain way or climb in his lap and he was gone, that’s all it took. “I’m just saying, don’t ever feel bad about what you want, or how much or how often. She’s turning something into a problem that’s not even an issue in the first place. We’re a perfect match, I think. I’ve been in relationships where my partner and me had awfully mismatched sex drives, where it just wasn’t enough for me, and that... just sucked. This is perfect. You’re not wearing me out or anything and I love being with you.” 

“Thank you for saying that. I was a really worried, especially after she told me I’m... too sexual.” Jimmy pouted. “She said I’m using it to distract myself from my problems or to prove to myself that being raped didn’t affect me, but... I don’t think I was, I just really enjoy being with you.” 

“Then nothing has to change.” Robert said and squeezed him again. “Hey, wanna spend some time with me? I mean, just hanging out, or maybe we could go for a walk?” He asked. He knew it was hard for Jimmy to do anything right now, he just didn’t really feel like it, but he longed to spend time with him so much, he had to ask. To his relief, Jimmy nodded.

“Yeah. We could watch some TV together, maybe.” He offered.

“Hmm, sure, or you could show me what you’re playing, maybe we can play together?” Robert asked, nodding towards the computer on the younger man’s lap. “Take your laptop to my office and we can play.” 

“Really? You’d want to play with me?” He asked and Robert grinned.

“You know I love playing with you.” He said cheekily and Jimmy actually laughed a little. It was great to hear that, only now did Robert realize just how much he’d really missed that.

“Shut up. You know what I mean. Really?” He asked. 

“Yes, really! Come on!” Robert answered and got up. Jimmy carefully took his laptop and followed him. They spent the rest of the day in Robert’s office, playing video games, and actually having a really good time together. The blonde was more than relieved, he felt like he had his boyfriend back even though Jimmy wasn’t completely like his usual self, at least he seemed to be enjoying what they were doing.

Dialing back on the medication definitely worked, Jimmy soon felt more like himself again, but a lot less anxious than before, even though the big day drew closer and closer. He was just a lot less impulsive and self destructive, he didn’t have as many flashbacks, the periods where he just sat there, staring at something, dissociating, became a lot less as well. They even seemed to help with his constant doubts about whether or not Robert really loved him and wanted him, as well.

When the day of the hearing had finally come, Robert promised to stay close in case he needed him, Jenny, Annie and John where there as well, for moral support, but by the time they entered the courtroom, Jimmy was trembling anyway and clutching Robert’s hand like a lifeline. They were the first ones to enter, but soon, the defendants as well as their lawyers entered and Robert felt his boyfriend tense up even more. Luckily, they’d allowed him to stay close to him.

He noticed that Jimmy hadn’t even looked up at his parents yet, but he must have seen them enter in the corner of his eye. He couldn’t blame him for not wanting to look at them, but he couldn’t help but do so, himself. 

His mother was a tall, mousy woman with short, dark hair, wearing a long, dark blue skirt and a brown cardigan over a white blouse. She was clutching a silver cross that was hanging from a necklace around her neck and muttering something under her breath, probably a prayer. Robert wanted nothing more than to rip that cross out of her hand and shove it down her throat. She looked like the epitome of a sad, repressed bigot and he couldn’t have hated her more.

His father was a little taller, bulky, had short, greying hair and a hard face. He was wearing a plain suit. Robert briefly wondered where on earth Jimmy had his otherworldly beauty from because it sure as hell wasn’t from these two people. He could see the hate on his father’s face, he could almost feel the disgust radiating from him as he looked at him. Knowing that Jimmy needed him and that it wasn’t going to do them any good at all was the only thing that kept him from going up there and punching him in the face. The very thought of how scared the poor boy must have been, at 15, when this man had beaten him, made his blood boil, but he forced himself to remain calm.

Instead, he gave him a hard glare and pulled Jimmy a little closer. He was keeping it together remarkably well so far and Robert was proud of him. The boy then glanced up and his gaze fell on his parents for the first time. Robert felt him stiffen even more and he couldn’t keep looking at them for more than a few seconds before he turned away, snuggling into Robert’s embrace and hiding his face. 

To their relief, the judge soon entered the courtroom as well so the hearing could finally begin. They’d decided on a trial without a jury, for Jimmy’s protection, mostly because he had been a minor when his father had beaten him. His case being judged by so many people would be devastating for his mental health, so there was only the judge.

The indictment was read, several other witnesses were heard, and then it was Jimmy’s turn. He refused to leave Robert’s side, so the judge allowed him to stay where he was and he stoically, in a shaky voice, read what he’d written down beforehand, with the help of Robert and his lawyer. Once he was done, he asked the judge for a break and she agreed immediately, sensing that the boy needed a moment after what he’d just told them. 

Jimmy’s mother had prayed silently all through Jimmy’s testimony and Robert couldn’t believe how rude she was, like she was the victim and he was hurting her. The judge had stopped Jimmy once and reprimanded his mother, telling her to be quiet, but even then she had kept muttering under her breath, just even more quietly.

Once they left the courtroom and went outside to have a breather, Jimmy flung himself into Robert’s arms again and started crying.

“Do you see now what they’re like? Do you believe me now? They still don’t think they’ve done anything wrong!” He sobbed.

“I always believed you... but yes... seeing them with my own two eyes... they’re horrible.” Robert said with a sigh, hugging the boy close and rubbing his back gently. “But they don’t matter. Once this is over, you’ll never have to deal with them again.”

“You have us now, sweety.” Annie, who came over to comfort Jimmy as well, said gently and put a hand on his shoulder. “You have a family.” She added and the younger man turned around to hug her tightly as well. 

“I know... thank you for being here.” He whispered. John and Jenny came over, too, and all four of them stood around Jimmy, hugging him and comforting him, and it brought tears to his eyes again, happy ones this time. “You guys are making me cry, you’re so awesome. Thank you.” He said with a little smile and wiped away some tears. 

“Oh my god, look, over there.” Jenny then gasped and pointed at a group of young people, about 20 or 25 of them had gathered in front of the courthouse, they were all holding various banners and pride flags. Robert recognized some of Jimmy’s friends in the group and he smiled at them and waved. They all cheered and waved back and Jimmy couldn’t do anything but stare at them for a moment as his eyes filled with tears yet again. 

“They’re here to support you, too.” Robert said and squeezed his hand gently, smiling at him encouragingly. Jimmy was incredibly touched and he looked at Robert helplessly for a moment, then he laughed and hugged him before running over to where his friends had gathered to hug and thank each and every one of them. The blonde and his friends also made his way over there to talk to them a bit before they were called back into the courtroom. Jimmy looked a whole lot more confident now, his friends and family had really given him a much needed boost. 

John was called to the witness stand next and Robert tried not to listen to what he had to tell the judge, he really didn’t want to know what those monsters his parents had hired had done to Jimmy and he knew the boy also didn’t want him to know, but he couldn’t just leave the courtroom and he couldn’t block it out entirely, either. It was horrible, knowing just what injuries they had left on Jimmy’s body and he could tell that the boy minded that he knew. He probably feared it would make him love him less, but that was not the case.

Next, it was Jenny’s turn to tell the judge, from a psychological point of view, what their abuse had done to Jimmy and it was tough to listen to. Robert could tell that Jimmy was ashamed of how much it had affected him, maybe even more so than of the physical injuries he’d received from the two brothers raping him. 

When it was finally their turn, Jimmy’s parents didn’t say much. Both of them said that they’d just acted according to their beliefs, they’d just done what God would have wanted them to do. They didn’t deny anything, though. Their lawyers read their final speech as well, it didn’t offer much in their defence either and the judge just looked at them in disbelief before shaking her head and deciding they were going to retire for deliberation.

Robert hadn’t expected the trial to go so smoothly, he’d expected them to deny everything and draw this out over several hearings, making this last for weeks on end, but it looked like they’d get a sentence today, and they did. It only took them about an hour and a half to reach the conclusion that they’d both receive the maximum penalty, Jimmy’s father for grievous bodily harm, abuse and hiring those men to rape Jimmy (it was treated both as a hate crime and like he’d been the one to do it himself, since there was no specific law about this, apparently). His mother got the maximum penalty as his accomplice. 

Of course the sentence was nowhere near enough for what they’d done to Jimmy, but it was the harshest sentence the judge could have given and Robert was glad that she saw how horrible these people were and the damage they’d caused. He sighed as he thought about how they’d probably have to go through this again for the other trial, against the three brothers, but he knew that one would be easier on Jimmy than the one against his parents. 

Once the sentence had been delivered, Jimmy spoke up.

“Your honor, may I please say something?” He asked in a small voice. Everybody turned to look at him and he seemed to shrink a little, but he didn’t back down. The judge smiled at him gently and nodded.

“Of course, go ahead.” She agreed. Jimmy took a deep breath, then looked up at his parents, addressing them directly for the first time.

“You did not break me. Nothing you could ever do to me would change who I am. I’m not even sure if I am gay. I’m still figuring things out. But I know that there’s nothing wrong with me.” He said softly. “I am so... *so* much better off now than I was when I was living with you. I have friends. I have a real family now. I have so many people who love me, just the way I am.” He said, glancing over at Annie, John and Jenny.

Robert watched as his parents sank lower in their seats as if they wanted to disappear, his mother staring at the floor, his father was glaring daggers at him, but Jimmy stood his ground nevertheless. 

“I have this wonderful man who loves me. And I love him.” He continued and looked up at Robert briefly, then took his hand in his own. The blonde smiled and squeezed it gently. Jimmy turned back to his parents. “This is so, so much more than you’ll ever have. Have you ever even loved each other? You just got married out of a stupid, imaginary obligation to ‘God’.” He spat. “You’ll never know what it feels like to be loved. I am, in so many ways, so much richer than you.” He finished with his head held high, before lowering it and hiding behind his hair once again. 

Slowly, everyone in the courtroom got up from their seats and started applauding him. Robert was pretty sure the judge would have done so as well if she hadn’t been on duty, but this was all she could do was give him a little smile and a nod. Robert couldn’t possibly be more proud of his boyfriend and he couldn’t help but pull him into his arms and kiss him. Jimmy gasped in surprise, but then he laughed and kissed him back, much to his father’s horror. 

The younger man was incredibly exhausted by the time it was over and he just wanted to go home. Outside the courthouse, the press was waiting for them, but he couldn't deal with that right now. Robert asked his lawyer to talk to them briefly and tell them about the sentence. He wanted people to know about this. They stopped to tell Jimmy’s friends as well and they all cheered, waving their flags and clapping their hands, happy that justice had been served. Jimmy smiled groggily, the whole day had been incredibly emotionally draining for him, Robert just wanted to take him home and take care of him, feed him a warm meal and tuck him in. 

Luckily, everybody could tell how exhausted the boy was, so they let them go quickly. Robert drove home as quickly as traffic would allow, eager to pamper his boyfriend after such a hard day. 

“How do you feel, what do you wanna do? What would help best?” He asked gently once they were at home. Jimmy thought about it for a moment.

“I would like... can you just hold me and... sing to me, maybe?” He asked shyly. He knew Robert was still terribly self conscious about singing, so he hadn’t ever asked for it, but there was no way the blonde could deny him now.

“Of course, love.” He agreed. They snuggled in their favorite spot, on the big sofa in front of the TV and Robert held him close, softly singing to him for a while, just letting him rest and calm down. After a few songs, Jimmy looked up at him with a little smile.

“Thank you... that was beautiful. Hearing you sing makes me feel so calm.” He admitted and pecked Robert’s cheek gently. 

“I’m glad you like it...” The older man said bashfully. “How do you feel now?” He asked again, Jimmy hadn’t really answered his question earlier. He just shrugged.

“I don’t know. Drained, mostly.” He sighed. “Relieved. Liberated. I got to tell them that they didn’t manage to make me something I’m not. That... felt good.” He said.

“You were amazing. I’m so fucking proud of you.” Robert said. 

“There’s one thing that bothered me.” Jimmy then admitted, all pensive.

“What is it?” The blonde prompted. 

“When the judge read their names out loud... it reminded me... that I don’t like how I still carry their name. I... don’t feel any sort of connection to those people, I don’t want to be a ‘Page’.” He said, then huffed. “They named me after my father. I literally have the exact same name. I can’t even tell you how much I hate that. There’s no words.” 

“Understandable.” Robert nodded, then he had an idea. He knew how to solve that problem. He knew it was incredibly impulsive, way too quick and it might be incredibly stupid, but it felt like the right thing to do. “I... wait. Just a second.” He said and disentangled himself from his boyfriend, then dashed up the stairs, leaving a very bewildered looking Jimmy behind. 

His heart was pounding when he dug through the drawer in his bedroom until he found a little box. He popped the lid open to look at the contents and smiled. There was a small, silver engagement ring with a single, small emerald in the center, framed by tiny little sparkling diamonds. It was beautiful, very small and elegant, just a simple band with the gems, nothing super fancy or over the top. 

It was his grandmother’s engagement ring, she had given it to him a few months before she died. She said she wanted him to have it and give it to the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. It had been a little more than a year since he’d first met Jimmy, but he was sure he was the one. They’d been through so much, he couldn’t imagine anything would ever tear them apart. 

He closed the little box again and made his way back downstairs, bumping into Jimmy in the hallway.

“What are you... Robert, what is happening?” Jimmy asked. The blonde just smiled at him, excited, and took his hand.

“Come.” He said softly and pulled him along into the backyard. He wasn’t going to do it in the hallway. Or the living room. He wanted to make this at least a little romantic, so he took Jimmy to the little patch where he’d grown some roses several years ago, he hadn’t taken care of them very well, so they were growing all over the place, wild but beautiful. The sun was just starting to set and the whole atmosphere was very romantic.

“Robert, please tell me what’s going on, what are you doing?” Jimmy asked, looking at him in confusion. Robert smiled at him nervously, then slowly dropped on one knee in front of him, uncaring that the damp grass was ruining the trousers of his suit. He had been hiding the little box with the ring so far, but now he pulled it out from behind his back as he sank down. Jimmy’s eyes widened. “Oh my god... are you serious...” He whispered under his breath when it dawned on him just what was happening.

“I know this is very sudden... I know this may not be the perfect moment... but then again, it is.” Robert started. “Jimmy, I love you and I...” He stammered, then took a deep breath and opened the little box with trembling fingers. “Will you marry me?” 

The younger man stared at him for a moment, then at the ring, then back at his face. He looked like he was about to faint. Then he slowly dropped to his knees as well, cradling Robert’s hands in his own.

“I... Robert, I...” He stammered in disbelief, he didn’t even know what to say.

“I know you didn’t expect this. I Know... you’re very young... I won’t be upset if you say no.” Robert whispered. His hands were still trembling ever so slightly and his heart still hadn’t stopped pounding since he got this silly idea. 

“The hell I’m gonna say no! Fuck, of course I’ll marry you, you stupid idiot!” Jimmy exclaimed and Robert almost dropped the box with the ring into the grass when he found himself with an armful of Jimmy. He tumbled backwards and landed on his butt. They both laughed and Robert wrapped his arms around the younger man tightly, but Jimmy pulled back again to kiss him. He then looked at him, chewing his lower lip.

“You’re not only doing this because I mentioned my name... are you?” He asked, worried. Robert shook his head.

“I mean... it gave me the stupid idea to pop the question right now, but... I’ve been thinking about this for a few weeks.” He admitted. “I love you, you’re perfect for me in every way... I don’t want to imagine my life without you.” 

“I... I love you, too... I can’t believe you really want this...” Jimmy whispered. “This is insane.”

“Maybe so. But I know that I want you.” Robert answered and took the brunette’s hand. “May I?” He asked. He prayed that the ring would fit Jimmy, it was very small, but then again, the boy had very dainty, elegant fingers. When he nodded, Robert took the ring out of the box and slid it on his finger. It was a little tight, but other than that, it fit just fine.

“This is beautiful.” He whispered as he looked down at it. He reached out with his other hand to run his fingers across the top of the ring in wonder.

“It... it was once my grandmother’s engagement ring.” Robert said. “She wanted me to have it, to give it to the one I want to spend my life with.”

“Oh god... are you sure you want me to have this?? What if I lose it...? I’m so clumsy!” Jimmy gasped worriedly. 

“You won’t. See, it’s not even lose, you won’t just drop it. Don’t worry about it.” Robert reassured him. 

“It’s just... there’s so much more to this, it’s not just *some* ring... Am I really worth it?” Jimmy said insecurely. 

“You’re worth everything to me.” Robert said seriously and Jimmy looked up at him. He looked like he was about to cry again. 

“Fuck... what a day... it’s gonna take me a while to process all of this.” He said, laughing, still in disbelief. “Oh my god, I’m engaged.” He then said as if he only just realized it. “My life is a fucking fairy tale. How is any of this even real? My boyfriend just proposed to me! My hot, gorgeous, millionaire boyfriend!” Robert laughed loudly, Jimmy was just too adorable, how he needed to reassure himself that all of this was actually happening. 

“You deserve good things, love.” He said then, caressing Jimmy’s face. The boy looked at him for another moment, studying his face before wrapping his arms around his neck again and kissing him, slowly and deeply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, folks... this is it. This is the end. What a ride this story has been! Woah! I really, really enjoyed writing this and I hope you guys enjoyed reading it!! 
> 
> Thank you SO much, everyone who left kudos, everyone who commented, especially those of you who came back and commented on (almost) every chapter, I appreciated that SO, so much! You made me write this! Thank you!
> 
> There IS a sequel now! Good Times! Jimmy and Robert get married. I've added it as a second part of the series here on AO3!

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave some feedback if you're so inclined, it helps a ton! Thank you!


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